When I watch shows like this, I get ideas for the changes that are on a more reasonable scale. Like, how I might arrange the furniture in a room to fix a traffic flow or room usage problem, or the colors they put together help me figure out what throw blankets and pillows might add a bit of color given walls and furniture in the colors that I have. Sometimes I get ideas about how to repurpose something. But, I do think that some people get hung up on trends more than they would have in the past. When we redid the bathroom a few years after moving in to this house, one feature that we looked for in our materials was durability. We were looking at a particular material for the shower, and we asked about the lifespan of the product. The vendor said that it lasted for 25? 50? years (a long time) but 'when we renovated in 10 years'... and I was shocked. We renovated because there were things in the house that we didn't want (jetted tub, odd layout) and we changed it to have things that we did want (soaking tub, better counter layout, eliminating dust-collecting ledge 9 feet above sinks). I can't imagine gutting the bathroom to replace the shower in 10 years. Actually, it's been 7 years and there is definitely not a remodel coming up any time soon! But, I could imagine repainting - we have color everywhere, and f I wanted to give a room a different feel changing the color would be an inexpensive way to have a dramatic change. I like to look at before and after to see how to get a different effect - cozy, airy, relaxing, energy-filled - and think about what I want for a room. And, I get ideas about colors and styles for when I need to do more routine updates, like replacing a faded shower curtain or worn bath mats or throw rugs (or, in other rooms, blankets, pillows, or curtains). I get ideas for placement of pictures on the wall, but the actual decorations are still just framed artwork that my kids made.

I've heard it frequently, but don't think I ever heard it in regards to vaccination.

Lots of kids that I know take a couple of DE classes but do others at home. If the question is whether colleges would be OK with tech classes, English, and math being DE and history/science being at home, the answer is yes, it's common. If the question is whether he can just do the courses required for the tech degree and not do history and science at all, it likely depends on the college. Some colleges may not care, while others will want to see at least 3 credits of history and science. You could choose to do those at home each year. If you want them to be DE he could do them over the summer so that the other classes fit during the regular school year. You could choose to fulfill the requirements for the 2 year program in 3 years so that he can get the regular high school classes in without having to take them in the summer. You have lots of options, and unless you are going to a competitive college I'd guess that all of them are things that they've seen before.

My kid has never taken an official AP class - the classes were either studied at home or done after taking a regular co-op class that mostly aligned with AP content. Kid is a good test taker, but the thing that was most helpful was the review on the college board site. The method that kid settled on after the first AP was to work through the class (if done at home, we would set a reasonable pace). Sometime in the spring semester, usually around March, kid would start watching the AP videos. Generally they were review, as they should be if the material has been learned. Kid liked to watch while eating lunch. 🙂 If there was anything unfamiliar, kid would learn/practice that material. At some point kid would take a practice test and do extra review of things that were missed. Then kid would look at the videos and read the book instructions on what they are looking for on the free response questions. If timing was a concern, kid would take a timed test a few weeks beforehand to figure out if they needed to work faster and use that as a guide for what to do a the very end. Some kids will do better with a lot more practice tests, but kid does Science Olympiad so has a ton of practice taking timed tests. The books that we used were the 5 Steps to a 5 series.

There's not much point in arguing about what temperature is too hot. People really vary a LOT on what is comfortable. I've lived much of my life in the southern US, with a 10 year stint in NM. During that NM decade, I found that it could get hot if you were in direct sun but otherwise I was never hot, no matter the temperature. During my grad school years in GA, I didn't use AC in my apartment. I'd turn on a box fan when I went to sleep but was otherwise fine. During the summer of 2020, many of my kids activites were open but adults couldn't come in. It was unusually hot for TN, with temps in the 90s and abundant humidity because it rained fairly often. I spent 2-5 hrs/day sitting in parking lots. I'd bring a chair and sit outside, reading and snapping beans. If it rained I sat in the car. I'll admit that was unpleasant, even for me, since I couldn't crack the windows. But, unless I'm doing manual labor I rarely get uncomfortably hot. We set our AC on 80 during the day (spouse works in the basement where it is cooler) and heat in the 60s during the winter to minimize usage (I wear fleece and have blankets everywhere). We recently had guests and turned the AC down to a more normal temperature and in the parts of the house that are shaded (and therefore cooler) I was chilly to me when wearing my usual summer attire. When we went to Disney in August one year, I didn't find it particularly uncomfortable. That's not to argue that other people don't do better with different temperatures - I know that they do! But, there's not much to be gained by trying to figure out what a 'reasonable' temperature is - heart and her dad aren't compatible and for various reasons can't compromise to something that is fine for both. That doesn't make either of them unreasonable, but does mean that finding a new housing situation would be ideal.

