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I don't know if any of the tricky people in my life have diagnosable NPD. My MIL has a mental health issue that is diagnosed and treated. She does the best that she can, and while she makes me nuts sometimes, she's not malicious. She's just exhausting and unreliable. And sometimes melodramatic. As for the other difficult people in my life, there's only one that I can say absolutely has some sort of personality disorder. It's way above my pay grade to say which one it is. Maybe Histrionic Personality Disorder? Maybe NPD? I'm not sure. I do know that dad's 3rd wife, (my 2nd stepmother), has left a trail of relatives that refuse to talk to her now or did in the past. Both of her kids stopped talking to her for a year or two. She has siblings that won't talk to her. Her former in-laws won't talk to her. Now my family won't talk to her, (except for one baffling sibling who is "trying to be the bigger person" for reasons I don't understand. Hello, sibling! Dad's divorcing the nightmare! You don't have to talk to this woman!). My 1st stepmother was an insecure, self-absorbed bully, with a manipulative streak. She'd lie and scream and cry if it suited her purposes. She didn't think it was wrong to do any of that if she got her way, because she was right and everyone else was wrong until they agreed with her. She had a chronic, life-threatening illness and admitted to me that she often used her illness to get her kids (my half-siblings) to do what she wanted, under the guise of "I may not be here that much longer, and it would mean so much to me if you came for Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years/Your Cousin's Wedding/Whatever". I found that utterly horrifying. Of course, she did such a great job of trashing my image to my father and half-siblings, they'd never believe me if I told them what she said. It's probably why she admitted it to me. Who'd believe me anyway? She painted me as a manipulative liar for years. I remember being at her funeral service, and they asked for people to speak up about her. Her closest relatives and allies kept talking about how she was so patient and kind and never complained about being ill, despite how much it wore on her. I looked around and thought "Am I at the right funeral?! What are they talking about?! She told me she liked the attention from being sick because it meant she could get people to do anything she wanted! She was anything *but* kind to me, unless there was an audience!" I still can't figure out what my mother's mental health issue is. Again, it's above my pay grade. She once told me that she was diagnosed as bipolar when she was in high school. But she also told me that her father forbade her from getting any sort of therapy, so I don't know how she'd get a diagnosis in the first place. She also refuses to see a doctor now. But everyone in her family lies and cries and screams about each other and how they've all been done wrong. You can't believe what any of them say. The truth is probably in there somewhere, if you combine all the stories, but I can't make sense of it. I've stopped trying. My dad has terrible taste in women. ?

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Very true! Reading similar stories from other people helps put things in perspective. I learned, and healed, so much from reading what others wrote.

Vent as much as you need, @LMD . If you were local to me, I'd take you out for coffee and we could have our own Bad Daughters Club meeting. ?

I am embarrassed to admit that it took me until my 40s to figure it all out. I always knew something was seriously off, but figured the something was me . It wasn't until my father's wife threatened me and my kid and dad defended his horrible wife did I finally realize "No, this isn't me. None of this is me." And like you say, the Golden Child won't understand at all. My half-sister is the golden child, and while she was at first understanding of my anger, it soon morphed into "You're being too hard on Dad. You blew things way out of proportion. Why can't you just be there for Dad? Just be the bigger person." Yeah...no.

Mid-40s, this is my life in a nutshell. I am often shocked at the depths of anger and hurt I feel toward my NPD parents. @LMDAnd ditto to not understanding all of this when you were so young. Please forgive yourself for not seeing through the FOG then. You were so young and you didn't have enough experience. That's not your fault. My NPD parents insisted I bore equal responsibility as them in "making our relationship work", which meant 11 year old me was reading relationship self-help books, trying to figure out why I was always messing things up and hurting my parents. They never suggested family therapy or individual therapy. Of course not. "We have a problem and the problem is you and we're not going to help fix anything. You're on your own. Don't screw up. Of course, you screwed up. Well, I don't know what you expect us to do...". *Deep sigh* @LMD , your sister's wedding is going to be a $hitshow for you, no matter what. It's ok to stay home if that seems best for you. You can even decide that at the last minute, even though sister has paid the caterer. You don't owe your sister a pound of flesh for your mother to chew on.

I had a co-worker like this. You could ask him for the time and he'd start out with a history of clock-making. Everyone thought long and hard before asking any question of Herman.

