DD who is six is like this….especially if she didn't get to sleep early enough. I can almost always tie it to that. You could also work with her to do some sort of thankfulness exercise in the morning, prayer, exercise…etc. Anything to change the dynamic. When DD gets negative, our usual response is to say "OK…tell me three things you are thankful for.." "Or three things you're looking forward to today.." "Or three things that you like about your brother." SHe used to balk at that, but now knows that it helps.

How horrible. Prayers for the young man, his family, friends, and the entire university community.

But they do. Based on name. Based on race. Based on access to professors. Doesn't matter if they were well off. Look at the previous studies I posted, as well as the articles about being profiled in my own driveway. Being wealthy and black is not the same as being wealthy and white. Wealthy blacks are still likely to be profiled. Their blackness trumps all else. Black physicians, attorneys, and scientists can all tell you this. http://articles.latimes.com/2009/jul/25/nation/na-racial-profiling25 "Like Henry Louis Gates Jr., they are professionals, men of status and achievement who have excelled in a nation that once shunned black men. And for many of them, their only shock -- upon learning of the celebrated scholar's recent run-in with police -- was the moment of recognition. They know too well the pivotal moment Gates faced at his Massachusetts home. It was that moment of suspicion when confronted by police, the moment one wonders, in a flash of panic, anger or confusion: Maybe I am being treated this way because I'm black. Next comes the pivotal question: Do I protest or just take it? Kwame Dunston says he has made the calculated choice to take it -- repeatedly. The public school administrator says he has been pulled over more than 20 times in the last decade, but has rarely been issued a ticket. What factor other than race, he wondered, would account for all of those stops? "It's more important for me to make it home than to fight for a cause I'm not going to win," he said."

Had our fourth baby when I was 42. All of my babies happened after 35, though, so I was always advanced maternal age. Everything was normal, but we talked about what we would do if there were genetic issues, etc. #4 is a delight…and loved by all. Yes, we'll be facing college/retirement issues….but that will be for pretty much all of our kids.

I can't speak for all Muslim orgs, but I do know some people who work for CAIR….and they definitely do not fit the typical Muslim organization profile. They don't wear hijab, are converts, etc. In the past few years, I've seen more and more of this which is good. I think things are slowly changing, so I wouldn't be so sure that you wouldn't be accepted/wanted. Most Muslims in the US are used to working with non-Muslims and people of a wide variety of backgrounds. I would apply. The fact that you want to help would go a long way with many. Worst thing that could happen is they'd say "No." The org I work for has employed non-Muslims. I have not noticed them being treated any differently. We spent some time going over various Islamic phrases that they'll likely hear/read, but that was about it.

How much are you driving? How big are your gas tanks? Here, I'd probably have to allow at least $100/gas/week. If your DH needs one car for work, can he do grocery shopping on the way home? If you assume the $100/week for gas, that leaves a little more than $100/week for food. The Hillbilly Housewife has a good emergency plan (which you might need to double)… http://www.hillbillyhousewife.com/70dollarmenu.htm For us, we'd probably try to go to a bulk food/warehouse store. So, buy two big containers of peanut butter for $10. That will last you at least two weeks, maybe longer. Buy one large jar of jelly, or honey, or make your own. About $7.00 Bread, two loves, $6.00. Big container of cheese (shredded)…about $9.00…. can be used for grilled cheese, bean and cheese burritos. Big bag of flour for pancakes and 2 dozen eggs. $10 total. Can make pancakes, eggs, for breakfast. Egg salad. Don't forget breakfast for dinner some nights. Can make homemade pizza.

Oh no. I would totally freak. I hope he's doing better this morning (and you are as well.)

Actually, you don't even need his transcripts. You know he went to the Punahou School, which is one of the preeminent boarding/college prep schools in Hawaii. That should be enough, really. The fact that a kid from an extremely competitive academic school ends up in Columbia is not a shock. (This was the year Pres. Obama graduated)…. "In a recent study of the class of 1979,[31] 8 graduates had earned degrees from Harvard, 3 had degrees from Princeton, 1 from Yale, 14 from Stanford, 17 from UC Berkeley, and 26 (total) from Ivy League schools.[32] 15 had a PhD, 22 had an MD, 39 had a JD, 18 had the MBA, 10 had the DDS, DMD, DVM, or ND (about one quarter of the class reaching terminal degrees)." "The class of 2012 had 30 of the state's 70 National Merit Semifinalists.[34] The class of 2013 had twenty semifinalists, and five of the state's ten National Merit Scholars.[35][36] Punahou's 30 Presidential Scholars were graduates of the classes of '64, '66, '70, '71, '75, '78 (two members), '79, '82, '84 (two members), '85, '86 (two members), '91, '92 (two members), '93, '95, '96, '98, '01, '02, '04 (three members), '05, '06, '08, and '11.[37][38]" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punahou_School Based on that, it should not be shocking that he went to Columbia or Harvard. The only reason you suspect it is because of his race. The fact that he performed extremely well at Harvard Law, enough to graduate magna cum laude and be elected President of the Harvard Law Review would be enough for any other candidate with a different skin tone. The fact that he had international living experience to bolster his essay and experience would also play a factor. Let's also remember that his father graduated in three years from the University of Hawaii and was elected to Phi Beta Kappa. His Dad also got his master's at Harvard, in the pre-affirmative action days. I'm going to bet that Harvard wasn't falling over itself to admit black men back then…especially those that were not qualified. Wait, I know, you also think he was born in Kenya too. Right?

