I've started a novel set in contemporary England. On about page 8 it's already annoying me and I need something cleared up before I go on. The main character is an American studying at Oxford. She is talking with an elderly English woman about her studies; the woman asks: "You are a history major, then?" It's the term "major" that's bothering me. I thought that was an American term. Based on other books, I'd have expected it to be phrased as something like "you're reading history, then?" But maybe that is archaic? Yeah, it's a small quibble but it's bugging me.

Boat trip to the Royal Observatory in Greenwich.

Depends on a lot of things. Temperament of the kid, for one thing. And the type of restaurant. And I'm not even sure what ages we are talking about. Once when our oldest was maybe a year old we attempted to eat at a very nice dinner house. What a stupid mistake. However, that child loved other places, particularly those with interesting light fixtures. And one time we were served corn on the cob... we handed it to him and he was quiet and happy for the entire meal! You can be sure we went back there again. And he has loved corn ever since. :-) Once the kids could look at books, we'd bring some along, or notebooks and crayons/pens. I was never averse to bringing entertainment. But we would reserve really nice places for nights we had a babysitter. When on vacation, we didn't attempt nice quiet restaurants till the kids were in double digits, I think. But I am not big on expensive quiet restaurants anyway. :-)

It sounds like people have different ideas of "relaxing." To me it is not sitting around watching the grass grow. It is doing something that is different from what I do at home, something interesting, enjoyable. So, I can be happy in the city or in a remote area. It's not about the place, necessarily. My husband and I used to camp. He finds it uncomfortable (back problems) now, and one of our kids hates it passionately, so that is out. :-) Here in PA, some of the state parks have very nice cabins so we have found a good compromise there. We stay in the woods, we have to bring our own food and everything else as if we were camping, but we have a comfortable place to stay. I can have a lovely morning walk outside my door. We can cook on a regular stove or we can grill outside, or over a campfire. It's wonderful. We spent Thanksgiving at one last year, and we wish we'd started a tradition years ago. (I did not take a whole turkey, just some drumsticks and premade side dishes.) Anyway, I can be equally happy in a big city as long as I can walk outside my hotel and see something interesting, even just city streets to walk. Not having to use a car all the time is a plus for me. Museums and other city sightseeing is wonderful. Cafes for an afternoon coffee makes my vacation that much better. So, staying in a motel along the interstate is not so fun, unless of course it's just a quick overnight stop on the way to someplace good. I'm not a big beach person unless it's a wild sort of beach, such as the Oregon or northern California coast. Most of the places on the Jersey shore don't do much for me. :-) Also, having enough room is important. Once my kids hit the teen years, we started getting adjoining rooms if we are in a hotel. The kids enjoy a little near-autonomy, and my husband and I enjoy the privacy. Plus, two bathrooms, priceless. I prefer not to have to do a lot of cooking with the exception of the state park because, otherwise, we would not eat. But we do keep it simple.

I never kept that stuff. and it's not up to the teacher to tell you what to do. That said, I wouldn't throw it away at church. We would talk a little bit about SS at home or on the way home, and I'd look at the craft, and deal with it then. I don't teach SS, but I do the cleaning at my church. I must say that when I see the kids' crafts in the trash there, it makes me feel a little sad for the teachers who put a lot of time and effort into preparing them.

Hard as it is, I think the direct way is best. "you hurt me deeply [whenever it was] and I don't want to pursue a renewed relationship with you" or something like that, appropriate to what actually happened. I've been dumped by someone using the "Sorry, can't, too busy" routine. I would have much preferred she just tell me outright that our friendship was over. Either I was dense as a brick or she was too good an actress, because I bought the line for too long. Not only was the realization painful, it was embarrassing.

We avoid as much as possible, and just deal with it when we have to. My husband sometimes has meetings at a colleague's house. When he comes home, I can smell their detergent/softener smell on him. He has to take a shower and I have to wash his clothing separately to get the smell out. A few years ago I was excited to buy jeans at the thrift store, only to find it took so much washing, along with detergent, baking soda, vinegar, etc, that I doubt I saved any money over new jeans. Certainly there was more frustration! I hate it. I wish people didn't feel the need to be surrounded by scents all the time.

Insulin response? I don't know; I'm reading about that right now and that was my first thought.

