Not unless Sid is getting a sibling too. You should keep it fair! 😁

First of all, your adult child is an adult. She literally does not have to do what her father says, though that of course means she does need to move out. It is disappointing that she failed classes, but not the end of the world, and many students do poorly in online who would do well in person. Online does not work for many learners. I would encourage her to get EMT training, one semester for basic and a great basis for becoming a future nurse, and then have her work and save money to move out or find her a place with friends where she can just rent a room and get out sooner. Independence will probably work wonders for her. When she is 24, she will be independent in terms of FAFSA, and will qualify for more financial aid. Then she can apply to university. Four years of working as an EMT will help her mature, and she will learn a lot that will help her in nursing school. There isn't anything wrong with going to school later. On top of that, she can go in as a freshman. She can't transfer the failed classes anyway, and after four years, doesn't even need to provide a transcript of them to the university since she will apply as a freshman. It will be a clean start. I urge both of you to get into counseling. It isn't "his money". It is marital property and just because your job as a wife and mother doesn't come with a paycheck, that doesn't make you lesser than him. You have as much right to a say in the household spending as he does. He is committing financial abuse to you, and frankly, I suspect that if you saw a professional therapist, you would recognize emotional abuse as well. Let your daughter go to Europe for the summer as a volunteer. It will be good for her to exercise some independence. Tell your husband to stick it where the sun doesn't shine. She is 20. Not even a teen anymore. Seriously, he does NOT get to micromanage her life. That isn't even legal much less moral. I am very sorry for the circumstances in which you find yourself. Very tough! I am also very sorry that the admin of the christian group responded in a way that is actually quite unchristian. Done listen to that person. You are not a bad parent. Your daughter just needs some different experiences and to be out from under her controlling father in order to develop her own skill set, think for herself, figure out what she wants to do, set goals, and then work towards achieving them.

I would demolish the schoolhouse. It probably isn't salvageable. Get the property if that is your dream. Then you could, while you save money to build, throw up a cabin from a kit (there are some nice ones out there), and hook up to the existing septic and electric in order to finish out a bathroom and kitchen in the cabin. Treat for termites first and go with a pole barn style cabin as the steel outer shell will deter termites. There are a lot of fairly effective treatments for termites. We have a company come annually at the Alabama house and inspect and treat. It is working well. No termites in a region that had a real problem with them. I am not a fan of mobile and double wide and prefab homes. They do not retain any value in our area, and delivery and set up has become so high, that it is rarely much less trouble and expense than just building a simple home from scratch. but, a kit cabin is not near the expense, and later on it can become a farm out building or garage for the home you build.

There are a couple of well maintained, but empty, business buildings just down the street from our local school campus. The city manager lets the school use them for free whenever they need spill over space.

I don't see any reason she shouldn't use Duggar. Duggar is what people know. They do not know the name Dillard. It doesn't mean much to them and especially because not long after they married, they left the show. For marketing purposes, it makes no sense to use Dillard. It doesn't ring memory bells for the people to whom they are marketing. It is awkward to hyphenate. For what it is worth, my daughter did not change her name, my daughter in law is not changing her name, and if I had it to do all over again, I would not bother with changing my last name. I wonder if Jill kept the docuseries and boom under wraps last summer when Frederick was born. She had high risk pregnancies, and the stress of a raging father would not be good. I could easily see her not telling them at that time.

