Wow…never thought of this as a family gift. Get one for one of the kids but then the parents try it out and decide to get one too. Maybe I’ll get a couple varieties for my kids and then we can try a few out before we decide on one we like. This is a great thread.

We had a nice number of trick or treaters. Not sure how many but it was really only from about 6:00-7:15 and it was enough to be fun but not so many to be overwhelming. We also live at the top of a hill so while a lot of people probably come from surrounding areas to our more densely populated neighborhoods only the committed or the actual neighborhood kids make it to the top of the hill. This is our first year in this neighborhood and it is a more upscale neighborhood than we have ever lived in before. It sounds awful but it was the first time it hasn’t been a little uncomfortable with some of the characters that have shown up on Halloween. There were always older kids in very scary costumes or groups of older kids with no costumes at all or adults coming to the door or kids coming very late after our lights are out. Those things can be a little unsettling. When else do you just open the door after dark to strangers and stand there and chit chat? I’m not against older kids trick or treating (before I get bashed). But I’m just being honest that a bunch of kids bigger than me in scary costumes or no costumes banging on my door after my lights are out is a little uncomfortable. We didn’t have any of that in our new location and that was really nice.

I can get the mom asking about the phone because I would want to know that it came from the harmless boy at co-op and not from some grown man my dd was communicating with or something like that. She can’t have the illicit phone regardless and I’m not seeking for the boy to be disciplined or blamed or anything but in defense of the mom I don’t blame her for wanting to find the source if her dd isn’t telling or she doesn’t believe her. So while I have been hard on the other mom in this thread I’d give her a break on that. But if I was that mom I probably would have been more clear about just trying to identify the source to keep my child safe and know what I was dealing with, not because I was seeking to be involved with her parenting of her son at all.

I like Reese’s and Twix but I enjoy finding things in Halloween hauls that are less common. Heath bars, Milk Duds are favorites. It’s been a few years but Charleston Chews and Bit o’ Honey would make my Halloweens when they showed up. I introduced my kids to Charleston Chew a few years ago and they thought I was nuts to enjoy that. I always thought it common knowledge that the chocolate based candy was superior but I have a couple kids that would go for Skittles and gummies over chocolate bars so now I buy a variety to hand out. Though growing I did always hoard those little double packs of Sweet Tarts when we were trading.

She really needs to parent her own child and let you parent yours. I can’t stand this stuff. When I found the burner phone my son’s girlfriend had given him (because I had my kid put his up overnight and because I had access to it) I dealt with my own kid. I didn’t call the other mom. I knew her well but I had my hands full with my own house. Of course there are some things that raise to the level of getting the other parent involved but that bar is way way higher than this stuff. And getting other adults involved? Administrators at the homeschool thing? Oh no. Over a crush? Even if he had given her a burner phone going to the administrators at the homeschool center? Oh no.

With a couple of 15 yos that like each other you are usually in a losing battle trying to make that not happen. You don’t need to facilitate dates or allow tons of phone time. You don’t even need to allow social media. You can set all kinds of rules but it’s hard and counterproductive (in my opinion) to come down too hard on this like it sounds like her mother is doing. You don’t need to acknowledge it. You can ignore it. But trying to completely squash it is setting up all kinds of battles when most of these things just burn out and go away soon enough. It’s pretty normal for 15 yos to like each other. Not saying you send them off on solo dates or help them buy gifts or invite them for dinner but trying to restrict a couple 15 yos from crushing on each other would just be pointless in my house and it would make me seem so unreasonable I’d fear losing credibility on the big stuff. I get it. Teen dating is a big mess and best avoided and 15 is young. But these are normal and natural feelings too that maybe need to have some space to exist. Said by a mom with a lot of experience who once found a burner phone given to her son by a girlfriend.

I think it is a nice idea. But I do think it is a huge idea to come up with without consulting everyone prior and saying “hey this is what I am thinking, what do you all think?”. Now, I do get that that will invite all kinds of opinions and drama and such that one wants to avoid but it just sounds like a dictate that siblings are likely to bristle at. If there is any kind of sibling rivalry, dysfunctional relationships, loaded history such a plan is likely to be met, by at least one sibling, with an eyeroll and “bossy brother says we are all going to Boston and no spouses allowed. Yes sir whatever you say.” Well…that might be how I would react. It’s just too big of a plan to make without consulting everyone. But consulting everyone can be a mess. Families are complicated.

