No abuse here, until my parents divorced when I was in my teens, and my mother got with an alcoholic man who was generally ok but would become verbally abusive when I became moody and difficult and he was drunk.I used to stand up to him, particularly when my mother wouldnt, and I copped a fair bit because of it. The situation was bad enough that I left home at 16, however I dont think of myself as coming from an abusive background until I was 15 or so and I left home at 16, so my younger years were not abusive at all.

I wouldnt use this for my reluctant writer because I dont want him to turn off writing even more. I want to encourage hi to enjoy it, so I never use writing as punishment. I have however had him at times write a gratitude journal for his daily handwriting practice each day. He has had to write 3 things he is grateful for in his life, in full sentences. He grew to enjoy it and wrote some beautiful things that really touched me. There are jewels in the heart of the most difficult child :)

I have a kid like that- he is 13 now and still a challenge. Does your son really feel you love him unconditionally, no matter how badly he behaves? Are you using withdrawal of love to control him? For my very sensitive son, getting into a negative feedback loop with him really upsets him- even if I feel righteously that he deserves my criticism or punishments. I have to step back, be the adult and stop the cycle, and start fresh, calm and open to him, try and see things from his perspective and stay patient. I would say your son isnt meaning, consciously, to behave in such a challenging way, so to punish him isnt really going to work because its not something he is trying to do, so he probably can't easily stop it either. Something in his life, combined with his unique way of seeing the world, is causing the behaviour to play out the way it is. Could well be that Dad is not so available and you are distracted without your pregnancy and not 100% present with him. All I know is that with my grumpy, beligerant,obnoxious (and sometimes totally gorgeous) son, when he walks into the kitchen first thing in the morning, I try and start fresh and love him as if he was my newborn baby, as if all the trials and arguments we have had lately havent happened. I just think that's what all kids need- a 2nd chance every single day, every moment if possible. I see my job as not stooping to his level and reacting to everything he does- trying to see from a higher perspective. Easier said than done, of course.

Dd15 uses her fingers- she only combs the conditioner through her hair- daily in the shower- with a big wide toothed comb. She then lets it dry without further combing. I use a wide toothed comb but dd always tells me it looks better (and it is curlier) if I dont comb it once it dries.

Good luck with the heat then! Thats a hot time of year. Good for the beaches though.

You are so talented! Wonderful poem, and spot on.

If you were diagnosed with H1N1 by your doctor, how was it diagnosed? I just received Mercola's latest newsletter (usually I just delete it but every now and then something catches my eye) It is saying that the official (U.S.)policy is not to test everyone anymore- just to say it is H1N1 if there are flu symptoms. It is saying that the 1000 deaths the govt mentioned were not laboratory confirmed. Since thousands die each year from flu anyway, it seems like a publicity stunt, a scare tactic, and not very transparent. I dont know. I just thought I would come here and ask- how were you diagnosed, and when?

Lol, my memory is really bad. It seems to be a common thing once you hit a certain age (40ish). I see the value in memory training. But the reason I have had my kids memorise poetry is because i just think its a beautiful thing to do. It is also really fun. I dont make it a heavy chore and we dont memorise dates or Kings and Queens of England (I tried- didnt stick, I wasnt going to die on that particular hill) but having an arsenal of poetry up your sleeve can be a wonderful thing. We only memorise poems we enjoy and it's not a chore.

Anastasia by Vladimir Megre (ringingcedars.com) The Ringing Cedars of Russia by Vladimir Megre The Mad Ship (Book 2 of the Liveship Trilogy) by Robin Hobb

I think its pretty normal. Its one reason I keep doing my yoga, wearing my earth shoes etc. Good posture is important and can at least defy the image of shrinking :) I have a tendency to slouch, and a yoga teacher told me the other day that my shoulders are beginning to get rounded. It was motivation enough for me to pick up my yoga practice and buy some good shoes to help my posture- I already have back issues. I would have her take calcium and magnesium and watch her posture, and get plenty of exercise that involves stretching and walking.

