We homeschool year round and the two main reasons are so that we can do all these extra things and travel with DH on business trips as well because it's 110 degrees or hotter most of the summer here, lol. LOTS of book/seat work gets done when it's too hot to go outside, but then when the weather turns nice we're probably out of the house doing those extras 2-3 days a week. Our city offers a lot of special events, we have a HUGE homeschool community that also offers lots of classes, field trips, fine arts events, etc. If YOU are concerned about whether you're doing "enough" school, then sit down and figure out what your typical week would look like with all those extras. How many hours will you be "doing" school? Now compare that to your typical public school. I have two relatives who are certified teachers and they tell me that the kids have 6 classes of 50 minutes, 10 minutes between classes, and 30 minutes for lunch. THey also tell me that of that 50 minutes of classtime with all the extra things they have to do (attendance, bulletins, homework assignments collected, discipline and waiting for books/pencils/paper to be gotten out, plus explaining the homework assignment).....all of which homeschoolers do NOT do, they both feel that they get 20-30 minutes of true learning in on a typical day. So that's 30mins x 6 classes or 180 minutes per day. 3 hours per day. For 180 days a year. So do the math for your hours/days to see if you stack up. We do a LOT more than that if you average out the year. Also, keep in mind that one of those classes that the public schoolers do is physical education.....and your ballet/gymnastics/sports would certainly be at least the equivalent. Music is not always offered in public schools anymore, but I would definitely consider that to be one of their school subjects. Once you have those facts spelled out for YOURSELF, then you can decide whether to come up with a speech to give to those who worry, or to pass the bean dip (as the "hive" is so fond of saying). Another thing to think about.....most public schools kids have a LOT of after school activities.....scouts, sports, ballet, music, not to mention tutoring etc. If they can fit it all in, why shouldn't your family be able to do the same?

I think you mean....... Monterey and Carmel

:iagree::iagree: Yep, let them take all the inconvenience and risk. I can't tell you how many people I know who allowed possession before closing who regretted it. Your property has been on the market for a mere week....so if someone was interested that quickly, there will be another along shortly with terms that will fit your needs much better. Had it been on the market for months and months taking more risk might be worth it. And, it sounds like if you don't have a destination in mind, then you aren't exactly in a crashing hurry to sell, so you have the time and means to wait until the deal is right for you. If you decide to go ahead anyway......price the pods but realize that they tend to be more cost effective for short term....since the delivery cost is built into the price the months that you're simply storing it they're making a hefty profit. If you're looking 3+ months it's likely worth the effort to do the moving yourself and save the difference in storage rates. Look for a storage company that lets you use their truck for free to save on the truck rental fees. Since you have no destination in mind, store your stuff at the cheapest storage center within a 15-20 drive of your house to make the moving day quick. If you knew your destination then you would need to weigh the differences to decide. As for where to stay....we'd done a lot of moving and staying in temp housing for a couple months while we determine final destinations. There are "extended stay" hotels (in fact one of them is called Extended Stay I believe) that are basically furnished apartments that are rented usually with a minimum of a month. So, it will come with beds and bedding, couch, chairs, dining room, towels, a semi-equipped kitchen, etc. You'll probably want to chose and inventory one before you start packing to know what you want to bring along. Pets are often allowed with a security deposit. These are typically meant for business people who are in town for an extended period of time, or are being transferred and in limbo waiting for their goods to arrive, etc. We've been able to negotiate the price when we've known that we'll be staying for a set period of time, because they really like having steady tenants. Typically these places only provide housekeeping once a week (and sometimes very basics like vacuuming and bath cleaning, not trash take out, etc). They also don't typically take the bedding/towels for washing, some may not even provide towels or bedding. So be sure to ask what is and isn't provided (ask them to compare it to a typical hotel). Or, since you'll be storing your stuff anyway, maybe look into apartments that don't have long term leases, since you can then use your own furnishings. This would make your storage needs smaller, but you probably will want to bring only the basic necessities so you're not having to pack/unpack/pack/unpack. But furniture tends to be the most expensive to store because it doesn't stack up neatly and easily and takes more room than boxed items. You might call some apartments that advertise a lease requirement and see if you can negotiate better terms (sometimes you can offer an extra 10% of rent for a shorter, or no term lease). In this economy, you might find the ability to have an apartment without the extra cost. Around here, houses are selling for half the value of a year or two ago, so apartment dwellers are buying en masse, leaving a lot of empty apartments! I see a lot of banners offering free rent, reduced rates, shorter terms, etc. Interim living can be as easy or as difficult as you choose to make it. Pick the level of "camping out" that your family can live with and go from there. Some families can do an apartment with no furniture except the packing boxes, other need everything including Grandma's china to survive. We were somewhere in between....I won't sleep on the floor, but I can make do with just a mattress on the floor so we aren't putting together/taking apart 7 beds (plus mattresses don't store well, bugs, dust and ick in storage places). But, I can live with having just 1 plate, bowl, cup and silverware set per person....and the kids let the adults use the bean bag chairs while they sit on the floor in the living room, so we need 2 bean bags, a TV, DVD player and our large bucket of movies as we're happy. We bring board games along, deck of cards, and all our school stuff. Clothes are usually limited to a suitcase full, just like it was a vacation, we do laundry and rewear everything. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.....remember, life is an adventure, and this is just a chapter.

