This would be my dream Thanksgiving! It embraces the spirit of the holiday. Alas, my family is a cranberry sauce from a can and crescent rolls from a can kind of family so I don’t even bother. Enjoy!!

I’m so sorry.

Stuffed shells- 3 varieties-meat, cheese, veggie. I’ll make two flavors of focaccia. A salad. Pies to be named later, as T’giving week is Pie Week in our house and there’s a pie made every day. I’ll make two on T’giving, just not sure which yet. Appetizers are laid back, including deviled eggs, sausage balls, roasted pecans, and other stuff to be decided on when I see what’s on sale this week. We’re hosting, and there will be 15 of us. They voted and shells won. Nobody voted for traditional Turkey dinner.

Like yours, my dh will gladly do anything I ask. But the mental load is the hard part for me, and it’s what sucks the joy out of the holidays. We just had a discussion of what are the important things to include this year, and he’s working really hard to make it easier on me. But I’ve been carrying the mental load since we started having kids and the oldest just turned 40…and it’s just super hard for him to learn to carry a load he never gave a thought to.

I’m putting a skinny tree in my guest half bath, which is actually the one I use on a regular basis. We host for Thanksgiving and Christmas and I enjoy decorating for that. Anyway, these are a few wool felt ornaments I have made this month. Embroidery is NOT my strong suit!

In the past week I finished Think of Me by Frances Liardet. Sad, but a very good read. I just finished The Wish by Nicholas Sparks. Also so very sad, but I really enjoyed it. Currently reading a short book about a murder in our county in 1964, a killing of a black man by KKK members. Gosh, I think I need to seek some happy books to read.

I want to swap places with dh from now until after Christmas. Let him carry the mental load of planning and executing Thanksgiving and Christmas, including gift buying/wrapping/mailing. He could handle the logistics of doing our family traditions, choosing and planning activities for the season. He can meal plan and then buy and prep the food, and also communicate w the family about who is bringing what to each meal. We’re hosting both Thanksgiving and Christmas meals because my family wants to do it but nobody wants to host, I’ll be him. I’ll handle writing half the Christmas cards and help decorate the tree. I’ll help clean for guests, as long as I’m given a list. This is not a slam on him- it’s just that I’m tired of all the work that goes into the holidays and would love to be him. I have suggested skipping Christmas and going to the beach (every year for the past five years) but so far it hasn’t happened.

https://www.food.com/amp/recipe/americas-test-kitchen-beef-tacos-314504 This has been our favorite for a while. Very tasty, and it actually tastes good instead of just salty like using the packets tasted.

Our Frigidaire is 5 years old and cleans like a champ. No pre-rinsing or anything. We wanted to love Bosch but the one we bought was a bust. Leaked like crazy, had to rinse dishes before putting them in, and where we lived at the time it was nearly impossible to find someone to repair it. We must have gotten a rare dud Bosch because everyone loves them.

Congratulations! Best wishes on your new adventure!

You’re right that it’s not possible for you to change him. Is the site manager the same as boss lady? I know your boss doesn’t want to confront him or take your side, but I’d absolutely meet w her and lay out the worst of what you’ve posted above and tell her you really want to come back but you don’t feel valued when he is allowed to treat you the way he does. And ask if YOU did these things would you be allowed to get away with it. It’s a valid discussion to have while you’re deciding whether to come back next season. It stinks that he’s ruining a job you enjoy.

I only notice lingering cooking smells if I go outside for a while and come back in. Most of the time it doesn’t bother me. If it does I open the kitchen door and let some fresh air in.

This week our grands were talking about how great the parades were where we lived in Illinois. They especially loved the Father’s Day parade because June is dairy month and the parade participants threw good stuff like cartons of chocolate milk and cheese sticks. What they didn’t love but definitely remember is near the end of every parade there the VietNow group walked and one person was always in shackles and rags portraying a Vietnam POW. I appreciate their dedication to not forgetting those who didn’t come home, but it sure is a sobering way to end a parade.

Early this year we were coming home late at night and a car in front of us hit a pedestrian. We had to swerve to keep from hitting the poor guy. We pulled over to call 911 and try to help until police arrived. I was relating how awful it was to a friend and he asked if I took any pictures. No, you idiot! A guy died! Another is traumatized because he hit the guy. People can be awful. And I agree- don’t show me awful stuff just to enjoy my reaction.

If you’re on Instagram, I follow a girl named Serena (insta handle is Sewrena_ and she’s a vintage pattern collector. She wears vintage clothes that she makes almost all the time…it’s pretty neat. She might not buy them but I bet she’d put them to good use if they were gifted to her.

