I took a course called History of the Middle East in college and still don't really understand any of it. I remember taking the class and thinking, how ridiculous it was that the US ever went to war in the middle east thinking it would be easy. It's SOOOOOOO complicated and layered that I'm not sure many outsiders will ever fully understand.

It is certainly possible, if the younger dog has had an ear infection before that she associates the smell of the infection or the medication with pain. But I think it could also be that she is trying to figure out her place in the "pack" now that she is an adult.

lol, pretty much. Would be easier to say when I don't read, than when I do, lol. Yup, wasn't going to admit it, but I do read in the bathroom. I do wipe my phone down often, I swear!

2 yrs old is about the age for social maturity, so a normal time for dogs to challenge the status quo and assert their newfound adult status. That said, it does sound like she would be better off in a different home, and you may want to contact golden retriever rescue in your area about that.

I can't remember if we have discussed this before, but just in case you were not aware, a church calling itself Anglican in the USA will be a splinter group that left the Episcopal Church. There are two main ones - one left over women being ordained in the Episcopal Church and the other left LGBTQ ordination and gay marriage. So they will be more conservative than an Episcopal Church, which is the branch of the Anglican Communion in the USA. The splinter groups that call themselves Anglican are generally NOT actually part of the Anglican Communion. (again, this only applies to the USA) I agree you have to look beyond the denomination. Our diocese of the Episcopal Church is much more conservative than the denomination as a whole and our Bishop is one of the few in the country that refuses to oversee same sex marriage. There is a convoluted process to get around that but only one parish in the whole diocese has managed it (or perhaps they are the only one that wanted to bother). The rest have a strict no same sex marriage policy. I had no idea that was the case when I moved here from the Diocese of Southeast Florida. We now attend a UCC (United Church of Christ) church. The denomination as a whole is open and affirming (they were the first to ordain a gay minister back in the 1970s) but because it has a congregational polity that doesn't mean every individual congregation is open and affirming. I do appreciate, however, that you can go to the denomination website and get a list of churches in your area, AND they will indicate if they are Open and Affirming. Ours is. I learned today we are the only church in the city of Winter Park that performs same sex marriages, even in this day and age! A good resource for finding open and affirming churches is gaychurch.org.

if I log into our phone account online with Tmobile I think I can see all the numbers that texts are going to and from, although not the actual texts themselves.

I read while I have my coffee, I read during lunch, I listen to audio books while cooking and always when doing dishes or folding laundry or mopping or other chores. I sit down and have a cup of coffee and some quiet time in the afternoon and read then. I read in the bathtub at night. And then I read sitting next to my DD6 while she falls asleep at night most nights (I read on my phone or kindle so I don't need the light on). Then I read in bed before going to sleep. Oh, and I listen to audio books in the car if I don't have the kids with me. If DH is driving I will read while we are on the way to church or wherever. I will read on my phone while standing in line at the store even.

huh, wonder if maybe it was just that my pharmacy was only doing ages 12 and up?

I get it. I will say, it was profoundly healing to find a church that aligned with how I saw those issues, and where I didn't have to hide myself, or pretend to fit in, or express why we don't think that way on the way home in the car, etc. There ARE churches out there that are fulling affirming of LGBTQ people. If you want help on how to find them, we can do that.

I thought it was only for over age 12?

Yeah, in the US in most hospitals women are checked fairly frequently and told to push once the cervix is fully dilated.

I was going to jump up and down and tell you to go the the Museum of Life and Science in Durham...but then I saw you won't have the kids with you.

And as son as you stop, it stops, right? So not the same worry about side effects, etc.

Here is it mostly just epidurals. Sometimes IV meds, but usually epidural. No gas and air.

