Well, next to "smug" in the dictionary is his picture, so that goes without saying.

I always found all the dressing up, teas and daddy-daughter stuff in Vision Forum to be really weird. Feel badly for his wife, and family, though. Curious how my "apply this formula to life and get perfection" hs acquaintances will see this.

Ds is taking his little brother, but at 15 he is a bit old to dress up. However, he saw a costume so where on the Internet and asked me to take him to Lowes for supplies for it- gray paint samples. He is going to staple them to an old t shirt and go as "50 shades of Gray"!

Oh it is foul play, but welfare fraud type of foul play, not child trafficking kind. Not that it's okay. But now you have to add in the historic marginalization of the Roma, and poverty, and wonder- is it surprising? Not is it ok, it isnt, but is it surprising? Is it enough to have your child taken? What if it isn't your child, but her (reportedly) Bulgarian mother didn't want her, is that ok? What in the marginalization and persecution of the Roma makes some of this understandable, and some of it not? what about the very real problem of child trafficking and forced prostitution? And the burning of Roma encampments and their forced expulsion from places, that in some cases, they have lived for many years? Where do these things intersect and how are they related? It's just not a black or white issue.

Martha, I "liked" your posts but I just want to say you have articulated very well the things I find disturbing about this case. Because they are Roma, is it automatically presumed she will be an illiterate child bride fetching a big dowry for her hair color, bought by these people for this purpose? It very well may be, but the automatic assumption, because they are Roma with a blonde headed girl, just doesn't seem right. raising girls for the express purpose of marriage is hardly unique to the Roma, anyway. But add in a blonde child, and baby stealing, and you have a firestorm of old stories come to pass in real life- everyones prejudices are confirmed...or are they? This case, and this thread, and the presence of "gypped" in a textbook, really make me think. Thanks Martha and WTM!

Ds and I were talking about this tonight in the car after hearing a blurb on NPR. He gasped and said "gypsy's really do steal children?!" because (I am embarrassed to say) we have joked he is our gypsy baby as he looks nothing like us and possesses all sorts of odd skills none of the rest of us do (like being ambidextrous, completely). So we talked about the Roma, and I used an example from one of our literature readings the other day- they used the word "gypped". And what it meant (we didn't read that, I saw it in the book was remembered this word being common in my youth) and the discrimination against the Roma. It's a tough issue, fact and age old prejudice (baby stealing!) get all swirled together. Just look at me and my joking Ds was switched by gypsies...why did I think that was ok? I hope the truth can be found.

For my Ds it is absolutely connected to dairy, but other people I know with it have had no luck isolating anything food related or environmental.

I thought about posting on the other thread, but it's sort of different, so I will start my own. We moved back to the us last year, and I am pretty un happy with where we live. We lived here in the past (first time ever moving to a place twice in 25 years!) and I just dislike the area immensely. High COL, bad traffic, uptight people, not beautiful geographically though not as terrible as some places we have lived. dh will change jobs in 2 years, and I am hoping for a job overseas, preferably in one of the Asian countries we lived in before. My sons also hope this, and dislike this area. To be honest, they dislike America. They have friends, but I can tell that they, like me, are sort of in a "holding pattern" waiting to move away. It worries me- I am wondering if my attitude is affecting them, if they are so used to a transient lifestyle they can't help it, if they will ever be able to feel comfortable anywhere. it's made us a very tight k nit family, for sure, they are each others best friends, but as they get older (15 and 12 now) I wonder if this is really a good thing. Due to living far away, we aren't terribly close with extended family- I know they feel out of place at family gatherings, and family expectations for them and our lives are wildly disparate with the realities of our lives. Family truly does not "get" the kids, (or us, really) because they have all lived in one place for ever. So even in our extended families, the boys are "outsiders". Is this a valid worry? That my boys don't seem to form attachments to people and places? That they really don't like their own country and would prefer to live in another? Seems wrong somehow, but I can't really articulate why. they are total outsiders there, too, obviously not of the majority ethnicity, so it isn't a matter of going back where they fit in, but rather just liking the lifestyle, food, etc better. Friends and family really don't seem to matter to them- I've asked many times "wouldn't you miss-----?what about the dance studio/co op/band class? " but they say no, and don't seem to be making friends on a deep level because I think in their minds, they are already assuming they will be gone in 2 years. In a way it's sort of stupid of me to be a parent of a 15 and 12 year old, who have lived in 6 states and 3 countries, and been out of the us for 7 years, and just now realizing that has some effect on a kid. They don't seem bothered by it, even the family stuff doesn't really bother them, per se, they just notice it but are quite mature in that they know it can't be helped really. I think that is what bothers me- in my mind, kids this age would be sad to move and leave their friends, but my kids are so used to it they just expect it and it's really not something they seem to care about. They care more about living some where they like better. I read a bit a long time ago on 3rd culture kids, but as it was just 7 years, not their whole lives (though to a 4 year old, I guess it may seem like it) they lived away. I didn't think we fit the profile. But maybe not? This is so rambling! Sorry about that. I've just been concerned about whether or not the seeming inability to form attachments to places or people outside our family is normal for this kind of kid. will they grow up to be transient wanderers? Is that necessarily a bad thing? I don't even know what I'm asking.

