Early detection tests 'can' begin showing a positive from morning urine at 7dpo. Not that they always do reliably, but if you have some cheap early detection ones around, I usually begin testing obsessively at 7dpo.

First day was today. Apparently eldest, who can read at a third grade level, forgot what all the letters looked like, completely, let alone how to form them for her first ever spelling lesson *headdesk*. Also, writing lines are stupid, everything should be written between the first and second line. In capitals. At least she can read right? Middle loved school so long as I let her do cutting. She doesn't care about anything else, she will tolerate it as long as it leads to doing cutting. Math is just a segway to cutting. So are those stupid reading lessons. And no, she will NOT cut out plain paper, that's pointless. It must have lines. And pictures. And preferably become a picture or toy at the end. Why did I ever begin using kumon books... she did my entire weeks worth of cutting pages today. Youngest was cranky, even though she isn't meant to be doing real school yet, because I tried to offload her onto grandma who was here helping me with housecleaning. She knew she had a school folder, and her sister has been telling her (for weeks!) that there is cutting in it (because, remember, that's the only important part of school). i tried placating her with a quick math lesson, because I'm legally blind and prefer DH to introduce motor skills and grips, since he can see them. It didn't go down well. Also, everything is 3. one, two, three. Even a single ball is onetwothree. But judging by today, putting the books away for 6 months is going to be... protested. Oh, and tracing with dry erase marker is cool, but, dabbing it on the page, then wiping it off with a wet-wipe, over and over, then using the blackened wet wipe to stamp yourself, is much more fun. Oh boy.... bring on day two.

I think that different people have different dietary needs. I mean, think about it, over the many centuries when food transport was barely existent, plenty of people lived in places where very little vegetable or plant matter easily grew and they sustained themselves on meat, and plenty of people lived in places with easily grown produce but meat was harder to come by or reserved for the rich, and many people lived in places with plenty of produce and animals, but no significant room for grain crops due to trees and growth around them. I think it's natural perhaps different bodies need different things and there's no one size fits all solution, I think there's a genetic component to it. For OUR family, we don't do well on grains. Bread leaves us unwell, pasta leaves us hungry and cranky, rice leave us hungry or bloated depending on if we use white or brown. So I think the pro-meat and the pro-vegans are right, I just disagree they should be cutting each other out, instead I think they both should be cutting carbs out! It what annoyed me about the show of vegetables I watched recently, their big answer was to cut animal products, not to cut bread or rice or pasta. And they refused to acknowledge the health benefits of meat, even in their attempts to replace it with vegetables. So for US, we are almost carb-free now, we eat a lot of the vegan replacement stuff, things like nuts and seeds and beans, but for us they replace grains not meat, we also eat a lot of meat and fats. There's not two major groups here, there's three. But, for other people, our diet would be a nightmare. I know people who feel unwell eating too much protein. And you mention issues with too much fibre. I say this attempt to find a single solution is terrible. Find what works for your family. If there's a problem, fix it. Removing carbs fixed problems for us. But we also aren't militant about it (Especially when it comes to deserts! There's a pie waiting for me in the kitchen! Some bloating is totally worth the pie! lol)

I have 'symptoms' (mucus changes, tiredness, and pregnancy dreams/nightmares) within 24-48 hours. My nausea doesn't start until 5 weeks, but I know of women who had nausea as their first symptom at 3 weeks, well before the skipped period. It's definitely possible.

