I'm not big on the idea of sleepover camp, but I am sending my kids off to camp with my parents for 3 weeks, with me joining them for the final week. I try to send them, sometimes together, sometimes individually, at least 3-4 times per year. It gives all of us well-needed breaks from each other. I admit I felt like the OP when my ds was 11/12; very relieved to have him gone, and not that anxious to have him back. Now that he is 13 1/2, he is turning into a young man, much less moody and defiant, whose company I truly enjoy. So, there is hope!

Mine are on my basement walls, which is basically a multi-purpose, playroom/office/guestroom/storage room. For anyone who doesn't already have maps and/or doesn't have anywhere to display them, we also have a shower curtain which is a world map. It is a huge space that needs something hanging there, so why not be something educational :lol:. You wouldn't believe how much geography we have learned by studying the map while using the "facilities" ;).

I would not presume that Ontario's standards would be the same or even similar to Quebec's. Quebec is it's own little world, you know? If she speaks French, the Quebec homeschool support group, AQED, might be able to point her to a source for these guidelines. They can probably be found on the Ministry of Education's website, but likely also in French. I doubt that she will find anything official in English. Her best bet might be to visit the website of her local English school board, just in case they have something there. Otherwise, try to find someone local who has kids just finishing the grades her kids would be going into, and ask to see their work, so she can get an idea of what material they covered. There are also practice/review workbooks that can be purchased at bookstores which are aligned to Quebec's standards (albeit in French), which would show her what would likely have been covered in that particular grade. I would also check with local homeschoolers who have had contact with the same school board her kids would be under, to see what issues, if any, they may have had taking their kids out of school. That way she would know exactly what she might potentially be facing down the road. HTH,

I am sure she is aware of this, but I just have to send her a little warning of caution about sending her kids to PS next year. Since she doesn't know what the grade-level requirements are, I am assuming she has been "under the radar", meaning not under contract with a school board. Once they have been registered in school, they will become known within the system, and it will be very difficult, if not impossible, to return to homeschooling if she so chooses in the future. Homeschooling is technically legal, but the provincial authorities are making it more and more difficult every year. They basically want people to do "school at home", following their curriculum. If parents choose to use an alternate curriculum, the school board can require the children to be tested multiple times during the year, at their own discretion, and if the board is not satisfied with the results, the parent loses their homeschooling contract and the child must return to school. If a parent refuses to sign the school board's contract, the board usually calls child protective services, the outcome of which depends on the worker to whom one is assigned. There are currently a few families whose cases are going to court in order to set a precedent for how CPS are supposed to handle these cases. I have a friend who put her kids into school after homeschooling. Now, 5 years later, some of her kids have learning differences that are not being addressed to her satisfaction in school, and she would love to pull them back out. However, she is positive that her contract would be revoked when her kids would (inevitably) not test at grade level, since they are already behind in school! So, she is stuck afterschooling and teaching her kids all summer to make up for the gaps left from school. Oh yes, and if neither she nor her husband studied the majority of their elementary level education in English, in Canada, her kids will be forced to attend French school, no exceptions. Another issue to consider. I just wanted to make sure your friend was aware of the situation and not make the decision to send them to PS lightly.