It was more that I was choosing to avoid positions that put baby in a position to make me have the urge to push, if that makes sense? When I squatted, there was enough pressure of him on my cervix/vaginal wall/whatever that I felt pushy. If I stood upright the pressure was off and I could ignore everything. Also, he had a bulging bag of waters still. That was cushioning things. We did agree at that point - when I was hungry and tired and wanted to eat pizza and take a nap - that breaking my water would speed things along since then his head would be directly where it needed to be. And yes, we did that, I squatted, baby was out in. 20 minutes I think. (I was allowed food in labor - I just didn't WANT food in labor. They had to keep shoving a straw in my mouth to keep my hydrated - watered down apple juice from what I remember) Like I said above, I don't really want food while I'm in heavy labor. But I'm instantly STARVING the minute baby comes out. Plus my blood sugar crashes, adrenaline crashes, and I get a little shocky every time. Like, not medically shocky dangerous thing, but I shake and feel out of it and get lightheaded - vagal response plus low blood sugar. With baby #2 my best friend in the world hand fed me grapes while I nursed (nursing always helped stop the shakes). Then DH brought me a smoothie my midwife made for me, then the pizza. With #3, my 10lb plus giant headed one, I was flat on my bad with baby on my belly still wet and juicy and called for Scotch, because I'd learned by then that that vagal/emotional/whatever type of shock responded well to a sip of hard liquor. They brought me a tiny bit in a glass, but I we realized I couldn't drink while laying flat on my back and I had no energy/urge to move. So my good friend (who had been doing the hip press for me earlier) fed me aged Scotch via medicine dropper 🙂. That probably doesn't happen in hospitals, lol. No bar there. Then once I was up into a chair I ate my dang pizza and had some gingerale I think, and then cake. I forgot - DH and DD had made birthday cake while I was laboring in the other room. With DD1 I had made the cake myself while in labor. With my c-section I wasn't allowed food yet after surgery so everyone ELSE ate cake and that made me mad so I had cake after all the others. We had to wait a day though, with the last one as she was born less than an hour after walking in the door to our house. I did get pizza again though. Always pizza! And cookies. We actually stock up and have a big buffett of food for the midwife, assistant, friends, family, etc whenever I give birth. So jealous of the gas and air. I would love that option for pushing! There is ONE hospital in Florida that has it, I think, and as of now no midwives have it that do out of hospital births. If it helps, in my state they assign you a "risk score" if you want an out of hospital birth. Over a certain score and you have to consult with a doctor, and if it is too high you risk out of home birth. After a c-section you get I think 2 "points" for being a VBAC, and have to consult with a doctor. But after you have had one successful VBAC those points go away, and you are considered as safe as a normal vaginal birth and no longer need the consult. So, I'd say if you have had one VBAC you can treat yourself like any other mom that has had a vaginal birth. In fact, you are less risky than a woman having her first birth. OMG how could I forget this!!!!! With my 9lb and 10lb babies this was what saved me!!!! I dont' know if I actually needed the extra space in my pelvis, or if the counterpressure just psychologically helped me FEEL like my bones were not going to fly apart at the seams. Because they FELT like they were going to fly apart at the seams and I'd explode and we would all die. (I actually chanted that during transition/early pushing with my first, while we waited for the anesthesiologist for my c-section - I was chanting "I'm going to die, the baby is going to die, we are all going to die" over and over, and what I MEANT was I was going to EXPLODE. Literally my pelvis was going to explode. But my crappy CNM at that birth had NO idea what to do, did NOT recognize that I was in transition - HOW DID SHE NOT KNOW?????? A WOMAN SAYING EVERYONE IS DYING IS IN TRANSITION!!! I DON'T CARE HOW DILATED SHE WAS OR WASN'T 20 MINUTES AGO! - and didn't explain why I felt that way or offer counter pressure on my hips or do a dang thing other than wait in the corner and then get yelled at by the surgeon for not having me in the OR already) I was told that I made the midwife assistant's muscles sore for days from having her do the double hip squeeze on me with my first VBAC - I kept saying to do it harder. And my very good friend did it for me in my next labor. This was in the very early stages of pushing and right before - once baby was past that tight bit I didn't need or want anyone touching me at all. Oddly, and this is TMI, but as a young child I had a lot of issues with constipation and it hurt to poop. I REMEMBER being 3 yrs old and begging my mom to "hold my knees down" while I pushed out my poop, because I felt I was going to fly off the toilet or something. I needed that counter pressure. It seems it was the same in labor. Looking back, I'm not sure I would have had those 2 VBACs without the double hip squeeze - especially that first one. And I really wonder why more nurses/doctors don't know about it or do it in hospital births? It's freaking amazing. Even if all it does is let you know your pelvis won't explode.

