Jump to content

Menu

Rose in BC

Members
  • Posts

    2,417
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    30

Everything posted by Rose in BC

  1. I am seriously considering this because we eat a lot, however milk isn't cheap where I live so I'm wondering if it really is a cost saver? I do consider the health benefits as well. This is important for me. I mean I grind my own wheat, bake my own bread . . . is homemade yogurt next?
  2. This happens so infrequently that when it does it's very noticeable.
  3. It closed about a year ago. While it was here we would go three or four times a year. It had to be a really good movie though because with a babysitter a movie night would be fifty bucks. Now we have to travel an hour down the road so thus far this year we've only gone to see Prince Caspian. We might see one more movie this year. Otherwise it's dvd's for us.
  4. Our first inkling of this addition of our family came January 30, 2000. It was a crazy day. Our basset hound had been vomiting all day long. Combine constant mopping the floors with an active three year old and by the afternoon I was done. I was just getting ready to have a cup of coffee when the phone rang. I noticed from the call display that it was our daughter’s birth-grandparents (we have an open adoption). Inside my mind was thinking, if they’re calling to try and get her back there’s no way that’s happening (slightly irrational but always a thought in those early years). Anyway I answered. After some pleasantries Grandpa blurted out “would you be interested in adopting a small boyâ€. Well, truthfully, even though we had suffered with infertility and investigated many adoption avenues we never thought of adopting an older child from within our own province. My initial response was “tell me moreâ€. “Wellâ€, he continues, “we have had this little boy’s sister in our care (foster) since she was born and we have decided to adopt her†(she was 7ish at that time). He went on to say that social services asked them to consider adopting this girl’s brother who was in foster care elsewhere at the time. He told them that they were getting on age and the only reason they were adopting this little girl is because they have always parented her. “But a couple in the north adopted our grand daughter. Perhaps they would be willing.†After his call we agreed that we would consider it. That was the beginning of a somewhat crazy journey. The first call I made to our local social service requesting an “adopt a specific child form†resulted in a no. “No, we have no adoption worker in the north presently.†Well no did not sit well for me. Here we were willing to adopt an older, special needs child and the government was going to say no, we have no worker? To shorten a long story, after three months of advocating (pleading actually), social services sent a worker into our town to work on the adoption process. A marathon home study followed. July 2000 the three of us packed up to drive the 18 hrs to go meet our new son. He was such a happy go lucky little guy (tiny compared to our daughter of the same age). His foster family did such a terrific job of preparing him and welcoming us, we still have a relationship with them. It was a huge time of adjustment. We had only parented a daughter at that point and boys and girls are very much different. Many times I’d phone my sister, with three boys, to say “he’s doing such and such†to which she’d respond, “normalâ€. He was very active and had a short attention span. We had to have a lot of patience in those early days. Now it’s eight years later and I can’t imagine our life or family without him. It’s not always easy, but parenting isn’t easy. We just see how God protected him in so many ways in his early years and how he’s growing into a strong healthy young man (with a huge appetite). He no longer is tiny compared to his sister. Sometimes we marvel at things like the picture we have of our son’s birth-sister (adopted by our daughter’s grandparents) holding our 2 day old daughter before we adopted her and I think it’s unbelievable the connections we have. (Actually sometimes I think it sounds like a soap opera!) We spent so many years childless it was a miracle to now have two children. In November I'll conclude my adoption saga stories with the story of our youngest, who came to us a year after we brought our oldest son home. Happy birthday to my handsome, young man!
  5. I know that dogs are very much family members. It's very tough when they get sick and/or old. So sorry you need to go through this.
  6. We noticed this early in his life. There is a direct correlation with his consuming red (including cheesies, slushies, etc. etc.) and his behaviour. Fortunately he's old enough to even notice it himself . . . he says it makes him feel funny. We notice it fairly quickly. I'm not completely sure how long the whole thing lasts but I'd say a couple hours anyway. I know all these "allegations" come with some controversy but this is how it plays out in our child.
  7. I need to make four dozen muffins for tomorrow morning. Would it be best to get up early and bake them in the morning (which I know isn't a big deal but it's also my son's birthday tomorrow and I've got a lot of stuff surrounding that today and tomorrow) OR should I bake them today and freeze them? Or should I bake them today and will they still taste okay tomorrow morning? Any advice is appreciated.
  8. Pamela I know written text can sometimes be misinterpreted. I think most of the advice given tonight is excellent and is how I generally parent. It's tough though when you've got that extra special button pusher. Mine is incredibly bright and creative and we're at a point where 95% of the time we've got the kind of response we would expect but it's taken longer to get there than our other children. It can be tough some days. (I'm always thinking to myself when dealing with my child, "you might be stubborn but I'm stubborner" and that's why God blessed us with you.) And btw, I love, love, love my boy and see huge potential in him. He's just a tough nut to crack! lol! I think I'm reacting to this thread because we had one of those days today (and it's been awhile). It's good to have a place to hash out parenting ideas.