One of my kids does not like to eat in the morning, and it does not seem to affect her performance. Same with me. I don't have to eat to be productive. My other kid needs to eat right away. It does affect him if he delays breakfast. But even when he was little, he would be so grumpy in the morning; we'd give him a little orange juice and the mood would change instantly. So, we assumed it was low blood sugar. He isn't like that anymore, but he does wake up hungry and wants his breakfast soon after getting up. It really depends on the person, I think. I've found with my kids it is counter-productive to try to force them to eat. The most I do is try to have appealing things around. My non-eater will sometimes have a few nuts and a couple spoonfuls of yogurt (plain, not sweetened).

I don't always eat breakfast right away, because I'm not hungry then. Sometimes I don't eat breakfast till the typical lunch time (noonish). But I don't consider that skipping breakfast. I'm simply delaying it beyond the traditional time. Breakfast = first meal of the day. Whatever time that is. I've found that simply changing that wording gets people off my back.

That doesn't fit my definition of a playdate. As others have said, that's babysitting. I would back away from this woman in the future.

I freeze nuts if they are going to be stored more than a few months - if I knew they'd be eaten within two months, I wouldn't bother. They don't get much harder than they are unfrozen. Isn't the reason foods get hard in the freezer because of the water content? I'm guessing nuts have little water to freeze.

I don't know if cheese us bad for you. It could be, or maybe not. I eat cheese daily and have for years. My doctors always compliment me on my fabulous cholesterol numbers and have zero concerns about my heart health. Of course you may be different. Recently though I've discovered that I have a blood sugar issue, so I don't eat crackers too much anymore. Celery stuffed with cheese is my snack now. Or sometimes my lunch. Goat cheese is the best, but cheddar is pretty good too. Or feta. Or pretty much any kind. When was your last physical with blood work? Base your diet decisions on that, not on your friends' health.

Even at church I have not found my tribe. We've been here for 9.5 years, so I despair of it ever happening. :grouphug: :grouphug: OP. Totally get you.

IDK. I have a hard time seeing this as a respect issue. Maybe it's because one of my kids had seriously bad acne (to the point that they needed accutane) and it was a tough time in so many ways. It just didn't make sense to me to burden the kid with keeping track of which towels were OK to use and which weren't. It was far easier on all of us if I just kept the good/guest towels in a different place. To me, the towels in the linen closet are "family property," available to be used by anyone. If it's important to me to have some that no one can use, then it's up to me to keep them out of the family's space. I guess I also see that sort of thing as a poor marker for respect. Or maybe it's because I mess up too, and don't always remember to do things I know to do. My husband has asked me repeatedly not to let knives (like the nice chef's knife) soak in dishwater. Over time it loosens the rivets, I guess. But, when I'm in a hurry, trying to get something done, sometimes the knives ended up soaking. I don't lack respect for him. I even get it, at a philosophical level, that he's right and the knives are better off not soaking. But, I don't always take care. I've apologized for my lack of care for the knives, and he doesn't say anything anymore, because he knows that in the long run, it's not that big a deal. (BTW, he issued gentle reminders, not commands. He was very nice about it, not scoldy. :-) )

Of course it's true! :lol: I'm not there yet, and I doubt I will miss the towels, but I can't bring myself to get upset over it. If a kid's acne is so severe that those strong medications are required, then... the kid is not happy with the way they look. I'm not going to fret over some towels or harangue my kid about using the wrong ones. In the big picture of stuff I have to take care of, keeping a few towels separate is a pretty small thing, imo.

This. We have had t-shirts and sheets ruined because it rubs off when the kid is sleeping. It's not necessarily laziness or a lack of proper hand-washing. We have guest towels and family towels. The family towels have acne-med-bleaching, laundry-mistake-bleaching, charcoal-from-the-art-student stains, mom's-haircoloring-stains... they still work; they are just not pretty. ETA: I keep the guest towels in a separate place so no one can accidentally grab them. I wouldn't expect anyone, even myself, to always remember which towels are off-limits if they are stored with the "regular" towels.

When I was a kid, we would go to my grandmother's house most Sundays for a big meal right after church. She was an immigrant from Poland so we had a lot of meat and cabbage as I recall. Sometimes we would go to my other grandma's but she didn't cook for us as I recall. My own mom made pizza for dinner on Sunday night, pretty much every week till her nest was empty. We never had guests or other family, though, for that. I love the idea of a big Sunday lunch with guests. Realistically, it doesn't work for us most of the time. I do it once a month with people from church who participate in a ministry activity on Sunday afternoons. I love it, but it can be a lot of work. Today is not one of those Sundays. I posted a list of food available for my family to eat. There are various leftovers, and stuff for making sandwiches. I listed it so no one asks me what there is to eat. Then, I went for a long-ish walk. This is a nice way to spend Sunday too! Ideally, I would have guests twice a month and have a day like today twice a month.

