My dad passed last year and I got all the photos, including scrapbooks my grandmother made. I threw out all my Mom's scrapbooks of trips they did after they retired -- by going through each one and taking only the pictures with them in the picture and dumping the books and scenery. I expect there will be other photo's thrown out eventually but that was the easy choice given the amount of room we had to take things home (and Mom didn't make all those scrapbooks when we were kids or before). I plan to scan many of the photos and slides eventually and put them in central location available to any family member (Google is the place I have seen recommended most) -- but am not planning on scanning in a lot of scenery. Going through my Dad's stuff definitely has made me start going through my own stuff with an eye to keeping what my kids have to go through down -- and I've talked to them about it already too. I'm not getting rid of anything I still enjoy -- but personally I've found that a lot of times old photos don't hold up for me -- like what would have been a whole scrapbook when it happened might only need a few pages now kind of thing.

I think some of this difference is just word choice? But maybe that word choice matters to OP? Because I also like to be with my DH and kids but the way I think of and use the words, I don't feel 'love' feelings for DH or kids all the time or even on a daily basis. And I miss my kids (or my Mom who is years gone) when I think about them but I don't actually think about them all that often -- I'm busy thinking about what I'm doing, not pining for those I'm not with (I did think of my kids all the time when they were away from me when they were little -- but that was more worry than love IMO). Note: I didn't include DH (or younger DD really) in the missing because we're actually together in the same house pretty much all day -- and I definitely don't have feelings of missing someone who's just out running errands for an hour or so. ETA: for DD the older who is off at college, I talk to her every day --so I don't actually miss her all that much either, so maybe I only actually miss my Mom (and Dad and older brother who've passed on) and don't spend much time missing people I talk to regularly either. Sometimes I miss the things DD did while she was here though --which is not the same as missing someone because you love them (I'm missing how she jumped in and helped with the chores LOL)

For me personally, the period of being 'in love' is the only time I've had consistent ongoing feelings of "wanting to be with them, missing them, thinking about them, warm feelings." I do have moments where I get a burst of that feeling -- but definitely not on demand. I can't actually imagine expecting myself to feel like all the time about someone -- especially when I'm doing extremely tedious tasks like laundry, cooking meals or picking up toys (i.e. most of the day it seems like!) Personally I find just the fact that I'm still willing to do the tedious tasks for them as proof that I love them -- I don't expect myself to be having warm feelings while I do it.

There a lot of middle ground between one conversation that brought about no immediate change and moving out. FWIW I think it is good to remember that it is hard to change -- even when the person wants to change. So having a conversation with agreement to change and no apparent change seems pretty normal to me vs. the expectation that explaining + agreement should mean things are immediately mostly fixed. I would look at some of the repetitive responses suggested and try to think of ones that would work for you -- although I would probably start out with ones more along the lines of reminders of what was agreed on -- "we agreed that I would make these decisions". I would also be having conversations with my teens about how hard it can be to change. And probably trying to get everyone to have weekly meetings where they could say what worked for them that week and what didn't (even if the weekly meetings were just for me and my kids, and I took the information to the senior(just imagining my own situation if certain people moved in with us it would definitely have to work that way 😟) If there is no clear effort to change over time and with reminders -- then I would probably start by seeing if there were ways my family could be more separate/independent within the house before looking at moving out.

I think if BIL needed to talk about private things so much that he needed 4 meals out alone w/Mom plus several hours several times in the house -- then that is a LOT of private conversations!