Wow! And here I thought I was being indulgent buying a rolling backpack for $20 for one of my kids after she begged for it for almost 6 months, lol. It was her one and only birthday present from us and she was in seventh heaven. Next time I'm in Staples I'll have to go see what makes a backpack worth $70. As for the comments made, even Good Friday doesn't fit her conversation, because that's the day Jesus died not that He died, so no birth certificate issue there. This kid apparently needs to spend a little more time in Sunday School, lol. Maybe that $70 backpack is distracting her from her studies? :tongue_smilie:

But if she was smoking pot in the car with the kids, why don't they have any toxicity in their systems? Second hand smoke is supposedly as dangerous as being the smoker. If they have none then that would mean she was not in the vehicle while smoking, so she stopped somewhere to light up? I've been around quite a few people with drinking problems. While a lot of them are capable of hiding it from employers and casual friends (mostly by chosing when they drink and making excuses about the hangover pain), but it is not easy to keep a drinking problem from someone you live with 24/7. Perhaps how MUCH you drink, but not the fact that you drink. Whatever the outcome it's not going to change things for the children who died. I do hope, however, that they determine the true and complete facts so that the surviving son will not have to grow up always wondering. Another thing I find odd....why wouldn't the family want a second autopsy if they felt so strongly that the results of the first was completely wrong? I mean heavens, if I felt that the police/labs had bungled it that badly, I'd sell my soul to afford another autopsy so that the truth could be known. It's got to be torture to even wonder if all this time husband hadn't seen the signs of drinking/drugs. And even if husband knew and is now trying to deny it (perhaps for liability reasons), you'd think that the parents of the other children would want to know why their children died?

Happy Happy Birthday to you!