IMO, it is a sad, vicious cycle. True, "health education" in school is likely not going to introduce the idea of "intimate activity" into the kids' heads. Unfortunately, it has already been planted there by popular culture. However, it can add an air of acceptability/viability to it that could provide some kids with enough information and encouragement to take the leap, if not balanced with strong evidence to discourage the behavior. I fully understand that it is irresponsible not to ensure that young people have the information necessary to save their lives, stop the spread of disease, and prevent unwanted pregnancies. However, since the public school district has no right to "moralize" or push a particular moral philosophy on its students, the kids can come away with the wrong impression that, now that they have the appropriate info., they may as well use it. The common refrain of, "We aren't encouraging this activity, but if kids are going to do it, we want them to be informed" is equivalent to drug education consisting of "Drugs are bad, but if you're going to use them, this is how to do so safely, and there are free needles in the nurse's office". Yes, lesser of the evils I suppose, but why not strongly discourage the behavior in the first place, have lengthy discussions of the negative effects and consequences, etc.? Why are schools allowed to teach "Say no to drugs" but not "Say no to ..."? Ideally, parents would be the ones to have all of these discussions with their kids. In reality, many don't, and in the interest of society, someone has to. However, by providing neutral "health" information and access to "supplies", without spending at least an equal amount of time, if not more, frankly discussing the numerous negative effects of this behavior, schools are only perpetuating the problem. Society bears the brunt of the bad choices of it's citizens and should have a strong agenda of "healthy choice" education. At the moment, it appears everyone has thrown up their hands, thrown in the towel, and decided putting bandaids on the problem is better than nothing. It's a sad, sad situation.

I don't have any solutions for you, but BTDT. I am, at least, starting to notice what types of things set me off. It usually involves me feeling disrespected, dismissed, ignored, or helpless. A great deal of the time, I misinterpret the intention behind the action/comment that makes me feel that way, but I don't realize that until I have already reacted in a negative manner. Strangely, this only happens with my immediate family. Nothing strangers or acquaintances do ever sets me off to the same extent. Maybe because I expect respect and consideration from my family that strangers don't necessarily "owe" me. My mom was the exact opposite, never sharing her feelings with my father or showing him that she was upset, so as to not "rock the boat". This disgusted me, so I share *every* feeling and everyone in the house knows when I am upset! My best hope for a solution (although I find it very hard to implement in the heat of the moment) is a weekend workshop I took on "non-violent communication". It involves calmly and respectfully sharing how the other person's comments or actions make you feel, while mirroring what you think they are trying to express so they feel heard and are therefore more open to hearing you. That's my best advice, but the vitamins could help too ;).

It may seem "reasonable" to them in light of their liability concerns. However, as a parent, I would hold them more liable for not notifying me of this policy. If all the parents are aware that their children will not be treated, even with a bandaid! if they are not present, and that their cell number may not be easy to locate, then they have covered their bases, although absurd. If not, I think they should be more worried about being sued over *not* treating an injured child, by parents who have no idea bandaids require parental consent!

Well, I'm not really the "itching for babies" type. I loved my own, and think other people's are cute, but I'm not one of those people who melts when they see a baby and wants one as soon as theirs becomes a toddler. My favorite age is actually 3-5. Babies are exhausting, and I have been smuggly content that mine are old enough to behave, be self-sufficient and stay home alone. I was blessed with one of each, and saw no reason not to be "done". All that said, it has recently hit me how quickly my kids have grown, and how soon they will be gone and my child-rearing days will be over. I have started to imagine them as adults, and only having one sibling. I never intended to have more kids, but always knew I could if I wanted to, at the drop of a hat. Weight gain, white hairs and reduced energy have brought it to my attention that, very soon, that option will close, and we may well regret not having taken fuller advantage of my reproductive years. So, in November, our family will have a new, "second-round" addition! It has taken some time to sink in, and am just now getting used to the idea that our lifestyle and 20-year plan will totally change. But, dc are thrilled, and I am looking forward to doing this over again, with many years of parenting experience and mellowing behind me (not to mention built-in babysitters)! No not really an itch, but more like a biological clock ticking ;).

Well, a few months ago, I would have said 26. However, we have been blessed with a "second round" surprise! So, as of November, I will have to start saying 37! I never intended to have kids at this age, but it is "better late than never", and we were starting to realize "never" would be hitting us in the face soon enough. I know plenty of people who had their 1st kids at my age, so it isn't really that old, LOL! Since I have built-in babysitters this time around, I am hoping to enjoy this baby more in my calmer, wiser state ;).

Yup, felt it. But honestly, we have a train track that runs directly behind our house and the train had gone through about 15 before, which shook the house much more, LOL! We are so used to the daily shaking from the train, that it took me a while to notice the house was shaking, without the noise from the train. I had to check out the window several times to make sure there really was no train before I realized it must have been an earthquake. So, not particularly earth-shattering around here :lol:.

