How do you encourage leadership and volunteerism?

[Colleen]

Can't quite figure out how to phrase my subject line. I realize that like anything else, we set an example for our children as far as volunteerism is concerned. What I'm thinking about specifically is how you provide opportunities for your middle- and high-school students to exercise leadership and volunteerism. I get rather discouraged when I read the school district newsletter; there are so many activities and opportunities set before the students. I find myself ~ particularly with a posse of younger children on hand ~ at a loss as to how to encourage my oldest in this direction.

 

We're church-goers, but our Chapel is small and actually provides little to no opportunities in this regard. My boys are members of a 4-H club, but again, it's a small group and the community involvement and volunteer activities are quite limited. Years ago, I was much more active myself as far as regularly serving at a soup kitchen, teaching ESL, being involved with a Bible study at a women's shelter. The past five years or so, I've done well just to keep my head above water at home. I'm sure that'll change as my boys all get older, but in the meantime, my oldest is 13 and could step up to this plate. But he's not really a go-getter. He is independent and responsible, but he needs some ideas and direction.

 

Does this resonate with anyone else? Ideas and thoughts?

[charlotteb]

Boy Scouts! My son has been in scouts since he was 6 years old. It is such a blessing! His troop does several service projects throughout the year and of course leadership is one of their basic cornerstones.

[Kathleen in VA]

My two oldest boys are actively involved in the Civil Air Patrol. My oldest son is no longer a cadet because he turned 21 in March, but he went through the whole program start to finish. He is now a Red Cross Instructor and is a senior member in CAP. My second oldest is the Cadet Commander for his squadron and is, as I type, serving as a Flight Commander at this year's Virginia Wing Summer Encampment at Ft. Pickett Army Base.

 

Through Civil Air Patrol they have learned, not only Aerospace Education, but also leadership and search & rescue skills. The Civil Air Patrol is usually first to be called in when there is a remote plane crash or a missing person, such as an alzheimer's patient who has wandered away or a toddler lost in the woods. Both of my sons are certified by the state of Virginia as Ground Team Leaders with the Virginia Department of Emergency Management. They are certified by the Red Cross to help set up disaster centers when there is an emergency such as a hurricane or tornado. They have also been trained to help out in a nuclear disaster because we live near a nuclear power plant.

 

I am also linking to an article our local paper wrote about my son when he won the Civil Air Patrol's highest cadet award. This article will give you an idea of the kind of person CAP encourages young people to become.

 

HTH

[RebeccaC]

This is very important to us. As a family we have set up living quarters for Katrina folks who were sent to our city. We set up beds for 200 at our local state hospital. This I found out about from fellow board member JFS whose neighbor is employed at the local U. Our church sends care packages to our military in Iraq and Afghanistan and our boys help fill boxes and gather donations for the boxes.

 

We have done quite a bit through our Scout Troop as that is a big part of scouting. Our boys with their troop clean a mile stretch of highway 3 times a year. They place flags on the graves of service folks the week before memorial day and then take them off the week after. Any one can do this they just have to contact the cemetery for a list. A lot of the Eagle projects are fixing up local forest preserves and parks. My boys just help with erosion control in a local forest preserve and rebuilt bridges across some small streams.

 

Some of the hs kids around here volunteer at the local animal shelter, hospital, food pantry, and local museum. Of course we live in a metropolitan area so there are a lot of possibilities. My boys help with Sunday School and clean up after wards just about every Sunday. They also do this any time the church has evening services and child care is needed. They also do spring and fall yard clean up for the church the scout troop is at and our church.

 

These are just some ideas to get you going. My boys do a few hours of volunteer work every week. Some weeks more than others but they do a lot.

[Michelle in AL]

If you're son likes awards the congressional award may be something to motivate him:

http://www.congressionalaward.org/congress/index.htm

Someone on this board said colleges look at it like the Eagle Scout award, in that it can lead to leadership scholarships.

[Gwen in VA]

Kathleen,

 

Wow -- another Spaatz Mom on the boards! I am the mother of Sturdy, Spaatz #1567. He still has 2.5 years as a cadet!

 

Civil Air Patrol is THE BEST!