Travelling as a military family has given our children (ok, and us adults) some of the most wonderful memories, and opened our eyes to other cultures. As a homeschooling family it is a dream come true. Then of course there is the downside....the separation, the constant worry. And, as you have experienced already, the inability to communicate with your husband quite a bit of the time. I often jibe that the military is his mistress, lol. Thankfully it's the kind that you can learn to live with. In time. I think the real problem for you is that you have some justified anger over his unilateral decision to join the military without consulting you, and the resulting upheaval of the lives of you and the children. I recommend that you contact Family Services at the base nearest you to request counseling to help you come to terms with that. As for the question of following him......as I said in my opening paragraph it's been wonderful for us, when it was possible to follow him. But when we weren't able to go with him then we always had our home to return to and await his return. It was our rock. We had family, friends and the support of the military base. We had familiar territory to go about our lives. Much as I love being in new places, there is a lot of comfort in knowing exactly where everything is.....and I know other military wives may understand while the general public might not....but somehow having my spouse in the same new place made it easier to accept not knowing where things were. Even when he was off working and the kids and were getting lost around town, I felt safe. But the few times we chose to stay while he was deployed elsewhere, it didn't always feel so safe. The only reason I can come up with is that he was nearby if I needed him. It sounds like following him may not be in the best interest of your family. And...since you say that he's going to be deployed from Hawaii, it also sounds like you'd end up being alone there (as you didn't indicate his deployment would be somewhere you would follow). In that case, I'd stay home where you have the support and familiarity that is important to you and the children. Many a family, including non-military, have chosen to separate temporarily for the good of part of the family. We have quite a few WTM board members who have spoken of DH's moving to a new state for a job and the wife and children staying behind. Often that is, of course, to wrap up life in the old town....finishing a season for sports or other extra curriculuar activities (like your daughter's college), or to sell a house....and sometimes waiting to see if the new job would actually work out before uprooting everyone and moving. There is little sense in your living in Hawaii while he's deployed somewhere else that you can't follow. Being in Hawaii isn't going to mean you are with him....and instead you will then be without him and without everything/everyone else in your support line. That benefits no one. Yes, it will be difficult to be apart......and honestly you will both need to work to make the communications that you do have meaningful. You have the added burden of anger towards his decision, but even solid marriages need to work to make sure the separation does not pull you apart. If at all possible, get some couples counseling before you leave, so that you can begin to work through the anger but also on ways to make the relationship stronger before he leaves. Be sure that it's either a base counselor, or if a non-military one that they are well versed in the special stresses of military marriages. What you will be encountering is NOT the same as non-military couples. My DH and I have often discussed that when/if the kids are ever involved in something that requires them to stay put at home, then we'll deal with that at the time. We're both aware that this eventuality may mean we stop travelling with him for a while, but we also see this as only another form of the separation that we have grown sadly accustomed to. Of course we'd love for separations not to be necessary, but they are for the life we've chosen, and se we accept that and try not to gripe on it too often. Your circumstances may may this a more difficult acceptance, but it is one that you must, for your own sanity, work towards. One thing I do want to say, in case you do decide to go......I nearly didn't marry DH because he was in the military and I was positive that I could not handle constantly moving. I was sure that I would be incredibly lonely while he was away, because I wouldn't have any friends. The friends I had around me at that time had been friends for years and years. The thought of trying to build that up with others was almost enough to make me chuck the love I had for DH. Thankfully, one of those dear friends that I'd had forever realized why I turned down his proposal......and called me on it. So, long story, but I basically followed him for almost a year.....because we weren't married I couldn't live with him on base, so we lived off base. It was difficult at first but I was allowed on base so I got to know some of the other wives. And they accepted me despite my reservations and non-marital status. And I discovered that it WAS possible to make meaningful relationships in a short time....especially when you had the very emotional bond of worrying about your loved one. Not a perfect path to friendship, but it works, and I have to say that some of those women I may not have seen in a decade, but I can (and have) called them on a whim and our bond is still there. I guess this is my long winded way of saying that you may be surprised to find that you too can make friendships under the new circumstances of your life. I still suggest that you not go, at this time, but I wanted you to know my experience just in case you do decide to go. And hey, I'll bet that between all the miltiary wives on this base we know a few that are stationed in Hawaii.....perhaps we could help with introductions. I wonder what the chances are that a WTM board member is in Hawaii?

The problem I notice is that if I google/yahoo a rather specific thing, meaning it should have it's own personal website, I typically have to wander through at least a page until I find that company's website. The ones I had to wander past were ones that had likely PAID the search engine to be placed ahead of other posts. That annoys me quite a bit and I've now gotten in the habit of not just reading the search result but actually looking at the address it's going to send me to before I click. Most times you can tell by looking that it's not likely to be what you want. And instead of clicking if it does appear it's what I want, I'll open a new browser and type in the address myself. By not clicking, they don't get hits, the search engine doesn't get paid, and I'm not promoting their targeted searches that lean towards those who paid them rather than those that are what I'm requesting! It's kinda like not shopping at a store because you don't like their practices, lol. I realize it's not likely to make a difference, but it's my own little revolt. I mean really, if people would stop clicking on the links instead of spam mail than the spammers wouldn't make any money and they'd have to go away. Sadly that doesn't seem to be happening! THe other one that annoys me even more is a page that doesn't even have anything relating to my search, except the fact that they typed pages and pages of keywords into their code so that search engines will direct you to them so you see their ads. Grrrr. There are quite a few smaller search engines besides yahoo and google that you can try.....problem is that being smaller they aren't always as good and don't always catch all the sites. Someday someone is going to create a search engine that isn't money driven. Yeah, and someday I'll win the lottery. The day before I get hit by a Mack truck.

I use two different methods......if it's for writing/rewriting on a printed piece of paper (like copywork or handwriting practice) I put the printed page into a heavy page protector (the flimsy ones don't erase as well after a while or get the heavier style). If you mean you want a portable white board for them to use at their desk or in their lap, or in the car, etc.....We bought a large shower board at Lowes cut one foot of of it and cut those into 8x12 white boards for the kids. The large uncut section went on the wall as a huge white board for me. You do have to do a bit of clean up sanding to the edges and then we covered them in a couple layers of colored duct tape. For the one on the wall we got a length of molding and framed it. The one caveat is to save a scrap of this stuff and use it to test your markers whenever you change brand. We've found that some markers don't come off without a lot of scrubbing and some require the liquid remover, while others can stay on for weeks and wipe off with a papertowel or old washcloth.

