You have a lot of great ideas there, that will likely be very positive things for your son. I want to gently ask, though, do you really think he's lazy about this? Most kids really do want to succeed. I said what I did above, and this here, because I have a child like yours. Testing made a huge difference for me in how I work with this child. And it helped me see and understand a lot more of what was in front of me. What seemed like laziness was a disability mixed in with rigid thinking (lack of flexible thinking skills). My child could not succeed in the school system in the past, but with hard work and interventions (including FastForWord), I think my child could succeed now - with the caveat that the school would need to follow the IEP and allow for accommodations. And for what it is worth, the idea of a learning difference may feel scary, but we all learn differently. Finding a path to make learning less difficult isn't cheating, it's evening the playing field.

It sounds like the school cares about your son and it also sounds like they judge you a bit for his being behind. They say he didn't get enough support from you at home (and they say he is overly naive and immature - is he? Or are they seeing what they want to see when looking at a homeschooled kid?). I know nothing about your homeschool journey, so please don't be offended by this comment. Perhaps you were an unschooler who was even too busy to unschool and your son didn't get any reading instruction before this school (I don't think that is true, but it's possible). If your son really was behind because you didn't teach him, the interventions that were done would have caught him up if there wasn't an underlying reason he was having such a hard time learning to read. Now, say you did teach him - and it wasn't working. And now they've had a tutor AND done FastForWord. And he's still struggling. It means there is a learning difference there somewhere. Something is getting in the way of him succeeding. Maybe he needs a different style of tutor or intervention. Maybe he has a hearing issue. Maybe a vision issue. Maybe he's dyslexic. Are his naivete and social immaturity actually there, and part of a bigger picture? I have no idea. But SOMETHING is going on. He's bright and he's struggling. I'd look for why. Evaluations will help you see where to look and how to help. Have you looked into dyslexia? If they were using FastForWord - is this tutor the one from that program, or a different tutor? How often did he use the program and has he completed what the program thinks is all he can currently benefit from? If he was blind and unable to read, would he never be allowed into 4th grade too? It's not fair for a child who is mentally capable to be held back. I'd look into things like learningally to see if the textbooks are available on audiobook. There are all sorts of ways for dyslexic kids to move forward in their learning while remediating the reading. If he is dyslexic or not - if he is able to understand the material and it is only the reading in the way, that shouldn't keep him from moving forward.

We found it useful to ask questions about the practical side of things. What equipment might we need? What physical limitations should we expect 1)as treatment starts 2)long term. Also just having a bunch of change for the parking meters and something occupying but mindless to do in the waiting rooms is nice for those initial appointments. It really helped us to bring a notebook and write down everything the doctor says. It is hard to remember it all straight.

I believe it is unintentional, but when you equate your behaviours to such outcomes on your children (or anyone) you are making yourself more important that you are. Yes, what we do is important, but really, we are not as powerful as we sometimes think we are. This is spoken by someone who likes to ruminate on reasons for everything ad nauseum. I get where you are coming from. But I've found that I need to realize how very tiny I really am in the universe and how while I want to do the best I can in the circumstances I have, I am not in charge of how everyone around me turns out. And my power to truly influence these things is actually minuscule. I still believe that with the faith of a mustard seed, I can move a mountain... but I realize that I really am only working on the mustard seed level and that's okay.

I will second considering his breathing and if that might be affecting things. I had what appeared to be a panic attack - turned out it was the beginning of a respiratory infection which was making it so I couldn't breathe properly- and as soon as I took my inhaler I was fine. Now I am very proactive about that with any respiratory infection and it doesn't happen - but if I'm not proactive I start to feel off and I am reminded before it gets too far. As an aside - I was so mad when the nurse hotline told me and my husband that I needed to calm down and I'd be fine. I freaking couldn't breathe - on what planet is it easy to calm down when you feel like you are suffocating?

Warfare by Duct Tape is a popular one at our co-op. The guide tells how to make the equipment, and in the end the kids battle it out. Lego is also popular - the teachers give certain tasks for the kids to accomplish (one was building blindfolded- I thought that was an interesting/creative idea!).

The coloring really makes it work for my child. Spelling has improved a lot this year, and I *think* this program has been a good part of that. It helps make my child look more carefully at the words they read, and see the parts of words (otherwise my child is not a careful reader at all and although they love patterns has never seemed to look for or at patterns in how words are formed). So we're almost done with one year of it and I think it has been useful and good. We will use it again next year.