Our grandkids’ doc charges a fee for every form if it’s not requested when a prescription is originally prescribed. Boy grand has a migraine med and the form was ‘free’ last year when the med was prescribed but there was a fee to write one for this school year since of course they can’t use last year’s note. That was pretty annoying. Oldest grand (16) had cramps and a headache one day and I was at her house because her folks were away for a few days. The school tried to call dd to get permission to give grandgirl a Tylenol but she had no cell reception so Anna asked them to call me. They first had to look to see if I was a valid emergency contact, then did call to ask me. The school nurse asked me to prove who I was. Over the phone. I told her to look at Anna’s phone-she’d been texting me about the whole thing. Took more than an hour from when Anna texting about feeling bad and getting the stupid Tylenol.

We buy the groceries but ds buys his own snacks and drinks. He works at a restaurant I love and often brings me their homemade salad dressings, salads, rolls, and other yummies, either to add to our meals or he brings whole meals sometimes. It more than evens out the one meal a day he usually eats here. Toiletries- I buy toilet paper for his bathroom but he provides the rest. He uses my supplies to clean his bathroom. We provided insurance while dh was working because it didn’t cost more to have him on our policy. Once dh retired ds took over his own. He pays his own car insurance and cell phone. ‘We have no minor children, but ds doesn’t often travel with us. We’ve planned trips together but it’s not assumed that if we are going somewhere with the grands or even one of his siblings that he’s invited. If ds cooks for himself in the kitchen he cleans it up. Apart from that, dh and I clean the rest of the shared spaces. Ds handles trash collection and much of the yard care. I think it would be very different if we still had minor kids living at home and/or we were still working, though.

Youngest still lives at home and it’s a win-win for both us and him. We’re retired, and he works full time, so he’s gone most of 5 days a week. Whether he’e here or not we all do our own things, as we each have hobbies and interests we pursue. We’re all introverts and are quiet, so having him here isn’t a problem. We show each other mutual respect, and thus it doesn’t feel like a parent/child relationship, more like good friends. We let each other know when we’re going to be gone for dinner, or if we’re going to be going on a trip. We share our strengths- he is young and takes on some of the routine tasks that we don’t like doing in our 60’s. I cook most of our meals so making enough for him is very little additional work. I like having someone here to take care of the place when we travel. He likes having company since living alone can be lonely.

I’m sorry it makes you sad. That stinks. Honestly, I’d very much prefer dh take on some of my mental load than to fix my water bottle every day. I can refill my own water bottle. How about taking on some of the bajillion things I have to mentally keep track of and have to do? It’s almost November…time for homeowner’s renewal. Do we (me!) need to shop around? Also time to hire our lawn treatment service for next year. Christmas is coming…time to start shopping for kids and grandkids…property taxes due soon…time to choose and sign up for ACA coverage, which means I need to estimate next year’s income. 4 family birthdays in the next two months. And so on.

I don’t drink anything in the morning except ice water, but dh washes my water bottle every morning and it’s filled with ice and fresh water by the time I get up. He also makes sure I have at least one Coke Zero in the fridge so when it’s time for my daily drink it’s cold.

Same here- dh and I never thought our moms would pass before our dads, but that’s what happened. My dad had several heart attacks before I turned 20 and yet here he is, nearly 92, living independently. I think it’s going to be interesting moving forward- our parents smoked for years, 3 had years of food insecurity as kids, and my folks drank. Dh and I have never had those issues. Then again, dh and I have had much easier lives, less physical work than our parents…and that might be what hurts us. Who knows, ya know?

My very southern mother in law always had salad at T’giving but also called it ‘lettuce salad’ or ‘garden salad’ because there were other ‘salads’ on the table, like potato salad, jello salad, etc. The green salad was rarely eaten.

We do Italian because it’s easier than a full T dinner. I can make the shells/lasagna/manicotti the day before and enjoy T day. Nobody in my extended family really likes turkey and everything else we normally eat several times a year anyway…just not all at once. Dh grew up with Mac and cheese as a standard at Thanksgiving and his mom used one cup of dried macaroni whether it was the four original family members or the 10 it was when I joined the family. As the family grew the big Thanksgiving memory was whether you’d get any Mac and cheese or it would all be gone before it was passed your way. Weird as it sounds, it’s their fond memory.

John Denver was the first concert I ever went to, in Atlanta in 1975. My dad drove 14 year old me and my friend and waited at the Omni International til the show was over. Quite memorable because it was one of two childhood memories I have where my dad did something like that for me.

I really loved his music when I was a teen in the 1970’s. You feeling sad when you listen to his music makes sense since as a teen I had All The Emotions. And I loved the freedom he had- living in the mountains was my idea of freedom and nature was my escape. These days I love hearing one of his songs on a playlist or on the radio. His voice is lovely.