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sweet2ndchance

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Everything posted by sweet2ndchance

  1. One of my daughters was like this as a child. She would read in the shower if she could figure out how lol. I agree, it is a problem I was happy to have but it does come with it's own set problems as well.
  2. This would depend on your state. Ex wanted to prove I was cheating in order to get me registered as a sex offender in the state we divorced in. Why? Because he's crazy but that's another story. For the record, I never cheated. Because our family was not high profile, the judge threw out his claims of adultry as irrelevant to the divorce. She said unless he held public office or was otherwise a high profile person, it didn't matter in our state. Definitely consult a lawyer in your own state. Divorce law is so very different from state to state. Everything else that Quill's boss recommended though is pretty universal. Document assets and separate financials ASAP.
  3. Yes, this is true. At least it was in my case. My ex consulted ALL the attorneys in town so I had to go out of town to find an attorney. 😕 Not trying to get OP to play dirty but it is important to find an attorney you work well with. Just like finding a good match for you in a doctor. Not all attorneys work the same way or have the same... um... morals? lol. I've had to have several attorneys throughout my ongoing battle with my ex and some have been better than others. (10 years post divorce and we are still in court. Not typical of course, I have a particularly nasty ex)
  4. THIS!!!!!!! Getting a lawyer is not a b!tch move, it is protecting your rights and property. Getting a lawyer isn't the same as getting a divorce either. Getting a lawyer just means that you are finding out what you are and are not entitled to and what is required in your state to get a divorce. For example, my parents had to be legally separated and maintain separate households for a year before they could even file for divorce in the state they were in. When I got divorced in a different state, the whole process of just the divorce itself was done in 5 months. It varies a lot from state to state. A b!tch move is telling someone you want a divorce but then try to tell them what they should and shouldn't do about it. He doesn't have to know that you are interviewing lawyers (yes, not only should you talk to a lawyer, you should talk to more than one to find one that you work well with). If he wants a divorce, what you do with your time is no longer his business as of the moment he uttered those words. Even if you do want to try to reconcile, he doesn't have to know that you have done your homework for the worst case scenario right now.
  5. My ex was the same way, I ran the finances despite many many many attempts to get him involved. Do protect yourself financially. If you don't already have one, get a bank account in your name only. Squirrel away as much as you can. In most states, you are entitled to 50% of what is in a joint account. Check with a lawyer about the laws in your state. If no papers have been filed yet, then it doesn't matter what you do with the money in the joint accounts. Honestly I spent weeks prior to our split siphoning money a little at a time into my personal account because I knew even though he wanted nothing to do with finances while we were married, as soon as the sh*t hit the fan, he would try to control me by restricting my access to the joint account and I was right. He did exactly that. And boy was he mad when that didn't work because I had thought ahead and made sure I had at least some money squirreled away. Especially when he found out I was 100% legal in doing so. 😉 Honestly, if he is the type to blame you for everything, he is going to find a way to do it regardless. Do what you need to do to protect yourself. No one can fault you for that. Do not worry about what he thinks or what he will do. If he is the crazy making type, don't let him drag you down with his crazy. Been there. Done that. Is your daughter still a minor? If not, the courts won't care one bit about the affects of divorce on her. Even if she is still living with one of you. If she is still a minor but she is within a year or two of 18 (which it sounds like she is if she isn't already over 18), the courts will not believe claims that you are "ruining her life". Divorce doesn't ruin children's lives, crazy making does. My parents divorced during my senior year of high school. Yes it sucked and they were way more focused on themselves than me which made it all the easier for me to make some less than stellar choices. I missed out on some things because of their divorce, sure, but I wouldn't say it ruined my life. Made it more difficult for a time, but definitely didn't ruin my life.
  6. Yes, you will crash eventually when the adrenaline wears off. I will have been divorced 10 years this August. I have since remarried and current dh and I have the best relationship I've ever had with anyone. But there are still parts of my divorce and first marriage that rear their ugly head and send me to tears. Current dh is amazing and just lets me cry it out in his arms. Find a sympathetic ear who will let you lean on their shoulder. I will always carry the scars of my past with me, I have no choice, but things do improve. You will find happiness again whether it be a new relationship, new found freedom you didn't know you needed, strength you never knew you had or just peace with your new normal. Or a combination of them all. Do consider talking to your doctor about sleep aids and mental health. A therapist who can help you sort through your feelings about this new chapter in your life can be a life saver as well.(((hugs)))
  7. My oldest daughter wanted to be a phlebotomist from the age of about 6 or 7 lol. Her sister was born just a little early but needed lots of blood drawn for issues with jaundice. Oldest dd was absolutely fascinated with the whole process. When she graduated high school, she actually applied for a radiologist program but wasn't chosen. She works as a preschool teacher for now (working with young kids in some way was her second choice career as a kid) but I hope she tries again because she has wanted to work in the medical field since she was very young. While it is not the focus of our homeschool, I do encourage and facilitate career research from the time they are old enough to say "I want to be a ... when I grow up."
