I picked other. I believe in the power of child directed play. I think that most kids, given a rich environment will make the choices that grow the skills they need. But I’ve been both a teacher and a parent of kids who didn’t seek out the kind of experiences they needed to grow necessary skills, either due to life experience such as poverty and neglect, or because of disability. For those kids I think there are a lot of techniques that can be used they both grow kids skills and encourage them to continue to develop their skills through self selected activity. We can provoke play by providing toys and materials and props. We can encourage play by inviting kids to join us in an activity we think they will enjoy. We can help kids focus on the play by simplifying their environment or adding visuals to support choice making. We can scaffold play. I know my son, who came to us at almost 9 needed all of those experiences to get to the point where he could play. I also think that “learning through play” requires us to trust the sequencing and uneven pacing of children’s learning. Sometimes that’s hard due to an adult’s emotional needs. Other times it’s hard because there is a genuine need for a skill that a child hasn’t yet sought out. Other times it’s because a child finds something hard and so avoids it. So then there is a need for more direct instruction, where the adult tells them to do something. In that case I think that either embedding the instruction in a child’s natural play (e.g: noticing a child who needs to learn concepts of print and encouraging to pretend to write down orders when playing restaurant) or making up or modifying a game to intentionally teach a skill (e.g. I teach a lot of place value through modified monopoly) can be a powerful tool. It can provide kids with motivation to work on something, or context to make sense of something. But I agree it’s playing, not play.

We love that book, but we already read it. Otherwise it would be a great fit. I was just thinking that the Bunnicula series is something my kids loved that would be perfect, but I think my oldest listened to it on audiobook like 100 times.

Thank you!

I think maybe a sports related read aloud would work? Something their brother wouldn’t like. Maybe some humor? Any suggestions on like a 10 year old’s level without any trauma or dead people or “my sibling is so annoying” themes?

Thank you, I am sorry you have been in the same situation. Busy is definitely what my kids need, and extended family is stepping up, because DH and I are finding it hard to initiate or stay in the moment with them. We we talked today and decided that we would each pick one subject that felt easiest. We already restarted online TaeKwonDo, so tomorrow we are going to try Beast Academy online (youngest) and bass guitar (oldest) and I will pick a book to read aloud.

Since I can’t do the thank you button, I thought I’d say thank you here. I am so sorry you’ve been through the same thing. It really sucks. Your suggestions are helpful although covid complicated things. We spent a few days at my SIL’s and that was definitely a little easier. We might go back tonight.

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Thanks, I just looked up your thread and it is very helpful.

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Why couldn't they get a bunch of pink magic markers and wash them?

You'll be glad to know that the golfers all came back in one piece. Other than some separation anxiety, they seemed to have had fun. They played some version where they were on teams, and the two people on each team took turns hitting the ball. This seems like a smart adaptation for beginners.

My 2e kid really liked Miquon as a preschooler.

Yeah, my BIL has one of those at home practice simulators that will have to do

Excellent choice

My niece is 20 and an excellent player so they’ll be 1:1, at least. I think the plan is that they will spend some time in the backyard going over the basics tonight. But yeah, he’s a brave man.

Better them than me.

Thanks, we're going to let them do it, if the weather behaves. Apparently the plan is that just the boys will golf, and my BiL and niece will coach. So, they'll have 2 bags, walk the course, should be fun. It will be their first time in a public place that isn't church or the pediatrician, since March, so hopefully they will have fun. To be clear, I'm not really expressing an opinion on mini golf. I just threw that in there as an example of my lack of knowledge.

Do they need a cart at all? Could they just walk? For my boys the more exercise the better.

To be clear I don’t usually care if people are drinking on the course. That wasn’t isn’t about alcohol it’s about taking off masks to drink it.

I guess every place I’ve played the groups are pretty much on top of each other, and people are drinking on the course, which is outside my comfort level. Plus we really only go at the beach, and we aren’t at the beach now.

Yeah, my brother in law knows my kids have never played, so he can't possibly be assuming they own kid sized golf clubs. He is an intelligent man. I will ask him tomorrow.

Their cousin is about the same size as my older kid. She might have clubs from when she was younger for my younger kid?

Can you share golf clubs? Like could my kids use their cousins and just pass them back and forth? I feel like every time I see golfers on TV everyone has their own.

My Brother in Law is an avid golfer. He has asked my permission to take my two boys golfing with his daughter. I think they'd enjoy it, but I really know nothing about golf. The only kind the kids or I have played is putt putt. Putt Putt does not seem safe during covid. Would it be safe? What questions do I ask to determine if it would be safe? What restrictions do I place, other than the obvious (e.g. come home for lunch). We are staying in his house, and consider them part of our bubble, so I'm not worried about transmission within the group.