Dh and I usually preface "suboptimally expressed thoughts and feelings" with some version of "I'm just going to say this and fix it later. Please don't take what I say now personally." Dh and I rarely argue and we definitely don't have full out fights about anything. 🤷‍♀️ It works for us. Sometimes, I'm having issues though and dh can see it but I'm not ready to talk about it yet. Sometimes I need space to sort things out before I'm ready to talk about it with him. I've had to train dh to let me have that space sometimes. That just because he can see I'm troubled doesn't mean I want to talk about it right then. And as part of the give and take of our relationship, I've had to remember that he needs to know sometimes that everything will be okay when I'm having issues but haven't involved him yet.

Interesting. The first place I lived that I experienced being asked where I went to church was in North and South Carolina. 🤷‍♀️

I know where Scarlett lives. It's not far from me. In this area, most social circles here would consider it neighborly to ask where you go to church and offer to take someone to your "church home" if they don't have one. I find it annoying to be asked as I don't think it's anyone's business but in our area, the local culture considers it a "get-to-know-you" question and yes, sometimes it is judgy in nature. It is so ingrained in the local culture though that it is like trying to stop the wind from blowing to get some people to understand that it is not a proper question in polite company in other places. It just is what is here. I think in the context of the HOA with that covenant, you could even say that if you don't know your neighbor well enough to ask them where they go to church, then don't make complaints about them until you do.

Yes, the church question is a regional/cultural thing. I've lived in areas where it's the 2nd or 3rd "get-to-know-you" question people ask and I've lived where the most likely answer you would receive to that question is a "it's none of your business". Personally, I don't like the question as I'm non-religious and I have often been on the receiving end of the treatment that @HomeAgain described. But I also agree with @Tree Frog that someone who would ask that question is usually someone I wouldn't get along very well with anyways. I think the point though that @Scarlett was trying to make was that the covenant in that particular HOA wanted you to be neighborly and get to know your neighbors before you start criticizing and making complaints against them.

Personally, I would send the company a lawyer's letter, mailed certified, stating that you have tried to contact them about the matter and have not received any response from them. Furthermore, any future letters from them will be considered harassment and pursued as such until they talk to you, or your lawyer, about the matter. Just ignoring it until they take bigger action against you might bite you in the butt. I would go ahead and get a lawyer involved since you suspect you are being unfairly singled out. Don't deal with the neighbor at all. She washed her hands of the responsibility so deal with the ones she delegated her responsibility to, in my opinion.

I've always wanted to go "home" to Phoenix. It is where I grew up. But last time I was there, I've come to realize, it's not the same place I grew up anymore. I've lived in the "Hawaii of Japan", Okinawa. I would go back there and live as an expat in a heartbeat if the opportunity presented itself. I haven't been to Hawaii itself but I imagine it would be similar tradeoffs living there as living in Okinawa. Honestly, my dream would be to live as an expat almost anywhere overseas and travel the world as much as possible. I'm not much of a politics person but if I had to consider politics, I would definitely agree with those above and say no where in the US would suit me. Where I live now, a tiny town in the mountains of Arkansas, is the longest I've lived in one place in my entire life. I've lived here for just over 10 years now. When we first moved here dh and I were quite sure that we would only be here temporarily and that we wanted to live in a metro area eventually but the longer we live here and the older we get, the more we appreciate the remoteness of where we live. We love that we rarely have to put up with neighbor issues as there are acres between us and our neighbors. We have 4 seasons but none are extreme. We can get to a larger city on a day trip and a metro area on an overnight trip. We actually have several choices for both larger cities and metro areas depending on which direction we go. More and more though, we are just ordering online instead of traveling to the city even. Shipping is usually less than the cost of gas to get to the larger cities and metro areas. We have an excellent doctor within an hour drive of us and that is huge for us since dh and I both have chronic health problems now. Just the thought of moving away from this area and having to find another primary care doctor gives me anxiety now. Basically, the cons of living here have been outweighed by the pros for us. So we will likely be staying put for a very long time, this is more than likely our forever home.

When I was young, long before I had kids, I had picked out the names Lauren Alexandra for a girl and Anthony Isaac for a boy. None of my kids bear those names lol. If dh and I had had a girl, her name was going to be Aya Nicole.

A carpenter or sometimes a handy man could do this for you. There are also Ikea hacks to achieve a similar look. Just google something like "built-in Ikea bookcases". We diy built something similar in one of our past rental houses that had a beautiful picture window in living room but no storage. It wasn't hard at all but it is a lot easier if you have a table saw, a miter saw and other power tools.

I've been to Ashland. Have a friend who lives in Ashland. If @Just Kate can't help I can see if my friend might be able to help.