Hmmm, this is what I get: 9030 years, divided by 100 year increments, means that you need 90.3 increments or units. To make my life easy, I'm rounding that to 90 increments. You have 55 feet of space, so 90 divided by 55 would equal 1.63 feet per increments. Or about 19 1/2" per 100 years. All that said, though....and I realize this may take you over the edge of sanity and I apologize in advance......but remember that the events of the first 4000 years of your timeline are ancients and we just don't have as much detail about those, so that half of your timeline will be sparse compared to the after "AD" portion. And even worse, when you get into the last 200-300 years, it gets so tight that you'll want to be sure to put it low enough on the wall to be able to do lots of strings upward to connect dates/events. My suggestion, having been there done that....I'd probably give about 3 feet of space for everything before 1AD. I would not put 100 year increments, I'd simply put the year of the event (and since you won't have dates for much of it, I just worked to have them in semi-chronological order). You'd then have 52 feet for the last 2000 years, or about 31.2 inches per 100 years. (That last math was 2000 years divided 100 year increments equals 20 increments/units. 52 feet x 12 inches is 624 inches total length, divided by 20 units).

:iagree: Plus society doesn't view most verbal abuse as truly abusive like they do punching someone. And it's victims most times believe what is being said about them. If you hear how stupid you are often enough you're going to believe it. And that of course affects everything else that you will ever feel about yourself. Verbal abuse doesn't leave outward marks like beating someone does, so it's much harder to make people believe that you are a victim. And most people who only see/hear a few well aimed verbal barrages tend to brush it off as "that's how Joe is" and fail to see how the constant barrage chips away at the victim. And throw in that OP's MIL grew up and married in an era where divorce wasn't an option, so she never considered leaving him for his verbal abuse in the early marriage years......she may be so verbally abused to the point of believing that she doesn't deserve any better life anyway. If OP has seen flickers where MIL wanted to oppose FIL, then sadly this scenario sounds like it is probably true. Again I'll say I think once FIL is out of the picture OP and MIL will have a completely different relationship.

Except that most times when someone dresses inappropriately it's not a one time thing....it's every day with the low cut blouse, tummy showing, short shorts. I think in that case the ongoing problem should be turned over to administration and that they should handle it not as an isolated incident but as the ongoing problem. In which case, I would hope that admin (principal?) would call the parents in to discuss it. If I were that male I would avoid making any mention of inappropriate clothing.....it could be misconstrued either purposely or not. It's sad but I think this falls into the same category of teachers no longer being able to hug a distraught student, or in congratulations even.....and also not being able to allow a student to take them into confidences. There is simply too much danger for the teacher. According to friends I have that are teachers, many schools have a standing policy that no teacher is EVER to be completely alone with a student. The door to the classroom is to remain open if there is only teacher/student in the room. I find that necessity very sad. I can remember a year when I was going through extremely difficult home situation and having a male teacher who would greet me happily each day and often with a semi-hug. And more than once I cried heavily on his shoulder. He was a wonderful friend to a teen going through life's tough moments...and remained a friend for years after (even attended my wedding). Our friendship ended only upon his death, which devastated me. But our friendship never, ever, even for a second was anything more than mentor/student/friends. But I know that today he would never have been able to do this. Sad. I also had a female teacher who befriended my high school boyfriend and I....her car broke down, we happened upon her, bf helped and we became friends. We went to her home many times for talking, card games and dinner. We were careful to not divulge our friendship at school, but that because she was worried that we students would be in trouble with our peers, not that she would be in trouble. In fact, I'm fairly sure that other teachers knew of our friendship. She moved away and we slowly lost contact, but I have many things that she made for me (she was an artist at heart, a teacher to survive). If your hypothetical question is about a real situation, please have this teacher talk with his admin folks...and if they don't help, then with the superintendent's office. He needs to protect himself. In the meantime he needs to avert his eyes, but in a subtle non-obvious ways, as attention to the situation can be just as bad! I'm glad that I'm my children's teachers....they get hugs and shoulders to cry on, and friendship from THEIR teacher.....I just happen to also be their mom.