  8. Some options.... Singapore Math (might be difficult to jump in at 3rd grade if you and your child aren't familiar with the teaching style) Mathematical Reasoning (from Critical Thinking Press) Beast Academy, as was mentioned ( You could start at level 2 or 3 or just do the online version, the comic book style appeals to most boys) Math Mammoth (worktext written to the student) MEP (free, but you will need to look through the materials thoroughly to get the most out of it)
  9. Oh my gosh, that brings back memories. I totally had the big sticky noted calendar with all the micromanaged time slots for everything lol. Around that same time, I found Flylady. She taught me a lot about how to do household tasks that my mother never taught me and how to do anything in 15 minute increments lol. I rarely if ever see Flylady mentioned anymore. I still have a copy of "Sink Reflections" around here somewhere lol.
  10. It does sound like LOE is a bit of an overkill for your dd. If you already have curriculum you prefer for many of the LA topics covered in LOE, it probably won't be the right fit for your situation. I'm not sure AAR would be worth it for you either if your daughter is breezing through the phonics easily and already reading at a late elementary level. AAS might be a good fit since you said your daughter likes the spelling analysis in LOE. AAS along with FLL and WWE would be a fine language arts program for a first grader. Some people hold off on WWE until 2nd or even 3rd grade but if your first grader is ready for it, there is no reason to wait. If all you want from LOE is the spelling/phonics portion, I think AAS is going to be your best bet for a similar program.
  11. This was not the case at all when I had to go to mediation for family court. I had to sit across the table from my ex for every mediation session without lawyers present. Walking out without agreeing to anything was seen as being "the stubborn one". I don't mean to be a downer but I really did think that mediation would be as PinkTulip described especially since my ex had a court documented history of violence, bullying and poor judgement. It was not so in my case and I would have really appreciated someone telling me that it was possible that we would have to sit across from each other and try to agree on custody and visitation. Of course, DawnM's case isn't a custody dispute, so hopefully for her it will go more like PinkTulip described but I wanted to add my experience just so she isn't blindsided if it is not. Best of luck, DawnM, with your mediation tomorrow. I really do hope it all goes smoothly and you just have more evidence of what a piece of work the birth mother is and everyone present can vouch for your son to stay with you permanently.
  12. They just changed name and form a little bit. Now they are "interactive notebooks" lol! But even those are starting to fall out of style too. Guess everyone has caught on how much work they are to create. 😛
  13. I developed pre-eclampsia with my last child. He was my 6th child and I had never had pre-e with any of my other kids. I wasn't considered advanced maternal age yet (I was 33/34 at the time). But I can remember being 33 - 34 weeks at the time and just crying with my feet up in the air because they were so swollen. My blood pressure had been slowly creeping up every visit. I would mention it to the dr and he would blow me off. I went in to the hospital when he wasn't the dr on call and the on call doctor wanted to confer with my OBGYN before he did anything. I got sent home from the hospital despite the high blood pressure readings. I asked if there was something they could give me for the high blood pressure and all the related symptoms like the pitting edema and grogginess. I was told to drink more water and rest. Finally, at my 36/37 week appointment my blood pressure was through the roof (190 something over 110 or 120 if I remember right, it was scary high) and I had put on 10lbs since my last appointment a week and a half earlier. Can you believe he still didn't want to induce me? The nurse had to talk him into it and then he would only agree to it if we went straight to the hospital right then because he had evening plans... So of course we went straight to the hospital. He broke my water and put me on pitocin (despite my objections and explanations as to why we should try at least a couple hours without the pitocin first) I ended up delivering with just the nurses in the room because even when they called him to tell him I was fully dilated, he didn't think it was possible because it had only been two hours since he broke my water and he was getting ready to go to dinner. When he walked in, ds was being tended by the nurses and he had a deer in the headlights look. After he got a sense of what had happened, he had the gall to say, "Well at least we beat pre-eclampsia!" I wanted to punch him in the teeth. During my entire 3 day hospital stay, my blood pressure never went down. The nurses kept telling the OB that I needed attention but he kept saying it was fine, it would go down eventually. At 2 weeks post-partum, it was still 175ish/100ish. I begged him to prescribe me something or send me to someone who would. He told me it was because I was fat and that when I lost the weight my blood pressure would go down.... I ended up at an urgent care that finally prescribed me blood pressure medication and told me if it didn't start going down in the next 24 hours, go to the ER in another town away from this OB. Thankfully, it did go down and stayed down. After two months, on blood pressure meds I was able to wean off them. Oh and I am still overweight for my height but my blood pressure has stayed normal for over 8 years despite what that ******* OB told me. The only other time in my life I've had blood pressure issues was when I had placental abruption with a different pregnancy and my blood pressure bottomed out from internal bleeding. But that also didn't dissuade the stupid OB from saying it was my weight. While this OB was a bit of an extreme case, I do think maternal post partum education and care in this country is deplorable at best. Now that I think about it, the home birth I had with my second to last child, I had a 2 day, 2 week and 6 week post partum appointment with the midwife. I think that would largely be a step in the right direction.