When I last did the blood test, I can't do skin tests, I tested positive for peanut allergy but I've never reacted to peanuts ever. Doctor wasn't concerned and said if I didn't react then it was fine to continue eating them. So I hope you can have your scallops soon! 🙂

With shellfish allergy (which I have too) you should have an epipen. I would feel safe enough, knowing my allergies and how they come on and resolve, doing a challenge with my epipen in the other hand just in case and of course near a hospital since you need to go to the ER when you use your epipen anyways. Even though my shellfish allergy was adult onset, I've found I just don't crave it anymore now that it has been years and years (15 years I think? I don't remember exactly anymore). I've done challenges a couple of times and I was still allergic each time. Since I don't even crave it anymore, I probably won't do anymore challenges.

Here they graduate at pre-k to go to the elementary school (even though its the same campus), 2nd grade to go to the intermediate school across town. 5th grade to go to the middle school (across the street from the intermediate school) and then 8th grade to go to the high school. When I had kids going to multiple schools in this district it was crazy town trying to get to everything. My youngest is enrolled in the district in the next town through school choice. Pre-k, 6th, 8th and high school are the only graduations that I'm aware of in this district. And it is all one big campus for pre-k through 12th since it is considered a rural school.

We had that happen once. Dh didn't have to u-turn, as it was a two lanes in each direction road we were on, but he did follow them and call the police. The police said don't follow them and just took the license plate number. We filed a police report but we never heard anything about it. The driver wasn't local so I don't know if that contributed to lack of follow up. Hopefully, some day karma will catch up to them for playing stupid games and they will finally win a stupid prize for their efforts.

I had two different experiences with Headstart, in the same school no less! First one to go to Headstart, the teacher was amazing. They understood that he was not my only child and that I was working/going to school and could not just drop everything. Advanced notice was given for events and it was understood that not everyone's parent could attend. Second child who went to Headstart, the amazing teacher had taken a position in second grade. She assured me that second child had an amazing teacher as well in the teacher that took her place in the Headstart classroom. Oh boy, was she wrong. Our experience was much like yours. No notice given for events they expected parents to attend, age inappropriate activities for our 3yo child who had qualified for 2 years of Headstart due to disabilities like expecting him to write his name on his own the first day, constant battling this teacher on his IEP... it just goes on and on. The last straw was when there was a class party that I was unable to attend because she only gave 12 hours notice and she painted his face without permission! Like we had specifically signed the permission slip at the beginning of the year that said NO he was not to have any lotion, sunscreen or anything else applied to his skin at school because he breaks out in a rash depending on the ingredients. She painted a batman mask across his entire face with this latex like plastic-y face paint! We almost had to take him to the ER because his eyes were nearly swollen shut the next day despite scrubbing it off immediately when he got home! Luckily we have an amazing family pcp that prescribed him prednisone after we sent a picture and said if that doesn't bring the swelling down fairly quickly, take him to the ER. The prednisone worked but the teacher was like "Oh, I didn't know. All the kids were getting their face painted. He wanted to do it." You trust a 3yo to self advocate?!?! If we had known, you know if the teacher had mentioned that they would be face painting, then we wouldn't have sent him to school that day! Ugh! Sorry for the novel but I'm right there with you. Some preschool teachers and administrators just don't live in the real world sometimes. I'm sorry they are giving you a hard time.

I also know someone whose escape artist toddler was killed that way. I think we might be remembering the same person. 😢 FIAR forum? She got tons of condolence cards from the forum. I know we sent one. I've often wondered how that mom is doing these days. I also absolutely agree with that last sentence. So true.

When my 5th child was born, my 4th child was almost 2 years old. It was just me and 5 kids under 10 years old as husband at the time was working overseas as a contractor. One morning I went to get 4th child out of her crib and ready for the day after I had nursed the newborn and... she wasn't there. Checked her closet and the window. Window closed and closet empty. Search upstairs for her, couldn't find her. Ran downstairs and noticed the refrigerator door wide open. Look in the homeschool room next to the kitchen and there she is.... sitting on top of a six foot tall bookshelf eating a piece of cheese and looking at a book! "Oh hi mommy!" She said swinging her feet happily. I went that day and got a crib tent so she could not escape her crib. If I could not have found a crib tent, I probably would have secured her window and locked the door. None of her siblings had ever escaped the crib and made it far without me hearing. I have no idea how she made it downstairs and to the top of that bookcase without me hearing her but it scared the crap out of me. No idea how long she had been up or how long she had been downstairs either. I completely understand why parents would lock their child's bedroom door at night though.