My 13yo likes to use going to school as a threat...he wants to go to school if we up his workload, or something like that. We called his bluff the other day and told him he could go...but he would still have to do his chores, and he would also have homework of course. He backed down :)

Well, for information on kefir and all teh things you can do with it, try this website http://users.chariot.net.au/~dna/kefirpage.html However, dont buy anything from him. I am sure he has good personal reasons but I and others made orders from him (back in January in my case) and he never sent them, and after the first apologetic email, never responded to my emails either.$70 gone on my part. However, the information on his website it good. See if you can borrow NT from the library. I use kefir whey for all my ferments and I have used many recipes from NT. Once you have done a few, you get the idea. I have made many drinks like ginger beer too. Like Rosie, I am not 100% sold on everything in the book, but I consider it a very valuable resource. Also, Wild Fermentations is a good book, but I have it on my shelf and actually havent used it yet :) You can join the Nourishing Traditions Yahoo group (called discussingNT)- it is extremely active and quite rigid about the philosophy (it can all get a bit cultish with NT- their way is the only way, everyone else is deluded etc- but the information is very worthwhile reading). There are a lot of good recipes in the files of this group and if you are just after recipes and the idea behind how to make cultured foods, you could have a look there. http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/discussingnt/ hth

I dont have that book but i have seen it referred to glowingly in other circles. Having a brief look at the principles, I think they seem very sound. I don't like to box myself into any diet rigidly unless I am doing a particular cleanse (have been doing a liver cleanse lately), and I have read widely and looked at many different diets (not for losing weight- for ultimate health). The Body Ecology diet seems a well balanced one to me. I love to play with cultured foods. I like to keep my sugar very low, although I do eat fruit and sometimes agave or a bit of honey. Healthy fats are a given and I changed them years ago. I have done the whole Nourishing Traditions thing, which is similar. I have been reading a lot about raw foods lately and experimenting with that. I like to play with these things. Yes, I think it would address yeast issues, definitely. I think you would only get healthier on it, particularly if you come from anything like a typical western diet. Whether you end up sticking to the principles rigidly, well, I think its always worth starting out following them strictly and then see how you go. It will do you no harm and probably lots of good.

I am Australian and I have been to the U.S. twice. Once when I was 7, and once when I was 13 :) I dont remember much about the visit when I was 7, except that my cousin wouldn't share her shiny climbing thing in the back yard. I also remember sliding down staircases on a pillow with my brother. In Australia, two story houses were much rarer than in Britain or the U.S., and we had never been in one before. At the visit when I was 13 I remember being surprised at how the news stations only told about local news. They didn't give you any international news, wheras in Australia you always got/get world news. I think that has probably changed nowadays but it really struck me then. Another thing I remember is that KFC had chips back in 1980 wheras Australian KFC didn't :) It was a big deal to me! The U.S. has a lot more variety in fast food joints too- I wished they had Taco Bell in Australia! I think Australia has most of the trends that the U.S. has- over consumption, obesity, over dependence on oil...just on a smaller and lesser scale.

Its easy. You use the information available, you combine it with your own intuition, common sense, and knowledge of your own family's unique situation. You recongnise they dont know more than they know and everybody is in the dark, ultimately.......and you either do something or nothing. You feed your family healthy food, get enough exercise and enough sleep, to maximise your everyday health. Its the unknown that freaks everyone out, but they dont know what they dont know, and they can only pretend to know. The government etc wants to protect itself so that no one can say "you didnt tell us", "you had the information and you didnt let the public know " etc etc. SO they are pumping out the information so that no one can turn around and blame them. You try and make decisions from a clear mind and not fear based emotions. Then you let go and trust and stop worrying. Because worrying just doesn't help. amd you are 99% likely to be in the 99% for whom its not such a big deal. And if you are in the other 1%, you wont know till its time to go to the hospital, and then theres not much you can do about it but do what you need to do. So, dont worry, because stress only weakens your immune system :)