Just be there. Listen when she wants to talk, give her safety and something to smile about when she doesn't, and don't try to push either one. Just being available is the biggest thing you can do. Encourage her to eat at your house (it lets her know you care about her eating) but never, ever let it become an arguing issue or try to force it, since, unlike a parent she doesn't have to see you, you have a lot less leeway. Take her struggles seriously with her, and if she becomes in true danger you'll have to step in some way, but, also remember that as much as we hear the horror stories (and people on this board experience them) many teens go through stages like this (often without parents seeing it). With love and stability some really do turn out to just be stages. Especially at 13. I knew two girls who starved/purged themselves periodically between ages 13-15. Yes, they had EDs by the technical meaning and they were suffering, but, neither had access to psychological help due to abusive parents, and both were using it as a coping mechanism for that abuse. As they grew older they found other ways to cope. You can't belittle her situation, because it COULD be one of the horror stories, but just try to remember that not every case turns into that and many teens never get professional treatment and still come through. Motivation makes a big difference. She isn't doing this with the specific intent of getting skinny, which is what most of the very severe cases are doing. She's doing this to get rid of bad stuff in her head, she's doing it for control, which is the same reason these friends did it. That makes it a different situation. Still dangerous, but, different potential options to help her. Helping with realistic body image wont help her since that's not her reason. However, helping her feel in control of her life and helping her find coping methods to deal with the bad things in her head would help her a lot more. 13-15 is a very hard age for kids coming from bad homes, because we lose the acceptance that our parents are perfect, but we have no independence of our own yet. Often these kids level out once they can go out alone and get into the adult world. If they don't lose it completely before they get there, they tend to be awesome 18 year olds. One thing to watch for, her reason for not eating, because it makes her mind blurry and the bad stuff goes away, That is the reason some alcoholics drink. Many alcoholics who have been through something bad use the alcohol to make the bad things shut up. She is using not eating in the same way they use alcohol, to control it, to give herself rest. If she went to a doctor they could probably give her a tranquillising/sedative medication to serve the same purpose, but (in theory) more safely, but that comes with it's own risks and I don't know how that works legally for her in this situation. If she has a crunchy mother though, she will be 100% anti meds, so that might take it off the table. So, then. What else can help the bad stuff shut up? Does anything positive help it? Does the bad stuff go away whens he exercises? does something she loves? craft and drawing? Anything? Al the doctors would do is give her a medication substitute, so, can you find a safe substitute yourselves, or even a slightly less-bad substitute, things which aren't great but are better than the risks of an ED at this age (she is at a prime age to stunt her own growth, which could end up being something she regrets sorely later on, one of the girls mentioned above does). I'm leaving the self harm alone because I don't think it's nearly as dangerous or horrific as the general public seems to. I regret a lot of things from my past, but the self harm wasn't one of them. It's NOT good, but, I needed to cope somehow, and without medical or support options, self harm got me through the day, and my life was never at risk from it. You can't take away every method of coping without giving one back, and at the time there were no other coping methods open to me, I was trapped in my situation and too young to do much about it. I naturally stopped self harming when my life moved on and I was able to get help elsewhere. Most of us did. It creates a visceral reaction in people who have never done it, but if it's superficial, honestly, this is an unpopular opinion but I would leave it alone. Don't ALLOW it, by any means. Show sadness and worry about it, the goal is to be totally healthy of course. But I wouldn't push the issue with it. If it ends up a choice between ED and SI (and at first it very well may do), you want her to choose the SI, for young females it's the safer of the two by far. Also, that bad stuff, do you know what it is? No need to share, but, if you don't know, see if she will talk about it. When she wants to talk, lead the conversation there. Often people with bad stuff in their head need to 'process' it. For many, that looks like talking about it, writing about it, actually letting their mind sit on it for awhile rather than forever ignoring it. That's often all a psychologist does! (well, that and teach coping methods, but if you already have those covered.... can you tell I don't like psychs much?). It could be that just talking in depth about the bad stuff will help it resolve and start to go away. It could also make it worse, for some kids it does. But, suggest it, and take her cues. For me, it helped immensely, whenever a thought just will not go away from my mind I know I need to talk it out or write about it. I don't have medical knowledge, just a lot of knowledge of my own life and the lives of a half dozen troubled teens. My opinion isn't popular and isn't the one you'll hear from most 'normal' types. I'll probably get flamed for this post. I just know what helped me and helped my friends. Not everyone can go to the therapist and get better the 'socially acceptable' way.

