:iagree: with them being an artificial construct. It does seem, though, that even ruling out the high functioning autism diagnoses that didnt exist decades ago...that autism is increasing. I would be interested in knowing if that wasnt the case...but it does seem that that particular bunch of symptoms commonly known as autism is on the rise. I think it is rather naive to think that the Federal Government has no agendas. They are fully in cohorts with Big Pharma. :iagree: Just because each case is unique and we all know individuals who have autism with and without vaccine correlation....doesn't discredit or make those who claim the opposite to be morons. I also get frustrated at the logic in thes threads where everyone seems to want to defend a position, instead of just keeping an open mind. There are keys to autism we obvioulsy havent found yet, but there's no need to ignore the obvious facts. I would trust mothers' experience over biased Big Pharma studies anyday. If hundreds, no, thousands of mothers are saying their kids was not the same after this or that vaccine....well, why won't be take them seriously ? Doesnt make sense to me. That is "science" gone really wrong. The only benefit with giving a set of symptoms a long name is that then they can devise a treatment for it. So...it can be of benefit if you wish to milk the system to get treatments, or concessions for your child with messy handwriting for example.....but is of no other value whatsoever. Messy handwriting is no more a disease than ADHD is a disease - it is a set of symptoms. In the case of ADHD, it can be medicalised and millions of $ made out of it. In the case of dysgraphia, I guess without a label kids cant be put aside for extra handwriting practice, as they were back a few decades, because it would be considered some sort of discrimination nowadays. I do not think all people are cynical in their need to put names to things...but there is, I agree, a rather extreme tendency to name things nowadays. As if we are all meant to be absolutely average at everything and if we are above or balow, it is a condition needing some sort of support. I think we also tend to want to find pat answers to feel comfortable- and often, to find something or someone to blame. And its not that simple.

Once upon a time I noticed curriculum. Now I am no longer curriculum focused- I dont even visit the curriculum board more than once a month. SO, no, I dont notice curriculum in peoples' posts anymore. What I notice I guess is the age of their kids (because it is relevant in many a conversation), the country they come from (if not the U.S.) and sometimes their religious inclinations (eg pagan). I like the quotes people use too.

Rolling carts here too. I started with the whole system but it has kind of morphed into something pretty basic and more of a storage system...but it still works for us, even if we pretty much just start at the top where maths is, and move down the drawers during the day. It gives somewhere to store worksheets and textbooks, keep things for each subject together...and just a visual, tangible organisational system.

I remember my dad's compost heaps always growing tomatoes :) We had them randomly popping up all over the garden. Yes, it is just due to not enough heat generated to kill the seeds. You can either just tolerate them or fine tune how you build and keep your heap to make sure it generates enough heat. I am not sure it would depend so much on environmental temperature- the composting process is heat generating. It could be that you have too much green ratio to brown, or vice versa. There are also compost potentiators- herbs which accelerate composting. I seem to remember comfrey is one.

I'm in the HECK NO department. My brother is uncircumcized which was unusual back them and my parents received flack about it but stood by their decision. Dh is circumcised. I guess ds worked out he wasnt at some stage- we have honestly never had a conversation about it....and we are a family who has no problem with nudity or conversations like that. It's just never come up.

Thanks for telling me, Lisa :)

I love this, justamouse. This thread is making me wonder if I can move more in this direction with my 14yo ds. I woudl keep math and some structure, but I have always felt I failed at helping him feel inspired and motivated. I think its worth the risk to try.

Oh, I feel it's good therapy to be ignored regularly :) But really....even though I have written many a post I poured my heart into (not to mention a lot of time) and no one commented on....and my inner child sometimes feels disappointed.....my more mature adult says "hey girl, you are not the centre of anyone's universe, get a grip, you don't even know who read it and who didn't (someone may have read it and their whole life changed and they just never said anything :001_smile:) , and why are you so special anyway? " and all that. I try to keep it all in perspective and my sense of humour intact. I tend not to enter discussions that trigger me too much. Everyone's voice here is part of a symphony- we are not all going to receive accolades for our solo part or our voice amongst many....very often, anyway. But we can be part of the choir, the symphony. I love it. I enjoy the play of it. I have learned so much here - about so many things- and I enjoy hearing my own voice. Half the time I dont even know I *have* and opinion about many subjects until someone asks, and I see myself write it down.