I heard back shockingly quickly - they need a formal score report. We sent it last night, but it may take 2 weeks to get there. I guess we'll have to keep checking to see when we can add the classes.

At our co-op people come and go throughout the day. We have badges with bar codes that we scan in and out with. The process is fairly quick. I don't know that it's set up to easily know who is on campus at any given time, but we can go back and see who was there and what time they left. At church they use a different set-up where families sign in and it prints a label for each kid and one for the parent. When a parent picks up, the adult collects the parent label and all of the kid stickers so that you can see that an appropriate adult picked up kids A, B, and C.

5s on English Lang and Calc BC. We had been waiting on scores to know what DE classes to register for. Then we went to register and it wouldn't let us because of prereqs. I'm waiting for a reply to figure out what the CC needs to clear the holds and let kiddo sign up. Kid is relieved, I think, because at least on college on kid's list only accepts 5 for English, so with anything else kid would have to take comp next year instead of a lit class. We had said that we'd likely encourage kid to take Calc 2 if the score was less than a 5 just to make sure that everything was solid, but with a 5 we are OK with starting with calc 3.

I'd definitely see how you live in the house. It could be used as a place for quiet conversation of the main living room has a TV or it's an open floorplan house. It could be an exercise room, especially if your family does easily stored things like yoga or kettle bell work (you might not want to look at bulky exercise equipment, or you might...). You could put a table and storage and use it for games and puzzles. The person that my kid takes music lessons from has a music room - a couch, a piano, a few shelves and several music stands.

It's kind of funny...we have 2 pastors. The young guy, fresh out of seminary, loves traditional worship. The older guy, with kids in college, loves the contemporary service. They bring different people into the church, but it doesn't divide along age lines the way that people talk about. Funny enough, the most enthusiastic group in our church is the choir. There are many people who have been in it for 40 years, but there are also people who are 40, and younger. When we had some church consultants come to advise, one thing that they said was that our choir was too big. My thinking is that if it keeps growing, the director would sit the choir in the transcepts before she would tell people not to sing. I mean, if everybody wants to join the choir and come to extra practice, then it would make more sense to put the choir in the pews and put the remaining non-choir congregation in the choir loft than to tell people to get less involved in a ministry that they are excited about! And, when they first arrived our senior pastor implemented several changes. The congregation was willing to try, but several of us cautioned that the schedule change would likely wreak havoc on the youth ministry, potentially costing us those families, and possibly disrupt the Sunday school small groups that were re-establishing post-covid closures, without bringing in many more people. They acknowledged the problem but pushed ahead. We did it for more than a year. With groups disrupted, visitors struggled to figure out how to fit in. After a painful, frustrating year they switched back. The schedule works for some churches, but with our particular church it was highly disruptive to groups that were previously strong, and it's hard to welcome visitors into a setting where there is nothing established to welcome them to. The point is that pastors, like other people, can look at something and say 'We should do that here' without realizing that every group has a culture, and while change can lead to growth, change may also disrupt the very strength that you could build on. It takes a lot of discernment to figure it out.