Yeah no... my mum homeschooled me, did activities with me, played games with me, all the 'right stuff' She also ignored my self harm in between bouts of yelling at me for it, ignored me being sexually abused and when I said I was suicidal she told me she would miss me but wouldn't blame herself and would be able to cope without me. She hit me, denied me medical care, and alienated me from everyone who could have helped me. But, we had a family games night every saturday night, so obviously she was a loving mom and if someone had just talked to her about my issues it all would have been ok and no one should have stepped in, right? Just because a mother works out with her daughter doesn't mean 'shes a loving mom'. My mother was apparently a loving mom according to everyone else, people admired her for homeschooling me and all the stuff she did, which is why it took until I was 24 to even be able to recognise her behaviour as unusual or in any way neglectful. That's why it never even occurred to me to tell anyone else what she did, never entered my mind to consider it, because the world told me how lucky I was to have such an awesome mom. And when I did inadvertently let something slip, people dismissed it, assumed such a wonderful mother must have it under control or have more to the story I wasn't saying. People wouldn't consider undermining my mother even if they knew I was self harming or, in one case, even knew the sexual abuse was occurring. IMO, it is absolutely the OP's business to help a child who's parents aren't helping her. As to the OP, obviously the parent should be the first attempt at help. She has been informed of the situation by the daughter right? You can't go behind her back without giving her the chance to step in. But it sounds like she wont, it's all the daughters fault for not being crunchy enough.... I can't help with the legal stuff, laws change between different countries, and privacy/duty of care for teenagers is tricky. Therapy sounds like a good idea, but is complicated without parental involvement, especially with no school access. But, the absolute best thing you can do is be her safe place. Be the person she knows will listen and understand, the place she can let it all out and know she's safe and loved. Often (not always obviously) teens work through this stuff themselves, if they're given a safe place and someone to act as a sounding board who doesn't turn around and blame them for their struggles. I still remember the safe people who got me through my teenage years, most of them have no idea how bad it actually was, but having those safe places and safe people meant everything to me. I often went there during crisis, and I didn't necessarily tell the person, sometimes I just needed a bit of 'normal' time to cool off, I didn't want to talk or explain or even think, I just wanted to be safe and a little happy for awhile, they gave me that without ever realising how vital that is. One friends mother in particular seemed to take all of us troubled teens in, she was amazing. With the hindsight of adulthood she almost created this support group for teens at her house, but no one ever talked therapy or anything, it wasn't ever thought of or spoken about in that way, ever. But it was the safe place for about half a dozen kids and we all sort of grew up together and did life together, and she gave us an environment outside of our difficult homes for that, and supervised it in a totally hands-off, cool way. She gave us somewhere to be other than causing trouble around the streets, and I am forever thankful for that. Never underestimate the importance of a safe place and safe adult, and while I know you want to help her and should see what you can do to help her, make sure that doesn't become so overbearing that you become unsafe while she's in crisis either. During the worst moments, someone who insists on ER trips and therapy and help is often seen as the least safe person of all. The group of kids I spoke about above, one of the other parents was a halfway decent person, however, at the slightest mention of trouble or, heaven forbid, self harm, she was all about the psychologists and hospital and medication. We never, ever spoke to her about anything, and we never spent time at her house because, for some of us with our home situations as they were, it was potentially downright dangerous if she saw some self harm scars or heard word of something happening. The backlash at home would have been far beyond anything i did to myself and the effect of it more damaging than my mindset at the time.

3 I can think of quickly. I don't know about 'self identified' liberals, I wasn't debating that part, only talking about the fact there are some people out there who believe hijabs are different to christian coverings and that muslim coverings are more acceptable. I don't set out to talk to them. But one of these people is my (definitely liberal) step mother, another attends my church (neither liberal nor conservative, but is very pro-muslim), so I can't very well avoid them completely either. Most of the rest of my family hates my covering too, but they also hate muslims so at least they're consistent in being wrong :glare:

No, they don't love the hijab. But when I point out their criticism, they tell me the hijab is different, and my covering is not 'ok' in the same way the hijab is because it's not cultural and the majority church doesn't do it. The hijab is 'different' apparently. I have literally been told the hijab is ok but my veil is not. They are people who are outspoken in support of muslims (a common conversational topic these days with trump and other drama) even while making snide comments or open criticisms of my coverings.

Despite the fact that in my personal lived experience, I've encountered multiple women like this, and also never seen a mass media article referencing christian coverings at all, much less sympathising with them over Muslims. Yes, definitely just the media.... :glare:

I cover as a Christian, and yes I do think there's a double standard. Women who would avidly defend the right of women to wear hijab's have criticised me and made negative comments toward my covering, occasionally quite aggressively. I live in an area with a large Muslim population and I find I get stared at more than they do (even by the Muslims themselves at times!). I don't believe the Christian covering is a modesty thing. The bible talks about headship and symbolism, not modesty. I will uncover my hair around men in a private setting (dinner in someones home etc) and be covered in public among women-only, so, it's definitely not a modesty thing to my interpretation (no offence to the other ladies if it is for them of course). And of course many women only cover during church services, so there's no modesty factor there at all. However the Muslim covering is entirely modesty-based and covering up, so, for me, there's a huge difference in the coverings and what their purpose and symbolism is. One which is lost on the general public obviously since even in this thread it's become a modesty discussion. But you'll notice many Christian coverings cover far less than the hijab, and many women, myself included, let their hair hang out the bottom rather than wearing a bun. I think the double standard is because of culture, they dismiss the Muslim covering as cultural (which is, imo, offensive to the people who take it very seriously religiously). But since the mainstream Christian church doesn't cover, anyone who does is extreme and legalistic and scary, or, alternatively, can make the other person feel convicted that they aren't practising their faith 'strongly enough' (most of us don't actually believe that, but our very presence seems to create feelings of inadequacy in some women, I've had women become extremely defensive when I've said nothing at all) It's frustrating, and sad, but I just try not to think about it or ever speak about it anymore.