From my very limited understanding of dog breeding, it is pretty unusual for a serious breeder to have a litter and not have the dogs spoken for before they do it. I would pause and consider why someone would do that. As far as what breed, I think a miniature poodle would be a very good possibility for you. The Cav. King Charles or Papillion would be other good options.

Wow! I'm so sorry to hear about your ordeal! I hope once you get systems and medications in place life can get back to normal and it turns out to be quite manageable.

Here are a number of good resources for dealing with some of your challenges. Social Detectives What to do when your brain gets stuck Worry Dragons (I think you can still buy it from the publisher/author) Gordon Neufeld also has an anxiety video series which may be on youtube - I know it is available at our local library. I believe it was about 3 hours long and quite interesting. Some ideas were insightful, some I disagreed with, and for the most part it was full of encouragement and some good things to consider or change in our approach to challenges. It is noteworthy to remember that a "socially awkward" gifted child can become quite "socially capable" when they land in a peer group that truly suits them.

I am sure there is some truth to the idea that kids who hear less words would deal with the sounds less, but in our case one of the frustrating things about it all is that we literally did it all, way more than normal because words are one of my passions. It didn't matter. Or maybe it did matter, but it didn't alleviate the dyslexia. I believe that there are challenges of environment which do cause a lot of problems for a lot of kids, but dyslexia itself really is a different type of brain, so even a good environment doesn't "solve" the difference.

I'm not BlsdMama, but I can tell you my observations on the spelling thing. It seems, in our case, to be that the brain can't slow down to pay attention to the little words. It's the issue in reading and spelling. I think a lot of it has to to with the ease of moving things around in their mind's eye - the short words are easy to flip the letters around because they aren't big and anchored in a certain orientation. It's painful and ridiculous. My child could read and spell beautiful, but couldn't get the/girl/was spelled right consistently even if their life depended on it. So much of the issue is with the processing of sound - I hadn't realized how important sound is in reading. So I get the impression that if at all possible my child will purely memorize the order of spelling and letters, but not actually put the spelling together with the sounds that make the word. We've done a lot of remediation and there has been a lot of improvement, but the underlying circuitous route my child takes to getting the words read and/or spelled never goes away - they get faster, but they can't build a shortcut to the answer. ETA: As far as the OP goes, I totally agree. I think anyone who is selling a skill should be either good at it or have people around them who are good at it. I hope that as my child ages they will continue to be willing to use the things that will help them spell and read in a way that they can communicate clearly with others, and that they will have the self-confidence to not care about those who can't see past the problem to the person. And I sure hope this child doesn't try to sell a spelling or grammar curriculum, at least without someone else proofing it for them first! :)

I think Blackish and Fresh Off the Boat are both quite comparable to the old sitcoms.

Here's my OTT crunchy side coming out - have you considered trying letting your baby use the potty/toilet? Some kids really don't like to poop on themselves (or pee for that matter). You can hold them by their thighs and sit on the toilet with them between your legs/leaning against your chest and let them try to go. It worked GREAT with one of my babies. Once you do it a few times it isn't nearly as awkward, and it is much less messy than poopy diapers. Also, though, it is normal for them to go many days between poops when BF, especially if they are still thoroughly wetting numerous diapers each day. AND, IIRC, 4 weeks is one of the many early growth spurts, so there isn't much leftover for them to pass through at that stage - baby is using up all that goodness for growing.

Somehow, it has to become a routine. So, for the coats, can you be the first one in the door, then stand by the rack and wait to see that they put the coats where they belong? If they're disappearing or not doing it, you are there as it happens AND you don't tell them what to do, you remind them, "you are forgetting something" - so they have to think about what that is. It is really hard sometimes, but the more you can get them to think of it themselves (and not tell them), the more they get it in their brains and remember for themselves. And it should be easy to do. It should be easier to do the right thing (if possible), than to skip it or do the wrong thing. FWIW, we have a great system for shoes and jackets, and each child goes through a phase or two of trying to see if they can get away with not doing it. If I do it for them, the phase lasts way longer. If I draw them back out of their play to do it they tend to be better at remembering. So now, 9 1/2 times out of 10 my kids put their shoes and jackets where they belong without reminders. The other .5 times, I have to say something. For some things, it works best for us to have something desirable allowed after the task is completed. So, if my child wants to play a video game, they know their room must be clean first. Perhaps that type of if/then habit might help too.