Well, between this and the docuseries, I think we can safely say Jill has cut the apron strings. I do feel sad for her. This has to be so damn hard. She was a sister mom to so many kids. If you watched the show, you could see that JimBob ans Michelle were just supremely lazy parents, and made those older girls run the house, cook the meals, take care of all the younger kids. The episode of them leaving for vacation on a bus, and making Jessa, Jana, and Jill pack for the entire family which was, if memory serves, 18 or 19 people at the time, drag heavy luggage out to the bus and load, get all the younger kids out of bed and dressed, plan the meals, pack the food, while the "parents" did nothing was a real eye opener, amonf many others like Jackson lost at the airport and endinf up comforted by his sister mom NOT his parents, Jackson falling into the orchestra pit, being seriously injured, and Michelle laughing and filming it while his sistermom was beside herself worrying about his injuries, Josie having a major seizure beinf tended to by Jana with the production crew calling the ambulance, and JimBob and Michelle calling it a "glitch" and refusing to come home feom their shopping trip, and on and on. If they were willing to be that absent as parents when the cameras were rolling, and not even ashamed of it, how much worse was it when the camera crew was not around? Joy Anna and several others are really Jill's children because birthing a human doesn't actually make you a parent, just an incubator. She will probably lose her relationship with Joy Anna because her husband, Austin Forsyth is still a member of IBLP as are his parents and most of his siblings. She will likely not be allowed communication with the kids still at home. I celebrate for her, the fact that she is brave enough to blow the whistle on the abuse, neglect, the evil that is IBLP, and the complicity of her parents in all this. Someone needs to do it. But the personal cost will be high. Nothing will change at the Duggar household.

This is a legal matter and if you lie could blow your career out of the water. Tell the truth, and if necessary, engine looking for a new job because being a whistleblower tends to leave a person marked. If you can find a position elsewhere before it all comes to a head, it would probably be better for you.

No words..I have no words anymore. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I am all ears! The past few years so went from being a person who was nearly always cold, to one that is nearly always very uncomfortably hot. Last week, our daily temps were in the 50's. Today it is 92. I seem to have no coping mechanism for this. As I type, I am sitting on the couch in a beach cover up that is practically see through, nothing else. I look like an Egyptian hieroglyph of Isis or something. It isn't the best attire for running to town or taking a walk!

I want to warn everyone that an Amazon tv critic on reddit has said that if you are easily triggered by abuse and cult tactics, it might be good to NOT watch the docuseries. I just wanted to throw that out there because I would hate for anyone here to have a bad experience. I am watching it in order to summarize for my sis. I am also doing it with my dear husband and a long island iced tea, one episode at a time. Breaks as needed. Thank goodness for streaming. It makes it so much easier to manage how and when to engage with difficult content.

Sunday went well. Just us, we didn't go anywhere and after obliterating coffee beans, we ate some granola. Lunch was salads. Supper was a chicken thigh each on the grill, and sheet pan of a variety of roasted vegetables. Today, Monday, not is great. We woke up late, had a bunch of things to do with our boat which had been winterized. We ended up not eating anything, and then going to his mom's for lunch. Oh.boy. she did not cook anything we should be eating! It was four kinds of chips, hot dogs, brats, baked beans so laden with every kind of sugar additive she could think of that I had a hard time gagging down the one and only spoonful I ate. I and half a brat on a piece of GF bread, and two chunks of watermelon which was the healthiest thing on the table. I hate watermelon too, so not happy. Tonight I made some black bean dip and ate it with salsa and red pepper sticks. Tomorrow is going to be awful. I have medical appointments for my mom and wedding shopping. Ugh. I think I will insist on Panera Bread and get the Mediterranean bowl. Quinoa and arugula base, hummus, Greek yogurt. At least I won't have such a brick in my stomach while I run around.

Absolutely. When I start getting items completed, I will post. And the happy couple has given me permission to post photos of the event for a short period of time next week.