I'm having trouble getting google to present me with American results, maybe it's less popular there? This is the Australian store I use, for reference, and it has some information there. http://www.rihac.com.au/index.php Here's an American site, they seem to sell printers with the CISS system pre-installed, which doesn't seem particularly cost effective, but if you go to the sidebar and just click CISS you'll find the individual units you can install yourself. http://www.inksystem.com/ciss/ Here are two informative 'what is CISS' pages, however their shop pages are for Europe and the Philippines respectively, so you can't buy from them. It's odd to have so much trouble finding American websites, do the printer companies perhaps have some sort of legal ban on DIY CISS systems there or something??? That sounds like something American companies would do lol. http://cissmarket.com/blog/eu/2011/05/what-is-ciss/ http://www.ink.com.ph/how-printer-ciss-works I don't know if there's better websites in the US for buying them, you'll have to look from a US computer. Do note though, that you can't just buy the $10 'works with every printer' system off amazon, it wont work. There are different systems for different series of printers, for good reason. In my experience in my country, a CISS system plus ink will cost the same as 2-3 cartridges up front, but, it will do the printing of 20 or 30, so it's an investment but definitely paid off for us. Also, drjuliadc, yes you need to print regularly enough that things don't try out. I print for my business and my homeschooling records (including colour photos) weekly, so that's not a concern for us, but it will dry out if you go too long between print jobs. The systems can be cleaned but if you're not a particularly techy person it's a pain. DH is an engineer, so that's helped lol. We pay a LOT more for our tech here, our dollars are similar but we generally pay twice the price for technology items 'because of freight' and other nonsense (we're closer to the production countries than America is!). But, I bought my printer for about $150 australian dollars, and the ink system WITH it's first batch of ink was $130 Australian dollars. http://www.rihac.com.au/product_info.php/j925dw-100ml-inklink-ciss-p-1077 I'd expect both of those costs to be half in US dollars, making it $75 and $65. I think even in your terms that would more than pay for itself quite quickly. We bought new ink about 18 months ago, which was $55 for me, for a full refill with two blacks I think. I've printed about 6000 pages since then, two thirds colour (and a good chunk of those in heavy block colour) and we're only just thinking of ordering ink again now. So, we're happy with it. Most other homeschooling or photo-crazy families i know have these systems, which is why i was caught by surprise that people here didn't know what they were, they're very popular among a certain subset of the population here.

lol, neither do I. Third party units can be fitted to plenty of cheap printers with traditional ink systems. We got a cheap printer on sale that we knew was compatible with the third party setups and just fitted that afterwards, works great.

Ok, so, obviously i have been totally spoiled with my Continuous Ink Supply System printer, ink costs are negligible for me and most other families I know use them too. I guess I'd thought the worry about ink costs was fairly obsolete among homeschooling families these days with options like CISS and hadn't heard anyone limited by ink cost in a very long time. I can see that's not the case and my little bubble of friends must actually be unusual with our modified setups. It's funny when you don't know you're outside the normal until you make a big assumption like that and then get a reality check! I just printed for the new school year about 2000 pages of workbooks I've scanned in previously, most of which were full colour, and due to my printer ink cost wasn't even a factor (of course it cost something, but, maybe $20?) I didn't realise how far outside the norm that was even now and among heavy print users. Well, back to the drawing board I suppose!