5am- I get up and have early morning meditation time. 6am- chi kung practice in the garden 7am- kids and dh get up. Dh and I take cup of tea to the outdoor spa and have some time together. Kids have breakfast and do chores- some of which are in the backyard where we are, so we chat and connect with them. 8am Dh and I will often go for a walk, dd15 will also go for a walk (it is on her schedule- otherwise she is rather physically lazy) but she goes separately. Both kids will also do music practice in this time. 8.30/9ish both kids will be starting their maths and I will be generally in the room with them by now, usually turning on my computer and checking my email. They mark their own math- it is an online program- and redo anything wrong until correct. They will continue after math with LLATL and then Latin etc until it is time for out "together work". Dd is doing a multimedia course by correspondence as well as her normal work. 10.30ish- the time is flexible. The kids will usually grab a snack. In ds13's case, a huge number of snacks. He will settle himself on the couch, and dd will settle herself with her art in her chair, and I will sit in another chair opposite them. We start with memory work, poetry, then I will read aloud from a couple of books, and we will discuss them as we go. This is our favourite part of the day. By 12ish- after an hour or so- we are finished together work. I tend to go and make something for lunch- although quite often I will just make something for myself and leave them to get their own, as well. Depends what I feel like. Sometimes its our main meal, too. Ds finishes earlier than dd, and he will often finish soon after lunch. There is no official lunch break- we have it whenever its convenient, really. Then they go back to work. They only break long enough to eat, usually, and muck around a bit. Dd will often keep working till 2 or 3 pm. Then dd often goes to work- which is an accounting job across the road. She also has an art class one afternoon, and piano lesson another. Ds will go and play with kids on the street. I was napping around 1-2pm but I have postponed it till 3ish now so I can jsut be aorund in teh early afternoon while dd especially finishes her work. 5pm Dh and I have another spa together. 6pm, both kids are coming home usually and we have dinner, and the kids clean up. 7pm we watch a documentary (a recent addition to our schooling, since we have what you call cable TV and so many great documentaries. ) and often a program we are hooked into like NCIS. We dont watch commercial TV at all. Bed is about 9pm for the kids and I. We all read. Dh works evenings and some mornings. On Wednesdays, I cook a vegetarian lunch for dh's clients- between 15 and 20 people. The kids take turns helping- not usually much cooking, but serving and cleaning up afterwards. I pay them. I clean house, mark schoolwork and do chores, shopping etc usually in the afternoons sometime, or on weekends.

I guess its all about balance. My parents also sent me to private school and did nothing but pay the fees. Didnt even check if I did my homework, ever. I was a good student though- always could have been better, but I always did better than average just doing enough. The presumption I would go to college, since i come form an academic family, ended up with me not going. I left home at 16- still finished school though. Rough time for me (my mother, recently divorced with a new alcoholic boyfriend, kicked me out for seeing an older man). However...I still did well, amazingly. I lean toward lots of support, then stepping back and letting them experience some failures, and see what they want. Our family style is such that we all do our own thing a lot of the time, and then come together for meals, for together work, for outings..but everyone explores their own interests a lot. I try and make sure I am not always breathing down my kids' necks or wanting to know what they are thinking. I leave them space for their own privacy, their own inner world. Finding a direction to point Dd15 in , though, has been agony for me and its been hard to know how much to help. I do feel though that any direction is better than none, because you can always change courses, but its hard if you haven't even got a start anywhere. I think its scary being a homeschool mum and taking the whole responsibility onto your own shoulders. At least in school, there is no one person to blame if somehow it all goes wrong. I remind myelf though that there are safety nets- many courses and opportunities for kids who drop out of school. I doubt we would need them, but they are there. All is not ever lost. At the very least, I am sure they will look back on these years with fondness for the lifestyle they had.

Many people seem scared of crowds, I have heard. I love crowds, because in a big crowd, I am completely anonomous. I am nobody. I love it. It's smaller groups, where I am noticed, that freak me out more. Not that I avoid them too much, but thats where my fear comes up.

