In my experience.. someone will contact the poster, say "I need it" and then will turn around and sell it.

LOL most of you must think I am awfully fussy! This is it exactly. A 30 mile/45 minute drive after driving all day, to and from rehearsal dinner, then again the next day for the wedding... missing out on the late-night hanging out together. That's what makes me a little sad. And sure, we could just say no. We want to go; if we didn't care about missing it I wouldn't be sad about it. I'd send a gift and call it good. At this point I'm leaning toward taking my daughter and flying. It will be more expensive but much easier. My husband and son want to go but they won't be heartbroken if they miss it. My daughter will! So, now to start checking on flights and rental cars. (Another thing about taking my daughter alone - we can handle cheap flights with multiple stops, many layovers, etc. My ADHD/anxious kid doesn't do so well under those circumstances. So we can probably find cheaper if not more convenient flights.) Thanks for all the thoughts. I still think 30 miles is a long way under those circumstances though! :lol: :lol:

Just venting, out of sadness, not anger. A beloved relative of mine is getting married this summer. She lives about 800 miles away, so it means significant travel for my family. That's to be expected, of course. We are looking at $2500 for airfare for us all, so we will probably have to drive. That's OK. But... turns out her wedding venue is about 50 miles from her home city, in a tiny, tiny town. The hotel accommodations are limited - as in, a place with 13 rooms, none of which has more than one bed, a B&B that is super-high $$$ for us, and a place that according to TripAdvisor is a dirty, nasty, dump. The next nearest place is 30 miles away. The one-bed thing is significant for us, as we have two college-aged kids who can share a room but not a bed. If they don't have roll-aways or allow one person to sleep on the floor*, we would need 3 rooms. Or, I guess, the males and females could split up and share, but I'd like to share with my husband. :-) So I'm not sure what we will do. *And I am not keen on anyone sleeping on the floor in a hotel, no matter how nice. Ick. Yeah, we could spread out a sheet. Still, ick. Sigh. It is a beautiful place. I can see why someone would want to be married there. But I'm sure there are other people who will be unable to attend because of the distance and lack of accommodations. 50 miles is a long way to drive home after a wedding reception. Even 30, really (to the next town with hotels/motels). Just feeling a little sad. She lives in a neat, historic city. Hard to imagine there weren't nice places for a wedding right in town. ETA: looking at Air BnB and VRBO. Nothing so far!

Yeah. I used to love to cook. Now, I hate it because of all the planning required to make everyone as happy as possible as often as possible. When we were first together, my husband and I shopped and cooked together frequently. That went out the window when the kids arrived and other things changed. For a while when they were little I still enjoyed cooking, but as the years went on... ugh. I do still like to cook for company - well, appetizers and desserts, main courses not so much - and I like to bake, but we're all trying to eat better (lower carb in general, lower sugar specifically) so it's not as much fun. And when I ask for suggestions, my husband wants things we could acquire/afford in that old life. Lamb, for one thing. Yeah sorry honey, there's no time or budget for osso bucco anymore. Drop that fantasy, OK? Of course I'm no happier when he asks for sloppy joe's, which no one else likes. :-) Poor guy; he can't do anything right. :-)

I have worked at a food bank (briefly) and donate on an irregular basis. I agree that they are needed; I wish they weren't needed. I agree that some of the food is not the best quality. I donate the same types of foods my family eats. Lots of stuff from Aldi. :-) What may be controversial is that people who are not in need sometimes go to them. I remember one at a church where my kids had a class. A bakery dropped off lovely day-old bread. Lots of people were in line for that bread, but only the bread. As I was walking by, one of the workers asked me if I'd like to take some. I was shocked because - it's supposed to be for people who can't buy food! On the other hand, bread is perishable so they might as well give it to anyone rather than throw it away. I have also - rarely, but from time to time - heard people "bragging" about getting stuff for free from the food bank.

My daughter and I clash a lot over homeschooling. But then we do something not school-related and everything is good again. I wanted her to go to high school but she would not, so even though she complains about homeschool work a lot, she still wanted to do it. She is a senior now, taking two dual-enrollment classes, so I don't have too much to do anymore. There are a lot of reasons kids and parents clash. My sister was not homeschooled, but she and our mom had some very bad years. They got over it. (I realize some relationships never recover.) I must admit I was relieved when she took her last math class via DE. She has hated math in all forms since... forever. Consequently, she doesn't do very well. That was our biggest area of struggle. I wish I'd outsourced math years ago.

I know you said this is partly tongue-in-cheek, but you wouldn't mention it if it wasn't a real concern. I agree that you are thinking too much. If you suffer an untimely death, you husband will have to go on and manage your kids' educations in his own way. I must admit that as big a worrier as I am, this never crossed my mind when my kids were younger. I trust my husband to take care of his own children! :-)

I used to love to cook. But now, it's sheer drudgery because there are so many variables to plan around: kids' and adults' schedules, eating needs and preferences, $$$$. I do keep a few emergency items around for days when it just doesn't work out.

Hey, come join the Instant Pot Group! http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/groups/277-instant-pot-wtmers/ (I hope I gave you the right link to join.)