If you're going one of the weekends in May (especially early May) be warned that it's also college graduation time. DC has tons of universities. You used to need reservations for the Holocaust Museum, I'm not sure if that's still the case. It's tough…but I would prioritize based on your interests. You don't need to see everything. Smithsonian is great because if one Museum isn't working for you, you can go to another. (Also it's free.) It can be nice to see the monuments on the mall at night. National Zoo is lovely, but it's a long metro ride from downtown. UrbanSpoon is great for food ideas. :)

Wherever it is, make sure you're on the metro. Orange/Blue goes to the Smithsonian. We usually stay in Foggy Bottom or in Crystal City. Haven't been back in 10 years, though, so not sure what prices are like. Washington Marriott down at Metro Center is convenient, but back when I lived in DC, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable walking around there at night.

According to this, Stanford is 41% white…. 47% women….and 39% of students come from California. http://facts.stanford.edu/academics/undergraduate-profile Non-hispanic whites make up 38.8% of California's population…. Latinos make up 41%. Yet Stanford still only has 14% of students identifying as Mexican/Chicano/Other Hispanic. California still has the largest population of white residents of any state in the Union. In 1970, however, they were closer to 78% of the population. While the assumption is that Asians dominate, they make up 15% of California's population and 22% of Stanford undergrads. Yes, a higher representation, but not huge. I get what you're saying though. There is among many a sadness that they can't offer their kids the opportunities they had. I get that. It's not just minorities in jobs/colleges, but also the whole global nature of the world. Your (not you personally) son/daughter isn't necessarily competing with just American kids, but with kids from the former Soviet Union, China, and India. Billions of people who weren't really in the competition pool before. I don't think we can afford college tuition where I went for four kids--or a similar priced school. It would be over $150k/year when we have three kids in at the same time. We are unlikely to get any financial aid. It angers me that a lot of good schools have increased their tuition so greatly, in an effort to sell themselves to the students with lazy rivers and fancy dorm rooms, rather than focusing on academics and a more affordable cost. But am I angry that many schools offer full rides to kids whose families incomes are lower than ours? Nope. I'm happy for them. I'm happy they get the opportunity. Do I wish we could? Absolutely. Do I sort of wish we had a situation like Canada or Egypt where DH was raised where higher education was more affordable? Absolutely. In 1986 when I started school, Latinos made up 7.2% of the population of the U.S. Today, it's more than double that. In my lifetime, they will probably make up a majority of the United States. America is "browning." I think there will be a lot of people who will have trouble with this. I think that's one of the reasons some have freaked so much about Pres. Obama. He's a sign of what the future holds---multiracial families/people/etc. That's why people resort to stereotypes about him being an affirmative action president or Michelle being "moochelle"…assuming she's the First Lady equivalent of a welfare queen. No matter that he graduated with honors from Harvard Law or that he was editor of the Law Review, he will still be the "community organizer." His accomplishments, his previous elections are all swept under the rug. Why? Because it scares some to think that there are qualified minorities out there who will be competing with them. Similar to her accomplishments, her six figure salary pre-White House, etc. It's much easier to dismiss him if you resort to stereotypes. It's much easier to feel "safe" if you think he was not really qualified. I think American's diversity is awesome. I think that the reason America became so great was because of our diversity. Yet I know there are many who long for the good ol' days when we were a 80%+ white nation. Sadly, I think race issues will get more and more heated. (Sorry for the kind of rant that was not really directed at you. :))

I'm white. 99% of the time I'm called white. I suppose I could be called Caucasian, but then again, my ancestors are not from the Caucasus region. If you want to get in terms of ethnicity, it gets more confusing…. I don't see myself going by English-Irish-Scandinavian-American.