I try not to let my fears overpower me, and I deliberately will try and make sure I do something to overcome them...but of course there are still some. I have a fear of being out in the wide ocean on a boat. I am ok anywhere I can see the shore, or feel I could swim to shore. But out in the ocean, I feel too reliant on a boat. I like to be more reliant on my own skills, IYKWIM. I also have a terrible fear of scary rides at shows. Even large ferris wheels have me sitting on the floor of the carriage concentrating on my breathing and not looking over the edge. Again, its because I am not in control of my own safety- I am dependent on a machine, and they are fallible. The same with lifts. I once watched a horror movie as a child where the lift cable snapped, and I have never liked lifts since. However....only last week I was out on the ocean in a boat, whale watching, and it was so worth it. On the way out there I just sat and breathed, as the swell was quite big.I wondered why no one else seemed at all concerned. But seeing a mother humpback and her calf swim around us for half an hour was worth it. I also catch lifts regularly. Havent been on a ferris wheel for a while. Dh has a fear of sharks, because two of his uncles were eaten by them when he was a kid. But he still dives and snorkels. Ds13 has picked up a fear of sharks too. But, when it comes to the crunch, he will still jump back in the water.

:iagree: I dont think the labels have caught up with the huge number of issues that are developing in these last decades, anyway. Dd has always been sensitive to sugar. No, not diabetic, we checked that. It just makes her nauseous sometimes, gives her stomach cramps, headaches. She even gets a bad headache from eating too much starch, like rice. The doctor doesnt have a clue and therefore dismisses it, as if it isnt happening, because she cant explain it or find a test that gives it a label. Dd just has to learn to live around it. I was very careful about introducing foods- especially dairy and wheat- to my babies, because I knew all about allergies, although I apparently dont have any- dh does. I thought I had done well but this last year both dh and ds13 have developed a gluten- perhaps only wheat - sensitivity, and ds13 has developed a lactose intolerance. There has got to be something seriously wrong in the food chain for this to be happening on such a huge scale. I am learning to cook from scratch with my new Thermomix, so we can eat well. We are eating much more fruit and vegetables and unprocessed foods.

Plenty of time. They have plenty of chores but they don't take long if they just get in and do them (half a hour? ). And apart form dishes, they are first thing in the morning. Ds13 likes to start early and get his work over and done with ASAP, so he is often finished by lunchtime. He has friends on the street- he is out once the school kids come home, and doesnt come home till about dark (6ish). Dd15 is more slow and steady- and not a morning person- so she sometimes doesn't finish till 3, and then works- but she likes her work so she doesn't mind. But neither do anything on weekends except scouting activities when they come up. It leaves a lot of free time. We dont tend to do breaks during school time. They happen naturally when one or the other decides to go and make popcorn or something, but we don't have official ones- we just keep going, so as to finish sooner.

For us, it started as educational reasons for my son, but now as we go through highschool our reasons are mainly social. We have a good school nearby. However, there are still drugs there, and there is a culture of binge alcohol drinking throughout Australian highschools. My kids are both very extroverted and social creatures. Dh and I just prefer to help them mould their own lives rather than plonking them with a whole bunch of others who don't want to be there, and don't know anything else. Also, it just seems like a waste of time to do the leaving exams here. You end up with a qualification that means you can get into university, but there are many other pathways. I am looking at a TAFE (CC) course that is a one year very practical course in mass communication, gives dd a Diploma in Journalism, and then if she chooses to go onto uni, she goes straight into 2nd year. It means she can have another year at home with me and we can tailor her course for her life. I think we are not as constrained here by the "system" you have over in the U.S. There are many ways to get jobs other than university, although that has become ridiculously important and still doesnt guarantee work at the end of a 4 year degree. Here it's the tradesmen that make the big bucks nowadays. And in the IT industry I guess. Homeschooled kids can get into uni many ways, including just waiting a couple of years and going as mature age students. So that leaves us with more freedom to spend these maturing teenage years doing more than just studying.