I would get a copy while you can. I admin a facebook group, and I think there is a time limit for undeleting a post, (maybe 30 days? I don't remember). You don't have to act on the information after you receive it. It may be better to have the info and not use it than to need the info and not be able to get it.

I almost always brain fart on easy math questions. Or any easy question, really. I over think them, expecting there is some sort of trick behind the simple question, and panic. A book I bought had an error, stating Ben Franklin was president of the United States. I thought "That's not true...wait a minute...is it true? How do I not know this?!", and had a moment of panic that I've been wrong about this fact for the last 35 years.

I would never do this. It would completely destroy the trust my kid has in me. And if they are messing around with drugs, the threat of a positive test with mom isn't much of a threat. It will just make them double down on their efforts to hide the drug use. It will cause a bad situation to escalate.

I don't think you are being petty. There is a similar dynamic in my family. I could rant for days and days and days about some of their antics, but it only serves to raise my blood pressure.

? I cannot imagine riding out a storm like Florence if you live in a coastal area. I, too, would be reflecting on the relationship I had with BIL and SIL, because of the lying AND because they lack good judgment.

I don't mind the mindless chit-chat in line most of the time. The times I mind are when I am in a hurry and the mindless chit-chatter isn't taking the hint that no, I do not want to talk about why they chose their blue earrings vs their white earrings today. I need to GO, Mildred. I'm also not keen on cashiers commenting on the items I am buying. This happens a LOT at my local grocery store. "Oh, is this good?" they say, as they scrutinize the granola bars I'm buying. The smart mouth in me wants to say "No, they're garbage. Everyone in my house hates them".

Are his parents still alive? What is your relationship with them like? The reason I bring it up is that you plan to move. Would they try to sue for Grandparents Rights?

This has happened to us, too. The entire theater was empty except for me and kiddo. Mom and her 3 kiddos came in and sat right next to us. The only thing I can think of is that she thought it would be "safer" to put the kids next to another mom, rather than "risk" a strange man coming in and sitting next to the kids.

I would get the gecko to an exotics vet. They will be able to accurately diagnose what the issue is and tell you if it is fixable. If it's a problem beyond your abilities to fix, they will know of a rescue that could take the gecko. If you live in the Chicago area, I know of an excellent exotics vet, (the practice is called Chicago Exotics. I do not work for them, but have worked with several of the vets that are employed there, and they are all excellent).

Oooh, I remember my stepmother had this book. I think it was decided that I was an autumn, although I look terrible in yellow.

@Night ElfIf your son is interested in jobs that do not require much contact with the general public, he might consider being an overnight stocker at a big box store. Another job I had that was nights/solo work was in the grocery store bakery. Very minimal contact with the public or other coworkers. The job isn't super hard, but you have to keep moving at a quick pace to get everything baked and shelved by the end of the overnight shift. Sorry, I just saw that he wasn't interested in overnight jobs anymore. I will leave it up as an option, in case he changes his mind.

Being a vet tech sometimes is very fast paced. I worked in general practice and emergency. Both had slow periods and both had incredibly busy periods. You need to be good at prioritizing, time management, and multitasking. You also need to be comfortable talking with the general public, both face to face and on the phone. It is often the vet tech that is calling owners to give updates on lab work, surgery, hospitalization, and answer client questions regarding their pet's health. Complicated, case-specific questions go to the vet, but general health care questions are fielded by the techs, as well as taking a history of the pet's problem in the exam room, ("So, Mrs. Smith, Fluffy is here to see Dr. Jones because she may have an ear infection? What kind of symptoms are you seeing that concern you..."). Sometimes the clients are emotional, and you have to know how to handle that. There's actually a great deal of interfacing with the public. The sick animals are the easiest part of the job, in my opinion.

We put our 18 year old cat down about 2 months ago. It was hard -very, very hard, but I'd let things go on too long out of guilt. I miss her very much, but it wasn't fair to her to keep her going. It was a hard choice, but the right one to make. One thing that has helped *me* is that I have a video recording of her purring while I petted her. If I'd been more organized, I would have made a clay paw print of her. The ER that euthanized her made an ink print of her paw print, but I wish I could have had a clay paw print. If something like a clay paw print is important to you or your family, I would ask your vet it they can make one. If not, you can buy a kit to bring with you. They have them on Amazon and at Hobby Lobby. I'm so sorry about your dog. ?

Skip it. At best, I would go for an hour and then make an excuse to leave.