Hear you here. And so many of the things - the varsity soccer schedule, for example, games that DH Really Wants To Attend - why me?

Not being snarky - really - but we have received 4 wedding invites in the past year, 2 from the kids of old friends whom we haven't seen in more than 15 years (keep up via Christmas cards and, in a couple cases, Instagram,). None of them included any photos. Is that a thing now? It didn't even occur to me to expect a photo - for weddings we couldn't attend, we sent a gift and mentioned on the card that if wedding photos got posted anywhere, share the link. Hugs. This sounds like a very hard wedding for you. Try to immerse yourself in the joy of two people you care about getting married.

His middle name is very unusual, so now we make sure to spell it out fully on legal docs.

I learned early on to obtain and carry ID for both DC when they were young. When oldest DS was 8, we were flagged upon checkin at the airport. His name (with middle initial) is the same as someone on TSA's watchlist. I had no ID for him. (Note: Saying "Does he look like a terrorist?" is not a good idea - ask me how I know 😒.) It took a half hour before he was cleared, and required getting a senior airport manager to enter a special code. I thought it was a one-off. Wrong. Next time we flew, same thing. This time I was able to tell the gate agent the process to get him cleared. Our state offers non-driving photo IDs, so I got one for both DC after that.

Rhodes College? Tennessee.

DS18 heads off to college next year, and we have spent many days this past year on college trips. We went everywhere from our 2 flagship state schools, to a couple of the private in-state schools, to out-of-state public and privates, including a couple of Ivies. I attended school at a well-regarded public in the 1980s, and here are some changes that stood out - and which surely cost money: - Smaller class sizes. Everywhere we went the emphasis was on small classes, "get to know your prof" - yes, at the larger schools you might have some large lectures each week in 100 and 200 level classes, but that might be 2-3 times a week coupled with small (5-25 students) sections also meeting each week. And the Honors programs at out state schools emphasized that you would rarely have a large lecture class - instead, small "group discussion" type classes. I was in the honors sections for almost all my classes at college - and my 100-level honors sections were in lecture halls holding over 100, every time, 4 times a week. A huge benefit for learning - and DS is excited to have been accepted to the honors programs - but the smaller student:faculty ratio is more costly. Note to those with college kids: what has been their experience with class sizes? - More academic amenities. Computer labs, writing labs, study rooms with smart boards. In the business buildings (DS will be a Finance major), rooms set up as small-scale floors of the stock exchange with all the electronics. It is dazzling. My academic amenity was two great libraries, and the study rooms had a table and chairs. I'm sure the technology underlying every college is also great, and costly. Technology just is. - Nicer living, by far. Almost every dorm at my large campus had 2-person bedrooms with cinder block walls and hall baths. Big, utilitarian dining halls, only serving during certain hours. A choice of 2 entrees, often mystery meat. And it was fine and we didn't complain. Now - oh my. Even old dorms have been remodeled. Many, many suite-style rooms, where 2 -4 bedrooms share a bath. The dining is - amazing. Lots of options, from make-your-own-pasta bars to grills to sushi bars to curry stations, your meal punch is good at them all, with a wide range of hours. Laundry is now "free" at many of the dorms - no more collect-your-quarters. As another poster said, the student rec facilities now rival upscale health clubs, complete with high-end equipment and juice bars. I'm actually surprised that room and board hasn't gone up more. - More social amenities. Just like when I was in college, there are many opportunities for student discounts at arts events, but now several of the colleges have their own (free) movie houses. Libraries have Starbucks inside. At at least two colleges, football tickets are "free" to students - a big deal when you are national champions. As one parent on our tour kept muttering, "free for the cost of tuition." - And there are so many "programs" now for various needs and groups, that I can only imagine that the administration costs have skyrocketed. It was really strange to walk around these campuses. Most were old, and pathways would weave among brick and stone buildings and ancient trees. You could imagine students of 100 years ago sitting on the wide lawns studying from old books. Then you go inside the buildings and are hit with the 21st century. I know the reduction in state funding has been a major factor in the rising cost of state schools, but at both state and private, the factors above also contribute.

I am starting with paper. Our home office with large walk in closet is packed with overflowing boxes of...old homeschool work, lots and lots of homeschool materials I copied out ahead of time to use later (that I never did), 3 crates of "souvenir paper" (tickets, brochures, etc). from travel, tons of info collected during DS18's college search, 3 very large Rubbermaid containers of the DC's artwork...you get the idea. In the last week I have tossed all the homeschool stuff with the exception of selected examples for each year, and I'm doing the college stuff now. This weekend we are photographing the artwork to save into a book, then tossing most of it. I'm scanning in travel stuff to use in photobooks. After the initial sadness at tossing ("These Maps of Ancient Times do spark joy with good memories!") the space retrieved feels good.