Oh, thankyou so much everyone for the responses. They are more helpful than you can imagine! All of them. Yes, I would consider she is a natural writer. No, the course is definitely not mandatory. I chose it because she has done several others with home2teach before, and we felt it raised the standard of her writing- and since this is her final run with me, I wanted her to do this one- actually the tutor there said she was ready for it, and now has said she obviously made a mistake- she wasn't ready. I feel like she has been thrown in way over her depth but I wonder why it needs to be so difficult and how that much feedback, mostly negative, could be helpful. I am sure the tutor is frustrated as she doesnt understand why my dd doesnt "get it". I have just talked to her- poor thing, she is so glum about it all- and she said she knows how to write essays (and she does, generally speaking)- she just feels so confused about this one. She says she has learned about choosing appropriate sources, so it hasnt been a waste. We will give it another week, and probably finish it- but only allocate normal 1-2 hours a day to it, and not drop everything else anymore. Whatever she gets done, she gets done. I will consider a tutor and have a look around at what is available (and affordable). Otherwise, I think we will just go over a basic essay writing course and call it quits and let her work on the skills she will need next year, next year. I can't see what else to do. I am sure she will find her way, even if she has some gaps and catching up to do in specific areas- her overally attitude and approach, and natural aptitude for writing, is just beautiful. thankyou again. ANy more feedback is welcome.

I need some perspective on an issue thats just come up. Dd16 is due to go to what is the equivalent of 1st year college in February, to study Mass Communication/Journalism. It is actually a tech college (TAFE here) course that is accredited to flow into 2nd year uni- so it is a bridge for her. It won't be as difficult as normal 1 st year college- more like a high standard community college I guess. She's really excited about it. So...she is now doing home2teach.com's expository writing course. And doing abysmally at it. And because I am not supposed to help, and I havent helped, I can't tell why she is doing so badly. I have always had a lot of respect for home2teach....but when I look at what she is doing, I cant understand it. There is so much feedback she is overwhelmed (and I did send an email to them asking for the feedback to be broken down more because theres to much at once, and the teacher is doing that). It just feels like a mess. THe subtopics she chose were all so similar, she couldnt find enough informaiton on them, and the feedback is to put all teh info into one paragraph, then do 2 more- and that is many, many more hours' work. I feel terrible for putting her in something she doesn't appear ready for- but the class was recommended by them. The teacher has now recommended that for the next session she go back to Paragraph 2. She says she thought my dd had foundational writing skills she apparently doesnt have. Since this is our last chance to do this....I am really wondering what to do. I have 3 months to work with her- a little less actually- before our holidays. She was perfectly confident and loved writing till now. Now she is spending 6-8 hours a day on her writing assignments alone- no time for any other school- and still not doing well. Something is seriously wrong and I don't know what is the best path to take. I am not 100% sure if its all us, either. We havent done a heap of essay writing, but I thought we had done enough over the years, and she always seemed a natural at it to me. She hadnt done formal expository writing, although she has done plenty of research assignments- and I figured she would get two 6 week classes in to get that skill up before college next year. Now she is failing the first class and they dont even want her to do it again. And she is so disheartened. She has never worked till 10pm before, but she did 2 nights ago- only to get a lot more negative feedback (and some positive). Now I am feeling like a failure and wondering what to do next. I am just as concerned for my dd's love and confidence with writing, as with her skills. Perhaps she was overconfident (and perhaps I was overconfident in her skills?) and this is a healthy reality check, but still....this wasn't my intention! I am thinking that instead of putting her in another class, I take her through the basic skills myself, and leave the TAFE course to bring her into line with their particular style and expectation next year. Because however I teach her anyway, they will do it differently. Ugh. Any ideas? Suggestions? BTDT?

We have had years where we did a lot. Much more than I see most poeple here doing. However, I don't regret any of it. I did learn how to make good use of the time. I would knit if I wanted to socialise. I would go for exercise- just walking, sometimes do my yoga if we were in a park- alone or with another mum or two, while a class was happening. Sometimes I would have naps in my car. And often I would go shopping or exploring the area where the class was. The years we did science classes had a great Ikea and several other things that I wouldn't normally get to. It was a relief in February to realise we were not going to continue our last class- a science class for ds....and we let go of years of attending homeschool classes. I love it! They still do Scouts and gymnastics, but they are evenings- our days are free. But, I would never want to do all those years of classes any differently- many, many good memories for us all.