People are wired differently. I once heard a talk that described the kind of people who become CEOs as people who, if dropped in a forest with an ax, would cut down all the trees just because it was there to do. I think that spouse is wired somewhat like this. I, on the other hand, if dropped in a forest, would weave myself a hammock and enjoy reading my books in peace. If you are into enneagram descriptions, he is a 3 and I am a 9. But, as much as I am generally content to chill in the hammock, I also see tasks that need doing, that I enjoy doing, and that I have the skills to do, I have found that what works for me is to make commitments for things that I think are important when I am motivated, knowing that I'll follow through even if I don't feel like it, and I'll be glad that I saved myself from turning into a couch potato. I don't do anything that I don't actually believe in - I don't volunteer for things that I'll resent. But, they can count on me to show up at place X to do task Y every Monday. I know myself well enough to know that if I just leave things in an 'I'll do it if I feel like it' state, then I won't do it. At some stages of life, I'm good at setting up a routine and sticking to it. At other stages, things are too unpredictable and I don't want the stress of tying myself to a schedule, so I just figure out what needs doing and do that without feeling bad that the extras aren't being done. In a situation with intermittent travel, I'd make a series of short-term plans. Or, make a longer-term commitment while telling the organizer that you'll be gone for 6 weeks, but expect you back on date X. I also wonder about travel. I have a friend who is happiest traveling. She goes all the time, squeezing in trips during times when she doesn't have local commitments. I'm the opposite - I like my life and routine and am happy to only get away for the occasional week. Both are fine, but they lead to making different sorts of commitments. What do you want your life to look like? Has that changed? Do you need to decompress from other stresses for a month or year to figure that out? Do you need to try different things to see what brings joy at this stage of your life?

When we were out of state doing job interviews we cruised several neighborhoods to get a feel for the area. When we've gone back to visit places that we used to live, we've driven slowly past our former houses to show the kids. My parents worry about getting lost and sometimes scope out a place that they need to go the day before so that they know how long it takes to get there. I understand people being concerned, but if somebody had tailed us while we were driving I would have been a bit worried about that and might have tried to get away from them lest they be unstable. But, I wouldn't have gone back after that.

We live in a state where most people use an umbrella program, and ours mostly aligns with the state requirements. So, we've done health and PE and personal finance. But, they don't necessarily look like a traditional class. We have a former maternity nurse who teaches health at co-op every few years, so I had older take that because it's a good class. But, if not available, we'd probably do something at home and then do a CPR class. For PE, I don't want to double count their extracurriculasr and PE, but I'm happy to record hours for anything that isn't a mandatory practice. We just got back from a vacation where younger spent a couple of hours each day swimming in the ocean and walking on the beach. So, i recorded 2 hrs a day of physical activity for PE. Family bike rides or hikes, ski trips, a daily family walk, rock climbing...I've known people to get their PE all sorts of ways. I don't know that colleges would care, but I figured it doesn't hurt to give them what they ware used to seeing when it's something that we'll do anyway. But, as with anything homeschool, there's no reason to do it the same way that it would be done in a public school. Knowing the personalities of my kids, we often try to knock out these easy credits early - 9th grade, over the summer, etc. They tend to like feeling like they've accomplished checking something off the to-do list, so starting fall of 9th grade with 'you've already earned 1/2 credit in PE/personal finance' is a little bit motivating. Your mileage may definitely vary on that one, though!

I would give up anything that could be added or repurposed. So, keep the 2 acres and no HOA. I second the fact that taking care of 2 acres is a lot of work - we live on 3.5 acres and love it, but it's definitely a lifestyle choice. I'd imagine that you'd get used to lower ceilings, but it's also something that would be hard to change later so you'll have to make a decision about that. But the other things are just room usage choices that could be changed. You could buy a very small house if the acerage and location is right and then add on the desired rooms. There are a couple of houses near us that have major additions on previously tiny houses and involved adding a second story or an entire wing. We don't have both a living room and den, but there is an open area upstairs that could be used to hang out. A bonus room could be added. If you find a location that you like at a good price, an architect can imagine all sorts of things that are hard to see for people who don't remodel on a regular basis. I'll also add that we've seen several people decide to 'downsize' and then find that nothing is big enough. They don't seem ready to downsize. I'm watching my parents do this now - they want to downsize, but also still have a large basement, separate dining room, etc...basically they're willing to give up the formal living room. It's not worth moving just to give up one room.

