How hard do you work to retain family relationships when it feels one-sided? I have a sister that I'm close to but lives in another state. I feel like I'm always the one to initiate the phone calls. If I call and she's not there, I'll leave a message and she'll usually call back. It just feels like she doesn't initiate the phone call. It leaves me wondering how much she cares about our relationship when she doesn't call me just to chat. Last year I would call her once a week and we talked for 20-30 minutes. It's been a busy summer, but this fall I've been waiting to see how long until she calls me. I think I've called her twice since school started and one of those times I left a message but she didn't call back. Right now I'm waiting for her to call me. I recognize some of the reasons she doesn't return my phone call: she's busy, she has lots of family (including my parents) in her town and can talk about personal things with them, I can be hard to know when to call because I work part-time, and my phone can be wonky. The thing is, I have other sisters who are far away and we trade off calling and it's not a big deal. If she can't get a hold of me, she could text me saying she tried to call and would love to catch up. She is good about texting on my kids' birthdays or personally calling me on my birthday. I just feel like I might be losing the close relationship we had. She's the sister that is closest to me in age, and I consider her one of my best friends. I was also disappointed this summer because I was out where she lived, but we didn't have any one-on-one time without kids due to scheduling, holidays, and being with other family members. I would have loved just a few hours together, or even staying up chatting at night. I probably won't see her in person again for another 2-3 years. I know I might be passive aggressive waiting for her to call me and feeling sad when she doesn't. It would just be hard for me to bring this up with her without seeming needy. The truth is she has close friends and family who are right there in town with her. And I do have other friends and family members. Maybe I'm just mourning that we're at different stages and she doesn't need my companionship as much as I might want hers. Maybe she's just not a phone person as much as I am. I'm just wondering if I'm stubborn in not calling her and reading more into the relationship than I should. Would you still call a sibling or really close friend on a regular basis to maintain a relationship if they very rarely called you?

I posted on the other thread, and thought I should post on this one, too. Things I love: After renting for 11 years, we finally own a home Affordable mortgage Back patio with table we built Porch swing on front patio Large front and back yard Walkable to library, high school, small downtown area with dining, bike trails We have 2 bathrooms and one is an en suite Large bedroom closets We can close off the kitchen and family room from rest of house Large 2 car garage with space to have tools and workout equipment Nice neighbors Good schools Lots of light in main living spaces

The worst thing about the house is the anxiety it's brought me. We became homeowners for the first time a year ago, and up until then we rented. I don't know if the anxiety that I've had this past year is just due to being a homeowner or because of this specific house. We bought this house because it was well within our price range, had a lot of outdoors space, and was in our ideal location. When we got it inspected there was some issues that we had to clear up such as a leaking roof/chimney, a little bit of mold in the garage/laundry room, and some other issues. The seller did give us some concession for repairs, but the risk was all on us. Luckily we had a month to do some of the more major repairs before moving in. In the first year we've: Replaced the roof and chimney Replaced a shower Redid both bathroom floors Replaced a fair amount of the indoor plumbing (but not the plumbing in the crawl space) Remedied the mold Replaced the gutters Replaced sliding patio door Painted some rooms Got water softener and replumbed main shutoff valve Electrical work Still to do: Add insulation to the attic Replace flooring in half of house Replace most if not all windows Redo some of the kitchen including counters, flooring and oven Paint more rooms Repave very long and large driveway Decorate rooms once floors are done Redo the shed Remove some branches from larger trees For our area we have a lower mortgage, and so thankfully we're trying to cashflow the updates to the house. The good news is that because of this location we see our house retaining its value. Thankfully as we tackle some of the bigger issues such as the plumbing, roof, etc., I'm a bit less nervous and it doesn't feel so overwhelming. I do still get nervous about pipes breaking, mold, etc. I'm also anxious about flooding since we don't have the best drainage and sit lower than other homes, plus there's two trees right where we would put French drains. Our house only has 3 bedrooms, but it has two living areas which makes it easier to feel like it has more space. Ideally I would like another room or office, but right now it's working. When I was struggling more with being satisfied with my house there was this phrase I saw on a blog and liked, "This house may not be our dream house, but it's the house where we're living our dreams." I also read the book "Love The Home You Have" which helped me realize I wasn't alone, and to be thankful and do the little things I could to appreciate this house.