 

But before anyone just pops off and signs their kid up, I would encourage all of you moms to think about your own child. What makes them tick? What are they passionate about? What skills do they have, or do they want to develop?

 

The best volunteer activities tap into your child's interests, passions, and skills.

 

A quick example -- my dd liked to sew. We took that interest seriously and signed her up for various 18th century reenactment sewing classes. ($$$) We provided cloth. We even provided the machine. She provided the enthusiasm. We signed up (me too) for quilting classes. (I can't quilt, but now she can.) This interest in sewing eventually led to her volunteering at a costume shop for a local museum, which led to a paying job there. She is now planning on becoming a textile conservator!

 

We didn't set out to have her volunteer at the costume shop -- we just followed her lead.

 

Not all volunteer work ends up that well -- we have had numerous other volunteer positions drift into nothingness. Scouts didn't work out for my younger son for various reasons. My older son volunteered for three years at a museum. It looked good on his college transcript, but he didn't enjoy it and really did it as a resume builder.

[paula j]

Another mama of a Boy Scout here! Our troop is small as we live in a town of less than 200 people but we have 8 boy scouts and a few webelos that will be joining them soon. We have an awesome leader and our boys do alot of community service. They have a stretch of highway they have adopted and clean up, they put flags on the veterans graves at 4 cemetaries for memorial day, they also perform flag retirement ceremonies a couple of times a year which are very somber. Our troop also does color guard for many events. We had some bad storms last year and our troop participated in a park clean up that involved moving a huge amout of brush and fallen limbs and doing some repairs. They also went around our small town and offered assistence to the elderly people cleaning up their yards.

 

My ds is also involved in 4H but we too have a very small group. We also have a stream team which does river clean ups and water testing.

[Kathleen in VA]

Kathleen,

 

Wow -- another Spaatz Mom on the boards! I am the mother of Sturdy, Spaatz #1567. He still has 2.5 years as a cadet!

 

Civil Air Patrol is THE BEST!

 

But before anyone just pops off and signs their kid up, I would encourage all of you moms to think about your own child. What makes them tick? What are they passionate about? What skills do they have, or do they want to develop?

 

The best volunteer activities tap into your child's interests, passions, and skills.

 

A quick example -- my dd liked to sew. We took that interest seriously and signed her up for various 18th century reenactment sewing classes. ($$$) We provided cloth. We even provided the machine. She provided the enthusiasm. We signed up (me too) for quilting classes. (I can't quilt, but now she can.) This interest in sewing eventually led to her volunteering at a costume shop for a local museum, which led to a paying job there. She is now planning on becoming a textile conservator!

 

We didn't set out to have her volunteer at the costume shop -- we just followed her lead.

 

Not all volunteer work ends up that well -- we have had numerous other volunteer positions drift into nothingness. Scouts didn't work out for my younger son for various reasons. My older son volunteered for three years at a museum. It looked good on his college transcript, but he didn't enjoy it and really did it as a resume builder.

 

Gwen,

 

Hi! Nice to "meet" you. My son recognized your son's name right away:). He says they were at the 2003 encampment together when your son was the communications officer. Cool, huh?

 

Anyway, your post makes a very good point. Both my boys thrive in the search & rescue atmosphere. They also love the military drill and customs & courtesies part of CAP as well. Those things are not for everyone.

 

After 9/11, we were looking for a way to equip them to be able to help and not just stand on the perimeter feeling helpless in a situation like that. CAP has been great for building their confidence in that regard. They don't just *want* to help, they are actually trained to do so.

 

You are so right about discovering your child's passions and utilizing those in a volunteer effort of some kind.

[NancyL]

This is a great topic! Actually I see this as kind of a main theme or thread for homeschoolers, to parallel the discussions about curriculum. I strongly feel that homeschoolers really have the opportunity to interact in their communities in a meaningful way, but it needs to be meaningful for the student, and work with the family plans if possible. My older daughter had a wonderful experience at our local zoo, working the pony rides.This program started in the 30's, but just last year they replaced them with a carousel (!) The admin. coveted the arena location for years and played like Agatha Christie until the ponies gradually disappeared one by one. The Pony Club worked 9 hour shifts, but it was a pleasure if you love horses. (she also commuted by bus--with a transfer) She did this for 2 years, and got some wonderful PR skills. They role acted a lot of the problems they would run into, which was kind of clever for training. (She was 14-16) What a sad day when I took her sister down to get on the 2 year waiting list to be told the program was no more.