I think I am a rule follower to a fault and afraid to make waves. I am getting better but I think the ideal is somewhere between what is quoted above and always going along to get along. I posted about my rule following dd carrying ibuprofen in the other thread. I was kind of glad to see her make that choice on her own because I would probably have been paralyzed by the rules at her age. (And in her specific case it would be unnecessary because there is really very little discipline at her school and it isn’t a risk she is going to get suspended if she is caught). My dd’s school has a lot of rules it does not enforce. For example the dress code. I don’t like seeing my dd stressing about her skirt length being a fraction of an inch too short when other girls are wearing it so short it looks like they aren’t wearing any bottoms under their sweaters at all. So, while I don’t want her thwarting rules or making trouble for herself I would like to see her not put extra constraints on herself no one else is working under. I think I did a lot of that to myself. It isn’t fair to make your own life harder following rules that no one else is and aren’t being enforced. But you have to have a sense of where the line is there.

What I am saying is that I don’t believe these requirements are actually being required. I don’t believe in anyway that all the high schoolers graduating in my state are proficient in a math beyond algebra 2. I think there is some kind of fuzzy stuff going on and they are naming courses one thing and passing kids along. Just putting the requirements on a document and on a transcript does not mean that kids are meeting them. My state is not known for robust education . So I don’t believe you would have been denied a diploma and I don’t believe kids like you are denied a diploma, nor do I think they should be. Our state requires everyone to take the ACT and those scores don’t reflect that these requirements are being met. So I’m just skeptical that these requirements being on paper means a whole lot of anything.

I was going to share the Hershey’s chocolate cake recipe. I generally think cake mixes are very strong performers but that chocolate cake is excellent and people just go crazy over it when I take it somewhere. Someone on some baking show did the boiling water in a chocolate cake trick and I was like that is my trick! Don’t tell everyone! As if it isn’t on the Hershey’s cocoa box. Top secret! 😂

Our state does require four years of math including one year beyond algebra 2. That said, I have never met someone who did not graduate because they couldn’t do the math or that was denied a diploma who attended school regularly so ??? And tons of kids get to community college and remediate these classes. So what are we doing here anyway? Just sayin. I don’t have the answers. I have never had anyone in public school so I’m not that familiar. I just have the questions.

Pancakes. I see someone else said it. I just can’t get it right. Waffles it is.

My 10th grade dd is a total goodie rule follower (and she comes by that honestly) but she carries ibuprofen on her and takes it as needed. That said, her school is lax on all the rules and if anyone saw her I’m sure they would just pretend they didn’t and she isn’t under threat of actual discipline without any warnings. So, she isn’t really in fear of getting in big trouble. But this is the only rule so far she is willing to break. She isn’t giving up her ibuprofen access. Being a girl is hard enough.

At my dd’s school the advanced classes have textbooks but the regular classes tend not to. It’s not an absolute but that is the trend. On the first day of school they go to the library to pick up textbooks and some leave empty handed and the high achievers have to make multiple trips. I’m glad my dd has books but of you know there might be other kids that would benefit from them too. The rich get richer.

I pick a color I like and then look at what colors are suggested to go with it. There are always suggestions on the card or website but you can also Google and find suggestions on blogs. I honestly could never tell. I can’t tell what is warm or cold or what color undertones anything has. No way. Even if you tell me I can’t see it. So I just let someone else tell me what coordinates. I trust the professionals whoever they are and if they are wrong I will never know the difference myself anyway. Pick what you like. I used to go with bold colors but now I go with neutrals and decorate with bold pillows and accessories. It’s less pressure and easier to change up. But you can go either way.

I think to eat in restaurants and stay in hotels you just have to decide not to think about things… and not thinking about things for an hour or a night or a week is different than making a purchase that you bring into your home. That said gross stuff happens in factories and warehouses and retail establishments so we best not think too hard about any of it. It we want things to make actual sense.

I like the idea of buying used but outside of houses and cars I just have never gotten into it. I always see thrift shops recommended whenever someone is searching for something and I just have never had luck finding things in those and the idea of looking through garage sales for that needed item just sounds so not fun to me. The times I have gotten things used I have generally been disappointed. I guess I really wanted it new but for a used price 😞 I’m cheap and I’m not picky. So it’s not that I’m a snob, really. I’m embarrassed because I feel like it doesn’t really fit my personality for me to sit here saying I don’t buy things used. But I really don’t. I buy cheap crap from Walmart and Amazon and I’m not proud. I’d feel better about myself if I could claim I scoured thrift shops for high quality items that had been abandoned and I rescued them. But no. I am instant gratification cheap junk I guess. Or high quality exactly what I want when I want it if I care enough. But I haven’t had luck with used. It’s part snob and part lazy I guess. It’s not I “wouldn’t” as a philosophical thing (besides the obvious underwear and hygiene and personal stuff) but rather just a I “don’t” I guess.

