I'm so sorry for their loss! You're a good friend to be reaching out to them. I agree with a PP -- send a note that acknowledges their loss and lets them know you're thinking of them. And down the road, notes around Mother's Day, Father's Day, the child's birthday, stuff like that. Light a candle (and let them know you did) on October 15. If you talk to them, be willing to listen and let them vent, cry, talk about their daughter, anything. Whatever it takes to acknowledge that their daughter is a real part of their life -- many people will want to tiptoe around it, figuring a mention of the baby will hurt them. They're already hurting; she is a real child and has left a hole in their family -- they're not going to forget her, and it will probably help them if other people mention the baby. One of my nieces was stillborn at 36 weeks, and from what my SIL has said, she appreciates when other people mention her baby and acknowledge that she is a real part of their life.

We do Bible and poetry at breakfast, and then when we move into the schoolroom, we start with math. It's not DD's favorite subject, so I want her to be fresh and ready, and then, no matter how long everything else takes, she is done with math for the day. History, which is the favorite subject, is right after math. Our daily schedule looks like this (sometimes I will vary this if convenient, but this is generally how it goes; I try to mix up the writing vs. non-writing subjects, as well as the preferred vs. less preferred ones): Math History Memory work Writing (copywork, letter-writing, grammar -- specifics depend on the day) Foreign Language (alternating French and Latin) Science Literature (though this one can be skipped until later in the day or bedtime -- usually whenever I'm going to be sitting and nursing the baby for a while) Independent Bible Study Specials (religious biography, geography, picture study, music study -- depends on day) Reading (reading lesson for the 6yo, chapter of something good, usually related to history, for the 9yo) Any other projects (art projects, handwork, nature study, more involved science/history projects -- I'm not as good about getting to these, but it's my goal for this year.)

My kids have really been liking Beverly Cleary's series about Henry Huggins lately. They also think Louis Sachar's Wayside School series is hilarious. (So of course I am totally warping their ideas about public school, LOL.)

LOL, that's why I volunteer to teach the nursery class. Half of the nursery-aged children (0-3) are mine anyway. So my older two children get to go to a class with friends their age, that matches their abilities and interests, and that gives them a teaching perspective other than mine, and I don't have to leave my littlest ones. :) This year, I will probably have several three-year-olds, including mine, so I'll plan some fun early learning activities for them, which will give me some focused time for my preschooler. (As for making up the homeschooling time, our co-op for this coming year will be every other Friday afternoon, so we can school in the morning and leave the afternoon for the enrichment of co-op. The high school students will meet every week, and their classes will be academic enough to qualify for credit in one or two core subjects.)

I'm with lots of the PPs -- he might just not be ready. He's only barely 5; at that age, I think my son could write his name (just the first name, all caps, large) but wasn't ready for any more than that. I started him at 5.5 with the BrainQuest kindergarten workbook, where he would trace a letter or two each day and then write a few letters on his own -- that was just enough for him, enough for the practice but not so much that it was overwhelming. Every child is different; my son wasn't ready to read until more recently.

Your co-op does sound very good and well-run. Ours has fewer than 50 families, I believe (still waiting on numbers for next year), and we don't offer as many choices, but it works. I would not be able to afford $300 a semester, even for three children, even for great classes. Our co-op charges a lot less, and even still, the only way I will be able to afford it this year is because since I will teach one of the classes, so I will receive a reimbursement.

With my first two babies, the hair loss started at about 4-5 months postpartum; I don't really remember it happening much with my third baby. With the baby I just had a couple of weeks ago, I wish it would hurry up and start falling out soon! I really noticed the thickness this pregnancy, and even though it's straight and fairly well-behaved, especially in this heat, it is tangling something crazy. (It's also well past my waist, so it is currently a LOT of hair.)

