ayup! all related. It's a sensory seeking thing. Often kids with spd will be sensory avoidant in some areas, and sensory seeking in others. It can be a mixed bag.

I bet we could :o). I've definitely dealt with the clothing issue a LOT between my oldest and Ben. Both of them would rip out tags on their own (making holes, of course). Oldest dd hated shoes, socks, seams of any kind, tags, the works. She gradually improved with age, but she still gets ribbed at church a bit over the shoe issue :o). Once church was over, she would rip those shoes off and go racing around barefoot. She still has friends tease her (at age 19 ha!)saying "Hey look! you're wearing shoes!". Shoes were not my hill to die on. She wore them when absolutely necessary, and didn't when they weren't. Ben's gotten much better on clothes in just the last 2 years or so. He used to only want to wear sweatpants. frequently with no underwear :eek:. sigh. he's better with tags now, and will wear jeans. So there is hope. Both oldest and Ben were very orally fixated & put EVERYTHING in the mouth for ev er. legos, coins, paper, plastic, marbles, you name it. When Ben was little he would frequently chew on the necks of his shirts, ending up with a huge wet ring around the top of his shirts. They never choked on anything, though. Ben's improved on this in the last couple year also, though he still will frequently chew on paper. Sugarless gum is a staple food in our house. Still. I'll never forget his first lead rehearsal for the last Peter Pan (he was about 10 then).....Elizabeth came up to me and said "Did you know that Ben had coins in his mouth during rehearsal?" Sigh. After that, I did mouth and pocket checks before he went in the door LOL! ....I could go on, but I won't. There is definitely hope for improvement with age, though.

laziness and lack of humility/teachability. Smart kids walk this fine line between craving challenge/complexity, and not wanting to work hard at having to learn something that is actually at their challenge level. So we go back and forth between "This is stupid!!!!" and "This is too hard!!!" frequently LOL. Stupid because he knows it's a process that, while important to know how to do, has little to do with the comprehension of the thing. Writing down steps in algebra. Using neat penmanship in grammar. etc. Hard because it is tedious and requires concentrating on something he thinks is of no consequence. OR, hard because it is genuinely hard, and he wants to "get it" quickly. We also struggle with lack of humility and teachability. He doesn't want to listen to me explain the lesson, he just wants to get it done. "I already know it!!" (when you know he doesn't, he just doesn't want to sit and listen/be attentive). Bottom line....even though my kid is smart/gifted, I still put more importance on him learning to work hard and be teachable than I do on how smart he is. Smarts and gifts are a dime a dozen. Good character is what will get you successfully through life.

Wow......I honestly couldn't tell you. He has such a phenomenal auditory memory, that literally since this kid could talk, he's been memorizing all manner of this and that. Poems, songs, jokes......you name it. whatever was interesting to him. He "spiels" All. the. time. I would say humor is probably the running thread througout...he latches onto funny stuff big time.

Hi Holly!! You know me best as Ben's mom LOL! I think our kids found a little kindred spirit in each other for good reason :o). I could have written that post you wrote, almost. Sorta scary. Your blog is wonderful....it's fun to see what Charlotte & Gracie are up to down at Colburn. I am right there with you on not always knowing what to say to others, or just not really being able to say much. Ben's very asynchronous, so very gifted musically & intellectually, but otoh, not incredibly mature, & has sensory issues in assorted areas. Sensitivities to clothes, food, air temperature, loud noise (unless he's the one making it LOL), changes of any kind, etc. etc. Very much a perfectionist, & hates to be wrong. Quick tempered. Self control is not his forte (although he's getting better, and we've worked on it his whole life). Very sensitive to teasing & has been a bully target more than once. Raising kids like this is not for the faint of heart, that's for sure. My oldest dd was similarly gifted with sensory issues (although not musically, like Ben), so I'm sort of on round 2. He's a little quirkier than she was, though. I also recommend the book Out of Sync Child. I read it when Ben was around 11, having resisted reading it for quite awhile. Not having read it, I chalked some of his quirks up to sensory issues, but there were others that baffled me that I didn't think fit the sensory profile at all. Once I read it, the light bulb came on & I saw how all of it "fit", so to speak. It has been very useful for understanding him better & helping him understand himself better. I'm so (oh so very very) thankful for all the wonderful people we have found over the years who have been willing to work with his quirks, celebrate his uniqueness, and challenge him appropriately. He's had wonderful choir directors at church, a fantastic piano teacher (We did kindermusik till he was almost 8 because of maturity level), and of course the wonderful people at escape have been so patient & encouraging with his "out there" personality. He's just a "square peg" kid, who will be navigating a "round hole" world his whole life, & it's just hard some days. There are literally days I feel like giftedness is a curse, and couldn't I just have one of those average kids, puleeeese????? Not most of the time, tho ;o). I digress. I'll say hi next time I see you at ESCAPE. Kayleen

