Uh oh. Thats me! Has been for a couple of years now too. And I am 43. For the first time in my life though, my cycles are fairly regular.

Oh that is just one incredibly beautiful photo!

Vegetables. Stock up on lots of vegetables (not so much potatoes or avocados though). And low GI fruit like apples and blueberries. I am doing WW at the moment just to lose about 10 pounds (have lost 5 already in 2 weeks) and the only way to do it, I reckon, is to eat a very high bulky vegetable diet. Otherwise...I just get hungry. The Aussie WW has a whole slant on "filling foods" which is what I am focusing on. I am however getting used to feeling actual hunger between meals, which I am sure is actually a good thing but has taken a little getting used to. I use stevia powder to sweeten my tea because I don't mind the taste and wont touch artificial cancer causing sugar substitutes. I have started buying low fat milk for myself, just for my tea. And...I buy cottage cheese to use on my toast instead of butter (my normal breakfast is an egg on toast with cottage cheese, an orange juice, and 2 cups of tea. I made myself some sweet snacks for an ocasional treat (dont do that if you couldn't resist eating the whole lot though). Have fun trying new recipes. I treat it as a game and I enjoy the whole process. Its very motivating to go and get exercise too- because then you earn more points and you can eat more!

Was high raw for several months last summer here in Australia. Winter did me in- I just went back to cooked. However as the weather warms up here I am heading back towards high raw again but without being too fanatical about it. (Raw foodies can be rather fanatical!). Its one of those things- you don't have to even be high raw to benefit from eating more raw. I have lots of raw food "cook" books and love to explore new recipes. I have a Thermomix (high power blender that also warms my raw soups to blood temperature) and a dehydrator, so I have all the equipment (even though you dont need equipment, the recipe books tend to require it). I find going raw I tend to get rather obsessed with food, and rather attracted to raw fats...avocado and coconut. I certainly didnt lose any weight doing raw. Right now I am doing Weight Watchers to count my calories, but eating a very healthy high vegetable diet with it- about half raw. But my body is enjoying the break from the high (healthy) fat diet I normally eat, and I think going high raw would blow that for me and I do so want to lose a little more weight.

Hunky husband doin his thing- he's a templar knight fighting in the SCA

Hunky husband - Templar knight in the SCA doing his thing

We are virtually a day ahead of you down here. I woke up to headlines saying that some Australian charter boats had been smashed up there, bcause there was a tsunami. A group of Aussies on boats, junped overboard onto surfboards and anything that floated and got washed up to 200 metres inland- fortunately missing trees!

I had a lot of pain with my mum for many years too. Its ok now, but I have done a lot of healing work around it. I felt she betrayed me as a teenager - but over the years I have just learned to let go and forgive and see that she was actually doing her best. I have really learned to let go into my own mothering energy and tune into the universal mother energy found all over the place, from Mother Mary, to Quan Yin, to Amma, to Mother Earth...there are many manifestations of teh all loving Mother that we can use to heal that hurt. For Christians, even non Catholics, I think Mother Mary is incredibly beautiful.

I like what I have seen of the International Baccalaureate program and if I could have done it as a homeschooler, I would have. http://www.ibo.org/

As a non Christian I have enjoyed making friends with many Christians through homeschooling, and my son's best friend has been from a strongly Christian, though not evangelical, Christian family. They seem to have no problem at all with his religious status. I have myself gravitated towards making more intimate friends with those who are secular- and the kids have done the same. After some experiences of kids trying to convert them during coop classes...they became wary. Our coop was a healthy mixture of Christian and secular for several years...then came an influx of "heavy" Christians who would literally pray in the kitchen and talk "religiously" all the time....which really excluded those of us who werent Christian. They basically ended up with that coop to themselves because many of us left.

I noticed my weight creeping up over the last year and I had reached the upper limit of my healthy weight for height. 2 weeks ago (after reading soemthing here) I decided to join weight watchers. I am on 18 points a day which is apparently approximately 900 calories- plus I get a bit more for any exercise I do. It is making me realise how much I was overeating. I was probably eating twice that. I am feeling pretty hungry on Weight Watchers but it is nice to watch the weight go down again. I seem to gain and lose weight pretty easily. Probably about 1500 calories would maintain me at a healthy weight.