I'd be considering whether I needed that vehicle or not. Could I get something equivalent or better or with better gas mileage for that $3,500? If not, and I needed the vehicle and something else wouldn't suffice, I'd look into a second opinion and/or doing the work myself if possible. With the help of a Hayne's manual (and in one case, a more complex electrical manual), and the internet, my DH has saved us truckloads of money on car repairs over the years, which has allowed us to buy cheaper vehicles and drive them into the ground.

I was going to suggest WIC as well. Two of your kids qualifying for it will mean quite a bit of food. Around here, it would be well over $100 of food every month, including some money that can be used for produce (and farmer's market checks in the summer). Please do look into it. Also, I'd go ahead and fill out the application for food stamps. In my state, they take a deduction off of your income, so you have to show them proof of your total income, but then they don't count the entire income. Fill out the paperwork, and let them do the figuring and tell you if you don't qualify. I also vote for food pantry assistance. It's really hard being un/underemployed -- that's what food pantries and such are for, to give the extra help. Also, there is a local coffee shop around here that donates its leftover bread products to people who need it -- maybe there are places around you that do similar? As well, you might talk to local farmers to see if they offer any kind of gleaning; we have friends who just did that at the end of their crop's season -- they invited anyone who wanted to come and pick, for free (if you could donate a small amount, great, and they sent it to a local mission, rather than keep it for themselves, but there was no obligation to give anything if you couldn't afford it; it was a gift ministry for them). I'm sorry you're in such a situation. Does it help to know that you're not alone? We are in similar, and it's hard. My DH works so hard and is gone so many hours, and we're still struggling and trying to make ends meet. :grouphug:

Another vote for gmail! I almost never see spam in my regular inbox with gmail; 99.99% of the time, it's sent straight to the spam box. (In fact, it's so good that occasionally good mail is sent to the spam box, but that is also rare.) I love gmail's organizational accessories, like stars and filters, as well. So, so easy to find something later. I actually have multiple gmail addresses -- one strictly for ebay, one for friends/FB notices/coupons/etc., and one for family/homeschool co-op/etc. If we need an email address for something that will continue to send us coupons or updates or whatnot, I use the friends address, but I am very strict about where I use the family one. As a result, that one gets very little spam.

This, except that we've never been part of a charter. I'll use secular materials if they are the right ones, but I won't use materials that conflict with our religious beliefs. Be a math book and talk about numbers -- fine, doesn't really matter whether God is mentioned or not; be a science book and discount Creation -- no.

:iagree: Our little guy was also born on the 12th (good day to have a baby!), and he is quite the favorite with the three older children -- I totally understand a lot of what you're going through. My 2yo adores the baby, which is great, but yes, it can mean a lot of snuggling. (Fwiw, each time we've had a baby, the older child/children has/have thought that the baby was theirs; this has been especially true of my boys -- DS1 always assumed that we had DS2 just for his benefit, and DS2 is certain that DS3 is HIS baby. And now 6yo DS1 is just so absolutely tickled to have TWO beloved little brothers that he is the most likely to complain if he can't have the baby every single second. Oy. :) ) Your older son sounds very sweet and loving, and I do expect that some of the novelty will wear off in a bit, and things will calm down. Do you have a grandma or even a neighborhood teen or friend who could come play with your older son for a bit? I say that because I know my older children's games do distract my 2yo from the baby a bit. It eases the sting of not being able to have the baby whenever he wants, at least a bit. Perhaps you can enlist your older son's help. "Baby is napping now -- how about you help me fold his laundry/make lunch/play a game/whatever?" Especially if it's something related to the baby, maybe that will help. (Not that you yourself should be doing too much just yet!) Do you have some special books/games/activities that you can do one-handed with your older son that are just for when the baby is eating? Baby has to eat; that's non-negotiable, and tbh, if the older child is not letting that happen, you need to do whatever it takes to let that happen. I'm not a TV/video pusher by far, but if that's what was necessary to allow the newborn to eat, that's what I would do. Do you have a sling or other soft carrier? If I lay the baby down, not only is he likely to wake up on his own fairly quickly, but the older children are more likely to see it as a chance to hold him. (Can't blame them -- baby i peaceful and happy and not eating.) But if I nurse the baby and then put him in a sling or wrap, he'll fall asleep and sleep soundly for a while, which both gives me the chance to attend to the other children better, and it provides a boundary for the older children. :grouphug: -- I think y'all will get to a more comfortable point, but it just may take some time and some tricks.