Its interesting- I cant imagine paying that much money- $250,000 - for any degree. Here is Australia its not common to board at universities- you just live nearby somehow and commute- and a normal undergraduate degree is more like $25,000 as far as I can tell. I was speaking to a man my age or so (40s) the other day, who got into the Notre Dame's post grad medicine program (which I have been considering). Its a 4 year post grad degree....and he is paying a whole $24,000 for it. Which doesn't seem like much to me compared to over in the U.S. (which is probably why its hard to get into it- its in high demand!) .

Thanks Negin...I just read the summary. Thats interesting. Here is the summary: Authors’ conclusions Screening is likely to reduce breast cancer mortality. As the effect was lowest in the adequately randomised trials, a reasonable estimate is a 15% reduction corresponding to an absolute risk reduction of 0.05%. Screening led to 30% overdiagnosis and overtreatment, or an absolute risk increase of 0.5%. This means that for every 2000 women invited for screening throughout 10 years, one will have her life prolonged and 10 healthy women, who would not have been diagnosed if there had not been screening, will be treated unnecessarily. Furthermore, more than 200 women will experience important psychological distress for many months because of false positive findings. It is thus not clear whether screening does more good than harm. To help ensure that the women are fully informed of both benefits and harms before they decide whether or not to attend screening, we have written an evidence-based leaflet for lay people that is available in several languages on http://www.cochrane.dk.

Asthma, eczema and low immunity are related. I 2nd the naturopathic visit. In the meantime, you could try fresh juices (freshly juiced carrots, apples, greens, beets) and some sort of high dose echinacea supplement. Olive leaf extract is also good, as well as Vitamin C. I would also feed him up on chicken soup and other nourishing foods (make real chicken stock from chicken bones) to help build his system. Also....dairy allergy is the first thing I think of with those conditions (what nationality is he? ) and wheat the 2nd. Could be others, though.

We have all had our own computers for years, and the kids have 2 each- one for games, one for school. SOme laptops, some desk computers. I have 1 computer and an ipad, dh has 2 computers- one for work, one in his bedroom. However....I dont think a single one was bought new. They are all 2nd hand and pieced together. Dh taught himself basic computer mechanics and can fix most problems and put together a whole computer from 2nd hand parts, upgrade them, etc. Sounds good....sometimes doesnt feel worth it (all the dramas when a computer breaks down)! I am saving for a Mac! ETA ds14 did buy his own gaming computer- 2nd hand

Outwardly compliant. But always following my own star and not interested in fitting in, particularly, to the mainstream. Quite happy to do whatever is necessary to do my own thing and not yours, thankyou very much :) Its not really rebellious though, if you design your life so that you dont have to do what you don't want and you dont have to deal with people you would rebel against if you had to deal with them, though, is it? I am quite easy going until you try to control and manipulate me into your way of thinking or behaving. I left home at 16, rebelling against a mother who decided to get strict way too late.

Congratulations. In our case, we would examine all our options. I would be thrilled to be a granma at any age. I love your approach. Love is all that matters, really. And it's always one day, one moment at a time. You don't have to bite the whole elephant at once.

I would look at the causes more, if possible, and try other things- you may have, of course, but I just wanted to mention it. Melatonin is illegal here in Australia. It is a powerful hormone, and there are disputes as to its safety. I did order some from the U.S. a few years ago, and it did really mess me around- night terrors and did not help me sleep, and I felt terrible on it- so it must be powerful. I would rather not mess with a kid's hormonal system except as a last resort.

What is your weakness? Sugar? White flour? For many people, just changing to wholemeal only products, and cutting out sugar, especially white sugar, is enough to drop off the weight. It's not cutting out carbs- its just changing to healthy ones.

I dont know how equal the opportunities really are....but what is wrong with gender biases in different careers anyway? Arent women and men naturally going to be attracted to different things due to their gender differences? Is there a problem with that? As long as those women who actually want to be engineers can be, and the men who want to be nurses, can be.....I dont see the problem.

I have YNAB and I prefer it to any others I have seen. But after buying it and spending hours setting it up...I found I prefer my own pencil and paper system and some charts I made for myself. We have a mixed cash and online income, mostly cash...I found it too fiddly to keep track of all the little bits all the time, on the computer...so I allocated each its place and simplified it all and use paper. I like my system :) but it's unique for my situation. If I wanted to do my budgeting on the computer again...and i may in the future... I would happily use YNAB, and one thing I like about it is the 'living off last month's income' part, and I am working towards that, myself. I think YNAB would be easier to use if you were already living off last month's income, then you could just put the income in one chunk.

