Do you take Peter literally?
For us, we believe I am to lead, and she is to submit, as I submit to Christ. Her submittal is not dependent on me. Peter (IIRC) even says for a wife to submit lovingly to a non-believing husband, that he may be won to the gospel because of the wife. Christ submits to the Father, even unto death, I submit to Christ and the Father, she submits to all of us, our children submit to her, and me, and Jesus, and God. At least, that is the theory. :P In practice it doesn't always work out that way. My wife also is not a fan of Paul, she thinks he was full of himself. Lol. She doesn't wear skirts very often, even to church, and I have never seen her hair in a bun or her wearing a head covering.:) We do take the Bible as literal and relevant to today. For example, we don't believe women should be head pastors or elders. But we don't attempt to force that on others or judge them for that. For example, my own grandmother is a divorced Baptist preacher!