We've done a mix of friends party, family parties, and special events with just one friend over the years. My youngest just turned five, and he has his first friend party this weekend. It will be fairly cheap, maybe $25-$30 total including food and party favors. My other two kids just got to do a special activity like going to a waterpark or ice skating with one friend this year. Their birthdays are always tricky because they're the same week, and so for half of their birthdays we've done some sort of combined party or parties on the same day right after each other. Right now I'm telling them that they trade off one year doing a friends party and the next just doing a simple activity with friends. Usually our friends parties are just at home or at the park where they're pretty inexpensive.

I'm trying to be more frugal this month. We use YNAB to budget, and I just redid some of the categories. I upped the amount on a few of them to more accurately represent what we really spend. I hope that by upping them, I won't go over and be discouraged and then spend extra. I also was able to finally sync my phone with YNAB, which I haven't been able to do in over a year. So here's to being better at tracking this month and keeping my spending within check.

We do most of our travel by driving. A few years ago we had a great fall break trip to Florida. It was 12 hours from our house and we drove there in one day. To save money, we camped and bought our food from a grocery store and cooked it. It was great. Our big splurge that trip was going on a dolphin boat tour. Oh, and having to call a locksmith because we accidentally locked ourselves out of our car while camping :huh:. We're lucky that we can get to most of the east coast as well as Florida within 12 hours from where we are. Unfortunately, my parents and other extended family live in Idaho, which is a 2-3 days drive. But seeing family is important to us, and if my parents are visiting other family within 12 hours of us, we try to meet them there. My husband's family and mine are spread across the country and so we can usually stay with family when traveling. We have yet to go on an international trip, but we hope to in the next few years. I hear right now that Europe is fairly cheap compared to prior years.

I use Grocery IQ. This app saves me so much time per week. You can set it up so that you have different lists and favorites for different stores. You can also enter prices for different grocery items at your store and put items in certain aisles and then organize those aisles. For example, I do almost all of my shopping at Aldis. I have created a list called "Aldis." In that each aisle/section is a "category" and then I assign food items to a category (dairy, bread, etc.) I add my most frequently bought items to my favorites list. When I'm creating my list I just go to my favorites, click on each item I want to add to my list, and assign it to my Aldis list. Then 90% of my list is done, organized into the category where it is in the store, and I have an estimate of my total cost. I then order my categories/aisles to how they flow in the store. When I go in the store, the list is organized from beginning to end, drastically simplifying my shopping trip. It does take some time setting up the items, prices, and categories, but it's so, so, so helpful. You have to edit the categories/aisles online. But they pull up on your phone's app. You can also add family members to send them the list or have them add items.

I've been mainly a lurker here for over 7 years, when my oldest was just a toddler. I researched homeschooling and thought it might work for our family. As time played out, we moved to a great school district and I started working part-time in my husband's business. So I've put our kids in school, and for the most part they're doing well. I still come to this board almost daily because of the breadth of information and the good people on this board. I've learned so much about almost everything. This board is full of people who value education and doing what's best for their kids, something I agree with no matter where my kids go to school. I still debate about pulling one of our kids from public school time to time, and will find myself researching homeschool again. If we ever take the plunge, I know where to go to for information!

I just started watching Turn and have enjoyed it so far.

I would guess 10-20 texts a month. It's mostly for contacting us (his parents) if we're out or if he's at some extracurricular activity and needs to get a hold of us.

Thanks for all the great suggestions! Off to research tonight....

We need to purchase a simple prepaid phone for our oldest for emergencies. It only needs text and minutes. We don't want to add it as a family plan because it'd be too expensive. Are there any good prepaid plans that you can spend $10-$20 and the minutes/texts last you for 3+ months? Plus, any cheap phones you'd recommend?

Thanks everyone! I was able to get 4 weeks of doxy prescribed. Now the pain is filling the prescription locally, but hopefully I should have it by tomorrow. I do like my doctor. Even though she hadn't heard of doing doxy for four weeks, she agreed to it. I didn't have any tests ordered. Technically this son has had antibiotics for a tick bit a few years ago. And with the rash just showing up I figured there might not be antibodies anyways. Plus, if I was going to push for one thing, it was the meds more than the testing. Thanks again for all the feedback!

I saw a small bulls-eye rash on my 9-year-old this morning and we have a dr's appointment for this afternoon. I took a couple of pictures in case it fades. For those with Lyme experience, what antibiotics should I request and for how long? Thanks!