So. Cal. here. Going rate in my area is about 30 per half hour lesson,which makes it around 120-150 per month for each, depending on the number of weeks. This is with very qualified (music teachers assn, well trained etc.) teachers.

I understand how you might *feel* at this very moment, but I'm here to tell you that it will NOT be this way the rest of her life. Not unless she is a clone of her brother, with no interests of her own. Look.......they are very tiny children right now. 5 and 3.5 is exceedingly tiny. They have their whole lives to grow, mature, and explore their own interests. Trust me, when your daughter is a bit older, she will definitely be doing things your ds will not be doing, and she will have "firsts" all her own. But you need to ditch the "this is the way things are going to be for her for the rest of her life...." stuff. Cmon. Really??? No way Jose :o). Kayleen (with 2 dd's, 19.5, 17.5, one ds 14....all of whom are completely different and have ALL taken different paths, and excelled in different areas)

heh heh.....If it were me, I'd probably make her do her own laundry this time, also.

When are you going to be there? We'll be up there, too, this Sat. for hubby's extended family dinner at the Foreign Legion hall in old town Clovis. I'd invite you, but it might not be quite a proper thing to do, & family might not approve :o). But hey, Old Town Clovis is very cute/quaint, with lots of shops, antique stores etc. There is also a carriage ride you can take around the area. They decorate it all up for Christmas & you could bop over there & stroll around to get away from the TV. Nice to meet you, btw. We live in Santa Clarita.....where are you from?

Did a quick net search, and found this great article. Fit wins. Check it out. http://reviews.carreview.com/blog/honda-fit-toyota-yaris-and-nissan-versa-comparison-the-new-big-3s-little-3/

Definitely our hs group. They have lots of activities for all ages. That and church, but mostly hs group/coop. Our group has a weekly PE coop in elementary, sports program starting in jr. high, and an academic coop in hs. All of which are fabulous.

Totally agree. I'm a baptist, but just because we worship with other believers on Sun. (as was the custom of the early church, btw), doesn't mean that those that worship on other days are in any way breaking any "rules". I think the Rom 14:5 verse coupled with the admonition in Hebrews to not forsake assembling together are my rule of thumb. So in a nutshell: Early church met on the first day of the week, BUT we are not bound by the sabbath anymore (book of Hebrews, Christ's example, Rom 14:5), BUT we still need to be with other believers in a local church, following the example of the early church, so we can exercise our gifts in concert with one another (per Hebrews), even though which day we do it on is not an issue.

Sorcerer's Apprentice just came out. It is PG, and would be great for that age boys. Unless magic stuff is a no-no.

Actually, these situations don't seem too difficult.... #1: My policy would always be that the person who does NOT want more children always wins. period. Not an issue of submission. Children must be a mutual decision. If it were the wife who did not want more children it would be the same to me. #2: Abortion? NEVER. never never never. I'm pro life. doesn't happen. You deal with life's unexpected blessings. yes, blessings. Not slaying innocents is an obedience to God thing. Always obey God over man when in such situations. #3. You put the embryos up for adoption. Look up Snowflake Embryo Adoption. same principle as #2. Never never never. Again, an "obey God rather than man" thing.