Yes, that's how I am. I do haul it to the library and they can do with it as they please - they will take it; some they sell, some they put on the shelves. I assume whatever doesn't sell goes in the dumpster. My post was mainly sort of a cautionary tale for the OP. It seemed like she wanted to find someone in need and I am not sure that a facebook posting is going to get her that. I actually was bothered once by someone taking some hand-me-downs from me, as if she needed the things for her kids. Later I found she sold them. I didn't really care what happened to the things, but it bothered me that she led me to believe she could use them herself. What she really meant was she could use the money they would bring in. Which is fine - but I wished she had been honest about it in the first place, kwim? I wouldn't have minded her getting the money for them. I wasn't going to go to the trouble of selling them. Anyway, now I donate as best I can and whatever happens to it... it's out of my house. :-)

LOL of course I know they are invited. I wouldn't be going through all this decision-making if I didn't know they were invited! :lol: :lol: It would make things much easier if they weren't! (Though I would probably not go without them unless I went alone. They are older teens but neither wants to be home alone yet with us that far away.)

I have a relative who is in a successful marriage with a woman he met online. They took it slow - and there were no previous marriages/children in the mix. Still, it can be done. They did meet in person before it got serious. Meeting confirmed a lot for them.

In my experience.. someone will contact the poster, say "I need it" and then will turn around and sell it.

LOL most of you must think I am awfully fussy! This is it exactly. A 30 mile/45 minute drive after driving all day, to and from rehearsal dinner, then again the next day for the wedding... missing out on the late-night hanging out together. That's what makes me a little sad. And sure, we could just say no. We want to go; if we didn't care about missing it I wouldn't be sad about it. I'd send a gift and call it good. At this point I'm leaning toward taking my daughter and flying. It will be more expensive but much easier. My husband and son want to go but they won't be heartbroken if they miss it. My daughter will! So, now to start checking on flights and rental cars. (Another thing about taking my daughter alone - we can handle cheap flights with multiple stops, many layovers, etc. My ADHD/anxious kid doesn't do so well under those circumstances. So we can probably find cheaper if not more convenient flights.) Thanks for all the thoughts. I still think 30 miles is a long way under those circumstances though! :lol: :lol:

Just venting, out of sadness, not anger. A beloved relative of mine is getting married this summer. She lives about 800 miles away, so it means significant travel for my family. That's to be expected, of course. We are looking at $2500 for airfare for us all, so we will probably have to drive. That's OK. But... turns out her wedding venue is about 50 miles from her home city, in a tiny, tiny town. The hotel accommodations are limited - as in, a place with 13 rooms, none of which has more than one bed, a B&B that is super-high $$$ for us, and a place that according to TripAdvisor is a dirty, nasty, dump. The next nearest place is 30 miles away. The one-bed thing is significant for us, as we have two college-aged kids who can share a room but not a bed. If they don't have roll-aways or allow one person to sleep on the floor*, we would need 3 rooms. Or, I guess, the males and females could split up and share, but I'd like to share with my husband. :-) So I'm not sure what we will do. *And I am not keen on anyone sleeping on the floor in a hotel, no matter how nice. Ick. Yeah, we could spread out a sheet. Still, ick. Sigh. It is a beautiful place. I can see why someone would want to be married there. But I'm sure there are other people who will be unable to attend because of the distance and lack of accommodations. 50 miles is a long way to drive home after a wedding reception. Even 30, really (to the next town with hotels/motels). Just feeling a little sad. She lives in a neat, historic city. Hard to imagine there weren't nice places for a wedding right in town. ETA: looking at Air BnB and VRBO. Nothing so far!

Yeah. I used to love to cook. Now, I hate it because of all the planning required to make everyone as happy as possible as often as possible. When we were first together, my husband and I shopped and cooked together frequently. That went out the window when the kids arrived and other things changed. For a while when they were little I still enjoyed cooking, but as the years went on... ugh. I do still like to cook for company - well, appetizers and desserts, main courses not so much - and I like to bake, but we're all trying to eat better (lower carb in general, lower sugar specifically) so it's not as much fun. And when I ask for suggestions, my husband wants things we could acquire/afford in that old life. Lamb, for one thing. Yeah sorry honey, there's no time or budget for osso bucco anymore. Drop that fantasy, OK? Of course I'm no happier when he asks for sloppy joe's, which no one else likes. :-) Poor guy; he can't do anything right. :-)