For dd3.5: A doll with snaps, buttons, zippers, etc; a zoo version of Candyland; some more animal figures for her collection; new socks and underwear. For new baby: legwarmers....and to just get here safely! (5 days until C-section). Usually I get Loverboy a robot (to assemble and play with dd3.5), but I haven't found anything inspiring this year. Maybe I will get him a remote control car. Any suggestions?

You have sooooooooo much sympathy from me right now. BTDT. At 11 days, I called Loverboy at work and told him that I was going to pee on a stick that night because I was so miserable. He could participate or not. Yep, pregnant and nauseous. At 12 weeks, we met the obstetrician. He assured me that the nausea should subside at 16 weeks. I wasn't sure I would make it. Now we are 5 DAYS from a planned C-section, and I've nearly yarped 3 times so far today. I've thrown up antacids, ginger, gum, etc in this pregnancy. Heartburn, leg pains when laying down, hip pain too painful to walk at times, back pain, exhaustion/insomnia, gestational diabetes/insulin, and memory loss. I told Loverboy we needed to remember to pick up dog food the next day. We don't have a dog. :lol::lol::lol: I had to cook dinner twice because I forgot to turn on the oven the first time. :banghead: Through it all, I hate to complain too much: I'm basically healthy; the baby is healthy. There is no bleeding or spotting or bedrest or emergency trips to the hospital. But I'm miserable. Many hugs to OP and the others who are pregnant today. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

This is a thread hijack!!!! For those who love legos and love those who love legos: A friend of mine posted this on her cheapout blog recently. A lot of stuff she posts is local, but this one is national. Lego Magazine: http://cheapout.blogspot.com/search?q=lego+magazine

I went to my first one last summer, and I am looking forward to attending next summer again. I attended NICHE in Des Moines. Some details: 1) I was probably the only atheist in the whole convention center. One vender even asked me if I was worried about being struck by lightning. Seriously??? But I knew of the religious tone of the convention when I signed up, and I was as respectful as I could be when I attended. I chose to be there on their terms, in their environment. In spite of this, I still found adequate secular curriculum; even for science. 2) The curriculum hall was impressive. Go early rather than late! 3) I was extremely impressed at how well organized this convention was. Lots of people had worked really hard to pull this off! 4) I met many very nice people. One feature the convention offered was comfy couches manned by "experienced" homeschoolers to talk to if one had questions about homeschooling. 5) Several of the workshops were secular. Some weren't, but there was a nice mix. 6) Several workshops were very serious about sharing their experiences of early morning devotions of Mom and Dad; then to wake the kids at 6am. (I told Loverboy he had to start getting up at 4am for devotions; then I would join him at 5am.... :lol::lol::lol:) It helped to keep this in perspective when hearing one of the keynote speakers who was wonderfully funny and would talk about her kids getting dressed sometime between breakfast and when they leave for the post office at 3pm. :lol::lol::lol: (This, among other things that are considered "stereotypical homeschooling" that her family doesn't reflect). It reassured me that our family can find the system that works best for us. Keynote speaker: http://www.opengifts.org/index.htm 7) I carried a helium balloon attached to my purse so a couple WTM friends could find me. One did; one didn't. FINAL ADVICE: Go if you can, but keep things in perspective.

Divorce is one of the leading reasons for bankruptcy in this country. If your spouse chooses to divorce you (even if you want to work on the relationship), you are very likely to end up in divorce court AND bankruptcy court. The result is that your credit is shot, and you are judged for having been so irresponsible. I feel bad for people in this situation. Sometimes there are no good answers. I wish for healing for the people discussed in this thread. May we never have to go through a situation of loneliness, abandon, or worse, as this.

Thanks for sharing!!!

I've had good experience with PartyLite candles. http://www.partylite.com/en-us/products/candles/category.aspx More important than candle brand: --I would also be careful of drafts in your house. Any sort of wind will make candles more likely to drip/overflow. For example, you will need to turn off all of the ceiling fans in the house. --Put your tapers in the freezer before burning. Crazy, huh? --For candles other than tapers, watch burning time and be careful that the wick is centered. Trim wicks. For example, if the diameter of the candle is 3inches, don't let the candle burn longer than 3 hours. Failing all that, can you put a plate or layer of paper/wax paper/other liner under the candle holders that will be covered by a pretty flower wreath?

When is the next time that she goes to the doctor for a well-child checkup? One of the moms I nannied for started to make comments and reduce food for her youngest daughter. She wasn't the skinniest kid on the planet, but she most certainly wasn't overweight in any way either. She was just "average, strong, healthy." I know the mom had a history of an eating disorder in college (decades before). The daughter was already super active, in several sports, and made healthy choices for snacks (carrots, yogurt, fruit, string cheese, etc). The daughter was only 6 or 7 years old. One day, the mom had me run the kids into the doctor for a cold/virus/minor illness that was present. The two kids were weighed, etc. When the doctor came in, I asked the doctor if he thought the youngest was overweight or unhealthy in that way. "No"....and the doctor seemed a little confused why I had asked. This confirmed to me (and the daughter) that her body type was just fine. I wish you wisdom to find what works for your daughter at this time.