I guess I'm truly puzzled.....this concept and terminology comes straight from scripture, both Old Testament and New. Matt 1:21 tells us it was the whole reason Christ came. You could also look at Matt 18:11, Luke 7:50, Jn 3:17, Jn 12:47, Acts 2:47....and on and on. It is literally all over the bible.It is synonymous with believing in Christ (for salvation from sin), having faith in Christ (his death/resurrection for our sin) etc. Although there are many who may not be able to point to a particular moment at which they believed, there are many that can certainly point to such a time. The Apostle Paul for one, but there are many others in the NT, during the time of Christ, and in the early church that had a certain point where they repented and "believed"..the Acts 2:47 verse comes to mind on this one. I would encourage you to read through the bible, or at least do a study and trace the word...you'll certainly come to understand the context, and why the word continues to be used, even if you choose to believe something differently. HTH, Kayleen

totally agree. Have had 2 such children, and have done pretty much what NWmom has said. Mine were/are flappers, flitters, talk-to-your-selfers, laugh at your own jokes, dance in public kids LOL. Well, my oldest was more the flapper, run like the wind, barefoot, jump over all the pews to get somewhere type. My youngest is more the flitter, talk to yourself, dance in public one... Anyway, none of my kids were such that I decided they needed to be diagnosed officially with anything, but just quirky, and (I now know) have definite issues - although not severe - with spd. Definitely direct instruction. I don't get mad at my now 14yo son, and he is much better on many of these things than he was even at 11. But........yeah, "Ya know..you cannot do that here. Look around. Do you see anybody else doing that. Thats your clue. Pay attention....etc etc." or if he's been telling silly jokes in the car and laughing to himself over them, or spieling (reciting favorite monologues/movie scenes..whatever), we have to remind him when he gets out....NO MORE!!! LOL :o). He will *never* be "cool" like other teens, but thats ok...we aren't a very cool family. But he is involved in theater, which he is fantastic at, and where quirks are much more acceptable (as long as he doesn't space out, and pays attention....which is hard for him, but he is learning). It's a learning process. Enjoy him. Kids like this are fun when they aren't driving you crazy.

agree with Jean...this is very much how my parent's mission agency did things as well. Where my parents worked, there is now a seminary with mostly native teachers. There has been quite a bit of unrest and rebel activity, so many of the missionaries have been forced to leave (not all), but the native pastors have carried on the ministry quite well....a tribute to how well the missionaries there trained the people.

Have you asked anyone there about this? My parents were missionaries in a 3rd world country. I would say our standard of living was better than most of the populace, but certainly not better than in the states LOL. We didn't have nice things in general, by our standards. Certainly not 2500 sq ft homes. My parents lived in a variety of types of houses, from cinderblock to mud brick, to even grass huts for a time with a tribe in the bush that my mom was doing language work with. I do know that many mission boards have a set amount of support that they require for their missionaries. The missionaries have to have that amount of monthly support before they are allowed to go. I totally understand the boarding school controversy....I went to an mk/international school for high school (my parents weren't willing before that...we did Calvert), but there were mission boards that *required* parents to send their little baby k-ers. Not sure I get that either. I don't know that it would have been considered "prestigious" necessarily, but we had very good teachers, and miscellaneous expat/diplomat's kids. I think I got a very good education. I confess I don't know what it actually cost, but I do know that the mission required missionaries to allot part of their support to education. Anyway....I think it would be very interesting and constructive for you to find someone amongst the missionaries there who is open enough to dialogue with you about this. You might find out things you never thought about before...things that might confirm the feelings you have now, but also things that might temper them as well. I would caution you to not condemn across the board until you have a bit more understanding and clarity. Then you can throw the book at em ;o). Just a bit of insiders perspective. Kayleen

Cheer up! Not so tough :o). the Bible *does* say, very clearly. See my post a bit further down for specific passages.

