I agree..fever is not in itself a problem. It is a sign that your body is healthy enough to do its thing. The body raises its temperature to kill off pathogens. Automatically lowering a fever is acutally a problem for the body because then it has to use other methods to kill off the pathogens...or we end up on antibiotics. Even a high fever is ok...I think ocasionally babies and small children can fit with high fevers so they like to watch them. But apart from that, fever is a good thing. YOU dont even need to know what its killing- just be happy that something you dont need in your system is being killed.

Yes, you are. We all manipulate all the time. I think sometimes we just want our kids to know they are loved even if they are pouty and we cajole them back to a happy place. But ultimately, it is manipulation and often reflects our own discomfort at having those feelings ourselves, and wanting to not have them.

Dd is doing a Diploma in Mass Communicaitons specialising in Journalism at TAFE. Its designed for foreign students coming ot study here apparently but she is welcome and wont be the only local. And it transfers straight to 2nd year uni if she decides to go further. We are thrilled about it but will see what happens when the time comes!

I prefer to let the kids have their own feelings and not demand they obey on that level, generally speaking. I dont know if you can healthily force a child to be happy about being punished, honestly. It probably disconnects them from their true feelings. I don't care how grumpy they are, if they are doing their chores, it's not a problem. Anger is ok here, grumpiness is ok here, but thats probably because dh and I have both done years of therapy learning to get in touch with our feelings after childhoods where were werent allowed to feel or show any negative emotions. Negative emotions are ok here. We don't feel its morally wrong to have anger- its natural. Whats not ok is dumping them or manipulating people with them. But just seeing through that is usually enough- and as Laura says, kissing can work just as well to diffuse such emotions as a whole negative tirade at the child. And...we dont buy into them, either. Sometimes dd, who is a fairly obedient child, gets sulky. Mostly, we ignore it, tease her, empathise, and if necessary, tell her firmly we won't be manipulated. She cant do it for long though. She's naturally too happy. Ds however can do the bins, the dishes and anything else he has been reminded to do several times, while emitting a tirade of complaints. We just cheerily ignore it. The danger with him is engaging with him over it. I think there is a lot of childhood and teen stuff that can be dealt with with humour and light heartedness and extra affection, rather than extra discipline. And who doesnt feel pouty sometimes?

I really love the 4 year cycle, and keeping both kids on the same year. Its like having a theme running the whole year- for all 3 of us, since our read alouds will be related to the history theme mostly. We started late though and we are only going through it twice- and this year is my dd's last homeschooling and so we are skimming lightly over the Rennaissance and focusing more on Modern. Ds will get the same because I prefer to keep them together. Then I will probably take him right back to Ancients next year simply because he likes the gory stuff. I think people often get hung up on doing the 4 year cycle perfectly and I know I was anxious about it in the beginning. But you just dive in where you are and move forward. You cant actually mess it up really.

My experience may not be much help either as I am in Australia, but I am definitely treading alternative pathways here. My problem for a long time was not knowing what dd wanted to do. When we found a course that suited, it all fell into place. Its not a university course. It is a Diploma in Mass Communications, specialising in Journalism, at what we call TAFE, which is our equivalent of your community colleges. It's a one year full time course and she has been given a verbal acceptance, based on...well, just my verbal reassurance she could handle it, really! The guy who runs it was thrilled she was a homeschooler and it went from there. The thing is, the course leads directly to 2nd year university if she chooses to go on. I would never have thought we could land on our feet so well....well, we are not there yet, but we have a plan! She has one more year with me homeschooling and we feel really freed up to focus on what we want to focus on - and we will will focus on writing and modern history, to help with the journalism aspect. But we don't "have" to do anything and that feels great! I hope to make time to do more cooking and home skills. My next child is non academic and who knows what will unfold for him? Having experienced what we have for my older...I actually have some more trust that the universe will unfold exactly as it is meant to for him...I just need to read the signs and not come from a fearful place. Honestly, with my daughter, I had her to some course at the CC, including a cert in English and Maths equivalent to y11 (when she was in year 10), and she is currently doing a cert in multi media. But she didnt end up really needing them to get into the course she is getting into. I guess thats all to say maybe a little more trust that ultimately you are not in control of it all and there are many forces at work in our childrens' lives than we can see.