And do you also know, that regardless of your son's friend's socioeconomic status or opportunities, he will still be profiled by the police. He still has to "watch" himself and his behavior will be held to a different standard. He still brings a different experience to colleges by having lived that. ALso, you're assuming once again, that the only difference this young man brings to the table is race. I want to say this gently, but I am 99% sure you would not say the same about a white friend of your son's. That's being racist--as tough as it is to acknowledge….and it happens all the time in this country…even 50 years after the Civil Rights Act. "I was racially profiled in my own driveway"… http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2014/04/i-was-racially-profiled-in-my-own-driveway/360615/ "What I learned about stop-and-frisk from Watching my black son." http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2014/04/what-i-learned-about-stop-and-frisk-from-watching-my-black-son/359962/

No, but they still benefit from having Anglo-Saxon names and just being white as the two studies I posted show. They still have a higher chance of their CV being picked for an interview solely based on their name. They still have a higher likelihood of professors interacting and mentoring them just because they are white. When it comes time for grad school applications, those relationships matter, because it will lead to better recommendation letters. In grad school, those relationships matter for good internships, clerkships, etc. When it comes time to getting a job through normal channels, having the name Mike Simpson will still get them in the door more than Mohammed Ibrahim, LaTonya Jones, or Dolores Gonzales. Oh, and since I'm assuming that a majority of the people on this board are women (right or wrong), don't forget that AA programs were crucial to getting women (yes, even white women) into the workforce other than in the accepted jobs of nurse, secretary, flight attendant, or teacher. (Of course, many of those positions also assumed that a woman would quit upon marriage.)

We face this because my kids do not speak any Arabic except for some food words and counting, and DH's Mom does not speak conversational English well (although strangely, she lectures in English as it's the language of medical school in Egypt.) I begged, pleaded, etc. for DH to speak to the kids only in Arabic, but he felt strange doing so. He thought that I should teach them Arabic, when I do not speak it. I feel horrible about it because it definitely creates a barrier. They have closer relationships with their Egyptian relatives who can speak English more fluently. I am trying to help improve their Egyptian Arabic, but it's a slow process.

I've had good luck with Magic Erasers as well as with the citrus stuff, Goo-B-Gone or something like that (good for getting sticker residue off too). If that doesn't work and you know that manufacturer of your flooring, try their web site. This post says to try white toothpaste (it's not just for filling in nail holes). http://mylifeandkids.com/tip-how-to-get-permanent-marker-off/

Yes, but it's also unlikely that virtually no African-American males are college material. That no poor Latinos are college material, no Native American kids, etc. If you go strictly by SATs, that's pretty much the result you would find. I agree that we need better vocational training, but that does not negate the role that Affirmative Action plays in leveling the playing field. http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/sats/etc/gap.html "Christopher Jencks and Meredith Phillips, editors of the 1998 book The Black-White Test Score Gap, point out in their introduction that African Americans score lower than whites on vocabulary, reading and math tests, as well as on tests such as the SAT. This gap appears before kindergarten and persists into adulthood. The average black student scores below 70 to 80 percent of the white students of the same age, Jencks told FRONTLINES imilar issues arise when Mexican American and Latino students, as well as Native American students, are compared to white students, although this phenomenon has not been studied as widely, Jencks and Phillips say."

Thing is, a nonwhite person won't even make it to the interview even if they are equally qualified. http://www.nber.org/digest/sep03/w9873.html "It indicates that a white name yields as many more callbacks as an additional eight years of experience. Race, the authors add, also affects the reward to having a better resume. Whites with higher quality resumes received 30 percent more callbacks than whites with lower quality resumes. But the positive impact of a better resume for those with Africa-American names was much smaller." I was raised with about as much "white"privilege as one can have. Mayflower-descendent, WASP, DAR, Upper Middle Class, exclusive prep schools, "right" country club, etc. I went to schools where the admission director would call up friends at extremely competitive colleges, and yes, usually the kid from my school would get in. Even if his Daddy wasn't a legacy, there were enough…and the school had enough pull…that something could be arranged. Need at internship? Well, I'll talk to Mike when we play golf on Friday, who happens to head up the largest ad agency in the State, and see what he can do. I consciously did not go to medical school, in spite of doing well very well on my MCATs, because I knew that my Dad could call one of four friends who were Deans of med schools and I would have gotten in. No questions asked. Even if my MCAT scores were in the toilet. (I know this, because I saw it happen for others.) I loved medicine, but I didn't want the easy ride. (Of course, once in med school, family connections wouldn't have helped at all.) I also have the opportunity to see that basically evaporate every time I walk out of my house in hijab, or go to a job interview in hijab. It's eye-opening. ​Is any of that right? Nope. Should it all be based on merit? Yup. But it isn't. It isn't for white people either. It's having the right name….or having gone to the right school…or knowing the right person. That's why networking is so key for good jobs. Networks are created at the "right" schools, clubs, etc. Sure, you may get lucky and get a job off of a regular job posting, and eventually climb you way to the top, but a lot of the time, that's not how it works. If you look at C-level executives, or you look at Senators, you'll find that often they all went to similar schools. Obama may be our first Black President, but he's also a Columbia/Harvard man. I'm not sure he'd be President had he gone to Clark Atlantic or Bethune Cookman. Getting into the "right" school does matter. It can change lives. Justice Sotomayor may have grown up in the Bronx, but she also attended Columbia and Yale. Justice Thomas went to Yale too. Most of the Supreme Court Justices have historically gone to Harvard, Yale, or Columbia. We know that socioeconomic class plays a large part in SAT scores. Somebody who grows up poor's 1100 (I have to think in terms of old SATs :)) may be just as good as an upper middle class kid's 1450. They may be just as smart, but the test does not reflect that because of their background. http://www.danpink.com/2012/02/how-to-predict-a-students-sat-score-look-at-the-parents-tax-return/ http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2012/08/29/the-correlation-between-income-and-sat-scores/ http://hepg.org/her-home/issues/harvard-educational-review-volume-73-issue-1/herarticle/a-method-for-reestimating-sat-scores_23