In dh's culture, it is traditional for all family members (meaning ALL, extended, etc.) to offer name suggestions, then the parents decide. It sets up a nice, heart-warming situation for the person whose name is chosen (to say "I named my niece", etc.) and for the child as well ("My grandma named me".) My BIL came up with ds's name, dh and I agreed on dd's name on our own, and my ds had the honor (at the age of 9) of having his name suggestion chosen for his youngest cousin. So yes, dc, all relatives and friends are encouraged to offer their name suggestions, and dh and I have the final say. However, I doubt that we would choose something that our own kids or parents hated.

Dh and I were married at 18 and 21, and lived with my parents for the first 3 years of our marriage while we finished college. I have never regretted any of those choices, never felt I wished I had spent time totally on my own. Dh and I were both young enough, that we were both starting out on our own, but together. It's not like I was dependent on him, moving into his already-established place, etc. Looking back, I am so grateful that I was in a stable relationship during my "bloom of youth", likely avoiding a lot of problems and heartache. I would prefer both of my dc attend a college close enough to home that they could commute, or at least stay with family closeby, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. As for after college, hmm. Hadn't thought that much about it. I guess I would hope both of my kids would be married by 24 at the latest. It would be great if they could be at home in those interim years, but I wouldn't be totally opposed to them living with roommates who share the same values/morals.

:iagree:with the PPs about setting boundaries. I find it interesting that the young man is dead-set against moving in with his parents, but has no trouble accepting help from you. Help him, in a tactful but clear way, to realize that he is not living independently if he has simply transferred his dependence on his parents to you and your dh. Maybe he is blind to this fact, or maybe he wants to "seem", either to his parents or the outside world or all of the above, that he is independent, and living with his parents wouldn't serve this purpose. In this economy, there are plenty of families who have had to share housing to make ends meet. Dh and I lived with my parents for the 1st 3 years of our marriage while we finished college. Based on their behavior, it sounds like they could benefit from having full-time mentors to guide them into adulthood--and it should be their parents, not you ;). I think it is noble of you to help and encourage this young couple. They should be commended and supported for choosing to marry at their age rather than bar-hopping, serial-dating and shacking up. Obviously, they are not ready to live on their own away from a mature support system, and as long as you continue to inconvenience yourselves to help them, they will never realize this fact and accept the inevitable.

Mortifying! I am fortunate not to have anyone in my family who would dream of saying such a thing, and I do my best to keep such people out of my home. Wow. Knowing myself, I probably would have laughed nervously and changed the subject. I am a bit nonconfrontational and would have wanted that awkward moment over as quickly as possible. Ds might not have even heard/realized what she said, and I doubt my ds13 has ever heard of Playboy, so the joke would have been lost on him. If this was a person who would be spending time with my family on a recurring basis, I would find a tactful way, in private, to let her know that you realize she was trying to be funny, but that this type of humor is not appreciated in your house, or something similar. It is quite difficult to know what to do in the heat of the moment, though.

I am not familiar with Apples & Pears, but All About Spelling would probably be a good program to work through before Megawords. Megawords assumes the child has learned the spelling rules for single-syllable words, and Megawords teaches them to apply those rules to larger, multi-syllable words. My dd and I are just finishing the Wilson Reading System, which is an OG-based program for reading and spelling. We are going into Megawords next year. If she had not needed the reading remediation as well, I would have done AAS before Megawords. If Apples & Pears is OG-based, that may well work also. HTH,