Definitely not a failure - sometimes those kids have minds of their own! Or just get lost, lol.

Ok, so not just me? So many women say they prefer the pushing stage, but I HATE the pushing part. HATE IT. I actually was 10 cm for a long itme with my big kid because I was trying to avoid pushing! Any position that put more pressure on my cervix and that made me want to push I avoided. Finally I got hungry and said FINE and squatted a bit, which I had been avoiding because it made me want to push, and yup, he was out 10 minutes later. It was so funny because everyone kept saying, "you just have to push, and then you will get to see your baby!" and I would say, "I don't CARE about that, I just want a pizza and a nap and I can't have those until this baby comes out!" But yeah, I HATED that sensation of my bones moving apart. UGH. And with that big one at one point I had bad hip pain because he was putting pressure on a nerve bundle - the hip pain was worse than the ring of fire or anything else- after he was born I had a numb spot on my leg for about 2 weeks from that nerve being pinched or whatever. I was fine with no medication for labor, but pushing? I would have LOVED a little something just for that part. It just does NOT feel okay. At all.

Yup. Truly, I have no idea how women manage to have babies staying in bed most of the time, reclined. That was the most awful position for me. Hands and knees, rocking, walking, standing, squatting, etc. Those were tolerable at different times during the labor, but I had to keep moving/swaying/changing positions.

I did find that I was in a different position to push with each kid, and usually not the same position that I was laboring in earlier. With my 10lb giant head kid I actually flipped over from hands and knees to on my back a few minutes before he was born - it was total instinct and flipping seemed to rotate him a bit and out he came. I had spent most of that labor in the shower standing up. I could NOT get in the birth pool or do anything but stand up until I started pushing and at that point went hands and knees until flipping. My 9lb kid I labored in the pool on hands and knees and delivered squatting on a stool. (sat too long on the stool though which meant blood pooled in my nether regions and I had a lot of swelling and bruising in areas you don't want bruised with that one, I should have changed positions a few times). With the last I labored standing up in the shower, then was half on the couch/half off, then pushed her out on my hands and knees. But she was so fast that was sort of more me trying to get back to the shower and not making it and just collapsing into that position and out she came before I knew what was happening. But yeah, different with each, and with each I was changing positions right up until they came out. I think if I were medicated to the point I couldn't move it would have been way harder. In fact, with my one c-section (where I was pushing but they didn't believe me and had already made the plan for a c-section) I TRIED to change position - I started to scramble off the bed and got tangled in my IV/internal heart rate monitor. I felt like an animal in a snare/net and it was the worst moment of my life - I literally ended up with PTSD from that birth and would still have flashbacks to that moment a decade later. Movement was THAT vital and instinctive to me in labor and while pushing in particular. I still think that had I been able to get off the bed and move I likely would have delivered him before they could get me up to the OR.

So, as an update, the swollen lymph node or whatever was making things feel weird is mostly better now. Shot was monday, today is thursday. Arm is no longer painful to move either, at injection site, but wouldn't want a massage there or pressure.