Oh my gosh, I'm glad to see this! I do that quite a bit, too. The first time I wondered if I ought to write a note to them, then decided that would be truly stalkerish.

Yes, our dog was spayed pregnant. She came into the shelter pregnant, and was due very soon so she was on "the chopping block". They simply couldn't have another 4-10 new dogs. She is a purebred lab, and the Best Dog Ever. She recovered just fine, a spay is never an easy procedure, and I believe a bit trickier if the animal is in heat or pregnant (your vet may charge more). Ours was the same package price with adoption, pregnant or not. Be sure to tell the vet this a stray you are taking in- I've rescued a gazillion cats and once had a vet in Colorado that gave me a hefty discount when she heard. Our apartments were cat dumping grounds, I rehomeds all but one, a (now) geriatric, mean thing no one wanted. She was spayed at a discount all those years ago! So it's worth a shot, anyway.

This must be a regional thing, I'm sort of glad I read this. Dh and I eloped overseas, but his family gave me a shower and it was all lingerie. I was so weirded out- a sexy nightie from his MOM?! I've seriously been confused about that all this time! Where I am from a shower (and I had one in my hometown thrown by my mom) is household stuff. So I was very confused all this time, lol. It must be a culture/region thing! I would never dream of asking, and I just blushed furiously (dh was present!) and made nice noises and tried to melt into my chair. Nothing was totally racy (no handcuffs) but it was so, so weird to me!

I just can't shake how creepy it is to have 400+ students sit quietly in a large room... reminds me of the Stepford Wives movie. (????) Are we programming a generation of Automated workers who can parrot (or regurgitate) back information via testing versus actual true learning? Sad. --------------- (forgive me, I'm on an iPad and get it to just quote the bit I want!) But this-yes! I figured even though Ds had issues, even though perhaps I couldn't get him academically as far as the school, well, at least he would escape that. It really was horrible, that second grade year, just damn depressing. I figured he could at least have joy in his day, if nothing else, and 8 years later here we are. The silent lunches, high stakes testing, for 7 year olds mind you- it just gave me the flat heebie-jeebies. It was NOT the school experience of my childhood. It was awful.

Oldest Ds went to school for 2nd grade, it was in the south. Silent lunch, and they had a ten minute recess at the end of the day...but that normally taken for some infraction (gotta love group punishments) so it averaged out to once a week. Once a week 10 minutes of recess, no lie. They did have gym twice a week, but it was run like a boot camp so not really the same as free play like recess would be. That, and the 7 practice standardized test, plus the real one, during the year made that our only foray into institutional school. I'd rather my kid be a moron than go through that. I grew up in the heady 70s and 80s, where we got 3 recesses, and gifted education was not just a packet of extra work but bussing to a separate school 5 days a week for half the day. We had naps in kindergarten, which was only half day as it was, and we did standardized testing once a year and never had any prep, high pressure assemblies, and had no idea what was even for. Somehow, I turned out pretty durn smart despite the lax testing and excessive recess. Shocker.

My expat community had organized caroling, and I went despite not being able to carry a tune in a bucket. It was fun! Also there was the German hot wine (I can't spell it) supplied by the German lady (there is always one, lol) for carrying around the cold night, so that helped. It sounds like a great way to meet the neighbors- maybe you can be the lady with the wine?

I love this thread! Oldest Ds has been buckling down and studying math (his nemesis) and wonder of wonders- he is getting it! I'm so proud of him for tackling his weak spots and working to shore them up. He won't be a mathematician, but no longer having to prod and spoon feed him gives me hope he will "make it" math wise. He just finally realized it wasn't going to magically appear in his brain, lol, and required work and study. Younger Ds had Nutcracker practice during the day (they know we home school and he has several solo parts) and I so wish he had rehearsal every day! He jumped out of bed to get moving on school because he knew he'd have a short window to finish, and came right home and worked until time for classes, no grumbling. It focuses him so much better to have a tight schedule, he has add and he was not medicated today (due to rehearsal) but still got everything done.

That's wonderful! Ds is taking it cold, no prep at all, but I plan to start some after this and before the next test next year. Good to hear about what works, is it a specific chalk dust PSAT course?