I voted other, because I believe from scripture that once the resurrection occurs we will most certainly have bodies, like Christ had when he was resurrected (Luke 24:39, 1 Thess 4: 14-17). And once the earth is made new at the very end, we will enjoy our perfect bodies on the new earth (Rev 21: 1-8). But I don't believe we will have the same sort of relationship ie what we call marriage here on earth. Bible says we will be like the angels in that sense, who do not marry or are not given in marriage (Matt 22: 24-32). I believe we'll certainly know each other as family, but the primary marriage relationship in heaven will be with the Lord Jesus Christ (Eph 5:25-33). All earthly marriage is meant to demonstrate and mirror this heavenly relationship. It's the whole reason for the institution of marriage in the first place, which is why God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16, Matt 19: 3-9.) even though he allows for it under certain situations.

Maybe you could choose between Karate, PE, or Soccer. Or maybe just drop PE. I wouldn't give up church or piano. I don't think my kids were quite that busy at that age, but then we aren't very sports oriented in our family either. High school age is a lot busier for us. We don't do much sports wise except for our homeschool sports program which does swimming 1x per week in the fall and spring, and volleyball 1x per week during the winter. But with my 19yo (2nd year cc), 17yr old (sr), and 14yo (8th), we do 2 different music lessons/wk, musical theater 1x/wk with all 3, art, choir, orchestra, coop Am Lit for 17yo, AWANA for younger 2, Boyscouts & writing class for youngest. Believe it or not, it all works out. My 2 younger kids are VERY artsy (can you tell?), and my middle child is getting Performing arts credit for her choir, orchestra, violin, and theater. Most of everything is withing a 5 mile radius, so I'm not going very far. Dad is totally in charge of boyscouts, so I don't concern myself with that. There is no wiggle room for any other activities period, but thats ok. This is a season of life, and everything I have each child doing is with adults that are having significant positive input into their lives, and are activities that they need to challenge and stretch them right now in ways that I cannot. Anyway...I digress. Bottom line. Don't run yourself into the ground, or feel guilty for not doing so. I sure didn't when my kids were that age. My kids are "purposefully" busy at this stage of their life, and I facilitate that. But at the age of your kids, they ran around, played, built forts, scootered...to their hearts content. Just make sure there is plenty of time for that and all will be well. Kayleen

1: A box of "big" cheezits sitting on the entryway ledge 2: pile of clean laundry in the middle of the entryway 3: vacuum cleaner on it's side on the living room floor where someone knocked it over 4: Oldest dd's Calc 2 book from cc on the loveseat 5: bag of "pennysticks" pretzels from the $ store on the floor right next to me mmm can anyone tell my house is not exactly pristine at the moment?

yep, I did tons of research a few years back. T-mobile is cheapest, with tracfone running neck and neck. I use T mobile, and it works great for me. Phooey on those 25c/min or $1 a day thingies. tracfone probably has better coverage overall, if you are traveling, because they buy coverage from other services, but my T mobile has been fine. Well, I did find out that I can't make calls from down in the ravine by the Rose Bowl where my son takes golf classes, but oh well.

I recommend http://www.practicespot.com/home.php lots of great stuff, & ideas for practicing. The founder of the website has some great books as well: http://www.amazon.com/Practiceopedia-Music-Students-Illustrated-Practicing/dp/0958190534/ref=pd_sim_b_28 http://www.amazon.com/Until-Youve-Done-Your-Practice/dp/064640265X/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_a

Ha- when I first read this, I had about 6 teenagers (ages 14-19) jumping around me getting ready to go outside to play hide and seek (3 mine, 3 others).....literally the first thing that went through my head was....do teenagers count?? Then I clicked on it and said "rats, guess not". so no animals in the room, but 2 in the kitchen (guinea pigs), and 6 animal/teens outside :o).