Doea she have her own desk area? My rather disorganised and chaotic happy go lucky sweet natured dd15 has a desk with a computer on it, all her school stuff, and a calendar with huge squares facing her. She writes everything ont he calendar. She is slowly working it out for herself. I was terribly unorganised until I found Flylady. It did help me. I was in my mid 30s though! But I do think my kids have benefited from my change in attitude (as in, I stopped blaming them for being messy and worked on my own mess, and helped them with theirs). What about teaching her to write a daily or weekly to do list? For things other than school? My dd15 actually plays piano every day without being nagged...I actually find that strange and i have to remind my son all the time to do his practice. However I got through piano lessons and up to a good grade by not practicing very much. I dont think there is a clear cut answer...or at least I havent found it. Its a work in progress. My dd also wants to be more organised, and that seems to be some motivation- just not enough. I have had to remind her a fair bit to finish reading a book these summer holidays because she is doing an online writing course in U.S. time- holidays here..and she needed to finish it by Monday. She did it, and she wanted to do it, but she couldnt summon trhe motivation all on her own, when we have beach weather and a lazy summer energy happening here. I had to remind her- well nag her- every day, to the point of not letting her visit friends till it was done. But now she is into the course, I don't have to remind her. I tihnk we often expect too much of our teens in some ways..and perhaps not enough in others. They are just learning to be adults. I was never born organised...my dd is ahead of where I was at, but then, she has my experience to build on. My mum never tried to help me at all.

We haven't. We have considered it. For us, its not the school...since we homeschool...but the neighbourhood and the kids roots here. We have sacrificed a fair bit to rent in a good suburb rather than buy in a poor one, so that the kids grow up in a good environment. It still feels worth it to us- we dont regret it. My stepdd was moved to the country by her mum and had to change schools...it didnt work out well. The mum wanted to buy and could only afford the country so took her kids out there, and it didnt work out well at all. Having said that...I tihnk its important to follow your own heart and sometimes these things do work out for the best.

I agree with Joanne. I too have a daughter that I can just hand a list to, and she will do it. Not necessarily happily though- she too enjoys interaction. But she will do it. She is also so used to me hjaving to be with her brother, she has learned to just work independently. But ds14 this last year is finally able to do more work independently. I remember coming to these boards when he was 9, 10, 11, 12! and asking how to get him to work more independently. Some people respond with the discipline aspect. And others say...be with him, he still needs your guidance. Its always a balance, but I really have never been able to leave him for too long. He wants interaction. He has LDs though and has a terrible time reading instructions, so it often backfires when I do leave him to work independently, because he is highly likely to have completed everything...wrongly. What works best with my son is to sit and go over what he needs to do with him- one subject at a time. If I tried to go over all his work at the beginning of the day..whoah, he just wouldn't remember anything. I got into the Charlotte Mason way of short lessons, and that helped. I try and mark his work immediately so he isnt left hanging and gets the interaction he craves. For years I sat with him and brought his attention back to his work over and over and over. You need to be so patient. I dont think it is a discipline issue necessarily. It can be...but with boys especially...not necessarily. Its just how they are. It has got easier. But only slowly.

I try to make sure they get plenty...for a long time it was 10-11 hours, but now that they are teens its not so easy. They want to stay up late and will sneak their ipods under the blankets to play on Facebook. On schooldays they have to get up at 7am, on non school days, 8am. We are just not into sleeping in. But what I find is that if they have had several late nights and have a day with not much on, they will catch up with a nap during the day or an early night. I have read 9 hours and 15 minutes for teens, and that seems to be about right. I keep track of whether they are getting enough. I definitely notice if they don't- my son in particular gets irritable. Well, more irritable than his normally irritable self, anyway.