  14. True, it is sometimes easier to get a 504 with a diagnosis of some kind in some states/districts but it is not legally required. Two of my kids had 504 plans and neither had a true diagnosis of anything at the time but one did go on to get an IEP for dyslexia/dysgraphia. On their 504s however, it was just listed as "learning disability, unspecified". It will depend on your particular district and sometimes even the particular school. More testing couldn't hurt. PeterPan had some excellent suggestions of where to start. Both of my kids with 504s/IEP got some accommodations and help with the 504s and that was plenty for the one child but the other needed even more concessions and help so he was given an IEP the following year. Both were in mainstream classrooms, both very smart and very specific strengths and weaknesses. Some of the concessions given were extra time on tests, teacher written notes, a scribe for written portions of tests, and more. Your daughter does sound like a good candidate for mainstreaming even if she is behind right now. She doesn't sound far off from my child that ended up with the IEP.
  15. I remember when Spell to Write and Read (SWR) was THE spelling program. It has a learning curve for the teacher especially if you aren't familiar with Spalding or Orton-Gillingham style instruction. I think that was part of its decline. I used it to some extent with all my kids (and still have my original manuals) but I will be the first to admit it is dry as a desert and boring if used as it is exactly. Programs like All About Reading/Spelling and Logic of English that have come since SWR was at the height of its popularity are an improvement on the dry and boring aspect. I also don't see 100 Easy Lessons or MEP or Five In A Row mentioned as much any more. We have always been secular homeschoolers but I've never had much issue at all with the occasional mention of religious views as long as I can edit it out easily if I want to. Being a secular homeschooler was the minority within the minority as homeschooling was still a bit of a weird thing to do when I started. I can even remember being told by a few people that it couldn't be legal for me to homeschool if we weren't religious lol. But the secular homeschool world has gotten vicious since I started homeschooling. I've made the mistake a few times since coming back to homeschooling of suggesting a religious curriculum that is easy to remove the religious bits as you see fit and been blasted for it. Apparently, there are enough secular curricula available now that suggesting that someone adapt an even faintly religious curriculum is blasphemy, lol. Yes, pun intended. 😛 Co-ops used to just be something fun to do on a Friday afternoon. It could be a simple as a park day and a craft or just a parent led class that was mostly just a simple way to get kids together and practice working in a group. No pressure, no grades, more of an organized social outlet for moms and kids than an educational experience. Now, oh my gosh, co-ops are run like mini private schools! It's just unreal to me how regimented homeschool co-ops can be now. They are definitely not something we will ever participate in but I seem to be in the minority, again *sigh*, because the second question after "Are you a homeschooler?" always seems to be "So, what co-op do you go to?"
  16. We scan or take pictures of the very best or favorites and keep them on the computer. They have a notebook for keeping the ones they want to keep and a limited area to display their favorites. When the art display area is full, they have to pick which picture to replace if they want to hang another. Same with the notebook, when it's full, they have to start culling. Pictures from the display area that come down can be put in their notebook if they want and have room in their notebook. Pictures "for mom" go in the display area so they are eventually culled. They learn pretty quick to only keep their best work.
  17. I hate the light and the buzzing from fluorescent lights. Both drive me nuts. I also wear sunglasses all the time and get headaches from extended exposure to bright light (aka something I cannot flee immediately when the light starts to hurt my eyes). And honestly it doesn't even have to be terribly bright to bother me. Even just the wrong color of light or the angle can be bothersome to me.
