I've done it without a contractor and with one. I got a much better kitchen when I was the one hiring the workers and supervising the quality.

I thought about burn out all day yesterday. I typed up something really long but it didn't make sense. I'm going to try again. The kids I see who burn out are the ones who have parents that push them. Period. One of our coaches told me that the kids who are burning up the pool at 10 are not her good swimmers at 18. They are the ones who can't handle not always being first. They are the ones who quit when they need to move up in age because they are not the leader any more. She said that her best swimmers come to practice every day, have a teachable attitude and a good work ethic. She said that qualifying times will always follow those habits. There are a couple of kids who I can predict are going to quit soon. One girl is very fast, but she had a 45 minute crying jag when her relay came in second. She complained about how unfair it was that the other team's anchor had practice twice a day and also had private coaches between practices. I stayed out of it, but when her teammates came to me and said that they tried to cheer her up saying they could all swim 1 second faster next time, she complained that we don't have very many opportunities for relays. I just told the kids that that kind of attitude is never going to bring success or happiness. There will always be someone faster and richer and luckier and you will always be miserable. I'm so sick of hearing about "grit" but sometimes it is glaringly obvious that some kids have natural ability but not the fortitude to actually stay the course. I'm not worried about my own kids burning out. They have very reasonable goals for each race. Their coaches understand what is appropriate and their policies reflect this understanding. We are not looking for scholarships. I'm not even sure I would want my kids swimming in college. Our goal is physical and mental health, great friends and activities and lifelong enjoyment of swimming. I forgot to add that our family did 19 years with the summer swim club in our former state. I am thankful for the coaches we had there over the years, but my older kids did develop stroke errors that were not corrected. There were just too many kids per coach for them to get the same level of instruction. I know the quality of high school teams varies vastly by location, but ours sometimes practices and has meets at the pool when our USA team is practicing. I'm glad those kids get a chance to swim, and I am glad they are trying but there is no comparison as far as skill levels are concerned.

My youngest started at 6. She had been on the summer swim team before that. Our hour practices are 5 days a week and sometimes a 2 hour practice on a 6th day. She absolutely loves it. I stay for every practice to make sure I know what is going on. There is no pressure at all. Her coach is very encouraging and everything she asks of them is developmentally appropriate. What I love most about her is that she does not allow any misbehavior, but she always corrects gently and with humor. It is a rare gift. Dd got to swim up to the 9-10 relay yesterday. It was very thrilling but under 12 years old, our team focuses on correct technique and attitude and work ethic. They assure the kids that faster times come naturally from those habits and so far it has been true. Swim team is really the highlight of our week. The girls are making amazing friends and learning a sport that they can practice for a lifetime.

We moved from one of the country's most afordable areas to one of the most expensive last year. Dh was able to negotiate a salary that made moving to California an easy decision and he found a dream house for me. We ran into an issue purchasing the house because there were not the comps to support the asking price. We could have gone 2 miles away and bought a house we liked much less for more money with no issues but this particular house was problematic. Since the area is one of the hottest real estate markets, the owner asked if we would rent it with the option to buy at the end of the lease when it would appraise higher. Well, the year is up, and I'm really happy that we didn't buy this house. Although Dh is making a lot of money, the company he went to work for is having some major issues due to proposed legislation and lawsuits. We don't know if he is going to want to continue here or move across the country again. This area is great for some industries but in Houston, Dh could easily get another job down the hall or across the street. Here there are not many options, so if he wants a change, we need to move out of the area. I would not want the albatross of a house I paid $1,000,000 for. It might go up. It might go down. I just don't feel secure enough to take that chance. We were lucky that my neighbor offered us her rent house a block away. They bought it for a building on the site, but can't split them so they are not going to want to sell it. For the first time in our 25 year marriage, continuing to rent seems like a really good choice for our particular situation. Owning a house in Houston felt secure, but buying a house in California seems like a risk due to job options. I wonder if it is an option for you to come to California and rent for a year while everyone adjusts. Sure prices may go even higher. That is the risk. I never would have thought this would be what I chose, but I feel so free having our downpayment in savings and being completely portable to pursue other offers. I guess at 51, I'm still not too old to embrace change.