Have you any idea how many brilliant people didnt do well at school? It doesn't appeal to them. It doesn't mean his life is wasted. If you kicked him out of homeschooling for not doing his work, why do you think he would work at school with even less supervision? He is a normal, healthy kid with an attitude, by the sounds of it. School doesn't appeal to him and he is not motivated by your approval or grades- many kids are . Thats not actually a bad thing- he may be more of a free thinker and care less what people think. He is ok. I think you need to accept him more, accept yourself more, stop taking it all so personally (harder said than done, I realise) and just look for the next step. If you react to him all the time, you destroy your relationship with him. Grades are not worth having a bad relationship with your kid over. I don't know the answer..if the only outcome that makes you happy is good grades, there may or may not be a clear answer. Maybe you can withdraw priveleges, give pep talks or whatever. But if the outcome is a kid who is finding their own way in life, who knows he is loved for who is is no matter what- and not what grades he gets- and feels free to follow his own dreams and not yours for him....then maybe he is on a path unique to him and perfect and you just didn't realise it yet. A 16yo friend of the family came to us for counselling recently because he kept playing truant and just didnt want to be at school. His mum was at her wits end so she brought him for counselling with my dh, who wanted me there too. Dh spoke to the kid, found out his aspirations, and within an hour the kid had realised himself that in order to get where he wanted to get- which was an entrepreneur of sorts...finishing the last weeks of school this year was hugely important. Then he could go to community college next year instead of school. He was happy. His mum was so fixated on university and this kid had lost all aspiraiton to please her and do what she wanted along with his child's body. I tihnk it helps to step back from what we want for our kids when they get older, and get in tune with them and what they want for themselves, even it its not conventional and they dont have a clear picture.

Welllll, it depends on how much you want to take your own health into your own hands...and how much you want to just get rid of the symptoms. Excema is a condition that comes from within your body, and is a sign of being out of balance....usually allergies, often exacerbated by stress. My dd15 had it around her eyes a few months back..we tracked it down to oranges and sugar. It took a few weeks but it went when she cut them out. Now she can have them occasionally. For some it is dairy, others wheat. I too would use coconut oil. I also buy my dd some creams that I think are only available here in Australia- Moo brand...but you must have the equivalent over there. All natural. But thats me...I wouldn't use cortisone.

Trying to make school fun burned me out very quickly in the early years. So I surrendered to trying to pick curriculum to suit the child, trying to keep things interesting overall, balancing dry subjects with ones they preferred, having together time every day on the couch, having several outings a week....but not bothering to make maths or grammar "fun".

Definitely a happy, sunny yellow. Yellow is also the colour of wisdom and intellect in many cultures.

What has motivated me is getting that wonderful education myself alongside my kids. I find it inspiring. I was never homeschooled myself so I dont have anything to compare it to..but my picture of textbook type hoemschooling is the child sitting and working on their own a lot. I find with the WTM type classical- not that I follow it closely but it has been my inspiration for years- it requires my attention and involvement but that is a fantastic thing. Reading SOTW aloud on the couch has left the most wonderful childhood memories. Struggling with Latin together, learning about artists, reading classical literature, trying science experiments...all wonderful shared experiences. I would try and combine your kids for everything but the basics, even if they have to work on different levels. Stay on the one history year and do the one year of science..and combine for those subjects as much as you can. The joy of learning together has outweighed the exhaustion on my part....and given us common experiences that will last us a lifetime of conversations.

I would focus on eating healthy primarily, and only secondarily on the weight loss. If you are overweight because of a habit of poor food choices...it only makes sense that changing to healthy food choices will help you lose weight. It doesnt mean you need to go hungry or only eat bland foods- you just need to head in a new direction and try new things. For starters, things like coffee creamers are full of horrible things- put milk or cream in your coffee- much better for you. Change to wholegrains, discover some new recipes with lots of vegetables, eat normal, whole foods rather than foods that have been processed. If you eat breakfast, eat the healthiest cereal you can, or have eggs on healthy bread. Dont be hungry, eat well... Hunger is often a sign that ourbody is craving nutrients that just dont come in packaged and processed foods. We keep feeling "I want more" because our body wants something its not getting. Are you eating greens? Lots of greens help conquor food cravings because our body really needs them. Fruit can help with cravings for sweet things. Artifical sugars, trans fats...these things are in a lot of processed foods...and they mess with our metabolism.