Legos, and toy swords/bows/etc. He got a soccer goal and ball for his birthday this year. (My 6yo is a boy. But my 9yo DD likes Legos and toy weapons too, as well as dress-up stuff and American Girl doll stuff.)

I worked like mad during May and June to get everything ready to start as close to July 1 as possible. I wanted to get a few weeks' worth of work in before our new baby arrived (expected the last week in July). Hahahahaha -- God had other plans. July 1 was a Friday, and then we had a lot of great stuff going on the week after that (DH home for July 4, get-togethers with friends and our homeschool co-op -- good stuff that I didn't want to pass up, more important than "book learning"), so I decided we'd start July 11 and hopefully get in about three weeks' worth of work. We had our first day on July 11, and it was good. I recorded the day's work, set up the workboxes for the next day, tidied the schoolroom -- and was holding a newborn before lunchtime on July 12. So we've had one day so far, but I'm thinking about easing back in to things in the next couple of weeks, hopefully to be doing all subjects by four weeks from now.

I would wait a few more months, at least -- if nothing else, your hormones will settle down a bit, and maybe you'll be able to think about it more clearly. We just had our fourth baby, and I am 34, DH 36 -- so older than when we had our first baby, but not really that old at all. Technically, I'd be of "advanced maternal age" with a fifth, but I don't think I'm old enough for it to be a huge concern. And while breastfeeding affects my cycles pretty heavily for a couple of years, when I do ovulate, DH and I are actually quite fertile together (and there's not really a form of birth control that is really acceptable to us, for various reasons). I've always seen us with five, so a fifth is very likely in the next few years. I think DH would be perfectly content with the four we have if I was adamant that we were done, but I'm not, and I don't think he feels strongly either way, or at least not strongly enough to want to do anything permanent about it. I still feel like someone is missing from our family. (And at the same time, I don't know that we will actually *try* for a fifth. . . we get more laid-back about it each time, figuring if it's meant to be, it'll happen, and if another baby isn't in God's plans for us, that's okay too, and we'll be content with what we've been given.) I would really try to get your DH to wait a while longer until you are more settled about it. And if you never become more settled, then maybe it's not the right thing for your family. And ETA: We would not have said we were in a good financial position for a fourth baby, but as the Big Tent Revival song "Two Sets of Joneses" says, "again God provided for bills He'd incurred." Many times during that pregnancy, He made things possible that we could not, and I firmly believe that He meant for us to have our DS3 and that if He chooses to bless us with another baby, He will provide for us.

I do the schoolwork planning around here. DH doesn't want to know the details; it's not his thing, and he trusts that they are learning plenty from my plans. I will sometimes ask his opinion about various aspects from time to time, but that's really about it. He is always interested in hearing what they've done, or seeing their work, or taking them on trips, or reading with them, though, and as they get older, I think he'll be interested in doing more hands-on science with them or discussing historical topics with them. (But not the math -- math is my strong point, not his. He can critique their essays though -- not my strong point.)

Congratulations! He is so cute -- love his chubby cheeks!

Just had to bump this to encourage you, Aubrey -- maybe this baby will surprise you like my little guy did. He arrived at 38.5 weeks, 16 days earlier than my previous earliest baby (DS2, 40w5d, 20 1/4", 9 lbs. 5 oz.), and while he was 21" like my first two, with the 14" head, he was only 8 lbs. exactly. And though my other labors were 11.5, 7, and 8 hours, this labor was only 4 hours (though really intense), with just one (very big) push -- less than a minute from "let's find a position in the water that is comfortable" to "it's a boy!" I have no idea why he decided to come early, but I think that is what made him a little smaller -- if he'd waited until the point at which the other two boys came, I think he'd have been just over 9 pounds, so similar to DS2. (He looks like a newborn though; the others all looked like three-month-olds after a day or two.) So here's hoping your newest one will surprise you!