My kiddos love worksheets, love them to bits. And i've taken to making some on my own, things like cutting and pasting, tracing (non-letter sheets, tracing shapes and stuff) and puzzles. I began to wonder if there's any market for making these sheets a little more professional and selling them as ebooks. Bright and colourful but not 'busy' like common store books, focusing on a specific motor skill or early learning activity. Continuing to use cutting as my example they would be rather like the schoolsparks sheets. (http://www.schoolsparks.com/kindergarten-worksheets/category/cutting-worksheets) or like these sparklebox sheets (http://www.sparklebox.co.uk/topic/creative-arts/art-and-design/craft-activities.html) It's all stuff people could make on their own if they wanted, but, most people don't have the time or patience, so I'm selling my time/work rather than skill, to people who want a quick open and go solution. I know there are great books out there, like the Kumon books which are amazing. But my kids will beg to do 4 or 5 cutting pages in a session, and to do a session daily! When there's only 40 activities per book, that doesn't last long, and while each book is cheap the cost adds up quickly if you're buying a dozen of them! I know there are big books of worksheets around, but, none of them have worked for my family so I wonder if they mightn't work for others either. The 'big book' ones from the store are very busy and unfocused and my kids end up scribbling on them because they're overwhelmed by the page or because they're skipping from one activity to another each page. Schoolsparks, which I linked above, has amazing worksheets, colourful while un-busy, lots of white space, but they're only selling their book in hard copy which rules out overseas customers, and at their price point ($32) you'd want to scan them in, which, sure, they've done it with perforated edges, but it still involves tearing it all out and scanning it and then what was the point of buying their book (the worksheets are free online but you have to click past their advert every time for each individual sheet). Plus, I wouldn't use their math or reading sheets, and they only sell it as a complete set, making it even worse value. And I know there are worksheets and worksheet ebooks out there on teacher websites and kids websites and even etsy, but printing out dozens of single sheets is time consuming and tedious, and the books tend to be a small 20-30 sheet compilation of random sheets which might have the same skill but show very little connection and no progression and usually look cheap and thrown together. Or, like sparklebox linked above, great activities but each pdf is 1-6 activities, so time consuming and tedious and, to me, frustrating. Plus they're all at the same level, no gradual movement in difficulty. So am i the only one looking for something more or would there be a market for this sort of thing? I'm thinking sizable ebooks, maybe 80-100 worksheets for basic activities, or 40-50 worksheets for more involved ones. A simple clear objective focusing on one or two skills, nice clean pages, but with lots of colour in the activity itself like the above linked sheets, and gradual progression, kumon style, rather than all sheets at the same level. Also, marketed specifically to homeschoolers, not through teacher worksheet websites (though putting them there in addition is not out of the question) This wouldn't suit everyone's teaching style obviously, I know a lot of you don't do these sorts of worksheets, but if you've used things like Kumon or know others who do, let me know what you think, would you buy this, or know people who would buy this? Is there enough other reputable stuff around that you wouldn't bother and don't need it? How much would you pay for, say, 100 sheets of cutting activities ranging between the two levels I linked to above? I'm thinking around the $5 mark, and then adjusting the size of the book to suit, so maybe 100 cutting activities, but only 50 drawing activities or something. Is that too much? Too little? Could I get away with $10 for 100 sheets and still be appealing as an ebook?

Lol, nope, Australia. Just a little bit further out :lol: In fact, I don't think I could get any further if I tried! :laugh:

I am of the opinion our bodies, and especially women's bodies with our different hormones and baby stuff, are meant to take naps. It's the most natural thing for a mother to nap when her baby does in the afternoon, and my need for a nap didn't disappear when baby became toddler. Unfortunately I haven't been able to nap in the afternoons for about 6 months, this toddler is particularly troublesome, but with my older two I always laid down while they slept/had quiet time. It made me a much happier, nicer person to be around in the late afternoon/evening, and i was more efficient. These afternoons I am awake because of current toddler, I really get nothing done, I'm too tired and end up waiting for a second wind to hit around 4pm. Better to have a nap at 1 and wake up refreshed at 2, those hours between 2 and 4 will be far more productive than the non nap hours between 1 and 4, extra time awake means nothing if you can't do anything with it. On top of that, I tend to be able to stay up later if I've had a nap so I make the sleeping hour up in nighttime productiveness too.

I have always hired local ladies to help, as opposed to an agency. In my experience an agency has a set list of things they do and won't deviate. I've found by hiring local ladies, often SAHMs looking to make a little extra money or older women who haven't re-entered the workforce, that they are far more flexible. I have our usual weekly schedule (kitchen clean, bathroom clean, vacuum and mop) but that with an independent person one week I can ask for help cleaning out and re-organising the pantry, and the next week we've fallen terribly behind and I can ask her to catch up on dishes and help get some laundry through. I have someone come for 3 hours once a week. About an hour and a half is spent on the regular jobs, another half hour on some sort of regular deep clean (shower one week, oven another week, cobwebs the next, vacuuming under couches etc the next) and the final hour is flexible to whatever I need that week. It works well for me. Of course, there's a trust factor, an agency has all the official stuff behind them. But i feel safer with a local lady even without all that paperwork.