My mom would only buy things she considered 'treats' or too expensive occasionally and when she did, you had better grab your 'share' fast or you didn't get any. That has hurt my eating habits far more than any junk food in the house would have IMO ETA: to stay on topic -- it has also meant that although I did binge a little bit on my favorites, I figured out pretty quick I couldn't keep them in the house because I would scarf them down (still grabbing my share fast -- even though there was no one else to take the other shares)

I feel like this is a big difference between my childhood and my kids -- there are so many books I read just because that was the only thing available. I have read Patricia Briggs new book and Ilona Andrews new book -- definitely a good week 😁

I was told similar for college (and SAT accommodations) -- however my DD got both without redoing the evaluation done before 7th grade SAT: school system used PSAT tests for their yearly school testing starting in high school -- the high school counselor suggested we just submit what we had and see what they said in spring of freshman year (which was not quite 3 years after the testing) then never had to resubmit for SAT College: they requested proof of the 504 from her school and letter from the counselor -- and gave her extended time for tests in a quiet environment with no issue (for all tests, not just on request like the high school had) and a list of additional things she could request as needed. I'm sure this varies from college to college though.

I think part of the issue is not all dyslexics react the same to different programs as well (and of course there is dependency on the teacher's ability as well). My DD's phonological memory score when tested prior to 7th was in the <1% (overall phonological score <5%) -- even after many hours spent doing Orton Gillingham phonemic remediation techniques. IMO as far as programs, improvement in her reading came from switching to doing hours of repetition of reading simple words in lists (Dancing Bears) and then moving to a syllable based program (REWARDS) which had similar high repetition of memorizing by sight (except syllables vs simple words). She had already put in hours of repetition of phonemes in the Orton Gillingham program with little improvement. IMO that means she had to build alternate tracks in her brain to read -- because the phonological track wasn't ever going to cut it. She reads very well now -- but still very slowly which makes it still a barrier for her requiring extra time (and I think she'd still test just as badly in the phonological area). ETA: by hours I mean hours every week for each program over many years

My older DD had a 504 plan for dyslexia starting in middle school - Here is what it said at end of high school: 1. Preferential Seating in classroom environment where most conducive to her learning. 2. Appropriate extended time up to 50% for assignments and assessments (test, quizzes) when advocated for in advance. 3. Alternative testing location provided when advocated for in advance. 4. Use of assisted technology as need and available, such as recorded books. 5. Access to differentiated printed class-notes when deem appropriate. 6. Use of scribe for writing assignments if needed. She used the extended time extensively for both assignments and tests/quizzes. Also used the recorded books and use of scribe -- both of which I had to fight to get included and had to provide myself (i.e. bought audio books or read aloud to her -- and did the scribing when needed although as she matured that turned more into copy editing/proof reading) It did not include spelling, however, as someone above said, spelling was never an issue because EITHER the teacher did not mark off for that OR work was done on the computer which had spell check and grammerly (and mom as proof reader) Regarding some of the other points people have made: I had to get her tested myself 504 states 'dyslexia' for the issue (created ~ 7 years ago) the middle school teachers were focused on grades --in their view, DD did not have a problem because she got good grades the school put her in a 'reading remediation' class in 7th grade in direct response to my requesting the 504 plan--it was focused on understanding issues not reading issues (the difference IMO shows best when a passage is read aloud to the student -- even with low working memory my DD could easily answer questions when the passage was read aloud & same for answers -- she could speak the answer clearly and at grade level when her written answer looked like a 2nd graders )

off the top of my head I would have said 0-299 was computer and library thru religion and self help, and 700's includes painting/crafting and graphic novels (and maybe business at the beginning of the 700's) -- so it's interesting that they think those are challenges for most people Just looked at my library pile -- and I already have multiple books out from both those sections currently 😄 Might have to set myself the challenge I asked you about (one book from each 100's place section )

Kareni, are you trying to read a book from each of the dewey decimal 100's (100's, 200's etc) or did you come up with this challenge some other way?

My favorite was something like that "giant stride" only ours had 2 swings attached to it instead of the hanging on things.

Both my kids kept snack wrappers at some point and got upset when I threw them out as trash (and one of my kids has never had trouble getting rid of things) -- it was a specific type of wrapper for each though and each had a reason they wanted to keep that type of wrapper so, I still let them keep the wrappers (even though in both cases I thought their reason was a poor one). I agree with above suggestion of giving a specific space to keep stuff like that, with reminders that once that container is full, something will need to be taken out to put something new in. For clothes, for my one that struggles, I just do it matter of factly and in front of her. For her other stuff, we do a lot of putting it away for awhile (in quarantine I've heard it called -- doesn't always help though).