22 year old is in college and on our insurance. She never goes to the doctor so neither of us have paid copays or prescription costs. 21 year old is working. He has double coverage through our insurance and the one from his work. We pay his premiums and he pays his copays and other costs. I give him a pretty big monetary gift on his birthday and Christmas which I don't do for the adult kids that we are still fully supporting. 18 year old is in college and living at home. We pay all of her medical expenses.

Yarn!

I would do it so my kids could swim with friends. 15 minutes by car does not seem far to me. Plus if it is one million degrees out, I wouldn't want to walk. We school all year, so I would just put it in my planner to finish school before lunch 2 or 3 days each week, eat lunch at home and then head to the pool for the afternoon. That way, I would know we were getting our money out of it.

I watched it and thought it was amazing!

My 22 year old is across the country at college. She has a "tutor" who is a former professor at the college. When she was teaching, she noticed that the school was filled with very smart kids who for one reason or another were floundering or worse flunking out. So she started a company to help them with the transition. I think many of her clients have ADHD. My own kid pays around $60 per hour to meet weekly to go over assignments and make a schedule for the next week. Some things I know are that the tutor looks over her papers and makes suggestions. She will say things like, "These papers are almost finished. Do not spend more than 3 more hours on either of them." Or "Do not even start the paper that you are interested in until you have a rough copy for the one you think is boring, otherwise it will just be an afterthought." She also explains assignments when my Dd is confused. I've seen her send Dd emails to copy to get business done such as, "Dear person who has the info I need, I'm following up on our phone conversation..." My Dd is so very frugal that she has made the money we have her for Fall semester last all year. It hurts her to spend money. I was shocked when she said that she would keep her tutor even if she charged twice as much! So I think there is a need. I think people would pay if they could see how much it was helping.

My kid like that ended up having low blood sugar. If she doesn't eat protein every few hours she is a sobbing inconsolable mess. If she is careful not to let her blood sugar tank, she is happy rational and agreeable.

My Dd has gone to my sister's house but only because her aunt insisted. Hopefully she will be able to focus on finishing up her end of semester work.

It makes sense that the fewer people in the area, the less the chance for messing up the crime scene.

Canceling classes doesn't make it seem like there is no further threat. Wonder what is going on!

I wondered that too. Hopefully for a situation were the suspect is at large, they will be more timely in getting a warning out to students!

Update from the university An unidentified suspect was apprehended for stabbing two subjects and assaulted at least one other. One of the victims has succumbed to their wounds. The subject is in custody and there is no ongoing threat to the campus community. We are still gathering details on this ongoing investigation and will provide new details as they unfold.

Criminal Activity with Injury occurred on campus. Suspect in custody no additional immediate threat to campus. Please avoid the area of 21st and Speedway until further notice. Info to follow. I just got this alert from UT Austin where my oldest is.

I don't think anyone should be drug tested without their knowledge. If I had a minor child still living at home and relying on me for money that was displaying your child's set of behaviors, I would first set up individual and family therapy. For me, drug use would not be the biggest issue. I'd assume there were issues and that drug use may or may not be a symptom of those issues. If you are already in therapy, I'd try to get suggestions from his therapist and maybe even change doctors if you feel like it is not working out. If I wanted to know about the drug use right away, I would go to the drug store, buy a kit, tell him that his behaviors are in acceptable to you and that you want to rule out drug use so you can focus on the real problem. I'd stand with my back to the open bathroom door and tell him to pee. If he balked, I'd start taking away privileges. I bet he would rather take the test at home, but tell him if he won't, you will have to do it at the doctor. I'm sorry you are in this situation. It seems clear that something needs to change for your kid to be happy. I'd just keep searching for answers and ruling things out until I saw progress.