Thank you Bill! I feel like as I hash it out here, my creative juices are amping up, and a picture is forming. I appreciate the support and all the advice! I know of two drainage ditches in the area that are farmer dug, so not owned by the county or township. I am going to do a drive by and see what I can forage on Saturday morning, if allowed, before we have to leave for Kzoo and spend the weekend pulling this all together. The key is that many, many wild things do not last long once cut. I am going to look for pussy willows that may have dried well in the sun this weekend. I saw some pampas grass both light tan, ivory, and dark beige in a ditch right outside of town today, drying beautifully in the sun naturally. It isn't a protected grass or at least I do not think it is protected. I can't be sure. I am going to call the township supervisor tomorrow and failing him, the DNR office. However, the answer is nearly always NO from the DNR. I do have dried elements I can buy if I can't forage them. I have two gorgeous birch logs that Mark drilled out three holes in each for battery operated taper candles. I am going to cover them with leftover dried elements from making the floral arrangements and put them at the base of the arbor. Now my head is turning towards the wheelchair decoration, what to make, how to affix it, making sure it is in no way impairing mama's comfort. Has anyone done this or seen such an arrangement for a wedding? Definitely, now the initial panic of what can I make in one week, what can I get my hands on, is over, I am getting pretty jazzed to tackle the project. LOL, Mark pulled out his portable sound equipment and microphone, found an inverter, and went outside with his portable Boze speakers, hooked up his 7 channel board, and the speakers to a car battery, and blared Piano Guys across the neighborhood. Sound solved. Electrical Engineer son 3, will be in charge of sound. They didn't even think they would be able to have music since there isn't any electricity out there. So T, the groom, actually cried when we told him to come up with an MP3 playlist and download to a USB. Poor T is still figuring out just how nerdville our family is and how much crazy stuff Mr. Technology had purchased used and hoarded in the attic. 😂😂😂

I am going to call the master gardeners and see where I can forage since we can't do that on state land anymore. But, I do think I have a pretty good plan in place now for dried elements combined with fresh baby's breath. I hope to forage some greens and nice twigs, like willow and birch, that I can use for an arrangement on the arbor. There is a very rustic, no frills Arbor made of wood from within the nature preserve. It is kind of cool. If I could put some thistle, wheat grass, twigs, silk hydrangea, lamb's ears, etc. on it with zip ties that I can quick cut off after the event, it will be really pretty. I have seen some images of the spot and that arbor and other people have added arrangements for their events. The spot is about 40 ft from grass parking, so that isn't bad. I am going to take my garden wagon for hauling items. It really some be elaborate. The natural beauty there is wonderful. But I am also going to make some fuzzy muscles to hang on the few chairs that will be there for his parents, and I want to make something pretty to hang off the back of her mama's wheelchair. Here is one of the elements I have on the way. It is the exact color of blue she likes. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08FBCJJ8M/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 That will be a splash of color with all the natural and greenery plus ivory hydrangea here and there and the white baby's breath. I wanted fresh pussy willows. That was a no go. All of the nurseries are open today, and so have been calling, no one has them, and at the low, wet spots on my mom's back acreage, they are 100% all done. If I had known, I could have cut them two or three weeks ago and hanged them to dry. Oh well. Dried from the store will have to do.

You Fiji, Rings trip could be a romantic failure kind of movie! 😁

My daughter made beeswax candles once and put peppermint oil in them once. We burned them at Christmas and it was very nice.

Gorgeous! Love it!