There are a few different factors I know of. 1. some women will have a "break" between getting to 10cm and getting the urge to push. This break can take a while, but it isn't something some doctors are comfortable with - they want baby out ASAP. So women who are 10cm are told to push when they really are not ready yet, or baby isn't low enough for it to be effective. Other doctors/midwives will let mom "labor down" for a while and often that urge does kick in. 2. Position of both mom AND baby. If baby is in a funky position (head is crooked/asynclitic) the head may not be pushing evenly on the cervix, or may not be descending far enough down to trigger the "ejection reflex" and urge to push. Most midwives will have mom change positions and try to get baby to back up/go higher where they have room to straighten out and and then come back down again. Again, this is not in line with the "everything must move forward, never backward, and progress should be linear" attitude many hospitals have. Plus depending on how strong the epidural is or how strict the hospital is or how knowledgable the staff is mom may not be able or encouraged or even allowed to try switching positions to see if baby can get into a better position. BTDT. Have a c-section to show for it. But also, the urge may be stronger or weaker depending on mom's position and how baby is pressing on her. And position can change how effective the pushing is. In some positions the pelvis is actually smaller than others. Laying on your back traps the tailbone for instance. 3. Some women do not recognize the push urge when they have it. I didn't at first. I felt "grunty" but not some "need to push" that I expected. I WAS pushing, but didn't realize that is what I was doing. I don't realize I'm "pushing" until baby is almost out. In my first birth I was in a hospital, no one checked me after I thought I might be pushing because I was so unsure about it and because at least check I was only 5 or 6 cm so they didn't think I could have progressed that much that fast - and then I had a c-section. It wasn't until my next birth (at home) that I realized "yup, that's pushing! Dang it!". And only because I continued to do it harder and harder to the point I knew I was doing it for sure. (I still wasn't sure I was pushing at first...same for all my births - and all were unmedidated other than the epidural given right before my c-section) 4. Meds may dull the sensation. . But mostly, yeah, there is definitely a lack of patience to see if baby will move down more and trigger the reflex. Meds can dull the sensation. Positioning can make pushing less effective. I think size of baby is not as big a factor - my 40 hour plus slow labor with eventual c-section because no one checked me and I was pushing baby was under 8lbs. My 9lb baby was 9 hours of labor that were pretty textbook until pushing, and then I pushed for about 30 minutes max. My 10lb baby was 10 hours of labor, and less than 20 minutes of pushing. Last was 8.5lb and maybe 5 minutes of pushing, only 3 real pushes. But, I tend to go slow, then fast, etc etc. It's not linear. First birth the hospital was not okay with that, and there was a real lack of competent care. Now I have adhesions sticking my uterus to my bladder to show for it. (and records that state my pelvis was too small....after my 10lb 2oz kid was born with a 15cm head I wanted to find my old OB and tell him off, lol)

Allergies to guinea pigs are really common - if you have a family member allergic to dogs I would not get one. Bunnies too - same issue. I actually WAS allergic to cats but working in a vet office that treated dogs and cats led to me getting over the allergy. Then one day a cat came in that I was horribly allergic to, after years of no issue with cats. Turns out, the cat liked to sleep under their bunny cage at home! I was reacting to the bunnies, not the cat, lol. I've had a hedgehog - they are not cuddly, their little spikes leave a rash on a lot of people, and they make a MESS in their cage. They have to have a wheel, and it can't be a slotted wheel because their little feet can get hurt. Has to be a solid wheel. Which seems fine until you find out they poop WHILE RUNNING ON THE WHEEL!!!! So they get poop all crusted on the wheel every single night, and on their feet. So so so gross. Honestly, most small mammals are NOT great pets unless you can devote a lot of space and time to them. And then they still can cause major allergic reactions.

Ugh, I'm sorry. Our church has advertised on our Trunk or Treat event flyers that allergy friendly treats will be available at each station. But, we are very "woke" as far as churches go, so I can't say how a more conservative one would be. Most of the candy is supplied by the families - each family with a car in the trunk or treat will bring candy to give out, but the church supplies the non food/allergy friendly treats and delivers them in a small bag to each car for us to give out.

I got mine on Monday, and also got a flu shot (one each arm). My arm was sore, and I felt a little under the weather about 24 hours later - like achy and cranky. My arm was pretty sore but is better today (48 hours later) but I think I've got a swollen lymph node or two in that arm pit, as it feels a bit weird to put my arm at my side. Nothing I can palpate, but feels odd/pinchy. Worst part of it all is my car battery died while I was inside Walgreens getting my shots, lol. DS 24 had to come jump the battery so I could go home.

Yeah, i get it, but I'd get that job if possible because 1. having a job makes it more likely someone will hire you. For reasons that make no sense, but are there none the less. 2. You can stop putting so much on credit card. 3. Taking a job like that and then worst case losing it when you call in sick is better than not having had it at all, most likely. Also, often people will schedule interviews during a lunch break, or simply say they have a medical appointment and skip lunch to make up the hours, etc.