Well anyway, at a reception I sat next to a wonderfully sharp exec. for a local Search and Rescue for teens--(I think its called Explorer S and R) He had wonderful training and retention, and our state started this and has the curriculum that is now nationwide, I believe. The problem was our county didn't have such a strong program. So I went through some of the programs I have found here on this board, and I found the Sea Cadets. (Not the Sea Scouts, that's different) They seem to have a wonderful program here, and next summer they have academic and physical "camps" at Navy bases that cost only $75 per week. (she's interested in the Photojournalism, the band at Pearl Harbor, History in Boston, sailing, and scuba also, and cooking school in Chicago, and Naval intelligence) You do have to get them there, but they are picked up and returned to the airport if that's how you send them. We looked into CAP, but the curriculum wasn't as varied and as interesting for my dd as the sea cadets. (www.seacadets.org) I consider it a real find as the local leaders are wonderful. (tip-if the leaders stay in the program after their own kids have graduated, that's a good sign) (they started it with their kids, but they believe in the program--shows there's more commitment on their part) (You must insist on background checks for all volunteers-you can't believe the random people that apply to work with kids in some of these programs) That's all. I really got some great ideas from this board, but you have to evaluate your local program independently, since that's going to be your child's experience. HTH

[Carol in Cal.]

Many great mvolunteer opportunities only accept older children--maybe 14 or 15 and up.

 

This really concerned me, as DD's main experience with volunteering was watching Dad or Mom run out the door to do some volunteer work.

 

This has changed during the past 3-4 years.

 

We found a local ministry that gives food and clothes to the working poor--people whose entire meager check goes to pay the rent on the single room or garage that they share with their entire family. Yes, it's true, lots of people live like that around here. Anyway, Dd helps to sort through donated toys and bag them up for Christmas gifts for these children. This is truly meaningful labor that she enjoys. We started doing this with her a couple of times a year about 4 years ago, and it has been great. Last year she was allowed to be a 'runner' to bring numbered tickets from the front desk to the pickup team for the Christmas giveaway. This way she was not directly interacting with the families, as an 11 year old that would not be appropriate, but she was making a genuine contribution.

 

She also is a member of a Roots and Shoots group locally which meets at least monthly during the school year. Started by Jane Goodall, this organization emphasizes learning about global, local, and natural issues and then making small but meaningful steps to contribute to positive change. It has been extremely empowering. One of their projects, for instance, was to sew old clean socks into cuddle toys for the local Humane Society shelter animals for comfort. For another they had a big garage sale (recycle!) and used the money to fund several microloans that they then followed on the internet. These little girls (ages 10 and 11) actually raised enough money to start 3 women in businesses of their own in other countries! This seems more incredible to me than it does to DD, who just takes it for granted that she can accomplish just about anything at this point.

 

And, we volunteer as a family at a local Lutheran summer camp; building and clearing trails, gardening, doing general clean up work, etc. We have done this for one long weekend 3 times during the past couple of years. During the last one, DD was a babysitter for some of the younger children, and she had a blast. Again, this was a genuine contribution to a meaningful and concrete accomplishment.

 

I had to look hard to find these opportunities, and they have been good experiences. They are small but they do add up.

[Chris in CA]

This has been a source of angst for me. My oldest dd was, and I repeat "was" going to volunteer at a horseriding center for physically challenged children, but I've dropped the ball as the training was on Saturdays and that is our family day - sounds selfish doesn't it??

I have always maintained that family comes first, over activiteis of any kind, but I would really like to have dds involved in helping others as well. I am currently looking for something we can all do, like visit senior citizens, etc. that would bless someone else, but not at the expense of time together. Then when dds are older, like high school age, they can branch out more into independent helps. I think part of the problem is that I am not a "joiner of groups" like scouts, etc. I have a personal dislike for structured groups like that - Okay, I'm an anti-social selfish person, lol

[Peela]

My first thought is Scouts- it is so good for leadership, and community service.

But I know you may not have access to that. Ithink here in Australia there is a correspondence Scouts for isolated kids though.