I just read about a free app for dysgraphia and math. It's for apple stuff so I tuned out/forgot the name. ModMath perhaps? I'll hunt and see if I can dig it up. Yes, here it is. http://www.modmath.com/

Well, one way we have improved is I do not try to combine remediating a skill with something they love. I thought I was being all great mixing writing with history - yeah! They love it, so they'll be motivated! No - it made them hate history. Lesson learned! So now our skill type work is very separate and focused. Content and pace do not get held back by output skills.

You asked the million dollar question. Unfortunately, it's a moving target, that sweet spot, and we all just do our best to aim well and continue on. Is it possible that the areas of struggle your child that you are having a harder time with are areas that you somehow see struggle as a problem, whereas with your other child you saw the struggle as something workable? Maybe that sounds odd or overly obvious. For me and my perspective, I have two kids who are as different as night and day. They probably both qualify as 2e, although only one of them is diagnosed. For one of my kids, the difficulties are so much easier to accommodate in a simple or subtle way than they are for my other child. So, in my life, it is a lot easier to let the way we do life work and allow for my one child to grow and blossom, but for the other I have had to work very hard about being intentional about pushing and scaffolding and laying off and supporting, etc. It's much harder. I haven't regretted remediation, but I have regretted letting go of the favorite things to make room for the heavy focus. When I've realized how the joy was sucked out of learning, I stepped back and stopped the only remediation focus. Now, I try to be sure there are at least 2 things scheduled in our lives that build upon the strengths of or give joy to my biggest struggler. I also try to only focus on one aspect of remediation at a time. Then there is all the other stuff in life too, but it seems to be a decent balance for us - for now. I am sure it will change again.

Could you ask them to pay for food? Each situation would be different, but when you invite them, say "and I think $100 for food would be fair, or you could bring your own stuff" (or whatever amount seems right, depending on how long). When we go to a shared vacation place, we usually are given a shopping list by the one who runs the kitchen. I find it very hard to use her kitchen while she is there, so it is a lot easier to contribute food and/or $ and stay out of the way. We have some differences in dietary needs, but I just make sure I bring what we need for that and it doesn't go towards everyone's stuff. And we bring our own snacks/pop/junk.

If she likes cheesy little kid videos, Kai Lan is great for modelling upsets and emotional regulation (calm, calm, down!). :) This series is very good. I have not "used" the anger book, but the others I've made use of have been very well made. http://www.amazon.com/What-When-Your-Temper-Flares/dp/1433801345/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1461383048&sr=8-2&keywords=anger+management+for+kids FWIW on the book, it really depends on your 5yo if it will be useful for them or more useful for you in framing conversations about the struggles with her.

Simply Charlotte Mason has nice copybooks (and other things). FWIW, I think you should just use whatever you want for narration/discussion/etc. - just do it verbally - and work on the lagging skills separately from the thinking.

Hanna Andersson has a number of good options, although they cost an arm and a leg. If you have an outlet near you there are often good deals on out of season women's stuff. http://www.hannaandersson.com/category.aspx?id=women_sleepwear+%26+lounge

:Hugs I'm sorry your dog passed away. It's heartening that she had a good last day with you and was able to go peacefully. It is a relief not to have to be the one making the decision about that too. But more hugs too. Goodbyes are rough.

I had a problem with this. I had to get the Kill App app. It's free. http://www.amazon.com/Pixatel-App-Killer/dp/B0075BJCHE/ref=sr_1_3?s=mobile-apps&ie=UTF8&qid=1460959215&sr=1-3&keywords=kill+apps I was able to find out which apps were turning themselves on randomly and sucking memory. I am now able to either erase them or just kill them on a regular basis. It totally sped things up and made everything better. ETA: of course, this will not help if you are sure that nothing is running. I was surprised by what was turning itself on and not shutting off.

Good that they changed the format back. I thought it was a terrible idea when they did it. Ruined the flexibility. IG or no, Sonlight has a lot of great books to enjoy with your kids. And, FWIW, while they do have questions to discuss, I found that if I scanned the questions beforehand when I felt the need, and just discussed what we were reading as we went along, it went very well. No need to really sit there with a binder of questions for most of the books. Some we did and I thought it was useful, but mostly not. Also, the usefulness of the questions really vary by book and level.