I'll add that for gen ed requirements, many colleges now have a lot of categories that students need to choose from. Even when it's simple, the requirements change. A college might require a certain number of upper level humanities or social science, so that students take intro to psych and then 2 further courses like developmental psych. Or a college could prefer breadth, so that students choose 2-3 classes in different disciplines. A college can switch from requiring a certain number of humanities/social sciences to specfically requiring 2 of one and 1 of the other. Some now require that one class fulfill a multicultural requirement and another fulfill an ethics requirement, or other combinations of specific requirements. If the goal is to free up college time, you have to be looking at a limited number of schools so that you can see if your choices fit those requirements. Just taking classes across disciplines may or may not fulfill any requirements at a specific college even if all of the credits transfer. One of kiddo's likely schools has started offering the option of taking the first 2 freshman engineering classes online the summer before you start college. Apparently they are getting enough students who have taken the freshman year requirements (English, 2 semesters of calculus, physics with calc, etc) that there were frustrations with students being held up by those 2 classes. If kid goes there, kid may choose to do those classes. Graduating early could be an option, but students might also use the freed-up time to take other classes, earn a masters, spend more time on research, or do a co-op year. But, very early kid set some guidelines around potential colleges so we've been able to look at specific requirements at just a handful of schools. And, we keep in mind that the goal of high school is to educate a high schooler. If a course counts for something else great! But, we only take classes that otherwise fit into our high school plan.

One concern would is about the age at which you can legally do things. It's not necessarily prohibitive, but it can make things a bit more complicated. It's probably not a big deal on college campuses, but depending on how old somebody is when they graduate they could have been promoted at a post-college job and still not be able to rent a car on a business trip. My kid who could have graduated early decided that life was not likely to ever have this much potential free time again. It's not 'free time' in the sense that kid sits around doing nothing, but since I only ask that my kids are doing productive things that leaves a lot of flexibility. Kid is reading a lot that may go towards some DIY senior year credits (in addition to doing some DE that will count towards a college degree). Kid can continue extracurriculars for one more year. Some kids in our orbit are putting a lot of time into jobs.

Would your teen need to be home alone to do this? My dad interacted with a mom who took her kids to work. She had a large office with kid desks in the corner. That would have never worked for my kids - one would have been OK but for the other it would have been a disaster. I agree that classes that met in person at least once weekly would probably be good. I know that you have an involved family - could kid work at somebody's house some? Does your schedule and location allow flexibility, or for you to be able to swing home for lunch? Can kid walk to the library or something similar? What people have access to is so different that it's hard to say what might work. In our situation, when spouse and I are out of the house and the kids are unable to drive, they are stuck and can't go anywhere. Older being able to drive was a huge gamechanger, but until a kid can drive somebody has to be available or they are home alone. But, I could also imagine a situation where they go to classes one day a week, work at a grandparent's house one day, and kid walks to the library one or more days to work around other people for a few hours, or mom comes home for lunch and drops kid at the library to work in the afternoon, or... It's not a weekly thing, but my kids love it when a grandparent is out and takes a kid to lunch. Both kids participate in activities that meet during the day (homeschool academic teams, martial arts, some of other kid's sports lessons, music lessons) - some instructors love homeschool kids because they can fit in extra lessons before the usual aftereschool rush hits. For us this requires driving, but for some people it's walkable or available by public transport and would be a way to not be alone all day. Or, if as 8 said, there's a 2-3 day school then that would likely be reasonable on its own. The gist of all of this rambling is that loneliness is definitely a consideration, and in our case it would likely be insurmountable. But, if a person had our activity availability plus the ability to get places, a kid could have plenty of opportunity to interact with other people. There is also the academic component, and that would be very kid-dependent. One of my kids is pretty content working alone as long as they can check in and talk about what they learned every day at some point. They are very motivated and will learn with any format - taught by me, a book, online class, live class - and will hunt down alternate explanations until they understand what they are supposed to learn. The other tends to struggle without more involvement. I'd likely make different decisions for each kid.