Our worst was easily our honeymoon. We had planned our wedding day a year in advance, then one of Mark's groomsmen announced with two months notice, that he was engaged and they decided to get married fairly quickly, the week after us in Maryland and would Mark be best man. Sigh. Mark had no spine back then for saying NO to such a good friend, so we ended up changing our plans from driving to Massachusetts for whale watching and a couple of other things to Fredericksburg, Maryland. We did not have much time to figure out what to do while there since this was prior to the internet so you actually had to do book, pamphlet, phone call research. Blech. The first day was okay. We went to the Aquarium in Baltimore, and it was nice. But then the air conditioning conked out in the car. Being in the Chesapeake Bay Swamp for your honeymoon with no air conditioning in the car and 90 + degrees every day was NOT fun. We drove to D.C., the next day not knowing about the train system and the superiority of NOT having to find parking for your car, so we could spend the day at the Smithsonians rarely in each other's presence while we took turns hiking more than a mile away back to the car to feed the meter. We took a picnic lunch down by the Washington Monument only to have to fight off a purse snatcher. By the time we were done with the Smithsonians and the miles of walking to feed the meter, we were really tired and not all that amused. But, we had family expecting us to bring back photos of the Lincoln Memorial. Neither one us was in the mood to find somewhere to park, so Mark dropped me off, I hiked up to the thing to take photos all the while muttering under my breath about how much I hated DC and threatening all manner of wedding sabotage for his friend (but it was all venting, I had no intention of ruining their day), while Mark was supposed to be "driving around the block" several times to pick me up at the curb. It took forever. And of course Mark didn't know where he was going, got lost, siphoned off by traffic onto the Beltway, and all he could think to do was keep driving back towards the Washington Monument. He eventually made it back to his very annoyed bride. The next day we decided to drive out to the coast and eat crab on the beach. We had heard we really needed to eat Chesapeake Blue crab. Could not find a single place on the beach selling it even though a friend from college raved that there would be all these crab shacks around selling it. We ended up eating at a Burger King. Since we like ferries, we thought, "Let's take the ferry to Delaware", and ha ha ha ha, that turned out to be way more expensive than we thought it would be so we didn't do it. Having been entirely let down by the day, we drove around, found a county ferry that was $2, hardly more than a log raft traversing a bit of swamp/river, and took it twice over and immediately back which great perplexed the operator, and commenting, " We are on our honeymoon", did not make him any less confused. We spent the next two days just hanging out at the hotel swimming and soaking in the jacuzzi. That was the best part of the trip. The day of friend's wedding, another couple from college showed up and said, "Let's get crab." They found a hole in the wall shop that they assumed was an actual cafe, ordered a dozen medium Chesapeake Blue Crab (what on earth they were thinking), and when handed a paper sack of cooked crabs, asked "Where on earth are the tables?" LOL, after he explained the confusion, the owner produced a table and chairs normally reserved for employees, and some utensils. Neither Mark or Steve had ever had anything more than crab legs so when it looked like they might sample some of the green stuff, an employ informed them to not do that. Steve's wife, not a seafood lover, got queasy from the smell of the place and all the crab body parts and innards accumulating on the table as our boys determined since they paid for all that crab, by golly it was going to get eaten! Then, to our horror, after leaving the establishment and walking around the strip mall area, we discovered that the stench of blue crab really doesn't come off easily. The guys reeked, and both were in the wedding later that evening. They tried all manner of soaps at the hotel, in public bathrooms, you name it. Nope. Still smelled. It died down some by the ceremony, but was still very evident. They tried to cover it by slathering themselves with scented hand and body lotion after showering twice. But still, the wedding couple have to this day on their wedding video, the groom sniffing, sniffing, sniffing, and while she was walking down the aisle his disgusted look and comment, "What's that blasted stench?" picked up for all eternity by the pastor's lapel microphone. We left after the reception to drive home, went half way, got a motel and the only thing we could afford at that point was a flea bag kind of place. That was the honeymoon in all its glory. The best part of it was our first night. We didn't go far, stayed at a very nice hotel, and had French dips delivered to the room. It was all downhill from there! I will regale you with the best vacation in a different post because this one is so long.

Yup. So when people say to me "The Amish are peaceful, gentle people", I just laugh. Uhh no they are not. They are abusers, prolific abusers. Blanket training came from them. Slapping and pinching babies came from them. Beating children into submission, a tale as old as tike, is common among them as is covering up s&x abuse and incest. They are no better than the rest of the abusing people in the world, just somehow cute in their costumes driving buggies which apparently has snowed a lot of people into thinking they are an okay cult. Cults are bad. All of them. Cults are inherently abusive; it is how they maintain their order. Same old same old.