When I ran cross country in high school I learned how to breath using my feet as a guide to avoid cramps. It's a habit that I still find myself doing today. The key is steady breathing, and then if you start to develop a side stitch to exhale more than you inhale. When I run I breathe in on my right foot and count 1-2-3 each time I step. So it's right (1), left (2), right (3). Then I exhale on my left for 3 counts. So exhaling is left (1), right (2), left (3) and then start over counting on my right. So it's one-two-three for inhale and then one-two-three for exhale with inhale beginning on my right foot and exhale beginning on my left foot. If I start to develop a stitch, I just exhale for five counts (starting on my left foot) instead of 3 counts and then inhale for 3 counts on my right, going back and forth until the stitch goes away. So inhale for 3 steps, exhale for 5 steps, until I'm ready to go back to 3 and 3. This breathing has really helped me over the years. I rarely get side stitches, and if I do I just go to 3, 5, 3 breathing for inhales/exhales. One thing that does give me side stitches is if I drink too much water while running. I can handle swallows, but not solid drinks.

I've lived in both Montana and Idaho, although briefly in each. They are both beautiful. Two of my favorite places in the world are Glacier Park and Kalispell, MT. They have gorgeous lakes nestled between mountains. Montana felt very remote, and was really cold and snowy in the winter. Boise area has a more mild climate than other parts of Montana and Idaho. I've had family/friends homeschool in Idaho and it seemed homeschool friendly. Some even received stipends for homeschool materials, but they may have had to report to the school district. We looked at moving to the Boise area a few years ago, but there wasn't the business opportunities that were in other areas of the country. It was also very far from other large cities and flights out of Boise are expensive. One funny thing about out west is that driving 4-5 hours to another city is fairly common and not that big of a deal. Where we are now in the midwest, driving that far seems like a long trip and not as often done.

We've been to his boyhood home in Indiana. It was interesting, but didn't talk much about his life past his teenage years. We did learn about his parents and saw his mother's grave. They also talked about his first time as a lawyer - defending himself. In the summer they have re-enactors in a pioneer type village. Since we went in the spring, we didn't see them, but I'm sure they're good.

A few years ago I was getting ready to go to my in-law’s house for Labor Day. I was showing the beginning signs of a miscarriage, and I posted to this forum for advice on whether I should stay or go. My in-laws were an hour away, and many posters encouraged me to stay home in case it progressed and because most likely I wouldn’t feel like being around others if it continued to progress. I was grateful to be able to get advice on what I should do in that circumstance as I had never had a miscarriage before and didn’t know what to expect. I’m the youngest of six girls, and usually I would talk to my sisters or my mom about things like pregnancy, etc., but in this case I was the first in my family to have a miscarriage and so I only talked to my mom (an OBGYN nurse) about physical symptoms. I did miscarry, and I was glad I was at home as it was more intense than I expected and more emotionally difficult than I thought it would be. Even though I made my own decision, it was very helpful for me to receive advice from other women about what they would do and then make my choices from there. As far as being private, I consider my family very close. We talk about a lot of things. When I miscarried, I only told my parents but told them that they could tell my sisters as I didn’t want to tell them each myself. Over the next few days I received calls from all of them (everyone lives long distance from each other) expressing their love and concern for me and my family. Even though I’m close to my sisters, it would have been very difficult for me to bring up the news to each and every one of them. I think everyone has different levels of privacy regarding miscarriages, pregnancy, etc., and will differ in who they will tell about their miscarriages. I wish society was more open as a whole about miscarriages, but I respect each woman’s right to share what she does or doesn’t want to share and with whom.

I think you have more than enough on your plate right now. My kids are a little older (9, 7, 4), but they don't make nearly the mess when they made when they were younger. Part of that is they've outgrown some of the toys with a million pieces and keep their mess more contained. I also don't have to watch them as closely as I watched my toddlers. A couple of months ago I watched some of my friends' kids, including a toddler, and it was amazing how messy my house was when they left. And I was so busy keeping an eye on their toddler, I couldn't have cleaned it up before or as I was going along. I agree with the others that this is a season of life where it's more messy, and something either has to give or you have to lower your standards, and hopefully your husband can understand and either step up or lower his standards as well.

I've had an interesting experience with this phenomenon. Earlier this summer, I was meeting a parent in a store parking lot to carpool to scout camp. The parking lot was fairly empty and it was in the morning before it was hot. My eight-year-old son was in the car alone while I was wandering around the parking lot (in easy eyesight) to see if I could find the other parent. I was walking about 20-50 feet away from the car. This lady walks right by the car, sees my son and says, "Oh my god. There's a kid alone in the car." She seems to be freaking out, and I was over there by the car in two seconds and assuring her that I was his mom and he was in my eyesight the whole time while I was looking for someone. She seemed ready to call the police within two seconds of seeing the kid in the car before I talked to her. It seemed to me that she wanted to be a hero and was almost excited to see this kid alone in the car so that she could do something and blame a parent somewhere. Being a hero by calling the police seems an easier route than being a hero and physically saving someone. Granted, if it's a hot day, an infant, and a call to the police is warranted, that's another story. But since my kid was eight, and could easily get out of the car if needed, I was just so surprised she would jump to such quick conclusions. She didn't even seem to assess the situation or wait a minute or two. It was lightning speed judgment. Perhaps such quick visceral reactions are because you just don't see kids in cars alone that much.