 

My second thought is...if you cant, you cant. And it's ok. You provide so many things for your children, in terms of a work ethic, a farm life, that us city folk cant possibly give our children in the same way. No one can do it all. We only have them for 20 years or so. They still have the rest of their lives to learn.

[Miss Marple]

My youngest is about the age of your oldest so we've been thinking through this same issue for a few years now. I do think kids need some sort of adult direction. My oldest is very responsible but not quite outgoing enough to do things on his own. With him, we used AWANA as a springboard - he tended to be a leader (just by his nature) in the class. In order to foster a service attitude, we organized up work days for various neighborhood organizations (Big Brother/Big Sister, etc.) in which the kids could serve. Our church has a youth leadership team which he was part of. I would say that at 18 now he is still a quiet leader - not a rambunctious, dynamic type. Whenever there is a need in our church, he is usually one of the first to volunteer. So, in that regard I think we've been successful.

 

Since moving to a new church which doesn't have a junior high/senior high AWANA program, we have enrolled the younger 3 boys in Boy Scouts. Like the others have said, this is a fantastic program to develop leadership skills.

 

One of the things I have found to be the most valuable is to get the kids involved in something out of their comfort zone. In the case of my 2nd son, who is happy to only say 5 words in a day, we had him volunteer at a local mission helping with VBS last month. He isn't used to having to talk so much, answer so many questions from the kids, or dealing with social issues he has never seen. Another time, my oldest was totally blown away when he had to "register" adults at this same mission in order to give away Thanksgiving meals. He came home shocked that most of these people could not sign their name. The "X" signature was always something on movies, but he experienced it in real life.

 

All of these exposures have helped to create a desire to serve as well as to lead in my boys. I think the key is to frequently put them into situations that stretch them. It is hard to spend a lot of time with the oldest in this type of project because the younger ones, in many cases, cannot participate. But if you can find another mom with similar aged kids, maybe you could work something out. I know that the service organizations around here are always looking for volunteers and there is no end to the need for help.

[Jackie in NE]

What I'm thinking about specifically is how you provide opportunities for your middle- and high-school students to exercise leadership and volunteerism. I get rather discouraged when I read the school district newsletter; there are so many activities and opportunities set before the students. I find myself ~ particularly with a posse of younger children on hand ~ at a loss as to how to encourage my oldest in this direction.

 

We're church-goers, but our Chapel is small and actually provides little to no opportunities in this regard. My boys are members of a 4-H club, but again, it's a small group and the community involvement and volunteer activities are quite limited.

 

The past five years or so, I've done well just to keep my head above water at home. I'm sure that'll change as my boys all get older, but in the meantime, my oldest is 13 and could step up to this plate. But he's not really a go-getter. He is independent and responsible, but he needs some ideas and direction.

 

Does this resonate with anyone else?

 

It certainly resonates with me!!

 

We are in a remote location with limited opportunites for involvement with others. My oldest dd has so much to offer! She enjoyed working in a soup kitchen in Wy, and also enjoyed playing piano for the elderly at a nursing home there. It was wonderful. But where we are now, it is just more difficult to find those opportunities.

 

So, I have no advice, but I have certainly benefitted from this thread. Thanks for bringing up this topic!

 

Jackie

[SallyMac]

My ds has done Scouts and is getting ready to complete his project for Eagle rank. Since he was 7 (with cub scouts) he has done the Scout Food Drive going door to door, selling candy bars at the grocery store (the money went to a needy family during the holidays), and stocking shelves at the Food Bank.

 

Through the Lions Club he has helped my husband direct traffic for a road race (over 3,000 runners) which also raised money to help needy families.

 

I would like him to volunteer next at the hospital or at a local soup kitchen. It changes your perspective on everything.

[Beth in SW WA]

 

My ds 13 co-teaches Sunday school for Kindergarten age. He is helping at our VBS this summer by doing the video/techy stuff as well as helping w/ a small group of kids. He serves meals at our local Portland Rescue Mission. He is a leader on his Lacrosse team. He's a leader at youth group and embraces the vision and tries to pass it on.

 

But his greatest leadership skills have been learned via his little sisters and just helping out around the house w/ responsibilities, chores, etc.