I spent many years living in various Asian cultures (Hong Kong, Japan, China and Thailand) and I totally understand the "honor your parents" obligation that you believe in. But, it IS a two way street. The parents are supposed to honor and respect their children as well. Your FIL is not. And worse, he has the potential of making your child feel that her heritage is something to be ashamed of. For me, this would be intolerable from anyone, especially a relative. If this was my family, I would encourage and support DH's continued contact with his family....and his doing what is necessary to protect his mother if it comes to that. But I would not allow myself nor my child(ren) to have contact with FIL. And only with MIL if she can make serious changes in her attitude towards you and the children. If your DH were on the other side of the country his involvement would be limited because of distance. And somehow your mother would cope. I would suggest approaching it with that attitude if DH feels that he cannot be involved, or if it comes to the point where your/child involvement would be required (ie MIL needing a place to live). In that situation, DH should offer to help her find a senior residence center where she could have her needs attended to, and live a happy life, but without your direct involvement. You have to do what you feel is best for your family....and your family is DH, children and yourself. Remember that you also have an obligation to honor your husband. And if you cannot serve both committments then you must choose one over the other. In Asian cultures this is always a source of great difficulty emotionally, spiritually and physically as children like yourself struggle to honor two masters (parents and spouse). The outcome of these situations depends on how much each person is willing to give and take. In situations where the parents refuse to be flexible they typically find themselves on the losing side, because the child chooses their spouse. In situations where the child chooses parents divorce (which in many Asian cultures is deemed a life failure) is often the end result. It's a no win situation for the child and I am sorry that you must make this choice. It's probably horrible of me to say, but perhaps it will take your FIL's death before your MIL make changes towards being more accepting of you. Remember, as strong as the Asian child is indoctrinated to honor parents....a wife is even more so with the requirement to honor and respect her husband. Many an Asian widow has found that after her husband's death she can finally develop her own thoughts. I don't pray for your FIL's untimely death, but when/if it occured, I will pray that your MIL is able to find her own self and not his. :grouphug:

I'm wondering what those of you who are buying organic feel about the study that indicates organic food is not healthier? Since our budget can't really afford organic, it's a moot point for us, but I've often wished we could do organic and then I read things like this report and think maybe it's a good thing I didn't try to afford it. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090729/sc_nm/us_food_organic;_ylt=AnxDzouG6Q3dMgC.O0Kg6dd1fNdF Thanks for the other book suggestions, I'm going to keep doing research on this subject until I can afford to actually do something, lol.

Are you wanting to reach out to this person for yourself (or your husband and kids) or because this other family member has made you feel that you ought to? If it was for you or your DH/kids, then I'd reach out to cousin asking if you could talk about what transpired and see if it's possible to breach the distance. If it's to appease the family member, I probably wouldn't reach out to the cousin because it doesn't sound like it would really resolve anything.....you still have no interest in being invited to her house or having your kids around, so what would the end result be? You both apologize but neither still want to be around the other, or worse it explodes into something bigger and forces family members to take sides somehow. You said that you both lead very different lives.....if this person wasn't a blood relative would you have ever become friends with them? What's that old saying, you can pick your friends....... I would however be careful about how you tell this family member that while you appreciate their desire to help, that there really isn't any purpose, that you are too different from your cousin to ever be friends. You don't want to come off vindictive, just uninterested. If you have, then I'd tell this family member that you've put the hurt feelings behind you, but that it doesn't change that you don't have enough in common with them to want to get together. If on the other hand, it's still haunting you, then for your own sake you might want to find closure by talking with her. But I'd do it with a phone call, not a letter.....as we all know from the Internet, the written word is often difficult to express your true feelings, and can easily be misinterpreted or misunderstood. Over the phone you'd know from their reaction whether you were making yourself clear or not and could clear up any confusion before it festered, like it would in a letter.