On school days I like to have our main meal at lunchtime. The kids and I will have meat sometimes, which dh won't eat, so we tend to eat that while he isn't around. In the evening we eat about 6pm, but there have been times when for long periods we would eat closer to 5pm. I see nothing wrong and a lot of benefits of eating earlier, particularly with younger kids.

I dont know if I am lucky or unlucky but my dd15's hormonal issues are no where near as bad as MINE! She is sweet, easygoing, and rarely gets upset at anything, and when she does its not for long. ME however...grrrr, I can get so darned irritable as well as fly off the handle angry....although most of the time I am ok. I suspect it's a personality thing.

I grew up loving birds and my whole family used to identify and watch them. Dh isnt into it, though, but I sitll chatter away and tell him teh names of birds...I often have to look them up because I am in a different part of the country to where I grew up. The kids are not so much into it either, but still, I tell them stuff anyway. Around here the other thing I watch and identify is wildflowers. Western Australia has THE most amazing wildflower season around September/October and that is one thing i have managed to enthrall my kids with, and even dh comes for wildflower walks with us sometimes. We look for fairy orchids or spider orchids, we touch the trigger orchids and watch them clam up...we learn the names of the pixie mops and dozens of others, and all the banksias. It really is amazing.

If fresh tomatoes taste bland and icky...I put them on a windowsill and let them really ripen to the peak at room temperature in the light.....seems to bring the flavour out. But you guys have me thinking I shoudl be canning....right now where I live the Italian delis are selling 10kg boxes of tomatoes for about $5 each.

A couple of things. One is that my experience is that when I am not happy, not following my heart, struggling with depression, overwhelemed...its very easy to make dh the scapegoat. The answer is to heal myself and focus on my needs and wants...not try to fix the relationship. You have 4 small kids- thats not an easy thing. On the other hand, relationships go through their seasons and sometimes need plain work. Dates, communication, therapy, whatever. We have a spa together, or two, every day...it's our communication time. Otherwise it just wouldnt happen. Sometimes we fight and argue..but at least communication is happening. Dh and I are both fiercely independent and often go through changes and we have to adapt to each other. In the last 6 months I have gone out and spent a lot more time with my friends and made a more independent life for myself- because his work means he socialises a lot and I dont relaly want to be part of that very much. It has at times upset my dh that I go out some evenings or whatever, but it has also meant he has taken me less for granted and thats a good thing. Of course love can return to a marriage. It just helps to see clearly what is going on so you can work on the right issues and not the wrong ones.

We call ourselves Australia- we don't tend to think of ourselves as "Australasia " or "Oceania" except as a geographical reference and context when we come across it.

Yup, Im with Anne. But of course Americans have to do it with their natural accent anyway. But I dont think the "awe" bit sounds right at all.

No, I force things on my kids all the time. I could probably get away with no forcing with one of my kids, and we would still have a harmonious lifestlye and she would still learn etc. But the other? I have looked at it over and over and wondered whether to unschool him, but I keep coming back to the "other" way...that of setting boundaries, having reasonable expectations, and enforcing them. I do though take their tastes/personalities into consideration when it comes to choosing curricula. In the end though...sometimes they just gotta do it.

Lol, I KWYM. I have wondered that too. My American friends IRL are not Christian and not conservative, and this board gives me a very different perspective. However, I have also had a sterotype corrected and that is of the "lazy English " speaking American culture...as in, I didn't realise such a thing as sentence diagramming existed...or that people actually took so much time to learn the art of writing in such depth during school years. Things like that aren't taught so explicitly in Australia. Grammer is taught...but I never knew so much grammar existed until I worked through a year of Rod and Staff. At school here they teach writing differently...I guess in a more integrated way rather than so directly. No such thing as 5 paragraph essays or even separate writing curricula, really. These things and much else I have learned through American authors (such as SWB) and American people such as here on these boards. In other words I have actually been surprised at the high level of academic rigour that is maintained in at least some circles in American culture (I realise the general masses may not get such an education). Australia tends to align itself more with the British and education just has a different flavour. So, I certainly have a lot of respect for an aspect of the American culture I had never been exposed to until I started homeschooling.