I use both Firefox and Google Chrome at the same time because that way I can have two google account open at once! I work form home and need one account up for that....and then my personal account up on the other. The kids keep raving to me about Chrome but I havent yet discovered why its so great. It might be faster but that seems to be splitting hairs to me. I am more comfortable with Firefox but I might transition over to Chrome once I understand why its considered so good.

I dont know but my ds14 was really, really obnoxious (as distinct from just normally obnoxious in his case) for a year or two and seems to have pulled through it- hes quite sweet lately. It was obviously the effects of the extra testosterone surging in his system which starts well before the physical signs of puberty. It definitely brought out the worst in him. It reminds me that that is the age the Australian abosrigines and other native cultures take their boys out to the wilderness and do tough boy things, initiations, with them. We found once ds got a part time job doing physical work, he changed. It was great for his self esteem. So perhaps some sort of meaningful work? Where he gets paid? I dont know..he might be a bit young...but it seems to be an age where many boys need to start feeling like they are being treated as more than just kids- even though they still act like them. They need responsiblities- even though they will often fail them. And they seem to need more time with dad and a bit less time with mum, in my experience.

I like my chocolate raw nowadays. It's rather expensive to buy new though (lovingearth.com.au is my favourite brand here in Australia) so I make my own. Yes, I have become a chocolate snob. ~Raw yummilicious MILK chocolate (with no dairy)~ 2/3 cup cashews 2/3 cup agave (I use ½ a cup) 2/3 cup cacao butter 1-2 Tbsp mesquite 1 tsp. vanilla 4 Tbsp. pure raw cacao powder Liquify cacao butter in sun (it's hot enough today) or dehydrator or double boiler. In vitamix blend all of the above, and pour into molds or onto wax paper in dish or into ice cube trays. Freeze ,cut, and enjoy! The recipe is flexible- I added a bit of coconut oil last batch. I use ice cube trays. It could be made without a blender if you left out the cashews, but it would have a much stronger, less “milky†flavour.

Wow, see, it took many of us YEARS to learn how to multi quote like that, so you have just taken to it like a fish to water :) Welcome.

My kids are not that old but I have an older stepdd. I think it is normal. I noticed my son pull away from me very strongly when he got his 1st girlfriend at age 14. When they split up he suddenly became very affectionate with me again. Someone said to me a while back that boys who are close to their mums like my son is too, often go from mum to their gf/wife - the new woman steps into the role in their life that their mother used to fill. It makes sense. I imagine we have to forge new relationships with them in new roles. I would hate to become the sort of MIL that always wants to be first in my son's heart...I think it is probably the job of the new wife to be that, and mother needs to take a back seat. But I am sure that is easier said than done and there is a grieveing process and transition period.

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Oh you are all so sweet...thanks for your beautiful thoughts. And I find you all very compassionate and kind - weve all been teenagers too, once, I guess. You know, I know I was doing that- not pretending she was perfect, but ignoring her dishonesty, not checking up on her when I was feeling she might be being dishonest. This has made me realise its better for us all that I keep my eyes open. DH never got a say in whether she went this weekend...he said his gut feeling was to say no when he heard...I thought he would say that and I told her yes anyway, so we have had some conversations between us! Anyway, its easy to be wise in hindsight. Yes...by cutting off the electronics, the idea is to bring her back to the family, bring her back close...not to punish her. Dh and I both want to spend more time with her. She will get them back when it feels right. We feel she needs the shock of being with herself rather than running off and chatting online with the very friends who encouraged or at least supported her dishonesty with us. She lied and manipulated to my face, using my generous trust of her to get her way- intending all along to do soemthing different frmo what she was telling me. It just hurts...the trust is broken because thats a natural consequence of being lied to, not because I am conjuring it up as a punishment. I am sure it will return at some stage but I wont create it either...it will be a natural outcome of rebuilding trust in the relationship. Yes, I like that idea. Yes, I could have and in retrospect should have checked with the other mum. Exactly. I left home at 16. I made a lot of mistakes. I didnt speak to my mum for years and I think our relationship has never been 100% repaired. I have a lot of compassion and I completely understand my dd's desire to do what she wants. Thats why I tend to be on the "easy" side rather than very strict. Yes I agree, Ester Maria. We are being quite real with her. We havent even got angry. We are both very disappointed and the feelings of betrayal are real. But she knows we love her anyway. We aren't really into guilt- we don't want her to hate herself. This will pass. I am sure she realises she made a big mistake...in getting caught! Her life centres around her social life and to lose it (temporarily) is huge for her, and yet she hasnt said blip about that. She understands. We will keep talking. Yes, thanks...I think I did feel that guilt at first...you know..."where did I go wrong"...but it passed pretty quickly. I am not really into wallowing in that stuff.

