Butt ugly doesn't bother me, and I can get those. Would you consider them safe around active kids?

I agree that meals are a great time. But there was also a time here, when we were getting used to having 3, and jealousy was a constant companion, when we would have used a chart for who sat where, and who chose the story etc . . .

Thanks, I got the info I needed and I am going to delete some of my posts to protect our confidentiality.

We might also get a fire pit, but for this, I want something that's fast and easy and portable. Like the kids are playing outside after watching, Ggpa's watching but he's getting a little cold, so we wheel something over and turn it on? An hour later he goes inside, and we turn it off and move it out of the way so the kids can play four square in the same spot. Does such a thing exist? The fire pits look heavy. Getting it out of the garage, dealing with wood, lighting it, supervising it, waiting for it to cool enough to put it away. That seems like using it would be an event.

A lot of the people at our church just use "in Christ" on things that I'd consider tangential to religion, such as emails about who brings the cookies to the children's choir practice.

Someone suggested a patio heater as a way to extend our outside time with family and friends. We live where the weather sometimes goes below freezing, but where we don't get a ton of snow. We have an elderly family member, and a younger kid whose asthma can be triggered by cold, so looking for ways to allow them to visit with family outside as it gets colder. We don't have any kind of porch, so it would need to be all the way outside. We've got active kids, and while the youngest is 6 and so old enough to not stick fingers in it or something, I'd want something where a flying soccer ball wasn't a disaster. We have an elderly family member who loves to sit outside and watch the children play, and keeping him warm and allowing someone from outside our bubble to sit with him would be one of the goals, that and outdoor meals. Ideally, I'd like it to be something we could put away in the garage when we weren't using it, because the space we'd put it gets used for other things, like sidewalk chalk, and roller skating.

I think the point is that it's less socially acceptable to be thankful you didn't CONTINUE a pregnancy with someone you weren't in a long term relationship with.

Aren't they on wheels? Like I could put it in the garage in a storm?

Swimming indoors or out? I'm sorry the C/S has been so rough. Send me some baby pictures!

Does anyone have the fancy type? Pop loves to sit outside and watch the kids play, so having something to keep him warm would be fantastic, and to let my BIL sit with him. But I am having visions of a flying soccer ball knocking something over, or a game of tag getting out of control. I don't think we can do the mounted ones, unless we built something with to mount it on. If we put it where it would logically go on the house, it would warm the wheelchair ramp, not the patio, I think.

We decided today that for the most part they're staying on the properties. They'll go to church, and we haven't done things like check ups and dentist visits so we'll do that, and we'll still let them play at the one neighbor's house, but we've got a big enough yard for soccer or spike ball, a driveway for street or roller hockey, a basketball hoop and a good climbing tree. Really what they need is people, not location. So, we'll let them have friends over here where we can supervise for a while.

That's a good idea. We have a switch, and no concerns about video games, but I don't think we have any exercise games. That might make a good gift. Any suggestions on which one? I think we're doing OK for exercise for him. He takes an online tae kwon do class, as part of homeschool, and we're going to restart that tomorrow (our thought is to build back up to homeschool a subject at a time, and this seemed like the one to start with), and between playing with the neighbors and things like soccer and basketball with the cousins and bike rides with his uncles, he's moving for 3 - 4 hours a day.

I don't think it's mean. At this point, I think they need the structure of being told what to do. The two of them are grieving really differently, which makes sense since one is a little kid, but it's making it hard for them to connect at all, and so I think they need help. I think a memory garden is a great idea. We just aren't there yet. Please don't quote this.

I think what my youngest needs right now is a break from the focus on his brother. In time, I think that would be lovely, but right now, I think he kind of needs to lose himself in an activity that has nothing to do with loss.

Do they need a jack or a ramp to change the oil? I am thinking the jack is not for us now.

See, this is what I'm afraid of. In other times, I wouldn't have this fear, but now I do. I don't think we have ramps.

Thank you! I don't think we have a place where we could do mounted. Are the standing one safe for kids?

Praying for him

Maybe we start there? That sounds like a good idea.

I think this thread probably doesn't make sense without the context of this thread: In ordinary times, I would not have any hesitation about DH doing this with my kids. But none of us are particularly functional right now, and my anxiety about bad things happening to my 10 year olds is high.

To be clear, my DH knows how to change the oil, and a tire. And eventually it would be something he'd teach DS. My goal this week wouldn't be for them to learn. I mean if they do that's fine, but he's 6 years away from driving alone, so there will be time to reteach it. I just need the two of them to do something together, and I need to structure it, and I need it to be something where kid can be engaged and adult kind of on autopilot. And I'm wondering if this is a safe choice given that need.

Do you have to go under the car to do those things? I'm not sure I trust them to do it "properly".

DH and my 10 year old could use some fun jobs to do together. Usually, I'd suggest woodworking, which is a good outlet for them, but grief is making DH sluggish and distracted, and DS hyper and impulsive, and adding powertools to that mix seems like a bad idea. I've never worked on a car in my life. If I asked DH to teach DS to change the oil or a tire or something, would that be reasonably safe? Other ideas?

We sat almost all of the adults down and made some decisions. It was kind of overwhelming, but I think it will be helpful for the kids to know what to expect, and for me not to feel like I'm making lots of one off decisions.

Praying for you guys.