Because of my mental health, we factor in a cleaning lady as a necessary bill in our budget. It makes such a drastic difference, it's absolutely a need for our family and situation (both DH and I have chronic conditions, plus I'm legally blind). 2-3 hours a week for the past 4 years. I get into a cycle, the mess is overwhelming and I mentally shut down and can't clean it (or do anything else!). I function a lot better and am a lot more stable if I am in a clean environment, but, once it hits a certain tipping point I can't keep it clean. Having someone break the cycle once a week is a big deal. And even knowing someone WILL break the cycle in a day or two helps me to remain productive when things are messy and I would have otherwise shut down. The only thing that helps me with the guilt is having something busy-looking to do while she is here. My biggest guilt issue is the lady herself judging me (silly I know, since it's her livelihood!). Sitting at the computer doesn't cut it. So we either do sit-down schoolwork or a big busy project or an organising job or something. Save your nesting until cleaning day, it might help.

bump?

Yeah, it's been a thing for as long as I can remember, but I'm a youngin'. I've heard from older relatives that it wasn't a widespread celebration until quite recently. Wikipedia tells me this It was not until 1935 that all Australian states and territories had adopted use of the term "Australia Day" to mark the date, and not until 1994 that the date was consistently marked by a public holiday on that day by all states and territories.[5]

Edited to add - apparently my command of the english language went out the window for this post. Just pretend i was eloquent lol, I'm running on caffeine and adrenaline today Yep, wow, we sound so similar! I LOVE planning, but suck at follow through. Can't stand the day to day monotony of the same boring thing. I can't handle doing the work for all the fabulous things I plan in my head. Anyone want someone to plan your homeschool for you, so YOU can do it? Call me! First year homeschooling I spent forever creating a beautiful plan, but I just couldn't do the day to day work, I hated it, it was boring! I work FAR better with a block schedule, I love to get in deep to a topic, obsess over it, hyper-focus, then drop it once I'm done/bored and move on. 30 minutes a day on 8 different subjects was torture to me growing up, I never had time to get interested, and subjects continued long after I got bored. it was drudgery every day. I fared much better in high school when I worked myself into a routine of one subject per day, for 5 or 6 hours, rather than an hour of each. But I do love to learn, I just hate being forced to learn things I'm not interested in. This year I began taking some university courses in sociology, they make so much sense to me. No career plan, just interest. I also run a part time business from home which makes me happy, planning and organising and creating it has been great. Weekly upkeep... well, it usually happens.... lol. Like you, I find myself doing running commentary whenever we're out and about and often at home too. I could list a dozen deeply discussed subject this week which were off the cuff topics which came up in life, more than surpassing a single week of a science curriculum.. But our single planned science project? I'm dragging my feet so badly. I also really value independence. Like you, I think my kids are capable of a lot more than the world expect of them right now, and I want to know what my little ones think and know. Your whole second paragraph could have been describing me. I want them to be capable little people in their own right, even now at their ages, with their own thoughts and knowledge and ideas and feelings. Eldest can do a number of things independently and I intend to work myself into a role eventually where I am mentor, discussion partner and devils advocate, rather than teacher. I have no intention of sitting beside her while she does math in high school, but I'll discuss science for hours, and I'll do the big projects on the weekends instead of just talking about them like my parents did. I definitely think my kids most difficult qualities now will become their greatest assets later. That was my mantra, and I literally used to repeat it to myself daily, when eldest was 2 and decided she would not be sleeping that night, and at midnight would still be sitting, awake, on her bed, singing to herself and playing tea parties in the dark. Stubbornness will become determination. right?! RIGHT?!?! I think we have our groove this year. Math is tedious and daily repetitive work that I hate, but, it's my favourite subject in theory, so I have pulled together resources from a dozen different places, it keeps me interested, and IMHO is more thorough than any of the programs done completely would be. Phonics is hard. I don't have much patience for it or for those days where a child suddenly forgets the alphabet. But now eldest is reading we're enjoying talking about what she reads, and she will be far more independent. She has a short, get it done spelling curric because I know I couldn't do anything more, and writing I am teaching from my own mind through practical use, right now writing a sentence or two about her reading books as she finishes them, but into the future I see writing being very important to our school. Then, for ALL the other subjects, I'm doing two things. The first is lots and lots of assigned reading, about all sorts of things, every topic, and then discussing books, discussing what's learned. Some books I'll read in tandem, other books they'll read alone and tell me about. But this, alongside math and writing, is the core of our homeschooling, a big, interesting, fascinating and varied reading list, some life experiences and trips and documentaries and museums and stuff, and lots of discussions about anything and everything. But since reading isn't the be-all and end-all and some things are better done hands on, the second is intensives. Essentially short, one to two week, studies. Some I have planned, others are open for topics of interest through the year. Some are a single subject, others are cross curricular. But I figure it'll all balance itself out. By focusing on a single subject for a week or two we can go deep without it dragging on, short and sweet but detailed, since our only other subjects are english, math and reading, we have plenty of time to spend a couple of hours a day on our intensive if we choose. For me, I will learn a lot more, with more enthusiasm, from a week of two hours per day than I will from 10 weeks of an hour per week. Tjen lots and lots of free afternoon time for independent and constructive activities. Hobbies, skills, interests, all very important to me. Of course, now I just have to pray my kids learn the way I do! But, since a big focus for me is independence, even if they don't we can probably find a solution which suits them without being too draining on me. It looks like our actual day to day schooling looks a bit different, but the themes of independence, reading, discussion and flexibility for sudden interests while still having a solid plan behind it are the same.