  9. I also know, from personal experience, that it's not easy with these especially strong willed children. It can suck the life out of you. I have noticed some patterns in my child. We usually have a cycle of incidents and then some time of peaceful compliance. I also notice that as he's aged the cycle of peaceful compliance is longer and his "positive response time" is improving. I also notice that when I haven't spent enough time with him the battle cycle happens more frequently. None the less it's tough. I am a strong person but this child of mine can really push my buttons. I am always consistent and always follow through with what I say. Some children just take longer to get that you're the boss. I guess I just wanted to let you know that while I agree with the comments made I also can empathize with dealing with a child with this personality and recognize how tiring and disheartening dealing with them can be. It does get better and our battles are shorter.
  10. I have always assumed some of these attributes were related to the fact that we adopted him at the age of four and prior to living with us he lived in a home where he was the king!! It is very difficult for us some days. I have spent alot of time praying for patience and praying for the wisdom not respond to this child (i.e. I try very hard not to respond to his cheeky responses, similiar to what you listed. He always has a response to make sure he's got the last word.) Last year I went to see Gordon Neufeld author of Hold on to your Kids (love this book btw) and decided to implement some of his ideas i.e. reinforcing attachment between my son and myself (not that it was missing but most definitely when he pushes my buttons I have to leave the space or I'd snap). So, now when he gets into one of his arguing modes I make him stay close by me until he snaps out of it. I think what these kids need is more attention even though their very behaviour makes you want to lock them up in their rooms. So they find attention inappropriately. I do see some improvement but he still thinks he knows everything and isn't afraid to vocalize it. I keep trying to model the appropriate responses (okay some days I'm a terrible model but I try.) I also limit my lecturing to him. I love to lecture (rant and rave) and I realize this isn't an effective parenting tool for any child but it's extremely ineffective with this personality type because they always have a come back. Interestingly, my child is also very intelligent and very creative. Maybe this personality combo results in these strong willed creatures. (Funny I have some strong willed tendencies as well so my mom thinks this is pay back time.) I'm sure this isn't a huge help but I just want you to know that I've btdt and I understand the frustrations.
  11. We have told our children that exclusive dating isn't something we would encourage until they finish high school. I have no problem with boys and girls participating in group activities together but I don't see the benefit of one on one dating at such a young age. We've talked this way to our kids their whole lives. I will say this is how I was raised myself so I know the first hand feelings my kids will have with this stance. But as an adult I'm happy my parents made this decision for us. I will also say I have one child in particular who will test us in this area probably more than the others. I recognize the feelings that are awakening in my older children and we talk about it with them. I would be hard pressed to let my 13yr old go with anyone else on vacation let alone with his girlfriend. These are my thoughts. It's a difficult topic because I realize the pressure kids face when it comes to dating/boyfriend-girlfriend issues.
  12. I have been thinking about you guys every day, too afraid to ask in case the news was bad. I'm so very happy for your family!!!
  13. You know after pondering these posts and the question itself I needed to add a few thoughts. The bible and the holy spirit are my moral compass. Of course, being raised in a home and being influenced by parents, their core values also shaped me. Sometimes negatively. Sometimes positively. Of course, living in a world and surrounded by the culture I am also shaped by these outside influences. Sometimes negatively. Sometimes positively. But because I love the Lord and have a relationship with him I am compelled to make decisions that I hope will glorify and honour him. Do I fail at this? Yes I do. Do I always make the best decision? No I don't. I don't because I am not God. But I use the bible to get to know who God is. I read the bible to learn of the character of God. Many of the stories in the bible are actually stories depicting how people make decisions that are not honouring to God and truly reflect God's mercy while dealing with imperfect human beings.
  14. The bible is an historical document meant to unfold God's plan from creation and outlines his plan of redemption. It is not meant to be read as a pick and choose document but in it's entirety.
  15. This happened to our family in March. Our two year old Bernese mountain dog was spooked and took off. I was sure she would wonder home quickly, but no. We searched all evening until dark. I went to bed sure she would be home in the morning. Nope. We searched all the next day (and when I say we I mean my family and many, many friends and strangers in our small town). Nothing. That night we talked as a family. I warned the children that likely she was gone forever, I mean two days had passed. As I despondently walked past the back door preparing to go to bed I decided to take one last peek out the door and screamed when I saw her leaning against the door. It was a true miracle. I will pray for this miracle for your family as I can feel the pain you are enduring tonight. My suggestion would be to get poster/fliers out in the morning, preferably with a photo. I also sent an e-mail to all my acquaintances (I live in a small town so my dog could have been anywhere in the whole town.) I was surprised that then my acquaintances fanned out my e-mail and many, many, people knew of her disappearance and were looking out for her. I am really, really sorry for your pain tonight.
  16. I tackled my boy's room. It had been haunting (or maybe taunting) me for weeks/months and I finally took the plunge. It took the better part of the day, several garbage bags later but I did it and was very happy with the results. For days I'd hear "mom I think you cleaned my room wrong"? (aka did you throw away my favourite . . . .). What a relief. Next the basement. Good luck with your project.
  17. And they have access to the yard to do their business in between those walks. We always clean up after them so the yard is still very usable.
  18. It's so motivating to have a big loss like that once in awhile (well I wished it could happen every week but I guess that's not always realistic).
  19. Congratulations -- you're definitely an inspiration showing us that it can be done.
×
×
  • Create New...