Having lost over 100 pounds and now kept it off for over a year, I can tell you that the diet that works best is......well, the "diet" that works best for YOU. It's not really about the precise food that you eat....it's about what YOU can stick too. Obviously the small amount (ok, maybe not small to you, but compared to some of us 15 pounds is small, lol) you have gained came from somewhere. Is it just because you did have a candy bar (or it's equivalent) almost every day and didn't up your activity? Could it simply be you are getting older and most times that means less active, and therefore the same amount of food in doesn't equal the same amount burned off? I know you were probably talking hypothetically or jokingly....but, honestly, if you could survive, i.e. not cheat, and eat one candy bar for each meal and a snack (a total of 4 candy bars x 300 calories = 1200 calories a day).....then yeah, you'll likely lose weight (assuming of course that pre-diet you took in more than 1200). Since my pre-change calorie intake was 3 times that (hanging head in shame) I could probably have eaten 6 candy bars and still lost weight (though I never could have ONLY had that small amount of food, so I'd have cheated and failed). It's about equal amounts in and out. Balance. And it's not even a daily thing.....a person's weight naturally fluctuates during the day, up and down, so it's not like you can eat a candy bar and suddenly jump on the scale and see that pound. I know it feels like that, lol. Having tried probably every diet fad out there (low cal, low fat, high fat/protein ie low carb, grapefruit, Somersize which is basically food combos, and more I can't even remember and some I won't admit to!).....I can tell you that the simple equation for the numerous people that I have met and befriended that have lost significant amounts of weight......less in than you burn off. It's that simple. For me, I finally accepted that I like food.....I like cooking it for myself and especially for others, I like trying new foods, I like trying new recipes, and I like eating rich and fattening foods more often than I should. To cut that down significantly or, worse, out, would be very difficult for me to maintain. So what finally worked for me was to up my physical activity.....having some limits there though because of things beyond my control or ability to change, means that I also have to cut out some of what goes in, since I can't compensate with more physical activity. But I still eat probably double the above candy bar example. I still eat all the great foods that I want....whatever I want....but I eat less of it. I use a luncheon plate instead of a dinner plate, so I don't take as much the first time around......and usually that is more than enough to satisfy me. If not, then I'll have seconds, because if I don't it will haunt me the rest of the evening. BUT....seriously, I've found 90% of the time that smaller plate of food is more than enough. Many people, perhaps even the majority of people, eat too much. Not too much sweets, too much fat, to much this or that....just too much. We fill those huge dinner plates (which by the way have grown almost 2 inches larger in diameter in the past decade!!!) and then eat it all because it's there. Another "trick" is NOT to put the food platters on the dining table, which is a typical family style of eating. Leave the serving platters in the kitchen, dish up each person's plate in the kitchen and bring it to the table. Just like a restaurant. You're less tempted to grab another serving because it's not sitting in front of you calling your name. Ever been to one of those fancy restaurants where the portions are small, but you still push away from the table full? Because your mind accepted that this was the amount of food you were going to eat....and adjusted your appetite accordingly. This works, for me and those in my support group, almost every time! So long as you have a minimum to sustain, the extra is just extra. The hard part is figuring out your minimum, so that you aren't ravenous an hour later and pulling out the chocolate stash! Also up your activity. I know, most people say they can't find the time to exercise......but it does NOT have to be 30 minutes of stop everything else and exercise. Up your ACTIVITY. Some things I do....I now park the car at the far end of the parking lot, whereas I used to circle around waiting for someone to leave a closer spot, now I just head for the back of the lot and always find a spot right away...saves a few ounces of gas each time too. That adds quite a few steps to my errand day, but isn't so much that even when I was huge would tire me out, because it was little bits at a time. Take the stairs to the second or third floor instead of the escalator or elevator (much higher than that and I'm winded still because of other health problems, but if you can walk further, do it). It will add only a couple minutes to your time to get to that appointment or whatever, but it will be a boost in your activity that might absorb the extra calories that added that 5 pounds a year. (Think about that 5 pounds a year is about 1 and 1/2 OUNCES you gained each week....no way can you possibly notice that until the year has gone by! Yet it takes 3,500 extra calories to gain a pound....so that 1 1/2 ounces is only that candy bar ONE day a week!) Stand instead of sit.....I now stand and pace from child to child instead of sitting at the school table and having them come to me. Just standing also burns more calories, believe it or not....so next time you're at a meeting, stand in the back instead of sitting in the chairs. No time investment, but calories burned. If you really want to ramp it up, shift from foot to foot in place....again, no extra time over sitting, but the calories burned shoots up, and most people won't even notice your fidgeting (unless you start jogging in place, lol). Movement. For me, it's all about moving and burning a calorie here and a calorie there, because my other health issues will never allow me to work out at a gym or do equivalent type of exercise, even if I made the time. After dinner DH and I used to sit around and talk about our days....or listen to the children tell Daddy about our day.....now we still have the together time, but weather permitting, we walk around the block or two. Again, no extra time needed. Just a change in how you use that time to get activity added. It's too hot right now, even in the evenings, to walk, so we simply stand or wander around the house (a great way to do the pick up cleaning!) and talk about our day instead of sitting on the couch. Eating more veggies and fruit will certainly go a long way toward helping you lose weight....and stay healthy from the nutrients in them vs in some of the other foods out there. But.....that didn't work well for me at first because that wasn't the food my body craved...so I'd dutifully eat my veggies, but then I'd ALSO have whatever it was my body wanted....which meant more calories. But as I lost significant amounts of weight however I found that I was craving healthy foods....I wanted my veggies steamed with a touch of garlic instead of drowning in some thick sauce. I wanted a wonderful fruit cocktail (not that nasty canned stuff, but delicious fresh fruit) for dessert....maybe with a small scoop of ice cream too. Instead of the huge bowl of ice cream with the only thing laughingly approaching fruit was the Strawberry topping and marachino cherry! I started shopping at a local farmer's market because the quality and taste of the fruit and veggies was soooo much better, so I wanted it more often. The added benefit.....my kids who did NOT have a weight issue (at least not yet) started eating the fruit too instead of asking for popsicles or whatever.....and while we do homemade popsicles to avoid the massive amounts of sugar it still was not nutritious like a peach or grapes or whatever. My kids also now eat a salad with loads of veggies, not just lettuce and carrots like before....because they taste better! But, if you aren't in a mind-set yet to replace your sauce with garlic, then find ways that you CAN take small steps. Because the only way a "diet" is ever going to work is if you have the committment to stick with it. The minute you go back to your old ways, you'll go back to your old weight (or more). Permanent life changes will make permanent weight and health changes. Making them gradually will make them easier to keep. If you want this to be the last time you take off those 15 pounds, then you need to make the changes that will last....and that may mean it will take a little longer than the latest fad diet, but it will be the last time. \ Good luck!

