I think it's unfair to your oldest to be shown something, and told it's something he can ask for, and then to be told no because of younger sibling behavior. I think it's fine for younger siblings to see older siblings get things and know they'll need to wait, even if that means you have to live with some drama. I'd sit the 9 year old down and explain that she can ask for this for Christmas when she's 10 or 11 or whatever, and get the reaction over with before Christmas.

I hope you get some answers!

Aaah, I have heard of towns scheduling it. We don't do that here. But I always assumed they were moving it so it to Saturday. So, moving it away from Saturday confused me.

Isn't Halloween next weekend? I am confused by this post. I'm sorry you had a hard day, I agree that it feels like everything has to suck, I'm just also confused.

Oh no, I am so sorry.

For younger kids I’ve worked with, one thing that I have done is to really separate the pieces of drawing. So there is a piece of drawing that is about having an idea, holding an image of it in your mind and breaking that image apart. I do a lot of work on that with having kids tell me what to draw, and doing craft projects where kids select and combine things to make an image. There is a piece of drawing that is about fine motor. You can build fine motor in many ways that don’t involve making representational art. You can build up the stability you need for fine motor on the playground or by using a big paintbrush and water to paint the house. You can build the fine motor skills with eye droppers or turkey blasters in the bathtub, or by using scissors to cut up a banana for smoothies. There is a piece that’s about using your eyes and body together. You can do that by kicking a soccer ball or picking shiny coins out of a bean tray or eating a meal of tiny foods like Cheerios and blueberries. While these things are developing, I’d do lots of free art with no pressure to be representational until you see some consistent patterns that the kid can control and reproduce. So if your kid is beginning to show lots of longer smooth lines, then get dot markers and butcher paper and make maps for hotwheels cars to drive on. If they’re rolling playdough in their hands and smushing it then introduce a game of making cookies.

See I feel like 10 (my youngest) is the perfect age, young enough to get into it, old enough not to need mom right there, and to stay up pretty late. I was prepared to let him go, but he told me today he doesn’t want to. He thinks it’s too risky. So we’ll figure something else out.

Thanks, We don't have that much school going, I haven't even sorted out what we'll be teaching for anything but math, but what we're doing we'll keep doing next week. I was thinking more wondering how to handle the actual day. I think @LinRTX's suggestion of sticking with traditions makes sense, although covid makes that complicated.

You start by inviting me over, because I love all those things. For dinner, I just cut it up and put the meat on a plate, like I would a roast chicken I made myself. I usually serve it cold with baby carrots and bread and butter, because if I'm in the mood to not cook, then I am not cooking. Your way sounds more civilized.

I have heard and used the word for someone a migrant hires to take them across the border undocumented. I have not heard it used for a slave trader. ETA: I'd rather not say where I live, other than it's in the US and no where near the border.

Some of the Mr. Nussbaum math games, and the math games on Education.com do a good job of having a game component but getting pretty directly to skills. But you have to look up a game for the specific skill and assign it. You can easily spend 15 minutes finding and playing a game to see if it's what you want, that then engages your kid for 15 minutes.

I've taught kids with this as a possible diagnosis, and done some reading.

So, if an Italian brat is flavored like an Italian sausage, I would suggest cooking it with Granny Smith apples. Very yummy combo.

I thought this was going to be about poorly behaved Italian children. I would have had advice then. Aren’t the edible kind of brats German by definition?

Quoting myself in case people read from the bottom.

Thank you for sharing Marcia with us. She sounds really wonderful. I am glad you have those memories, and I am sorry for your loss.

Sorry I was trying to edit, and instead quoted myself.

We welcome prayers. Thank you!

That is wonderful news. This does sound like really age appropriate behavior, perhaps intensified by his history.

And why is Christmas only once a year? Bad design. Maybe my kid should make some Christmas cookies for Jesus’ 2/3 birthday next week.

I have two thoughts, coming from two different places. One is coming from parenting my bio kids, who did plenty of whining at that age. One thing that I learned was to grant their wishes with fantasy. So, when they whined that it wasn't Christmas yet, I'd say "I agree. It would be great if Christmas were tomorrow! What would you ask Santa for. I'd ask him for bubble bath! I love bubble bath. Do you want me to show you where we'll hang your stocking?" And the mood would shift, because it went from the kid feeling all alone in an unfair world, to being a team with me. The other comes from parenting a child with a history of trauma and neglect, and that is that he may be missing the skills to get his needs met another way. My bio kids knew how to say "I need a hug" or "Mom, can we snuggle for a while?" Or "Can you read me a story?" My adopted child, when he came to me, didn't know how to ask for these things. The world had taught him that it wasn't safe to ask, or that asking didn't work, and so when he needed these things he asked in less desirable ways. We worked really hard on reteaching the skills that were lost, because he just didn't know. So, we spent time explicitly teaching how to ask. For a younger child, I'd probably role play with stuffies or dolls or something too.

My kids are grieving really differently from each other and at first that was an issue. So we’ve had lots to talk about. Their therapist has also been a good resource.

My youngest is expressing the desire for things to be "normal", and I do think that routine is what we need. I feel like we got to a place this spring where homeschool was something of a normal rhythm for us, and not just this weird thing we did to avoid germs, but the fall was really chaotic, and we kind of lost that rhythm. So, it feels more like we're starting from scratch, then getting back to normal. But I do think that starting homeschooling, gently, makes sense. Right now, we're doing some things but not everything, and spending lots of time exercising. For my kids, I think that exercise will be key to getting through this. I will check out the resources you suggest. Yes, I think one on one time is what we need, and we are working on that too.

There's a strip of foam over the nose, and a strip along the chin, and I assume that the air passes through there? If it's FDA approved, they must have done some testing. I have the EZ-adjuster style, and you can adjust it so it's against the cheeks. The one thing is that there's no kid sized, and it's not adjustable. It's adjustable for the size of the head (e.g. the length of the strings), but not for the distance between the nose strip and the chin strip. It doesn't bunch up like a cloth mask. So, a therapist could wear it, but a child wouldn't be able to. I think my high schoolers will be OK with it.

I bought these for teaching phonics. They are latex free. https://www.theclearmask.com/product I bought a box, and tried one of them out for a few days while teaching virtually. (Yes, I'm that teacher). They didn't fog, and were comfortable and easy to breathe in, and seemed to fit well, so that's what my team will be using (I'm on leave till January, and virtual all year). They just started some in person small groups, and I've been on leave, so I don't know how it went. We also got some that were cloth with a clear panel. I didn't try them, but the people who tried them didn't like them. They fogged badly, and didn't fit well.