I've seen this myers-briggs personality stuff around a lot, but never put much stock in it. In my case, I couldn't see the personality behind my PTSD. I did the test, but, everything was changed or clouded by my trauma. Anyway, this week I was inspired to try again, and I am most definitely ENTP. Apparently an unusual type, and particularly unusual for women, but, nonetheless, I read all the other descriptions and looked at multiple tests, this is DEFINITELY the one which fits me best (though, with a few oddities still brought on by the trauma and PTSD... but being able to identify those separately is actually helpful. I can now see contradictions in myself quite clearly, brought on by mental health struggles) So is anyone else this type, and can you tell me about what works for you in homeschooling? I think I've finally found my groove this year, curious to see if it matches others because it's vastly different to the common and normal approaches. Then again, looking at the typing, we're problem solvers and our methods are usually unusual, so, approaches might actually look vastly different depending on the 'problems' we each need to solve in our families situations.

OP, you remind me a lot of myself 5 years ago. Seriously. I began lurking on these forums when I got engaged lol. I got most of the same advice you're getting here. If I'm honest? I ignored all of it! Some I should have listened to, and have taken seriously later on as needed. Other bits I still think are biased. People are all about taking risks and 'you only live once' when it comes to travel or jobs, but suggest that you're going to settle down into marriage and being at home without a college degree (which many people don't have) and horror ensues. If you see my post in the spin off thread, I pretty much got my dream, lots of kids, homeschooling, DH at home and highly involved, living life and enjoying experiences rather than keeping up with the Jones's and climbing the career ladder. I am homeschooling, working from home, studying for leisure and still putting the from scratch meal on the table each night. The dream is possible! If you want to talk more about what that looks like and how I make that stuff work, PM me. I've found talking about the successes tends to upset and offend people who try to make comparison unreasonably and think I am somehow judging them, so I don't tend to talk about what works for me publicly anymore. But be prepared for the roadblocks, and they will come. Don't expect it to happen without hiccups. I had hyperemesis with each pregnancy, two ectopic pregnancies and hence a large gap between youngest and our much prayed for next baby. DH is home a lot but it's due to chronic illness, not a nice financially sound plan. We do live in a low income but we do so happily, we have everything we need, we don't want the latest iphone or store bought clothes. We live lots of experiences without lots of money, and enjoy being present in the moment in life. In fact I think low income makes that easier. But, some weeks we do struggle since both of our incomes are variable. We live paycheck to paycheck and sometimes we struggle to buy groceries or need to wait a month or two to buy 'essential' items. So the learned from tips? - Stay out of debt. Your marriage will be better for it. The stress relief that being debt free brings is amazing. We've had periods of both, right now we're in a little debt due to unforeseen circumstances, and the difference is massive. - Stay flexible, you don't know what's around the corner, and life has a way of throwing curveballs. But often, those curveballs will actually get you exactly where you wanted to be or should have been but didn't know it. Without the illness, DH probably never would have come home. And the experience of my two ectopic pregnancies has changed me and my family in ways I am beginning to see the positives of. - Live for now, not the future. I spent a lot of time reading and dreaming of one day and feeling like I was in this period of waiting. That period of waiting was torture, like I wasn't really living yet, I was just waiting to arrive and waiting to begin. Some of that is normal, you're probably feeling it while preparing for your wedding. But once you're married, it's unhealthy and damaging to just be in a state of waiting and dreaming for your first baby or waiting and dreaming of homeschooling, believe me. You need to live the life you have this month, and when that comes you'll get to live that too, but, don't become so focused on the future that you have no desires or goals for right now. In the future you'll be unable to take hobby classes, but that doesn't mean you can't right now. In the future you'll do x and y, but, those things can wait until then, right now you might do z and that's totally ok. Don't waste years dreaming and preparing for the future, live the life you have right now as well, go out and enjoy it. - Find things you love, hobbies, studies, activities, whatever, but find things you love and enjoy and do them. You never know what they might turn into. For me they turned into business ideas, and skills that helped my family in the most unexpected of ways. Don't lose yourself in your future children. - Let yourself dream and ignore the naysayers a bit. The advice here on this board has been pretty balanced mostly. But in life it likely isn't. Live your life, don't worry too much what they think of you. What you're choosing to do is fairly counter cultural these days, it scares and angers people. Don't internalise that. - Did I mention live for now? :lol: Really, please don't lose the next few years to planning and dreaming, you'll regret it. Planning is great, dreaming is great, but, just because you will or wont do something in 5 years doesn't mean you should or shouldn't do it now. Go live your current life, don't get so stuck in the future you forget the present. I am a planner, I fell into this trap and I really regret it. Instead of going out and doing something while youngest was a baby, I kept thinking 'well I can't do that with 3 kids or 5 kids so I shouldn't do it with just one kid because the others will miss out'. Don't worry, the others will get their own unique experiences. I never pursued hobbies when I was childless because I knew I couldn't continue them with kids, and because I was so busy planning what education the kids would get and how I would raise them that studying and planning took all my time. Those plans are out the window and I sorely regret the lost time.