We are a pretty computer addicted family. For many years the rules for the kids were one hour after school on school days, and 2 hours each day on Saturday, Sunday, and holidays. But that has all slid by over the last year or 2- and because we homeschool and the kids socialise online a lot, I have been a bit lax about it. Dd16 has been texting a phenomenal amount. Ds14 spends way too much time on Facebook. Its time to crack down around here. I am disconnecting the modem at 9pm for starters because they have been online way too late at night. I guess its something all families need to find their own way with. Dd16 has just crossed the boundaries so far around here that she has lost all computer and phone priveleges until further notice. That should change her mindset considerably...but rather than doing it as a punishment, its more to snap her back into the family, because she was spending so much time with other people- online. I know her social group- they are ok- we are on her Facebook so we know what goes on....but its just too much. We all have our own computers though...so our issues may be different from yours.

to some extent anyway. Dd16- the angelic creature below..instead of visiting girlfriend for sleepover, went partying with older kids in another town. Overnight. Ugh. Girlfriend covered for her. She is safe and well and home. And sprung. Without her phone, ipod, computer, and any chance of a social life for..like..ever. But it hurts that she was so dishonest. That I trusted her even though I had a gut feeling not to. That things have now changed between us- that we cannot trust her. That instead of giving her the benefit of the doubt, we need to do the opposite. Shes a good kid. A young woman. Has too much of her parents' genes though. Both rebels. I guess I hoped we would escape this stuff. Its painful.

Lol, I know what you mean...and hairdressers are always telling me to come in more often...but I have YET to find one that will actually trim only that much. Once I let them at my hair, even for a tiny trim, they seem to go wild and its months before I have the courage to go back!

You ladies are not making me feel hopeful about the coming years! But then, my cycles have always been whacky and it's never been smooth sailing for me....what's a few more years? I am taking the herbs now, doing everything I can right now...but its never worked 100% in the past so I dont expect it to in the next few years. Just when I think I have it sussed, it goes and changes on me. I am 43. I dont even know if I am in perimenopause yet because my cycles have never been regular or predictable so changes in my cycle means not much. I do kinda like my cycles though.....but I think I will be ready to let them go when the time comes.

Jean, that is correct. Having a week's break every 2-3 weeks on echinacea is good, otherwise it does lose its effectiveness. But if you take breaks it works well, apparently. I am so hopeless at remembering to take my supplements that taking breaks is never an issue :)

Ever since dancer67 mentioned it I have been eating it off the spoon :)

A friend told me that a year or so ago...that one should cut their cut shorter as one grows older. Its just what one does- it was a direct jab at my longer hair at the time, and the fact she had just cut hers short. I just shrugged. I tihnk it depends on what one is trying to do. Some people want to look fashionable- as in, they are looking from the outside back at themselves and really care to be in the vogue. Others like myself actually just enjoy having lots of hair. I have always wanted to have long hair but my very fine hair doesnt handle length very well and shoulder length is the most I can ever get before it dries out and the ends split and it loses body. Since my mother always kept my very fine hair very short when I was a kid, I have loved to have it shoulder length as an adult. Whenever I cut it I regret it. At 43 I am not going gray- I probably won't go gray as I am so blonde. There is a certain freedom in having short hair and sometimes i am attracted to cutting it off...but last time I had it cut quite short a year or so ago I had several people actually say it looked fine but they preferred it long. I know a couple of poeple who have shaved their heads in their 40s - for spiritual reasons, to let go of the past- and I must admit that it is such a radical change and it always looks very impressive and I love the look. I do tend to notice that it is often the more hippie /feral older women in my area who have their hair long- but I dont mind being associated with them so its ok :) My girlfriends have long hair and some of them are older than me. When only a few people do it...its a faux pas. When lots of us do it- it becomes fashion soon enough anyway.