Is it possible that they just threw the leftovers into the fridge for the sake of speed (if it was food leftover from a Thanksgiving meal) so they could socialize with guests right away? I've done this, then straighten everything out later. (I'm the queen of tupperware!!)

All I know is that when food looks fancy, it just means that someone else's fingers have been all over my food. Ewwww!

I love my Nutrimill. I bought it from Paula's Bread: http://www.paulasbread.com/mills/nutrimill.html Love it Love it Love it! When I was looking for mills, friends said they had borrowed a mill from friends. Because of the design of the borrowed mill, flour went everywhere! Then they found the Nutrimill. I asked what kind they had gotten, but they couldn't remember, even though they use it every week or so. (They didn't know that I was looking into a Nutrimill at the same time). The friend brought it up from the basement, and it was a Nutrimill!

:bigear:

I have not used any of these kits. (My kids are too young). But maybe someday...... From Toys to Grow On: http://www.toystogrowon.com/sku866 or http://www.toystogrowon.com/sku371 From ThinkGeek: http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/giftsforhim/81e6/

If one is planning hives in town (or with near neighbors), I would recommend a little fence around the hives with a locked gate. A childhood friend's dad had a setup like that. The fence was tall enough that one couldn't jump over it easily, and it was solid; not picket. As my mom says: all it takes is one little boy with a stick......[to make the bees mad]. (This is not to imply that your kids would do such a thing or be unattended, but I'm sure we all know kids that don't think things through. Is there one in your neighborhood?)

Some people just don't know about Snopes. Some are lazy. Some are not able to think critically. The scary part is who falls into these categories. Loverboy learned of Snopes from me. His dad keeps forwarding him crazy stuff, and no matter how many times Loverboy responds with Snopes, his dad continues to send out stuff blindly without using any critical thought or checking Snopes (or another secondary source like Factcheck). The scary part is that his dad is an educated person. He has a PhD in physics, and he worked with nuclear weapons for decades for the U.S. government. He's not dumb; he's just too lazy or unable to question things of a certain slant. One of many reasons we are homeschooling: to teach critical thinking, to teach about bias from a source, to teach about confirming with more than one source.

Divide it among these 3 categories: 1) Split it between the two kids' college funds. (I always worked 2-3 jobs simultaneously while going to college, and I never finished. I don't want my daughters to have to go through what I did. There are tears involved.) 2) Put a down payment on a house. 3) Drop it into a retirement fund. Or, if we want to be superfluous, buy a Prius or a minivan instead of the very sensible Corolla we will order next month.

Disclaimer: I have not read all of the responses, so I apologize if someone else has already brought this up. Yes, pop music has racy lyrics, but I wonder how much of this is standard human nature because we are.....human. Nursery Rhymes and Fairy Tales have some pretty questionable origins, too!

Motivation: I bought my kids (both dd and her friend C3 that I babysat) each a bank. They did not get money for sitting, although I did remind them (or require them if too much time had passed) to sit periodically. C3 needed to sit every hour, and even that wasn't enough sometimes. Dd was a camel. Each child received 25c to put in their bank whenever they pooped or peed. It was worth 25c to me to not have to change as many diapers. We looked at catalogs, and they each picked out nice toys on which to spend their money when they hit $10 or more. I was also lucky because both were ready to potty train at the same time. Each wanted to be the one to put a quarter in their bank. -------------------- We also did what we called "naked C3 days" or "naked dd days" when the kids wore no underwear (just as you are doing). Don't be discouraged by the number of accidents today. The first several days with C3, I thought we weren't going to make it! (Many, many accidents on the carpet!) For some kids, they need to see the pee coming out of them and landing on the floor to say, "....Oh......THAT'S how that works!!!" If this period lasts more than a week (or more than you can stand), then do diapers for another month or two, and try again. Very few children leave for Kindergarten not potty-trained. :grouphug:

Be prepared to not be believed by CPS. BTDT. A friend of mine and her adult daughter had each, in turn, been molested by the friend's uncle at a certain age. Now the "alleged molester" had a granddaughter and grandson that were going to be dumped at his house for the summer. (Their mom, who now lived out of state, had a new bf). The friend wouldn't call because, "You don't call on family," ....and her family had given her a lot of flack and didn't believe her when it happened to her or her daughter. I called CPS with the information I had, and I was not believed. CPS refused to take my information, let alone investigate. This experience made me wary of calling CPS at all. Even when I babysat for a boy who was in a situation of neglect and bad choices from his mom: a broken leg, falling out of a window, repeated bite marks from her friend's son again and again and again. I thought I wouldn't be believed again. Be better than me for the sake of the children. Have a Plan B. --Consider calling Animal Control/Humane Society if CPS doesn't listen to you. Ask if the situation is referred to CPS if feces if found to be of an unacceptable level in the home (as your daughter had reported). --Consider local law enforcement...but if it's a small town (like the situation I called), everyone may know everyone, and no one will believe you. --Consider using a state hotline rather than the local county one. Again, if this is a "smalltown...everyone knows everyone"...you may need a report from a STATE agency to rattle the cage. --I hate to suggest this, but if no changes are made, and your daughter is sent against her will to visit this house again, send her with a small, pocket-sized camera to document the filth of the house. This will eliminate the "but this is coming from a 13yo" argument. Give her a tool to make her voice be heard IF she wants to. Either there will be several pictures of poop in the corners within a 1-hour time range (documented by the camera), or there will not be. Warn her to give the explanation that she is taking pictures of her cousins. (A hundred pics of cousins throughout the house...and a few of the feces within a select time period). Then re-telephone CPS IF you deem it necessary. Yes, I know this will not be a popular suggestion to put a 13yo in this situation, but it should be preferable to sending her to a house IF the feces is as she says it is...and give her no voice. Hopefully CPS will do their job.