In a class with just 25 students, most instructors get to know them at least a little bit. I'd wait and see how the class is formatted before figuring out how to get to know the instructor. If the class is lecture, then getting there early and lingering after class can give students a chance to make small talk. When I taught at a CC and now at co-op, those students are usually the ones that I get to know best. And, participate in class. None of these interactions need to be forced - just be willing to answer questions (Does anybody know...?) or, if you can't answer, then you probably have questions to ask. Before and after class, the instructor won't necessarily talk every time since sometimes they may be rushed, but other times they may speak, or it's a time to ask a question, or they may ask for help moving a table and that breaks the ice. If the class has time to work during class, then often the instructor will circulate and answer questions. In classes where this model is common, it's usually easy to get to know the students. It was one of the perks of taking/teaching labs. In those situations. always work on a problem. That sounds like dumb advice to need to give, but often when I give students time to work on problems (genetics in a high school bio co-op class, and at a CC) students who need help are embarrassed and so won't work, saying they prefer to do it at home. Never do that! It's a chance to work side-by-side with the instructor, which is useful on its own and can spur more conversation. If a student has completed the work, have it out to show the instructor. Ask if it's formatted correctly, ask about the one that was tricky, make a note of an unclear concept to ask about, etc. Or take advantage of the time for conversation - I've had students say that they worked ahead to get done before their tournament that weekend, and I've learned that I've had kids with some interesting hobbies from those talks.

I think I'd go at this 2 ways at the same time and hope that something works. In situations where it's easy to do, you/DD could ask the leaders to not always put the girls together. The probably have no idea it's an issue. One of my kids mostly saw a particular friend at one common activity, so they always wanted to be paired together. The leaders don't know that this isn't the case for these 2 girls, but may be happy to mix it up once they know. Then, I'd think about how to approach interacting with the family. Maybe 'We need space' would work, but I might try something more offhand but still direct. Like, when she complains that you didn't ask first say that you are trying to give DD more autonomy to manage her schedule, so you encourage her to sign up for things she's interested in. Sometimes friend is there and that's great, but DD is mostly there for the activity so doesn't check on which kids will be there. Or a more blunt 'DD isn't going to check in every time she makes a decision - she knows that she'll always see friend at Common Activity A, but she makes her plans around her/our family's schedule/interests.' Or 'DD has several friends/friend groups and she tries to spend time with all of them'. The barrage of questions thing is weird. It's not necessarily a shocking for the girls to do (not all girls are this way, but some are), but it would be over the top from a mom. Maybe asking about sunscreen or 'are they stopping for dinner' might be a mom question, but not a stream of them and not the social stuff. It really does look like an anxiety problem. The problem is that it's not rational, so you can't really manage it easily with reasonable conversation. You may need to be unavailable more, or make it clear that you don't phone while driving, or that your phone isn't always on your person so you don't always see/respond instantly. Say you need some digital detox so you aren't checking in as often.

One thing to consider is what your goals are for calc and stats. If you are wanting your student to take them just to learn the material, then the suggested plans offer great options. If you are wanting college credit, look to see what will transfer. For my student, AP Stats and the DE Stats class available at the CC do not fulfill the required stats course that kid will need in an engineering major. Because kid doesn't want to take stats twice, kid is choosing to continue in the calculus series at the CC during senior year - both the AP score from junior year and the DE credits will transfer. Kid is fine with taking math that won't transfer - kid is currently working through a probability text at home - but doesn't think that stats sounds like something kid is interested in doing twice. This will vary - some students like doing an intro version in high school and to prepare for a harder college version, and that's a good plan, too!

We've seen a couple of colleges (State Us, not SLACs) that list a credit of fine arts as part of the 'students who attend usually have taken' course list. Most likely this is because many states require a credit to graduate. For one of my kids, this will be easy since kid takes instrument lessons. I was dreading it for my STEM kid, but it turned out to be pretty cool. We did it by hours (our umbrella says 130 hours/credit). Kid did a music theory class at co-op for 1/2 credit. This class was a hidden gem for this kid, who learned about all sorts of genres. For the other 1/2 credit, kid did a hodgepodge of things. Kid tried out the youth handbell choir at church and used a couple of books to learn the basics of drawing. It turns out that kid is far better at drawing than music (funny since kid 2 and I both play instruments and perform in church a couple of times a year). Kid also used a co-op ballroom class to finish out the credit hours. It turns out that kid liked ballroom enough that, despite having mostly outgrown the academic classes at co-op, kid will go back to take ballroom for fun as a senior (and will volunteer for an hour and then eat lunch with friends). This may remain a fun activity or kid is debating doing some more drawing and turning it into another 1/2 credit. Never did I imagine that kid would contemplate doing extra fine arts! So, I'd consider looking around for some things that are useful to know. Drawing is useful for some science and engineering fields. Ballroom dance can be used socially. A cooking class would be practical. The 'appreciation' classes can open your eyes to things that you never noticed before (and it mighbe be possible to take this DE and knock out a college requirements).