What a wonderful thread. Something has happened to me in the last few months..I have lost my incredible enthusiasm for homeschooling. It's not that I am depressed, or even burned out. I still want to do it, too. But I am not living and breathing it any more. I dont research curriculum any more (amazing, I know). What I have found is that it is plain hard work at this stage. My dd15 works independently...but so what. If I dont interact with her and discuss her work with her, I feel I am really letting her down. My ds13 has just started working independently...its a relief..but I can easily fall into the trap of getting busy doing other things now, instead of staying with them and interacting. Its hard work. Its tedious. I hate marking. It takes all my self discipline to do it, then MAKE them redo bad work etc. I have many passions and interests. I have to actually remind myself now that homeschooling is my job. I have had to postpone my afternoon rest till the kids have finished work in the afternoons, so that we can keep interacting, talking, and also so that I can check they are actually doing the work. It doesnt really get easier as they get more independent, because the stakes get higher, and they still need that challenge of interactive discussion, as momof7 says. I love the discussions about philosophy and history and literature. Sometimes I love the Latin too, although my dd is ahead of me now. It just all gets terribly tedious at times, though. I am SO glad we have done lots of grammar, they can spell well, they are about grade level with math, and we have read zillions of good quality books and discussed them together. I am also glad we have done Latin classes in the past, and they do a science class now- that is a huge load off me and the teacher does a great job- at the level my non-sciencey kids need. I am glad we did a lot of structured writing in the past, and narratives etc As for online classes....yes, I usually give up. Dd15 did a writing class I thought was fantastic. She did the 2nd one too. Then she just begged me not to have to do any more. She wants to learn with me- or from books. She hates online classes. So much for that. She did a year of French online. Waste of time. I have really struggled not knowing what direction to take with my older in particular. She is extremely artistic...and extremely social. She is also a good writer. Only this week, someone was talking to her, asking her what she is going to do, and she said, as usual, I dont know. The person then enthusiastically encouraged her to go into Journalism, because she could do her photography, her writing, and be very outgoing with it all, socially. She also has a good general knowledge because of all the history we have done. She got very inspired....and I am blowing on those sparks of enthusiasm with all my might, because now we have a PLAN. A sense of direction. Its a relief...even if she changes her mind, it's ok, it's a start. ON the other hand....the kids have amazing freedoms, a great social life, wonderful opportunities. Dd15 has a part time accountancy job looking after a friend's books...and gets paid an adult wage for an adult's job. SHe now catches public transport and visits people and places. Today, Saturday, she went surfing with friends at dawn, and is now at an art workshop. Tomorrow she will go with her boyfriend to a Scouting function. Ds13 is on a farm this weekend with his best friend, seeing newborn lambs and experiencing their lifestyle, and going to a rodeo. Last week we took a holiday up to Ningaloo Reef, a 12-14 hour drive through the barren scrub and desert and amazing wildflowers, to see the incredible tropical reef, coral, whales, manta rays etc. It was awesome. We have an amazing lifestlye, the kids have it so good, largely because of homeschooling. I feel its all going to work out but its not a smooth straightforward plan, thats for sure. Things change, are in a flux, all the time. I want another year with my dd15 before she goes off to TAFE(our equivalent of CC I think) so I can teach her all those things I want to teach her before she flies off. She is itching for her freedom- she wanted to go to school next year, but I am very keen to keep her home. So many books I wanted her to read that I dont know if we will realistically have time for. I feel a bittersweet pang as my kids grow up. All the doubts about whether I have prepared them well enough for the world or academically come up. I feel I can see a time in the not too distant future where it will be just Dh and I going on our holidays...so we are trying to fit in some extra ones now. We want to teach our kids how to live, not just how to get a good paying job- they are motivated to make money already. But these are the years of mature discussion, and immature emotions, then logical arguments, then totally irrational outbursts. I miss being able to put my son on my knee when he cries, and hug him. That was so much easier. Now he stands aloof and gets upset and storms around and I draw him through with patience and long discussion where before a cuddle was enough. Anyway, it's all worth it and I love these years. The academic side I find harder. There is a lot of joy though.

It makes a pretty coleslaw (you do have coleslaw in the U.S., right ? ). Chop the cabbage finely and add in grated carrot- thats the foundation. Other things you can add are currants, chopped apple, chopped onion, scallions, grated beetroot....you get the idea. And then smother it all in some sort of mayonnaise or coleslaw dressing. (I usually mix mayo half and half with yoghurt).

We have a teacher. You can also learn with just the DVDs, if you are motivated. One possibility is to find a teacher for your oldest student, or for yourself- then teach the rest using the DVDs, which you automatically have to buy anyway as part of the course (for revision).