Oh man. I honestly don’t think there is a polite way. If it was me I would find myself a better team I could join and just quit those. I know you are too involved with running them to do that but that is what I would do. There should be a way to do this. What you are wanting is reasonable and makes sense. I just don’t think there is. You just are going to look like a jerk I think.

There will still be some places hiring in the spring but some have already made their hires. Definitely not too early to start looking. My ds from the OP had some time before he had to officially accept this internship so he has had more interviews and offers this month. So hiring for summer 2024 is definitely happening in some industries.

My dd is in 10th grade at a Catholic school. The teachers have a lot of freedom in grading policies so it varies widely. The teachers that don’t give a lot of extra credit/allow retakes take so much heat from the parents. I appreciate that my dd has a variety of teachers and styles to deal with so she is prepared for college. It’s nice when she gets extra credit opportunities but I so appreciate her having some honors and AP classes where the grading is more straight forward so she actually has a realistic understanding of grading. She has had some classes where she had so many 100s for attendance or participation and extra credit that she literally had zeros for missing assignments and still had grades in the high 90s. That seems silly. She had a geometry class that had so many extra credit opportunities that one day she got in the car and said “I got a 115 on my geometry test. I better go see the teacher and make sure I understand all the stuff I messed up.” It’s silly but what about the kid that got a 90 with a ton of extra credit and their parent thinks they are doing great? I’d want to know that my kid actually was missing a lot and that the 90 wasn’t really out of 100. It is really hard to know how you are really doing when everything comes back 100. My dh teaches an online cc class and it is obvious these students expect these policies. He gets challenged when he takes off any points at all. Students act like anything less than 100% is failing and get really upset. They also have an expectation of constant retakes. He teaches a lab science and his students expect to be able to get feedback on the labs and resubmit with corrections for full credit. And after quizzes he gets emails that say “I need you to reopen the quiz so I can retake it”. Not even requests just the straight up expectation that you can repeat work until the desired grade.

Maybe think of having this “big tough country” guy record the song as the part of the checkout girl so Chapman can cash in and retain control makes it the ultimate girl power song? Just kidding. I don’t care if anyone likes it or not and haven’t thought about it that much. 🙂

I think it is a song about poverty and bad relationships and how hard it is to break out of that cycle. I think it is about a hetero couple even though Chapman is gay. I don’t necessarily think of it as a girl song just because I think the content is relatable and relevant and it is a great song and a guy could hear Tracy singing it and relate to it as a child in that situation or his mom’s story. I don’t mind the Luke Combs version but I think I just like the song coming back around. I don’t know how much sense it makes if the Combs version is your first exposure to it. It doesn’t bother me because it isn’t his song he is just singing a cover of her song and for that reason the “checkout girl” line just kind of works fine.

I also prefer a green salad to any of the veggie casseroles. We do heavy charcuterie (well we don’t call it that because we are Italian and have always done it before it was cool) so I like to stick out a bowl of salad greens and a few dressings with the charcuterie and veggie trays and there you have a salad bar.

We have definitely adopted the homemade Mac and cheese as southern transplants. Homemade Mac and cheese is never wrong. And it is actually a great holiday dish for a crowd because it is easy to make a big batch to help fill up the big eaters. And we try to eat healthy most of the time so it is a treat. So mac and cheese is definitely a standard for us now. My dd makes it but I would if she didn’t!

I’m thinking of Thanksgiving…if you have been around here and have a good memory you will know I have posted rants about being overworked and under appreciated and trying to find solutions to that while still hosting and still feeding my family and not causing a family fracture over mashed potatoes. So this year I have placed and order with a catering company. Yay! It will cover the basics and take a lot of pressure off. I still plan to add lots of odds and ends that are easy and that I want to do -not that I am required to do. I think we will need the added quantity and variety. And I do like to cook and host it just is too much to do everything. so I’ve got turkey, gravy, potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, a veggie, and rolls off my plate beyond reheating which I will have to coordinate. So, I have some freedom to add to the menu and it got me wondering what things families have as their own traditions that aren’t really standard fare. My family used to have a full Italian course and now still sometimes has eggplant parmigiana. In the south macaroni and cheese is a standard but I swear I never heard of that until we moved south but I shouldn’t talk because we were having lasagna and Italian sausage as a course before the turkey and mashed potatoes. What do you always have that isn’t typical Thanksgiving but is your family tradition?