I would absolutely not take turns being first because to me, that still teaches that being first is inherently better. Those are the people driving up the grass in a traffic jam and then pushing their way into the front of the line. I don't like or respect people like that and I don't want my children to grow up with those values. I would focus instead on asking how it even matters who is first. In my value system, what matters is who gives up things and sacrifices for the well being of his fellow human beings. This is what I want to teach my children. I reward and praise behaviors where kids willingly choose to put their siblings before their own wants. If you are a Christian, then you talk about what Jesus teaches concerning the first being last. I have a kid with inflexible thinking. Thankfully she has now developed into being inflexible about positive qualities like respect and honesty. I am just afraid that if you take turns being first, the child still will have a melt down the first time you make a mistake and the system isn't perfect. The problem hasn't been solved. I do think that system would work with a less back and white kid, but what you describe already tells us yours isn't. Diagnosis or not, his basic personality is unlikely to change. I suggest looking for ways to use that intensity for good. Channel it into helping him be a person who will do what is right and does not care about the repercussions. He is showing you that he has the raw materials to be that person. He just needs you to help mold him in the right direction.

I keep seeing before and after pictures that look exactly the same to me. The OP says, "It has been 6 months. I can't see any changes!" Ten 500 people post about how huge the transformation has been. I think it must be a thing to troll diet boards by taking pictures in different clothes on the same day and start begging for compliments about your weight loss. Maybe I'm just a Scrooge.

I think it is pretty safe to say no one loves me as much as my dog does. So it is only fair for me to prefer her as well.

I guess I just like dogs a lot more than I like people.

There are some things that don't really affect Dh and I don't want to burden him with the knowledge. But I will say, "You don't even want to know, Honey!" And he is totally fine with that. Recently, something happened with one of our adult kids that had Dh upset. He came home from work and said, "K. Told me that I had to tell you this." He had told a coworker and said that he didn't think he should tell me! Fortunately, his coworker said he had to! I wasn't seriously upset because I really am happy that he has people at work he is close to and can talk to, but I made it clear that if he knows something concerning the kids I have a right to know. I don't lie to Dh and I don't hide things from him either, but I don't think every single thing has to be shared. Where would the mystery be then?

I think much of it comes down to personality. One of my swim team friends was chasing after her toddler granddaughter at practice. I said, "Hey, where do I sign up for that job?" I didn't feel like, "Oh, I'm so old and tired. I'm glad I don't have a one year old, three year old, teenager..." There isn't some other life I'm looking forward to and don't want to be too old for when my last kid leaves home. I did have teenagers at the same time as toddlers and babies. It was challenging to be sure, but nothing that would scare me off of doing it again. And that included kids with special needs and food allergies. I understand what some people are saying about grandparents, but my parents had me in their 20s and due to metal illness, I've never let my mom see most of my children. On the other hand Dh was born when his mom was 40 and his day was 54. Since his mom lived to be 88, she was close to my kids. Not playing chase, but cooking their favorite meals, reading to them, sewing with them... My children were even close to my own grandmother who lived to be 99 and was still having fancy tea parties with them to the end. It just comes down to preferences. For me, I wasn't too old until I physically could not carry another child. I'm still up for borrowing one though!

I think it is very different in homeschooling families. There really isn't an issue of attending the same schools.

I knew someone would say that kids with a large age difference won't be close. I have not found that to be true at all. My 18 year old was snuggled up watching Star Trek with my 10 year old today. My 7 year old is counting down the days until my 21 year old is home from college so they can make books and play SIMS and cook together. My brother is 13 years younger than me and he would say that I've been closer to him than any other person has been. I think there are a lot of valid concerns, but the idea that the age difference is so great that they won't be close is absolutely not one of them. In fact, the hardest part of having kids with a wide age spread is the real grief when older ones grow up and move away. I wish I could spare them that sadness but that doesn't mean we would be better not to have had the younger ones at all.