Wonder if this is the economy making people desperate? I can't decide if the media is reporting more robberies and gun activity in our area or if it is actually a rise in the crimes. I don't feel any less safe, but the uptick on the news reports seems significant....where they used to go to other states for things to report seems they're doing more local. Or...maybe it's my own mind paying more attention to the problems whereas I may have been a Pollyanna and only heard what I was ready to hear before. I hope they catch the robbers in your area so that you will feel safer.

Oh my heavens.....I said this to my little one, probably 4 or 5 years old, who responded...."Then can we get our old couch back".

Oh wow! Wish I'd read the rest of the thread before responding to that other post, I would have instead rejoiced with you. You still have a long road ahead of you, and I strongly urge you to seek counseling, either professionally or at least from someone (like a pastor) that has some experience in these situations. You need to be sure that you are making decisions soundly, not emotionally, and that he is also acting truthfully, and not emotionally either. The last thing you need is a short lived reconciliation, as that pain can be even worse (I know you don't think it possible, but believe me). The two of you should also seek couple counseling so that you can work through whatever caused this problem in the first place.....it's not so much finding fault, as understanding what each of you were not saying, feeling, doing, that made the marriage so fragile that it was so easily broken. It wasn't just him having an affair, that's often the breaking straw.....but the cracks probably started long ago, and each of you weren't receiving what you needed from the other to be there for the other. It's never as black and white as we think. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the children, that things work out for your family that are best for your family. Whatever that may be.