I have moved 4 times in the past 6 years, once to another state, and twice to a new country. My kids have had their issues with motivation, attitude etc. as well. IMO, homeschooling has been a vital form of continuity, familiarity and routine that is very reassuring for all of us when trying to get acclimated to new surroundings. No matter where we are, we spend our days together, doing the same routine we did before we moved. True, the kids have to make new friends, find new activities, etc., but at least they don't have to get used to a new school system, new teachers and being immersed in a whole new culture for the majority of their waking hours. I agree with the PPs who advised you to look into homeschool groups, activities,co-ops, etc. before you move, if possible. You could even look for housing near areas that have a large homeschool community. If he likes working on the computer, and you feel he needs some outside accountability, I would say go for K12, at least for a semester, while you are unpacking and getting settled. That will reduce the stress on you from the move and give him a chance to see if that type of program is suited to him. If, after you have been in your new location for a year, you still feel he needs to go to school for various reasons, you could consider it then. I would not add such a drastic change to the already drastic change of a move, though.

Unfortunately, there are no samples online, which is why I wrote a fairly detailed description. I prefer to avoid Christian content myself, and I honestly did not see any. The only place it really could have been would be within the test questions, perhaps on the essays, but again, I didn't notice anything. Most of Hewitt's products are fairly neutral, and those that aren't are usually marked with a cross in their catalog. HTH,

I will be using Hakim for 8th grade next year with Hewitt's Junior High Syllabus and Tests for History of US http://www.hewitthomeschooling.com/book/bsingle.asp?i=2852 It is only $10 and written for homeschoolers. I wrote a detailed description in a previous post, which I will paste below: It has 80 pages, loose-leaf. It gives a brief overview of the course, suggestions for how to organize their study, and an overview of assignments. This is followed by a list of the chapters to be read each week, and guidelines for the 2 research papers. A list of 35 possible projects is given, which can be applied to any chapter or book, such as making a model of an invention, writing an editorial as if you were living in the period being studied, drawing political cartoons, designing a game based on a historical event, etc. I love this, because it gives the student so many assignment options to choose from, which appeal to a variety of learning styles. There are 3 pages on "Steps for Writing a Research Paper". followed by a 4 page checklist, with the reading assignment for each week pre-printed, and a place for the student to fill in the date, project chosen, and to check off when completed. The remaining 60 pages are the tests and test answers. Every book has one 3-4 page test, consisting of multiple choice, matching and short answer questions. Every test has an "extra credit" essay question at the end, which are quite thought-provoking. It is a good (and cheap) place to start :). HTH,

I might be a fuddy-duddy, but regarding my own kids, smoking of any sort would be considered a "big problem"! Using any type of mind-altering substance, including alcohol, would be a "major problem". I realize that some people put drugs in different categories depending on how "bad" they are (whatever that means). As far as I'm concerned, anything that is a chemical substance, alters consciousness, and will likely affect their health in a permanent fashion, is unacceptable.

This is a great question! I am an only child, so was my mom, so was my grandfather. 2 kids (esp. one boy, one girl) always seemed like the ideal, perfect family (not that I personally ever wanted siblings myself :001_huh:). I tend to think of 2-3 kids as normal, which was the case with all of my friends growing up. There were a few "legendary" families in our community who had a brood of 6+, but they were usually "unique, quirky" types, either hippies or of a particular religious persuasion, but I didn't know any personally. As a young adult, I always had a hard time grasping why people who already had one of each would add a "third wheel". I could see trying one more time for the gender you didn't have, but... Being an only child, I had a hard time deciding to have my 2nd, fearing that it would send ds the message that he somehow wasn't enough for us, and I had to reconcile the idea of him having to share his parents with someone else. For me, my relationship with my parents was sacred and unique, and I couldn't imagine someone else being equal to me in their eyes. Of course, now I see the benefits of having the companionship of a sibling and am so glad I had more than one! It is so interesting to see how everyone's background and social circles affect their view of family size! So, I guess, 2-3 is average, 4-5 is large but still within the realm of normal, 6+ is huge (and assumed to be the result of a particular philosophy or belief system). How interesting that this designation also corresponds with the vehicle limitations: 2-3 sedan/wagon (average) 4-5 mini-van (large but still normal) 6+ industrial-size van (huge and uncommon) :lol::lol:.

hwan deh pad-éh-ha - yes, a "D" is a better approximation for Spanish "R" than American "R". It's not great, but a heck of a lot closer than American "R". This is what I would have told you as well, to get the most exact approximation. My Spanish professor was from Columbia, for what that is worth ;).