We're expecting a girl (day after Thanksgiving), and after this, I am so done having kids! (I'm 40!) Here are our boy names: Callahan Eamon Warren Edison Keeson Hey, they all end in "n"! I also like Tate and Caleb, but Loverboy's two best friends have sons by those names. Congrats!

You are 31. Do you have any friends age 26 or below? Do you have any friends age 36 or above? As a pp mentioned, the age gap is less important as your kids grow; and there is no guarantee what kind of a relationship your kids will or will not have as kids or adults. I am not close to either of my siblings (3 years older and younger). I was concerned about the 4 year gap between DD3.5 and her expected sibling, until a friend assured me that I had nothing to worry about (according to her mom). Now I see only the advantages! With a bigger gap, the older child is more independent. She can walk herself to the door from the car (rather than being carried or needing to hold my hand to get up the steps). She is potty trained 100%; she is nearly independent at going/wiping/flushing by herself. She can undress herself. She can express likes/dislikes/choices. The older one has her own world. She goes to preschool, rides her bike, has swim or gymnastics lessons, and has friends with whom to play. We anticipate less sibling rivalry because the new baby will not "compete" in any of these arenas with her, real or imagined. Because of the independence of the older child, you can give more one-on-one time to the little one. This could be something as simple as nursing the younger one and not having to jump up because the older one is writing on the wall. (Your 2yo might do that; your 6yo should know better). Finally, the kids do not get a vote. You and your husband get to choose the family size and spacing for your family; NOT the kids. They will get to pick when they have their own families. If we had listened to dd3.5, then we would not have gotten pregnant with our second. (Now dd3.5 is happily bragging that she will be a big sister!)

sending you a PM and hugs

IME, the people who don't tip are the ones who have never worked in service. For example, my dad is one of the worst tippers ever. He will not tip for buffets...even though I counted the server coming to our table of five 14 times between drink orders, refilling drinks, removing empty plates, and bringing the final bill. My mom and I hide money under the plates before we go (while dad is paying the bill) to make sure the server gets something! For traditional restaurants, he tips, but not great. I think he is stuck in 1965. My sister and I both worked as waitstaff for many years. We tip well, but we also have high standards of what our dining experience will be. I am not afraid to tip poorly if the tip was not earned. For example, when we could see our food ready and getting cold while our hungry family sat waiting; the waitress did task after task for others because she did not understand that, "When the food is ready, you bring it out within 30 seconds!" I went to the kitchen window and served our family that night. :cursing: She also did not offer dessert (not that we would have chosen dessert, but it is part of good service). She was tipped, but not 15%. I DO tip for this because I have worked in many restaurants that I have not been tipped for this service. When one is in a restaurant, one is essentially "renting" the server. The restaurant provides the servers as a courtesy for your convenience. When you order food, you are paying a part of their wages. Consider this: When I take an order via phone, AND get your name and phone number, AND explain menu choices to you over the phone because you do not have a plastic menu in front of you, AND review your order before hanging up because you will not be accessible readily once I am done on the phone....I am ignoring my other tables. When I take your order to the kitchen and explain the details of it to the kitchen staff and that it will be take-out.....I am ignoring my other tables. When I get your food ready (in a styrofoam box and bag)....I am ignoring my other tables. When I prepare the extras for your meal: dressing in a little disposable cup, drinks with lids, counting straws, extra ketchups....I am ignoring my other tables. When you arrive, and I PROMPTLY (at your convenience, not after my other tables have been taken care of), arrange for your payment and bring your food out to you, confirming that your order is correct as you ordered it....I am ignoring my other tables. (The goal is to get you in and out with hot food...even if everyone sitting at a table has to wait for their hot food). Whenever I ignore my other tables for YOUR sake, I am working my butt off, and putting my own income (tips from the other tables) in jeopardy. And now you are not willing to hand me a couple of bucks in thanks. I agree that you should not need to tip 15+% for carryout, but if you can afford to eat out, you can afford to tip a few bucks. I don't mean to disparage or embarrass you, but I hope that those reading this who do NOT tip for takeout will consider what it is like for the server. RANT OVER.

:bigear:

Ask her, "How can I be a good friend to you at this time?" Hugs to everyone involved.