I am going to call our extension office when it opens tomorrow morning and asks the master gardener if any of his 4H gardening buddies might have flowers and greens to share. Some of the issue at hand is that this is very early in our part of Michigan for most varieties. We had a cool, very cool spring so the situation is that the lilacs and pussy willows are spent, as well as none traditional cut flowers like hyacinth, daffodils, etc. But the irises are late coming on as are a lot of May varieties and the June ones are going to be late as well. We are going to get some heat this week so a few things may be popping, however, not a lot. This spring really messed up the usual flow of blooms for the area. Still, someone might have something. She really does not like daisies. So to make things easier for me, I am just making simple baby's breath bout on nodded and only need three. For her mama, I have a real touch ivory artificial hydrangea. I am going to cut it apart, and use a small piece, plus and artificial lamb's ear leaf (I have a couple of gorgeous stems, you cannot tell by looking at it that it is not real, in my stash), and baby's breath tied wrapped with floral tape and wrapped again with pretty ribbon. I can make all four of these items in half an hour. I will make a posy, miniature bouquet for her bridesmaid from whatever is leftover from making the bridal bouquet, and since dusty, smoky blue is one of her favorite colors, I have some ripped chiffon in that color play us ivory, and light grey, and will twist both bouquets up with the three color, and let a good length of each color ribbon hang down, allow the ends of the stems to peek out at the bottom. I am very thankful that I had not sold off the last of my event planning supplies because it is quite useful this week to have floral tape, wire, ribbon and fabrics, some leftover flowers and such at hand. But, once I get them made, they need to refrigerate, and that is where my unknown comes from for the live elements vs. faux. So I have decided to go buy some baby's breath tomorrow and take leftover silks I am not going to use, make a quick bouquet, wrap the stems, place them in a plastic bag, and tuck it in the fridge for several hours to see what happens. If I end up with stained chiffon from the stems of the baby's breath and any other random fresh greens I find weeping beyond the floral tape, or condensation on the silks, then I am going to need a plan B. If the only issue is potential stem juice, I do have some leftover thin, rip stop nylon fabric from mailing kites with a middle school engineering class. It is waterproof. So I could first wrap the stems with that after the floral tape, and then do the chiffon ribbon. The chiffon ribbon is not shiny, very casual looking, ripped to fray on each aide with the fraud trimmed evenly, no long stringers. It is really very whimsical, not formal at all. I am going to take a drive today to two farms where I know the owners to see what they might have growing that they would consider letting me raid. That is a great suggestion from the hive. We will see what it turns up. Also, the small group of people attending this wedding are all going out to dinner afterward. Nothing expensive, and everyone has agreed to pay their own way because bride and groom really have no money to blow on this. I am taking mason jars, placing the gem stones I have in the bottom, and putting baby's breath in those for simple centerpieces for the tables. Mark thinks he may have some submersible LED candles to place in the bottoms. But I thought he gave those away at the last big event I did when I said, "This is it. I am NOT doing anymore wedding planning." F.a.m.o.u.s. l.a.s.t. w.o.r.d.s. 😂😂😂

Both of our honorary daughters are getting married this summer, one very soon. I am in the midst of designing florals for one, and prepping music for the other. It makes me happy.

Thanks! All of you have encouraged me to become a botanical stalker! If y'all see some weird headlines, "Strange woman raids farmer's drainage ditch for spring greenery", you will know its me and have a weird story to tell at parties. 😂😂😂

I am so sorry!!! That stinks.

Thank you! This young woman befriended our middle son during their first semester, freshman year of college. They have been buds ever since, and have seen each other through some tough times. Her own mum had a severe stroke, and cannot do a lot of mum things for her. She never knew her dad. Her mum's extended family rejected her because race. So she has never known strong family connections, just her and her mom going it on their own. We sort of adopted her, and it has just grown from there. She considers Mark to be her dad now, and I am her second mom. I try very hard to respect her mum, and include her in things as her health allows so she can have as much joy with her daughter as possible. It is hard. She is barely ambulatory, and can only tolerate about two hours of any kind of busyness every couple of days. Our youngest son and the groom's cousin are going to take charge of getting mum to the event, and then back home as soon as she needs to leave. We have a CNA on deck to be at the house with her for a couple of hours to make sure she is okay, and gets off to bed without any issues. I love this girl so much, and I love her soon to be hubby. He is so precious! Our other honorary daughter, lived with us off and on through high school while her parents went through some marital and health stuff, is getting married in August. Our eldest boy commited (spiritual ceremony but no marriage license because it is better for them financially and for insurance benefits to not be legally married) this past year, and oh my goodness do we love G! She is da bomb! So I have four birth kids, two daughters by mutual choice, and one daughter by blessing, and soon to be three sons by law. They all feel like my kids, as if I had raised them even when I didn't. This is why our retirement house is so darn big. Family holidays are getting rather large. We need many beds, baths, and a big kitchen!

Not that I know of, but I am going to check Facebook and call the Master Gardener at the extension office.