I dont think you are silly at all being concerned about it- it was also my biggest concern when we started homeschooling. And, even though there were many homeschooling activities when we began....it still took a lot of work on my behalf to connect in to the right ones and get to the point where my kids actualyl had homeschooled friends- peopel we coudl invite over for playdates, and who woudl invite them. Since they had been at schol, they were used to that intense kind of socialising that school provides, and they were both conerned themselves. I did what you are doing and it was enough. We foudn that as long as they had connections several times a week- it was ok. It did have to be almost daily though. Not quite, but they needed to feel that they had something other than school to do on most days. Somehow we managed that. It was time consuming, exhausting for me at times, and sometiems expensive. As the years have gone by the issue has come up at times and we have always found a way around it. My kids are both very social and extroverted beings. I have always known that for us, having enough socialisation is crucial. Scouts has been the main social vehicle for several years now, and recently they have really clicked into their casual gymnastics class and everyoen there (all teens) has become quite close and started socialising together too. My kids have homeschooled friends...but we no longer attend any homeschool specific activities. Once they get older...they will really appreciate the freedom to have good friendships - to have time for good friendships- while their school friends are busy with homework. My dd16 has friends in school who are so envious of her amazing lifestyle, the number of camps she goes on and interesting things she has time to do. SHe now values it- wheras a year ago she was wanting to go to school. I would take the issue seriously...but if you do put in the effort and there are homeschool groups around...you will be fine. While we hoemschoolers tend to dismiss the socialisation issue....I think it is more because we know our kids are very capable socially, generally speaking...they can interact easily with peopel of all ages- so learning social skills is not the issue. But sometimes, having enough social opportunities and having friends CAN be an issue, and one we sometimes dont talk about enough. D14 has friendsin the street he plays with every day. Without that, he may not be content at home. Dd16 does not see her freidns every day but she sees them enough. ANd both now have Facebook and email to stay connected.

Ive been a bit down lately..mostly hormonal..but then I read this lady's book : http://www.mamagenas.com/ and I really don't think its going to be teh cup of tea of most peopel on these boards...but I really enjoyed it as a light read to remind me that its up to me nad life isnt meant to be so serious and all about hard work all the time. Its all about letting yourself play and have fun and pleasure, instead of focusing on your problems. It was a good reminder to me to not expect someone else (ie dh, kids et) to make me happy. It's up to me, and when I'm happy- when I take the time to do things I enjoy, even at the expense of all my normal sometimes boring duties- I benefit everyone with my joy. It was a reminder to me to connect with my girlfriends more, to go get a massage or my nails done just for fun, and to enjoy being a woman, being sexy even though I am married, and have some fun. Today I researched fashion for different body types to find out what bodytype I am (something ive been meaning to do for years), and then went op shopping, and came home and put on a fashion show for dh. (I am so not into fashion normally but I decided to have some fun). What brings you joy?

Rather than think in terms of punishment, I sometimes just think "how can we get through this without *me* losing it and behaving in a way *I* will regret". Is it your child getting angry and defiant that is bothering you, really, or the fact that you might also get upset and behave badly? Sometimes, *I* take a time out. Sometimes I send the kid for one. Sometimes, we just need a break from each other, and then when we reconnect, we can talk it through and let it go . And I agree with all the others about snacks, letting the kid get her own food, and naps. Especially for me :)

I think I am primarily visual, also, and I relate to what you are saying. I am a good speller but I have to "see" the word first- my visual memory is good. And, my husband reads me things out of the newspaper and I dont like it much because if it is interesting to me, I want to read it myself- and see it. However...I do wonder if we just start to lose our capacities as we get old (er :) ) and revert to what might be our naturally predominant or simply easiest one. That doesnt mean that as a kid we mightn't benefit from receiving informaiton and learning to retain it, through various methods. I am sure i learned a lot listening to my teachers in school...but as an adult, I have spent years learning visually rather than aurally. My kids love to be read to, yet are both quite visual. I cant stand being read to, but its more because I myself read very quickly and to hear someone's voice, I always feel I am wasting time because I could read it so much faster than they are saying it :) Still...sometimes I deliberately listen to audios and make myself slow down and listen..and I enjoy it.