4 kids, 2 adults, approximately 2300 square feet. However, it's not the square feet that makes the difference; it's the layout. Our house has some weird flows and is lacking in closet space.

Another vote for Kara Shallenberg!

Gettysburg Farm at Outdoor World is really nice -- pool, several playgrounds, mini golf, fishing, animals, etc. Its address is Dover, but it's only about 20 minutes from Gettysburg. http://www.travelingusa.com/gettysburgow/index.html?from_cat=travel%20equipment

I just had my third homebirth six days ago, and it was my first waterbirth. I was on the fence about waterbirth, as it's never appealed to me before (I am not, in general, a bath sort of person), but I thought maybe I'd try it, just for the novelty. We didn't opt to get a pool or birthing tub, though, figuring we'd just use the bathtub. As it happened, I got to the point in labor where I was having a really hard time; I actually thought I still had several hours ahead of me, because I'd only been in labor for about 3 3/4 hours, and my shortest labor before that had been 7 hours, and I was out of ways to cope. So DH suggested we try the tub and went to fill it. I got in, and it felt so good. So good that a minute or so after I got in, I went to see if I could feel the baby's head, since my water had broken a few minutes before I got into the tub; I could, and I started pushing. One big push (and DH had stepped out for a second to say something to the big kids, so he almost missed the birth), and the baby was in my arms. The water was wonderful! No tearing, and I think the warm water helped me relax just that last bit that was needed to let the baby come down all the way. If we do this again, I'm getting in the water much sooner! I would have a net handy for any icky stuff that gets in the water. And some big towels in case you gush fluid when you get out. Other than that, have a great birth!

I have no problem asking relatives to donate, at least not the grandparents. In our case, they're thrilled to help, especially if it's something we wouldn't otherwise be able to afford. I agree with other posters -- I think starting a small business would be better than fundraisers.

This post nearly made me choke on my chocolate cake, and my laughter almost woke the newborn in my lap. This whole thread is hilarious! (And for the record, I first thought "carp" was a typo as well, when I saw it on another board.) My personal pet peeve is discreet vs. discrete. Discrete would be for distinct, separate parts. Discreet is what you're being when you nurse without flashing everyone. And my personal errors include a tendency to use the split infinitive a lot, and to use way too many parentheses and dashes. :)

I used to have a Ford Expedition. I loved it. It held 8 and had tons of leg room for the middle row. However, with the third row installed, the cargo space was pretty slim -- disappointingly slim, I'd say. It barely held a week's worth of groceries. (But since I only had 3 children at the time, we folded the third row down, and all of the children's seats fit in the second row.) I thought it handled nicely, and it did fairly well off-road (like for the beach -- though I do think DH did install a couple of parts to make that easier), and it had some decent ground clearance. It also got like 13 mpg, and we live minimum of about 10 miles from anywhere. It was a good vehicle, and I'd have been happy to keep driving it. In a sad twist of irony, it was fatally wrecked when DH slid on some ice and hit a jersey barricade. Instead of bouncing off, the Expedition's bigger tires made it ride up the barricade and roll over completely, totalling it. (He'd probably have been better off in that instance to have taken our small sedan, even without the 4WD. Live and learn.) So now we have a Ford Windstar minivan of the same vintage as the Expedition, and truly, I love it. It will only hold 7, but the third row has more room and seems to be more comfortable (seems to be about the same room in the middle row and front row). It's easier to get to the third row too. It gets closer to 20 mpg, and it's a very comfortable ride. (Haven't tried it for camping or snow or anything though.) It has more cargo space than the Expedition, even with the third row. Last week, I did a mega grocery shop, plus had stuff from park day, picnic lunch, books, etc., and it had tons of room left over. So my vote, unless you need the off-road/4WD capability, would be for a minivan.