I would say that it's fine. They may not care. Their kid is going there anyway. Your son doesn't add any cost or even inconvenience. (I guess I am not sure about the inconvenience. That might come up, if sometime the driver wants/needs to go someplace else after class, or stay at the college later.) I don't think I would care, in the same situation. I might not want to be paid either. My son used to get a ride to a class with someone. The guy was going there anyway and didn't want any money. We picked up a gift card for a local convenience store/gas station as a thank you. He didn't want to take that either till my son said "My mom wants you to have it." LOL don't refuse the mom! They may also be uncomfortable with naming an amount.

Something about Pinterest-worthy houses. I actually like it when I go to someone's house and it is not perfectly neat and clutter free. A little dust is nice to see too. It makes me more relaxed and more inclined to want to invite them over, as it makes me feel less likely to be judged by my house. Our house is old and some of it is rundown. The kitchen floor is never going to be really clean anymore, kwim? One of the best social occasions my family ever had - we still talk about it over 10 years later - was when a family from our old church invited us to their house. They'd been to our many times, because we lived close to the church and often had lunches, classes, events there. They lived far out. Anyway, they were a family of 8 living in a small manufactured home. It was not shiny and new by any means. They welcomed us so warmly and enthusiastically. We had such a good time. They were not ashamed of anything, did not apologize for anything. It was so comfortable! If I go to someone's home and they apologize for the "mess" when it's just a few things around, I feel very uncomfortable and I am unlikely to want to invite them to my house. Same with women (men never do this) who apologize in advance for the poor quality of the food. It's so awkward. I mean, what are you supposed to say? "Oh, it's all delicious!" is the only polite response.

This is a problem I've encountered. Even some suburban areas around here are congested. I was amazed the first time I saw a street of houses with no driveways, no parking areas except the street, which was packed. Driving around searching for a parking place and being late for dinner; the stress of parallel parking in tight spaces; schlepping our dinner contribution several blocks in crushing heat/humidity or bitter cold (there are 6 days a year it's nice here). OK, I'm exaggerating a little. And of course people who live in the city want to have people over too. They don't owe me a parking space. Still, I just wish they would give me parking tips ahead of time the first time I come over. Once I arrived late, flustered, and sweaty to someone's house and apologized, citing the parking problem. The host said "oh, you could have parked at [business with signs all over the place saying no parking]." How would I have known that ahead of time? :wacko:

I know what you mean. But I bet whether they say it or not, people appreciate it. I have people from church over a lot. I'd like to do it more - I'm looking forward to a time when I can invite everyone to stop by on Sunday night after church. (Right now I can't because of a kid's commitment on that night, that I have to drive for.) My style and my house are more conducive to casual get-togethers. I have an open house once a year around Christmas, and a church picnic every summer. We have a lot of students at our church, and when they graduate and move on, I have had going-away parties. And baby showers; lots of baby showers. :-) Most people do not reciprocate. I think because I know a lot of students, there are two reasons: one, they may think it's so easy for me and they can't do it as well, which is not true but I get that perception. (It could also be money; I suspect my food budget is a bit looser.) Also, though people seem to enjoy coming over, there is a generation gap between us so they don't consider us peers. I love to invite people of all ages over and it rather bugs me when people seem to think they can only socialize within their age group/generation. But I guess it may be hard to socialize with someone who looks like Mom. I am not sure how to overcome that. I don't think of myself as a stodgy old person (though I do know some people my age who seem old to me). Maybe I should start a thread about encouraging multi-generational socializing...

Not sure this is what you are looking for... we replaced the old AM/FM radio and CD player in our 1997 Suburban with a new unit that included an AUX jack for plugging in ipod, phone, etc. We got it at Crutchfield.com, which may have other options. I see a tab for "Bluetooth Car Kits and Adaptors." In our other ancient car, we have an adaptor for the cassette player. I think my husband got that at the same place.

I don't know why they were in town, so I don't know if we were an afterthought or if they didn't think they'd have time to get together and then discovered they did, or if they sort of forgot where we lived till something made them think of us, which I guess is the same as an afterthought, sort of. It doesn't matter. We were happy to hear from them even though we can hardly consider them close friends if after nearly 10 years we have not been in touch. Actually, I think we exchanged Christmas cards/letters for a few years, and I think I could see from those that our lives had diverged a lot over the years, iykwim. But still, fond memories and all that. People's lives change, and they move on when someone leaves the area. (We have never been back to visit where we used to live.) So, no offense taken here; I was glad they thought to call whatever the circumstances. Though, sure, a little sad that it didn't work out. I plan to touch base again, see about getting caught up, and take it from there. Honestly, I think that's one nice thing about facebook (I could not find them on it). It does make it easier to "keep track" of people and stay in touch, even if they're only on the margins. :-)

Interesting, yet not surprising, responses. :-) There are a lot of things I would drop. But not the things today. I do want to make clear that the old friends who wanted to get together did not complain or say we were rude, and did not in any way indicate they thought we should drop everything to see them. If they felt that way, they kept it to themselves. It was another friend of mine, to whom I mentioned the situation, who told me I was rude not to drop everything to see them; that's what prompted the question.