Whoops! I missed that after the disable/enable, it suggested to uninstall if that didn't fix it

Did you uninstall the USB driver? (and then reboot, after which normally Windows will reinstall it for you)

Actually I think she was saying that shutting it down with the external drive connected is safer than my advice that you can just pull it out if no files are open. (FWIW I've pulled out many drives instead of ejecting them without any issues-- BUT I have no doubt it is safer to shutdown if you can't afford to lose any of the files [don't have them anywhere else]) ETA: according to CNET, windows 10 removed the need to eject

Have you tried updating your drivers? (that is first thing that I thought of when first read the problem anyway)- https://www.pcmag.com/how-to/what-to-do-when-an-external-hard-drive-wont-show-up

If you never opened any files, it shouldn't matter if you disconnect without ejecting it.

I ❤️Three Men in a Boat -- and only read it originally due to reading To Say Nothing of the Dog which is by far my favorite Willis novel.

#3 sounds a little unfair as it sounds like they did pay for regular co-parenting costs as well (paying for classes, clothes etc) -- however, that just supports #2 even more because the $200/month should never have been expected to be the total cost of the parenting (my DH and I paid similar to his ex AND half to all of other costs- it is just part of having a child, although thankfully his ex was always very fair/logical about how shared things should be split). My brother did this anger thing about his ex for many, many years (and he did not have the excuse of this traumatic situation) -- when he would be ranting or telling me his anger about money things, I'm afraid I mostly did the "pass the dip" thing because he just could not hear any logical statement (not even as simple as "you agreed to this as part of the divorce" 🙄)

I had to go with disposable litter boxes for one cat -- he was SUPER picky about the smell of the box (also the litter but thankfully he liked regular clumping litter -- he just didn't like any of the ones that were supposed to cut down on smell). The ones I used also have low sides for easy entry. (these ones on amazon)

Some things in response: I do sympathize with sibling and I feel like I have told them so (although perhaps they didn't 'hear' my sympathy) -- I get that it is hard, that is why I have given them extra time. I'm just at end of time I can realistically give them without hurting deceased siblings family (who have been extremely sympathatic and patient with the situation). Sibling is not destitute (not well off either -- but can certainly afford to rent a place). Mom said this to all of us multiple times. However, I found her will and it was just like Dad's (with addition of 100% going to Dad first of course) -- and I told sibling this months ago. Additionally Dad had not hidden his will, it was available where sibling could have read it at anytime, could have asked me, etc -- but didn't. I did express my sympathy for this too when it was brought up shortly after Dad died. I don't actually think there is any choice for me that is actually what Mom or Dad would have wanted -- I don't believe they ever meant for me (or deceased sibling) to give up our 1/3 share, nor did they mean for me to put my own money into supporting sibling. I think Mom just thought that we would all survive both of them, and that we could agree to wait on our inheritance so as to keep house for sibling for a few years (and that sibling would eventually move out on their own -- which I seriously doubt at this point). But if that was her plan, then it failed when deceased sibling died last year. I do actually think this is very like the other thread with only the addition of legal responsibility (and sibling relationship vs parent/child)-- because I am only doing the next normal/logical thing while giving plenty of notice (but no actual deadline up until the actual contract when sibling lost it), sibling is hurt and upset by my actions since sibling is disregarding any reason why I would do what I did, even though sibling was aware (and apparently agreed to) the overall plan the whole time. On other thread, OP gave DD plenty of notice, did the next normal/logical thing, and DD is hurt and upset and also disregarding any reasons why it made sense for the actions to take place as they did even though DD was aware of the overall plan the whole time.

Sorry Melissa Louise -- it just rang so true to me for this situation -- sibling does not want to hear any context or reasons why. I will edit it.

Additional info: <deleted>