Ds is taking it "cold", no prep, but he has time on his side as he will get more chances. So I want to see what we really need to work on for the coming years. He doesn't test particularly well, hence all the test taking chances, and we live in an area with super wicked high cut offs for NMS so that isn't a factor. Probably not a factor anyway, but here- no freaking way! So no nerves for me at least- I haven't asked him!

Oh gosh, I'm glad to read this thread. We aren't "poor", but things take planning and budgeting for- we can't just plop down $100 for a field trip to a rope bridge park or a dance costume, we have to plan. And it seems like no one else ever does. And the prices for activities here are so, so high- because most can pay them, I guess, and it's an area where parents will and do do everything possible to get their child "ahead". Heck the high school just sent out fliers for sat prep classes to the tune of 1700! I want so badly for my kids to be able to do so many of these things too, that is the hardest part. Writing camps and instrument lessons, dance intensives and science clubs. We can do a bit, but it's a struggle and always a balancing act. We don't qualify for scholarships, and we can't afford it either. Mostly I feel bad for dh, who worries about money so much. His job is such that I can't really work part time, his schedule is unpredictable and he travels, so while the extra money would mean they could do extras...there would be no way to get them there.

Our current dog has brown eyes (gone cloudy now, she is old) but we had a black Chow with yellow eyes. She was a mix, the chow was the only identifiable part.

My oldest is a humanities loving, non math science guy. We are struggling through chemistry. What I find that is working is using texts to explain the concepts that are below grade level- for chem, prentice hall chemistry books specifically. They are middle school books, but they "click" for Ds because the math is taken out of the concepts. then we work the math issues separately as needed. He struggled to grasp the whole picture of the topics when bogged down by minutiae, but the conceptual introduction in easier books made it more accessible. He used, and hated, those books in middle school, but now that he is older they seem to work great as a broad overview of the topics in his high school course and he appreciates the simplicity of explanations. He still hates science though, lol.

Tablet class saved older Ds when he took algebra 1 via Keystone, the class was disorganized, confusing, and the teacher "help" consisted of a two word email response "page 357". He never would have passed the keystone class without tablet class!We tried Khan academy videos but they jump around too much and there isnt a logical progression (it's not a class, per se). My younger son is now using tc pre algebra, and loves it- he finished Saxon 8/7 and it's been a perfect transition. My older is nearly done with keystone geometry, and doing fine, but for algebra 2, we are using tablet class! The videos are very clear, and the guy who runs it is extremely helpful via email- he has even called! Ds got quite a kick out of that, lol. I wish tablet class was accredited or had transcripts available. As it stands, we paid $$$for keystone and the grade, but all the learning was via tablet class. I can't say enough about the value for the low cost of this program!

My youngest started getting Bo at around 7-8. Turned out, he didn't use soap...ever. Until we figured it out, boy did he smell. He has used deodorant ever since, and at 12 is not yet in puberty. I had to threaten no computer tomorrow to get him to shower tonight after dance, he is just gross, what can I say.

American school looks just like what they are needing. Are there any more like this? Someone mentioned university- affiliated high schools...any names for me? I have used keystone and so they looked at it ($$), they looked for an ps cyber school (don't have them in our state, k12 is $$) but that is all they found on their own. I'd like to put together some other alternatives for them that fit their criteria. But I don't use/like/want "school in a box" type programs, so as the only home schooler they know I am not very helpful! Is Abeka graded/teacher support/accredited? They are religious, evangelical Christian, so I don't think a religious curriculum is a problem, but outside support and verification is a must. I know very little about this type of program.

Laurel springs is expensive (relatively) and our state has no k12, apparently. I haven't looked myself, but she said their old state had it for free, but ours does not. That would be exactly what they want, but it's pricey out of pocket. Thank you for American school- I will look at it. Ive never heard of it, which why I asked you clever folks, you all know this stuff!

Hi all, a friend who has a very gifted ballerina is thinking of home schooling. Well, mostly they are thinking they do not want her to home school, but her schedule is such (and she is really talented) that it the only alternative. Also her high school is rough, she is having problems being picked on as a quiet, studious girl. Her mom is not comfortable at all with my style of home schooling, ie, oldest son is a sophomore but taking non- ps subjects like Asian History because, well, he wants to and I want to teach it,lol. Writing her own diploma would never fly- I'm sure she would be totally aghast that is my plan. All online schools such as keystone are very pricey, but that is what they would prefer. Must be not parent intensive, an accredited diploma, online preferred but cost is also an issue as her dh is balking since ps is "free". I can research ideas myself, but I thought I'd ask here first as you all are so stink in smart! The girl is miserable, her mom is miserable, and I would like to help find her options for high school. I fear she may have to quit ballet if they can't find a workable solution, and that would be an absolute shame. Our state doesn't have a free online cyber school, which would be totally perfect. Thanks in advance!