I like mayo (mayo not Miracle Whip) on chicken burger (except Chick-Fil-A style) and sometimes on regular burgers but not as a condiment that you dip things in. Oh, I also like cold salads like pasta salad and potato salad that are mayo based. I grew up where fry sauce (mix of ketchup and mayo) was common. So I don't find mayo on fries strange, it's just not my thing. I'm allergic to tomato so no ketchup for me unless I make my nomato ketchup. Usually I eat fries plain.

Arkansas law has changed a little bit. You can get a learner's permit at 14 still but you have to have a clean driving record (no serious tickets or at-fault accidents) for 6 months prior AND 16 years old to get your intermediate license which allows you to drive a non-commercial vehicle unaccompanied, so personal cars and trucks only. When you are 18 you can get an unrestricted license if you have a clean driving record for 1 year prior. The intermediate license is actually visually different from an unrestricted license. It is portrait format instead of landscape. While I'll agree AR is still pretty lax compared to many states, they did change their license system in 2009 to try and make it a little more stringent. https://www.dfa.arkansas.gov/driver-services/license-id-and-permits/graduated-licenses/learners-and-intermediate-license In the mid 90s when I was in high school, I was in AZ which at the time required driver's ed before you could get your permit. You took driver's ed as a one semester class in school when you turned 15. Most people took the class in high school but not all. If you didn't take driver's ed as a high school class, you had to take it as a paid class through a driving school. I've actually known quite a few people who didn't have licenses for one reason or another as an adult. My ex-mil still doesn't have a license and she is in her 60s now. She was just always too nervous behind the wheel. Now she lives in a very walkable community as a result.

My dad has a diminutive form as a given name and so does dh's grandma. Both have had to correct people all their lives. I have a name with many diminutive forms, I've always had to correct people for what I prefer to be called. I always hated hearing my legal name as a child because at home I was only called by that name when I was in trouble. I think no matter what they choose, there will be possible shortcomings to it, maybe it will be a problem for the child, maybe it won't. My dh legally changed his name as an adult because he hated his given name for which his mother had chosen a creative spelling. He changed it to a diminutive of his given name but it is commonly used as a given name in the US. I think they should name the child what they find pleasing and if the child really doesn't like it, they can legally change it. It really isn't that arduous of a process. No different really than a woman changing her name when she marries.

When I was pregnant with my first, I craved the milk from a bowl of Fruit Loops. I didn't want to eat the cereal, I just wanted the milk after the cereal soaked in it lol. I just saw a little while back that they actually sell Fruit Loops flavored milk now. lol! With all my kids, I craved Poptarts at one point or another. I can't stand Poptarts normally. When I crave Poptarts, it's time to take a pregnancy test and it is very very rarely negative at that point lol. When I was pregnant with my 4th, we lived overseas and I craved McDonald's ice cream cones. We had McDonald's but they did not serve soft serve ice cream cones. If you asked for ice cream, you got the little ice cream cups like you can buy at the grocery store.

I always ate before the kids while I was making their meal if I was going to read aloud during meal times. Audiobooks are also great during meal time. When my big kids were little, I would read while they were in the bath. When I had nursing babies, I would read aloud while the baby nursed. The bigger kids were allowed to play with quiet toys in the floor or draw and color at the table while they listened. My current youngest is one of those kids who will just get up and wander away while listening, stand on his head, and is in constant motion but I can ask him questions and he is listening even when it seems like he's not. As long as he's listening, I permit him to do whatever he wants as long as it is quiet. He also does like to listen to audiobooks as he is falling asleep at night.

#1 - I got a cold leftover dinner service tray because dinner was over. Fried chicken, collard greens (which I hate), mashed potatoes, a roll, southern sweet tea. I don't know what I would have wanted but not that lol. Plus the stadol they gave me during labor was messing with me and I was having trouble swallowing so that probably didn't help. #2 - I don't remember but probably breakfast. He was born just before midnight and I don't remember much other than I was hemorrhaging. #3 & #4 Don't remember but probably breakfast again since they were both born in the early morning. #5 - Homebirth and the midwife had my dad make me eggs and toast lol. #6 - Born in the late afternoon so probably a dinner tray but I really don't remember what. #7 - Chick-fil-a sandwich, waffle fries and Dr. Pepper lol

There isn't one correct answer because different bodies react differently to different things. I am diabetic and I can eat any fruit I want without any issues but carbs send my blood sugar sky high. Dh's diabetic aunt can eat carbs but fruits send her blood sugar up.

Yes, I miss having a crazy house full of littles! I'm not overly fond of the baby stage but toddlers, preschoolers and young elementary age are my favorite stages. The days are long but the years are oh so short. 😭

"Why, yes, I am pregnant and very happy about it. Thank you for noticing. Would you like some bean dip?"