  18. lol, yeah none of us are particular Disney fans. But it was over $20 cheaper than the regular IP. It was purely monetary for me. 😉 I can't remember what the time was on the rice, but we did do the quick release. Ds was fascinated watching it lol. From a safe distance away of course. 😉 I bought some Basmati rice. I haven't ever made Basmati. I've made Jasmine, long grain, short grain sushi rice and arborio rice but not Basmati. I did the Jasmine first in the IP just because I knew what to expect based on how I make it on the stove. It's the kind I make most often. I really do love experimenting and cooking in the kitchen. It's just my back has gotten to the point where standing over stove and constantly stirring something or making an intricate meal just can't happen any more. 😞 That's one reason I haven't made rice pudding in a long time. The constant stirring over the pot and then tempering the egg and then stir stir stir some more... Making IP rice pudding this morning was soooo easy by comparison. No egg tempering and no strands of scrambled egg in the pudding lol. My son however was not impressed when he saw me add sugar to an egg like that lol. My older kids grew up on rice pudding at least a couple of times a month. I had not even realized I had not made rice pudding that youngest ds could remember. 😞 I told Dh this morning to ignore the Amazon Cart. Anything Instant Pot related that looked interesting or useful or just fun I threw in there last night lol! I'm excited to maybe be able to start actually cooking again. 😄 I made IP salisbury steaks for dinner. Yum! That's going to be a new regular I think with some tweaking. The refried beans turned out ok, also needs some tweaking. The yogurt was not as tangy as I like but dh likes it. Again, more tweaking. lol I have so many tabs of recipes to try open right now, it's not funny, lol.
  19. Right, so dh and I were at the store and happened to find a 6 qt Instant Pot on sale for $65. The catch? It's the Mickey Mouse one lol! I'm a cheapskate that can live with a Mickey Mouse Instant Pot. 😉 So far I've made Jasmine rice in it. It was acceptable, a little sticky for my liking but within acceptable range. It's now in the fridge to make rice pudding in the morning. I'm in the process of making vanilla yogurt at the moment. It's taking a little more standing around checking the temperature as it cools than I would like but I'll try the cold water cooling method next time and see if that helps. Ds has already declared that we are making his favorite, refried beans, in it tomorrow. I usually make them in the crockpot but I told him we could make them faster in the Instant Pot lol.
  20. So dh and I talked it over and it sounds like an Instant Pot might be a helpful addition to the kitchen rather than just another appliance for the appliance cabinet lol. So which one should we get? We feed three of us here daily. Four of us a couple times a week. As many as 10 once every few months or so. I'm thinking maybe the 6 quart so I can make enough for leftovers most of the time? Would that work? Or should I get the 8 quart?
  21. It's not so much that we don't like the texture of slow cooker meat, it's just we don't want that texture at every meal, kwim? If the InstantPot creates that same texture as the crockpot that is going change how I use it if we get one. I have a couple of autoimmune issues, EDS with scoliosis and food allergies to contend with while cooking. Right now, it is mostly the scoliosis that is keeping me from spending as much time in the kitchen as I would like. Used to, I could get by with anti-fatigue mats and proper shoes in the kitchen when I cook. But now that my scoliosis is getting worse and pretty severe, even sitting on a stool while I cook has a time limit before I need something with more back support. Oh and no worries about tomato sauces in the Instant Pot. I'm allergic to tomatoes lol.
  22. I've tried searching for old Instant Pot threads but didn't have much luck. If I'm just blind as a bat, feel free to point me in the direction of the Instant Pot threads, lol. I have several chronic conditions that are making it hard for me to stay in the kitchen to cook anymore. We are starting to rely way to much on processed food nowadays because of it (whereas I used to cook everything from scratch and nothing was processed) and we need to put a stop to it. I was never interested in the InstantPot threads before because it just seemed like a fad and I was already used to cooking using the stove and crockpot so it seemed like a waste. Now that chronic pain is limiting what I can and can't do, I'm starting to look into it. So, I don't know anyone IRL that owns one, so I can't borrow one and try it sadly. How does the meat come out in the InstantPot? I mean I know you can use the saute function and it is like cooking it on the stove but when you used the pressure cook option, how is the texture? It seems to me, through watching videos, that the texture is similar to cooking in the crockpot. Is that a correct assessment? I love rice but I don't like it sticky (except in applications where it has to be at least a little sticky like sushi and onigiri). All the videos I've watched about rice cooking, the rice comes out sticky even when they rinse the rice. Is that just how Instant Pots cook rice or is it possible to get non-sticky rice from the Instant Pot? How does pasta come out? Is it chewy, mushy, al dente? We like it just past al dente but definitely not mushy? Is it possible to cook it that way in the Instant Pot? That's all the questions I can think of for now that I haven't found an answer for yet. Thanks for any insight you can give me!
  23. My husband likes leftover salisbury steaks in a grilled cheese sandwich, patty melt style. Like kbutton said, you could cut them up into bite size pieces and make a hamburger vegetable soup or stew. Change up the sides to go with just salisbury steak and gravy, serve it over egg noodles or with mashed or roasted potatoes, or serve it with plain rice or rice pilaf. ETA: Oh, dh just suggested breaking it into pieces and eating it with fried rice. I used to make salisbury steak in bulk and freeze them, basically anything you might use a hamburger patty or meatballs in, it should be good.
  24. Run and don't look back. You are thinking about it and hoping someone will tell you it is the right thing to do. You don't need anyone's approval to do what is best for you. Run and free yourself. Do it now while there is far less to lose.
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