I usually precook ground beef and chicken then put it in baggies and freeze it. This way, when I want to use some, I can defrost it in the microwave and make a quicker dinner. Meals that don't use the precooked meat: French bread pizza Homemade pizza Frozen store bough ravioli Frozen chicken nuggets (sometimes with pasta and sauce) Quesadillas Meals using precooked meat: Stirfry: 1 bag of cooked, chopped chicken; 1 pack of stir fry vegetables, a little olive oil and soy sauce. Rice in the rice cooker. Spaghetti: Boil noodles and use store bought spaghetti sauce with pre-cooked ground beef Tacos or taco salad Couscous with vegetables and chicken Pesto pasta chicken with store bought pesto I also use freezer crockpot meals a lot and will sometimes freeze soups or meats that have leftover (BBQ chicken, etc) to have quicker meals.

Meal planning and cooking has been on my mind lately as I'm trying to get our back to school routine. This is what I've come up with to help teach my kids to cook and make cooking easier for me, too. Each week one of my two older kids (almost 7 and 9) is either my before or after dinner helper. The before dinner helper sits with me Sunday night and picks the meals (within a category) for the coming week. So the kids pick meals for Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. I also have two crockpot days a week that the kids don't help me with. Monday: Soup/Sandwiches (Pasta salad, Chicken salad, Chicken noodle soup, Minestrone, Cheese sandwiches, Lunch meat sandwiches, tuna sandwiches with canned soup, BLTs) Tuesday: Mexican (Tacos, quesadilla, taco salad, fish tacos, red beans and rice, burritos, Salsa chicken) Wed: Crockpot (Italian chicken, barbecue chicken, taco soup, pork burritos, Mongolian beef) Th: Italian/Asian (Spaghetti, baked ziti, bowtie sausage pasta, stir fry, Texas noodles, pesto pasta, fettucini alfredo) Friday: Pizza/Breakfast (Pepperoni, BBQ chicken, french bread pizza) Saturday: Crockpot (Italian chicken, barbecue chicken, taco soup, pork burritos, Mongolian beef, ribs) We've started this week and my son has already learned how to cook rice with a rice cooker, make french bread pizza (I put it in and take it out of the oven) and will be learning about cooking pasta tonight. I also do 95% of my shopping at one store (Aldis) which streamlines my shopping.

Thanks for all the replies! We toured both houses last night. I don't know that we'll make an offer on either house. The first home had some layout issues and other things I didn't realize. The second home had a strong cigarette smell, and with lots of wallpaper, wood paneling, and carpet, I don't know that it's worth it for us to invest time or money into it.

Thanks for the replies! We're walking through both of these houses tonight. If we want to make an offer, we will pay an attorney to look it over.

We are getting ready to buy our first home. We have talked to a lender, been prequalified, and are now in the preapproval process. We have not talked to a real estate agent yet. There are two homes on the market that we're interested in, both FSBO. House #1: In neighborhood we're familiar with, older homes, less expensive and smaller. The owner has it listed above what it will most likely appraise for. House #2: In neighborhood close to a lot of things we love, within our price range but closer to the top, in great condition and much larger than other house. We could be in this house for years and years. Priced competitively. I think the owner used to be a real estate agent. In our local real estate market houses that are priced well sell fast. So house #2 might not even be available next week. If we don't get either of these houses, something that will work for us will pop up in the next few months. We're not emotionally tied to them. My main question is since these are being sold FSBO is it wise to try to buy them without a real estate agent? We wouldn't want to pay the buyers agent commission if the sellers didn't pay it. From what I understand, once you agree to go with an agent you're committed, even if the seller doesn't want to pay their commission on a home you want. The reason we're thinking of going without an agent is to just have a strong offer and potentially get these homes. However, we don't want to be burned by not knowing the ins and outs either, which is a something that a real estate agent could provide. And since house #1 is likely too expensive, I don't know if they've factored in a buyer's agent commission into what it will appraise for. Any helpful hints on the best way to go about this would be great. We're not opposed to getting an agent, but we just want ideas on what to do for these FSBO homes.