Just a couple of thoughts, not knowing your DS... - He obviously likes Magic (so does my DS15). Could he start a Magic club for kids, maybe part of an after-school program, or use a room at the library? Magic can be used to teach all kinds of logic and strategy. If targeted right, it can be a volunteer/leadership type thing. Colleges love seeing how you have taken a passion and applied it to your community. - Or could he become a paid or unpaid assistant at the TKD studio? Same idea as above, maybe.

I've never taken myself of DC to the doctor for a cold. We go if there is a high (>102) fever for more than 3 days, a sinus thing more than 10 days, or a throat so sore you can't swallow water. And unless the doctor is reasonably certain it is a bacterial infection, he doesn't prescribe (nor do I want) antibiotics.

For me, it depends on the action (e.g., whether it was passive, ignorant racism versus an active attack on another because of race), how honest a person is about the past event, and what they have done consciously to change.

Love the film-strip-plus-movie-poster idea! And over time, you could even update with different movies. I found this website for pricing, but I saw others where it was more like $20/sq ft. https://mariabrophy.com/business-of-art/how-to-price-a-wall-mural-developing-a-price-sheet-and-proposal.html

Also depends on ability of the artist. There is a very good artist in our community who specializes in this sort of thing, and I have seen her work in a few houses (I am a tour guide for some of our historical homes). In one home that had her do recent work, one wall was $20,000 - it was over a month's work.

This suddenly feels real...

You get accepted ED, you are generally stuck. And a lot of the cost calculators presume you can pay more than perhaps you would like to, so be careful in doing the inputs.

Duplicate post

Most of the day is proctoring the state math competition (both DS are entered). But the competition will be bookended by 2-hour bus rides on a Very Cold Bus. Our little school's bus doesn't have functional heat and it's in the 20s out. Many blankets are going with us.

It depends. If it is a modest sized event where my DIL-to-be is not a bridezilla and I am lucky to know many of the young friends well, I fully expect to enjoy it.

Anyone else's senior decide to pursue a couple more colleges right before the Jan 2 deadline? Against advice, DS18's list tended towards very selective (e.g., 7% acceptance rates) or (based on very good SATs, grades, and ECs) safety schools. Only 1 of his colleges was in between, and it isn't one of my favorites (despite excellent academics) because of a rather snooty atmosphere. So he has decided to add a couple of reach-but-doable schools. He's now going through the previous 18 essays to see which are adaptable for the latest school apps. He's already been admitted to the safeties - really, very decent schools, especially U of South Carolina's Darla Moore School of Business - with scholarships. Sigh. Not the way I wanted to end Christmas break.

Seriously awesome!!

I would think the feedback would not only be appropriate but welcome. Hearing about your experience and your view of the enhancements could give the professor affirmation of the direction he/she is heading.

I would sit down with DC and brainstorm any and all connections - friends, family work colleagues - that have careers of interest. Make a list of names and emails/phone numbers, then let DC do the contacting. That is important - DC needs to be viewed as a young adult, not someone who wants to attend Take Your Child to Work Day. As far as time commitment, the more time DC and the shadowee are willing to commit to, the more realistic view DC will get. At least a full day, but longer would be beneficial. This worked amazingly well for DS18. Three of his friends are children of doctors. He told the dads about an interest in medicine and ended up observing surgeries plus getting a 4-week job shadow for a doctor in private practice. The surgeries were fascinating, but it was the long-term shadow that was most helpful. After a couple of days, the doctor was so impressed with DS's demeanor (especially that he was very circumspect about talking about patients) that he let him observe all manner of interactions - patient interviews, ultrasound scans, biopsies, etc (with patient approval). He also made DS spend several days with the receptionist and the insurance person so he could see all sides of the business.

Baked cinnamon french toast and bacon, cooked in the oven at the same time.

Can I join your Miss-the-Magic party? Feeling pretty sad here, same reasons, plus: - No one has noticed that they haven't touched the Advent calendar since Day 2 - Hung a few ornaments then called it quits; ditto rolled/cut a few cookies - these used to be cherished family activities - Last night's "Christmas movie" was DieHard (that was a stretch IMHO) - After an admittedly rough semester, have announced that all they want to do over break is play video games (I'm not going to let it happen, but there will be much grousing.) - And the whole gift thing. I bought them an unrequested Lego set just because a major Christmas morning tradition was assembling a new set together right in the middle of the living room mess. I think they will still like that. And per the Hive, I got the Bubble Calendar for DS15 - he still loves popping bubble wrap. Christmas was always a big deal here, struggling to find a new footing.

Explorer. Sometimes get lost (once my dog was the one to find the trail back to the car - "Wanna go home?" worked), more often have adventures. I do this whether out in nature or meandering a new city. The latter drives my family nuts - "Where are we?"