I think for the most part it is still needed. Should it be perhaps based on economic class over race? Perhaps--or at least that should play a part. Thing is, there are still major issues regarding race in this country--look at all the comments about our Columbia and Harvard law school educated President and his Princeton and Harvard law educated wife. Even though Clinton was from a poor background, it was never assumed that he did not deserve to be at Georgetown or at Yale law school. Look at the recent studies even on access to professors regarding race and sex. http://www.thewire.com/culture/2014/04/professors-are-less-likely-to-mentor-female-and-minority-students-especially-in-business-school/361047/ Most universities are still woefully lacking in African-American students, especially African-American males--and yes, diversity is an important part of college…seeing educated Black men does matter, especially as our country has the horrible distinction of having more Black men in prison than in college. I wish we were living in a post-racial society, but we're not. Look at the make-up of C-level executives of major corporations. Heck. look at our percentage of women and minority Reps and Senators, look at the make-up in investment banking and finance. We're not doing as well as we think we are. We're still, in large part, a country run by white men.

Some Classic Films: Pretty much any Hitchcock film, but especially "Notorious", Dial M for Murder", "Rear Window", and "Strangers on a Train." Pretty much any Astaire/Rogers musical. I think it's because i can't dance to save my life. "High Society" with Grace Kelly, Bing Crosby, and Frank Sinatra over "The Philadelphia Story" with Katherine Hepburn. "Penny Serenade" with Cary Grant and Irene Dunne (warning tear jerker) "Charade" with Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn "Funny Face" with Audrey and Fred Astaire "An Affair to Remember" Cary Grant version "Sabrina" with Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart "Roman Holiday" with Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck OK…I'm way past 10 and I'm no where near done. :) Oh…if you want to try Bollywood flicks ( a lot are on Netflix), I loved "Veer Zaara" or pretty much anything with Shah Rukh Khan in it.

I don't know who he is, but that would depress me as well.

Maybe cumin, coriander, cloves, allspice, cinnamon… something along those lines. You can also do a sweet couscous with cinnamon, pine nuts or almonds, dates, apricots, raisins or other dried fruits.

OK, the Tinker Ball is very addictive for me! Oh…and the kids liked it too. :)

I remember reading that hoarding was an off-shoot of OCD. I think that a lot goes into it including depression, control issues, and the like. I'm assuming in trying to help somebody it would take ongoing help/therapy…not just a once help clean it up. Like going over there every few days at first, helping…. then weekly… then hopefully graduating to every two weeks…and maybe every month. I suspect that one would need to have some sort of intervention for years and possibly forever. I tend towards clutter, but not hoarding. Like, we'll have lots of papers everywhere, but the dishes are done daily, the carpets are vacuumed, floors moped at minimum weekly. I have no problems giving away stuff, donating stuff, etc. I know how easy it is for things to get away from me, so I assume it must be 1000x worse for people with hoarding issues.

We have four kids and two bathrooms. Right now, I think it's perfect, but when we have four teenagers, I'll probably think otherwise. We looked at a house which had 3-1/2 bathrooms and I just dreaded the thought of cleaning them. Yes, my kids do clean their own, but I usually have to come in after and fix things. Still, if you're used to four bathrooms, I think it would be hard to cut that number in half. I would think that probably 2-1/2 would be your minimum, but you may want 3. If you can, see if you can find a home with tankless heaters. Rather than a large water heater, each bathroom has it's own on-demand heater. You never run out of hot water, and you're not heating a giant tank all day every day.