This morning I heard from an old family friend, someone we had not seen in almost 10 years (we moved away) and had fallen out of touch with. The family was in town (well, about 45-60 minutes drive away) and hoped to get together briefly. They are leaving town later today. As we texted back and forth (for various reasons it was easier than calling), it became obvious that we could not manage it. 3 of the 4 of my family had other obligations that we really couldn't change last minute. I was really sad because I miss them, even though we had fallen out of touch. It would have been fun to catch up. But, reality was, we couldn't manage it. I mentioned this to another friend today and they were appalled that we wouldn't drop everything to see old friends. It would never occur to me to expect people to drop everything if I was suddenly in their town and contacted them. But this person said "I know not to bother calling you if I move away and come back for a visit." I thought, really?? As far as I know, the old friends were not offended by our lack of availability. Anyway, I'm just curious. Would you be offended if you contacted someone like that, and they were not available? Would you drop other commitments to see someone on short notice like that? I don't need any advice, because it's all over now. But I'm curious how others would feel about it because the person I mentioned it to thought I was pretty rude not to work it out. ETA: I should make it clear that we had real commitments/obligations, not just things we planned and wanted to do. These were things other people were depending on us to do and that we had agreed to do. Just in case that makes a difference.

I am doing that for the next few days. Actually after breakfast I tested every 15 minutes. But, I'm wondering about something. Isn't the reason for testing at 2 hours to see how quickly the number comes back down - isn't that an indicator too? Sorry if this sounds like I'm arguing - I'm not - or haven't done any reading on my own. But there is a lot of conflicting information to be had. Another question: I know most people are advised to test before eating, I guess so they can plan their meal. But I wonder if at this point it would make sense to skip that and just test after. Because my before-meal numbers are always low, in the 80s (occasionally) or (most often) mid-90s. And, I'm planning my meals around vegetables and protein anyway. Thanks again, all.

Totally an aside, but I told my husband never to tell his parents about this, or even if I become diabetic, need insulin, etc. Because, they would be quick to assume it's because I'm overweight/eat badly/etc. And maybe it would be (I have no family history of it) but... I just wouldn't want to go there with them. Another aside: I have a relative who is a triathlete, teaches some sort of fitness classes at a gym, runs marathons, etc. But to look at her... you would see a fat girl. She will most likely never be slim and athletic looking. But she is strong and fit and healthy. Fat is part of her/our genetic makeup. It's from the Eastern European peasant side of the family, as my dad would say. We are sturdy people. Carry on. :-)

Yes. But that's what's so confusing. In the months prior to the first test, my diet was terrible - lots of white rice, white bread, sweets every day. Even with the small Christmas indulgences it was so very much better between the first and second tests. That's why it's so hard to believe it didn't go down even .1 point. I am burning through test strips this weekend, trying to see if there are spikes I wasn't seeing with testing before. this morning I even ate a whole piece of toast instead of my usual half, but so far so good. Thanks! I'll figure it out... or I won't, I guess. :-)

Pam :grouphug: :grouphug: Not that it's really helpful, but there are more people in that position than you may realize. :grouphug:

Yeah, I agree. I would be creeped out by that and would be watching out for a stalker for a while. And I'm old and not likely to be stalked. It'd be even more creepy if I was young, or it was my daughter who received something like that.

Just a comment on grains... I eat homemade muesli with homemade kefir almost every day for breakfast. My post-breakfast tests are always great. For the past few days I have been testing before and after every meal and everything has been well within range. Maybe I am eating something that I don't realize/notice and don't test after eating it. I could be willfully ignoring something but I don't think so, 'cause what advantage would there be in that? I did test after a birthday dinner of pizza and cake and was unsurprised to see a high reading (150 2 hours after eating). That was a few days after the blood test and before I had the results, when I still thought the number would be down! I'm just going to test often between now and my followup appointment, and take those numbers along with a food diary to the doc. Thanks again for all the comments/suggestions! It's helpful!

Is this the gift that was left on your doorstep in error? And there are only first names of recipient and giver? I'd get rid of it in whatever way seems best - donate, trash, etc.

I don't think it's ridiculous. Scripts can be helpful. Both my kids dislike using the phone, but one is truly phone-phobic, and has always been. At around age 11, this child joined Scouts, and as a leader of a group, had to call people periodically. It was torture. So we did role-playing and created scripts, and a checklist of what was to be covered in the call. At some point I found out that all the kids holding that position hating making the calls as much as my child did. So much that many didn't make them even though that was part of the "job." Now, this child is an older teen, and still has to make calls periodically. For something really complicated we will still do scripts and checklists, but they are getting better with practice. I never would have believed this individual would ever call to make, say, a dentist appointment, and put it on the family calendar, without my help. But it's happening. I think phone-phobia is going to become more prevalent as kids get their own phones at younger ages and text among their peers rather than call. I think it just makes it harder when a real phone call is needed. And, it's harder for them to learn phone etiquette. But, then again, the phone is needed less and less. Even some doctors have online appointment scheduling. That's about the only thing I use the phone for, except for chatting with friends and family.