Before you take this advice please seek the counsel of an attorney (you can call most attorneys and ask them the legality of this without charge). In many states this can backfire big time on you. Do not do this unless advised by an attorney who practices in the state/county where you live....they will know not only the law, but how the Judges view this action (sometimes it can be legal, but the Judge's don't like it and the last thing you want is a strike against you with the Judge....you want to be the "victim" in this, not make it look like you're the evil one, lol.) Now, Terri, don't feel that I'm jumping on you.......it's a common reaction to want to do, and financially very practical. Many husband do empty the accounts before the wife even knows there is a marital problem, and then of course they are so desperate for money they'll sign anything to have food on the table for their little ones. Fortunately Judge's don't take kindly to this, and while it's rough going until you can see a Judge, a good attorney can get you into a court on an emergency order within a few days or a week at most (depends on how your court system works). In the meantime, you can and should use credit cards for LIVING expenses....not to get your nails done, not for new clothes even for the kids, but for expenses that the Judge will see were necessary to maintain health and welfare of the children. Food, bills so that electricity isn't turned off, the absolute necessities. The frivolous things will make the Judge less apt to believe you need as much as you request. Yes, it's all a game....convince the Judge which of you is more worthy....because each of you (either personally or through your attorney) will be telling the Judge how evil the other is, and so the Judge must base his decisions, at least at first, on how reasonable the requests and accusations are......saying you need the full family budget amount to "survive" isn't going to go over well.....providing a bare bones budget with the caveat that this IS bare bones will make the Judge more likely to see you are doing what is necessary, not through greed or even through not truly thinking through what is "necessary". Later the Judge will get to know each of you through your actions and motions/filings, and make long term decisions based more on facts than on impressions. In the case, like this, where at least for now DH is cooperative all this may not be necessary, but OP will be wise to be sure that she either understands the little nuances of the law or has someone representing her who does.....missteps can end up costing you much more than the attorney fees would have in the first place. Many a wife has lost custody or not received enough support to live even bare bones, because she thought she could simply go in and tell the Judge the truth, when DH had a sharp attorney that thwarted her every move. And just as many sign agreements drawn up by DH's attorney after DH tells her they only need one attorney to save money....but that attorney has HIS best interests not hers. :grouphug:

Oh my......we might be related, lol. When we were first married we were living in the "family estate" :lol: and couldn't figure out why the thresholds had little trip spots everywhere, until we pulled up the carpet to replace it and saw that they had put very thin sheeting to cover up places that the floor had literally worn through and you could see the ground underneath! Since you're already ripping up the carpet you might consider replacing the flooring the proper way......it wasn't that hard really. My husband pulled up the old stuff and tossed it. Then laid down a sheet of wood that was the same thickness as the original floor, nailed it down and then used his electric saw to cut a square out of both layers. This made the piece that was coming out easy to remove, and the piece that was going down was exactly the same size, no need to worry about squaring up, measuring proper etc. Then he used these metal brackets underneath the house to connect the old floor to the new patch and caulked the heck out of it. Laid new padding and carpetting and you never again could trip on the all the raised spots. THe first one that he did he put the brackets on the inside of the house, but quickly realized that even with padding and carpet it had a little bumpiness that he just couldn't deal with (me, I didn't notice it as it was such a vast improvement over the other). Anyway...congrats on the new house. Others have referenced that you've had a tough year, so double congrats on finding something to feel good about! I know how important that can be in tough times. :grouphug:

:grouphug: For your own sanity try to keep life as "normal" as possible right now.....you've got enough changes to deal with on a very deep level. As for the legalities.....yes, do get to an attorney and get working on an agreement now, while he is still feeling guilty and generous. You have no clue how "lucky" you are that he's not feeling like he's the "wronged" party, lol....so get while the getting is good. Most unfaithful husbands want out but don't want to pay for it, and may have been supportive of homeschooling for years and suddenly will be declaring to a Judge how awful it is for his kids and that they need to be back in school.....of course this sadly has nothing to do with homeschooling and everything to do with money....if you're staying home to homeschool those kids than you can't fully support them and yourself and he'll have to pay. Sad, but true. So....get the legalities over and done with now while the getting is good. Then work on figuring out how your new life will look. If the finances don't turn out to be all that you need, then you can figure out how to fix that problem, but let the court do it's thing first, between them and his guilt you may find that with some adjusting you can make it, and therefore have the time to be with your kids who are going to need your love and support now more than ever. And please, as others have said.....gather your support system around you.....it's a hard time to ask for help, but a vital one. You need to come through this as whole as possible, for your kids, but mostly for yourself. You've been dealt a mighty blow. :grouphug:

I like the one about leaving the vacuum cleaner and dust rags/mop laying around, so if someone comes to the door you can say you were just starting the cleaning. My friends would never believe it, lol. I can only imagine that some figure I probably don't even own a vacuum. I'm pretty sure I do though....somewhere?

our favorite is 4 cups of apples, 4 cups of pears, about 1/2 cup of honey, puree and dehydrate.

Ok, did anyone else like want to send a copy of that you know to like the NEA or some of those other people that you know don't think I can you know like give my own kids a good like education. After all, this girl is a product of those you know superior classrooms. Sadly, though, the truth is that the NEA probably would be able to understand her better than I could and therefore wouldn't see anything wrong. Maybe it IS true that homeschoolers are not preparing our children to make it in the real world....because if my kids have to communicate with this person, ummm, I'm not sure they can!