[Colleen]

I appreciate all your replies; it's good to put our heads together and brainstorm. Several of you suggested Scouts and I realize I should have mentioned before that we aren't going to go in that direction. Scouts just doesn't "click" with our family, for a variety of reasons ~ not the least of which is that, like Chris in CA, we/I tend not to be a "joiner of groups".;) I don't know if my guys will be drawn to Civil Air Patrol with its military drill, etc. I know a number of young men involved in Scouts or CAP and I do recognize that they're great options for many, but I don't see us pursuing either avenue.

 

Many of the other suggestions mentioned here are possibilities. I think bottom line it's really a matter of encouragement on my part. I tend at this point in life to get consumed by the demands of home and family, and I re-energize by being alone. So truth be told, I'm not doing a fantabulous job of providing opportunities for my guys to serve others. My oldest in particular has of course learned a great deal about leadership simply through his role in the family. As well, he has real responsibilities on the farm and gains (and contributes) a good deal in that respect. All of this is important, but I do want to encourage my children to see service and leadership as extending beyond the boundaries of our own farm and family.

 

Anyway, thanks for helping me think more on this!

[choirfarm]

Hi Coleen,

 

My oldest is 13 as well and pretty shy. Pay attention to his interests. My son LOVES computers and electronics. I direct a children's choir and he has to go and so he was my helper. I am electronically challenged and cannot get the DVD player to work:confused: So he runs everything for me, which turned into running the sound board and the power point which turned into making a slide/power point video for a performance, which turned into running sound and making the end of the day videos for VBS which turned into the church secretary asking him to run the power point for the evening service and telling him she would like him to run it in the morning some next year. It has happened naturally and I thought he would be good at this stuff, but when I mention it..:001_huh: However, when another adult asks him to do something like this, he puffs up. He has really liked running the power point during the evening service. When the church secretary calls I hand the phone to him and let him decide. This past fall I was really worried about his leadership/outside involvement, but it has happened naturally. My husband and I are going to Ethiopia as part of a mission trip and he is getting to go as well. AT first he was upset about his brother not getting to go, but now he is really excited about it. I think it will be life changing for all of us.

 

So look at his gifts and what YOU feel naturally drawn to. I just don't have time for scouts, plus I think dads have to be involved and my dh just doesn't have the time bless his heart. He's a great dad, but a surgeon.

 

Christine

[Laura K (NC)]

I think the only way to really teach any kind of virtue is by example. If you volunteer as a family -- everybody! -- then the kid sees that this isn't just a requirement to for a checklist toward a good transcript or resume. They see that this is a reasonable, typical part of everyday living, and they'll be more likely to volunteer with their own families their whole lives.

[coopers5]

I agree with this point about volunteering together. I think that makes all the difference. It's hard to encourage something (which, I think was the wording you had in your original question) if you aren't taking part in it yourself.

 

It doesn't necessarily have to be the whole family, but could be mother and daughter or mother and son, vice versa.

Just, depending on what your community has to offer, be it Habitat for Humanity (children need to be 16, btw), the local soup kitchen, food bank, or what have you - you could give one or two hours a week - set that time aside for just the two of you (or however many) to do together. Your local organizations will receive a very effective witness watching you (or your husband) be a living example for your children.

 

I am currently trying to encourage my daughter to accompany our church children's choirs for the fall (she's been asked). I appreciate that she is trying to be careful of her academic schedule, and we already do volunteer one day a week somewhere in the community, plus she has other extracurriculars, but this is a good opportunity for leadership for her, though she's not all that confident in her ability and has to practice music a good bit to learn it - and obviously, I can't do it with her, as described above, since I am not a pianist. So, how can I encourage in this case? I guess I just try to tell her often that she is gifted and has learned pieces in the past and try to remind her of how rewarding it was to complete some of these types of things before.

The last time she accompanied the kids' choir (just on a Christmas piece) I did help her at home as much as I could (I do read music) and sang the song as the kids would while she practiced. Just things like that.

I guess it boils down to - you can't just drop them into things, usually; you're still training them and teaching them, even at 16 or whatever, and they'll learn by watching you or working alongside you and be encouraged by your interest in what they are doing.

 

HTH.

Jo