I pretty much got exactly what I wanted actually, and I feel so amazingly blessed for it. I wanted to marry young, have lots of kids, definitely homeschool (non negotiable for me), have my husband work from home at least some of the time and be an active involved father, and focus on living life and having experiences, rather than keeping up with the Jones's and climbing the corporate ladder. I basically got all that, or am in the process as far as lots of kids goes. I'm 25, with three kids, and finally 'really' homeschooling a 1st grader (after being put down as not really homeschooling for quite a few years). I'm also studying at university part time, and run a fairly successful part time business from home, all the while cooking healthy meals from scratch, the whole shebang. But, I definitely had roadblocks, the plan didn't happen as painlessly as intended. I have a severe mental illness but I already had that before marriage and had factored it into the plans. I suffered hyperemesis with each pregnancy, and have had two ectopic pregnancies, hence the large gap between youngest and a much prayed for future baby. My husband ended up coming home, not because he had a great plan in place to work from home, but because he was finally diagnosed with a chronic illness and will never be able to work full time (or at least not without, essentially, giving up on being a part of the family at all due to it taking ALL of his energy). I also get help, we have family come in to clean once a week, and since I am working and studying I only teach school half of the week, DH teaches the other half. The dream can be done, it's just hard work. We've had a lot of roadblocks, but I wouldn't trade this for anything.

Yep, definitely. I too see curriculum as resources, not as a specific planned course. So, my math is cobbled together from like 100 books (well, maybe not quite... lol), a page of this and a page of that. Time consuming? Yes. But I love our course and my plans for future years with it. I'm a very confident writer, so, I'm teaching that entirely from my own mind, through frequent short writing assignments right now. I may pick up Writing Strands at some point as that's what I used as a kid, and it'll make sure I don't miss anything, but, even that's a resource, a prompt, not a curriculum to me. I definitely wouldn't consider any of the big involved ones because I just don't feel I need it. Handwriting I have a workbook for, for simplicity, but I'm not following any of the guides, just using the pre-made sheets, and I have a heap of other motor skill resources like mazes and drawing and stuff which I add into our handwriting. I do have a spelling curriculum as I never learned formal phonics or rules and would like a backup. I'm teaching basic grammar myself then will use an intensive course in middle school to handle the details (analytical grammar). And the content subjects are totally from my own mind right now. By the time they begin to hit the limits of general knowledge and quick internet searches, they'll be in 4th or 5th and more than ready to begin learning directly from books, at which point we will switch to big reading lists, no curriculum, just goals and what I want them to learn and then good interesting books for them and projects/essays/stuff. I dislike the turn I've seen toward homeschoolers themselves feeling like they need a professional to tell them how to teach and what to teach and when to teach it. It didn't used to be like that. Of course you can teach your kids from your own knowledge, especially at this age, and by the time you can't anymore there's plenty of options outside of formal curriculum