I voted "yes". My parents and in-laws are on different continents and have a major language barrier. Despite this situation (or maybe because of it ;)), they get along extremely well when they do spend time together. They have probably seen each other a dozen times over the years during IL's visits, and all parties seem to enjoy themselves immensely. Mom and MIL like to shop and go out to lunch, etc. (with me along to translate), and laugh hysterically when each tries to use the 2-3 words she knows in the other's language! We have had large family meals together, with my mom hosting Thanksgiving for us all one year when ILs were here. I have BILs and SILs who do live near my parents and, while they are not close friends, they help each other out and offer kindness the way extended family ideally should (moving furniture, minor repairs, house sitting, etc.) At different transitional periods in our married life, dh and I have lived with one set of parents or the other for an extended period, and both greatly appreciate the hospitality and generosity shown to their respective child by that child's ILs. They are reasonably close in age and, despite their widely differing cultural backgrounds, they have a great deal in common re: their childhoods, life path, education, and ethical principals. I am very blessed to have such wonderful parents and in-laws who thoroughly respect each other, are honored to be part of each other's family, and strongly believe that marriage is the joining of two families, not two individuals.

I believe the crux of the problem is two-fold. Teens should be treated as any other members of society, with the same privileges and respect due. We would not tolerate assuming that people are up to no good and restricting their right to assembly based on race (yes, even if the majority of "trouble makers" in an area are of a certain race), so why is ageism acceptable? At the same time, teens should be expected to behave as responsible citizens in order to use public and private facilities. The society at large should be sending a message that disrespectful/inappropriate behavior will not be tolerated, from anyone. It seems that most people are so afraid of these gangs of youth, that they feel they cannot approach them or speak to them or otherwise deal with bad behavior. This leaves them with two options: surrender to location to the gang, or forbid all teens from access. Neither is acceptable. I grew up in a suburban/rural area, where there was nowhere to walk to, not even friends' houses, a store or a park. If friends wanted to get together, this involved at least one parent who was willing to pick them up and either bring the friends home or drive us somewhere. That isn't to say we were never without adult supervision, but always in someone's home, on their property, or at the mall or movies, with parents on premises or picking us up at a set time. Therefore, teens invading public space was never an issue for us growing up. However, I also know that, if we were in public, we never would have dreamed of behaving inappropriately. That was reserved for behind the high school! Now there's a place I would never let my kids hang out ;).

That was very thoughtful of her. I also do not ever mention that I am interested in something that another library patron is looking at (during library book sales). These are typically quite competitive situations, with everyone trying to grab up the best items first. While most people are polite, there can be a certain amount of tension below the surface, and people tend to become quite possessive of their "finds". In this situation, I wouldn't have said anything, but continued to look through the books, keeping my eye on the woman, so I could grab the copy as soon as she set it down ;). Of course, I cannot imagine anyone "sitting down with friends" at a booksale (afterall, this is serious business, and I might miss out on a great deal while chatting!). I tend to work intently and methodically through every row and pile. However, I have been known to overhear another shopper say (or tell her child) that she is looking for, say, Magic Treehouse books, which I'm not, so I hand her the ones I find :).

Sorry that this is OT, but this comment really threw me for a loop. My mom has been on dialysis for 18 years, the last 13 of those in the clinic, 3x/week, 4 hours at a time. She is only 56. I cannot imagine dialysis being considered an "extreme measure", much less allowing a patient to make a conscious decision to stop, without some serious psychological intervention. Yes it's a pain, yes it interferes with your schedule, yes it is often uncomfortable, but choosing not to do it is suicide, literally. I would strongly encourage your dh to look into creating some sort of intervention program, including counseling, as well as mentoring with long-term dialysis patients, so they can see what a long and fulfilling life they can live despite their disability. Off my soapbox now...