AP classes at many public schools have always looked to me like work for the sake of saying they did lots of work. My kid (and some others over the years) who took bio or history at co-op and then did well on APs just did the same work for the class that everybody else did. Obviously these are the kids who did the work and learned the material (usually these are the kids with good grades), but they are in co-op or online class with other people who just consider it a normal/honors class. But, my kid has also taken 1 DE class and is taking another over the summer. The classes - psych and ethics (intro level philosophy) - are both online and kid hasn't found them to be overly challenging or time consuming, either. Kid will take calc and phyics with calc and English in the fall and I imagine that the combo will be more challenging, but for a kid used to managing a rigorous schedule I don't know know that these will seem particularly more time consuming.

I have one heading into senior year and another starting 9th grade. I'm expecting to have different answers for each kid, despite comparable academic ability, because they are just different kids. For my older, we decided to do chemistry in 9th grade to help the Science Olympiad team, which was in need of kids who knew chemistry. The co-op class didn't look challenging enough, so I asked if kid wanted to try AP. We loosely followed an AP syllabus that we found to help with pacing and I did some labs with kid. The next year, kid chose to loosely follow my bio class, but self-paced at home, and also took a co-op US History class with friends. Both of those naturally align with the AP exam, so kid used the prep videos to review and took those 2. This year, kid decided to take AP Engl Lang and Calc BC. Kid self-studied some but mostly just did the work (co-op English class, self-directed calc at home using several resources). Still waiting on scores for this year, but those will determine kid's placement for DE. We've looked at the course of study at the colleges that kid is applying to, looked at what APs will do, and looked for courses that will transfer from DE. Kid will take whatever English and math is appropriate based on AP scores (second semester comp or 200 English, either calc 2 or 3), and physics with calc. Kid is currently taking an ethics class DE, which transfers, and took one DE class jr year. Kid is doing at-home classes to - a second probability, and interest-led coding and possibly another history class. Our philosophy for high school has been something like...if it's interest-led, let's explore what you are interested in. If you are just taking a class because you need it, let's see if it aligns with AP. If it does, take the test. If it doesn't, that's fine. For some classes, like chem and physics, kid has said that they aren't interesting enough to want to take twice so making them go away is great. Even with engineering sequencing, with one summer of classes kid should be able to graduate in 3 years, or double major, or co-op, or work towards a masters, based on the credits that will transfer. We didn't load up on APs and only took ones that were an easy fit with content that we planned to cover or would specifically help kid skip a college class. We focused on 'dead end' classes - kid's major required 1 semester of chem, so skipping it is great. If kid wanted to be a biochem major, I'd say to take it again at college. I'll also add that tests aren't a big deal for this kid - we joke that science olympiad kids take tests for fun. So, APs didn't add the stress that they sometimes do. For younger, I don't know if we'll do any APs at all. Even though kid is taking my bio class and I know that it would prep kid for the AP, I don't know that kid will be ready to take that kind of test this year since the class doesn't have any test prep - it's just a solid regular class that covers the content so a motivated student could do well with some review. I do imagine that this kid will do some DE. Kid doesn't like school but most jobs that kid is interested in require a a degree. Kid could choose something that just needs an associates (OT assistant) or may continue with thoughts of teaching and earn credits that will transfer. Time will tell, but at this point I'm seeing a different pathway.

With issues that petty I don't think that it will help, but maybe 'Will be provided opportunity and encouraged to attend Catholic mass as expected by the Church'. I wouldn't commit to a number, or to ensuring that they go because life is unpredictable. I don't think your custody agreement should be less flexible than the Church itself. I understand wanting to limit church participation requirement to mass, since most people that I know of all denominations think of youth group and other extras as great when it works (schedule and socially) but not actual requirements. But, by the time that he's trying to manage how you word things, I think that it indicates that he'll just keep looking for things to complain about. My parents have been married for 50+ years and my mom sometimes refers to my dad as 'your dad'. I can't remember the last time that I referred to spouse as 'my husband' to real people - I either say his name or, if in reference to something with the kids, may say 'Their dad will do...'. The only time I say 'my spouse' is online in forums where I don't want to use a name.