If you don't allow Harry Potter or other books about magic

[KJB]

do you allow books about aliens or extra-terrestrial beings?

 

Is it consistent to disallow one but be OK with the other? Is it that stories about aliens are science-fiction and not fantasy that make them OK?

 

Just curious about this. Don't want a debate about the rightness or wrongness of this viewpoint, just curious if you must disallow both to be consistent.

[klmama]

do you allow books about aliens or extra-terrestrial beings?

 

Is it consistent to disallow one but be OK with the other? Is it that stories about aliens are science-fiction and not fantasy that make them OK?

 

Just curious about this. Don't want a debate about the rightness or wrongness of this viewpoint, just curious if you must disallow both to be consistent.

 

I think it entirely depends on what the parents are trying to avoid. Someone opposed to Harry Potter may allow books about extra-terrestrials because they do not tempt a child to sin by emulating the extra-terrestrial nature of the characters ("Mom, I want to learn how to be ET.") No biggie, right? However, books like Harry Potter, which have witchcraft performed by "good guys" may tempt a child to explore the occult. Parents opposed to that won't let them read them. Does that make sense?

[kdeno]

:001_smile:

[LaxMom]

I don't disallow either, but wouldn't bat an eye over parents finding one genre objectionable, but not another.

 

I suppose some would find it hypocritical; I see it as the parents being informed about the exact nature of what they object to.

[katilac]

I don't understand the potential objections to books about extra-terrestials. Is it because of a belief that God created life only on Earth?

[laughing lioness]

We don't and won't read Harry Potter but we do read a wide variety of other things that include what might be termed "magic," E.T., Sci-fi, etc. I've read a short excerpt from the Potter books and the writing was excellent. I object on other grounds. These books won't be read here. I've talked about my reasons with my kids and they are fine with those reasons. I don't believe that I am being hypocritical though some may think so.

My oldest did not read Eragon, based on personal convictions. My 3rd did and had some issues with it. He continued to read it, however, because he was curious about the author and his writing rather than the book per se-kwim?

I think that it is totally fine to take books on a case by case basis. That's what we do.

[specialmama]

I think it entirely depends on what the parents are trying to avoid. Someone opposed to Harry Potter may allow books about extra-terrestrials because they do not tempt a child to sin by emulating the extra-terrestrial nature of the characters ("Mom, I want to learn how to be ET.") No biggie, right? However, books like Harry Potter, which have witchcraft performed by "good guys" may tempt a child to explore the occult. Parents opposed to that won't let them read them. Does that make sense?

 

 

:iagree: Some exposure to sci-fi is fine, like E.T. or Alf or something rather benign. Oh and to answer the question: we do not allow Harry or any books dealing with (esp. the glorification of) wizardry, spells or demons.

[mrsrevmeg]

I think that the content of the book is what is most important. We do stay away from Harry Potter, but we read Narnia. At our house, we talk about what is happening in the book i.e.- is the "hero" someone who does witchcraft or is it the "villain" doing the black magic? I have been slammed by some friends for this, but right now my kids have no interest in HP. As a matter of fact, my eight year old is terrified of the advertisements for the movies, so they wouldn't be watched even if it were something I approved of.

[Vanna]

We don't and won't read Harry Potter but we do read a wide variety of other things that include what might be termed "magic," E.T., Sci-fi, etc. I've read a short excerpt from the Potter books and the writing was excellent. I object on other grounds. These books won't be read here. I've talked about my reasons with my kids and they are fine with those reasons. I don't believe that I am being hypocritical though some may think so.

My oldest did not read Eragon, based on personal convictions. My 3rd did and had some issues with it. He continued to read it, however, because he was curious about the author and his writing rather than the book per se-kwim?

I think that it is totally fine to take books on a case by case basis. That's what we do.

 

 

Lioness, I couldn't have said it better myself.:iagree:

[Annie N]

do you allow books about aliens or extra-terrestrial beings?

 

Is it consistent to disallow one but be OK with the other? Is it that stories about aliens are science-fiction and not fantasy that make them OK?

 

Just curious about this. Don't want a debate about the rightness or wrongness of this viewpoint, just curious if you must disallow both to be consistent.

I think a lot depends on what your reasons are for not allowing some books. Basically, I try to consider what the writer is saying about humanity and reality rather than the settings alone when making these decisions. For example, I read about some people rejecting the Narnia (and possibly Tolkiens' as well?) books because of the inclusion of magic, but I would say that the magic in those books is more akin to Christian spirituality brought more explicitly into physical terms than is the case in some of the newer magical books.

 

So with other books (and movies), I try to look at and discuss them the same way: what is the writer saying about humanity (even if the "humanity" is from a different planet) and reality? I didn't let them read the Golden Compass books because I heard they were very atheistic in their underlying points of view (I just don't have time to read everything so rely on good opinions of others sometimes!), and there are lots of books in everyday settings (no extra-terrestrials or magic!) that I don't let them read because of the views expressed implicitly or explicitly.

 

Also, as my children get older, they might read something I wouldn't have let them read when they were younger, but I also discuss how what the author is saying fits into how we view the world, with the goal of getting them to do that themselves, to analyze from our world view, so to speak. It kind of drives them crazy sometimes, but, hey! that's what I'm there for!

 

I hope this helps. I don't think there's any inconsistency at all, since I think that most parents are more concerned with the underlying messages than the outer form.

[LUV2EDU]

Some parents will not allow their children to read Harry Potter, but they will allow them to read fairy tales with magic, and sing nursery rhymes with violence.

 

Violent Nursery Rhymes:

 

Rock-a-Bye-Baby, Humpty Dumpty, London Bridge is Falling Down, Jack and Jill, Here we go Round the Mulberry Bush, Ring-around-the-rosie, There Was An Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe, etc.

[asta]

Some parents will not allow their children to read Harry Potter, but they will allow them to read fairy tales with magic, and sing nursery rhymes with violence.

 

Violent Nursery Rhymes:

 

Rock-a-Bye-Baby, Humpty Dumpty, London Bridge is Falling Down, Jack and Jill, Here we go Round the Mulberry Bush, Ring-around-the-rosie, There Was An Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe, etc.

 

:iagree:

[KJB]

I just wonder how you figure out what's Ok if this is your viewpoint.

 

I wonder if aliens with "magical" powers (is it magic or just advanced science or...???) are different than a book with a fantasy world like HP.

 

I am not being critical of the viewpoint, I'd just like to understand it better as we have friends with this view and my daughter wanted to lend a book (Inkheart) to her friend. I stopped her, but I wasn't sure if it would have been OK or not. I really just didn't want to put her Mom on the spot, since I knew she didn't know much about the book, nor do I want to interrogate them on their particular world view.

 

After I stopped my daughter, I found out that the family allowed their kids to see the Return to Witch Mountain and I began to wonder.

 

I agree that probably they take it on a case by case basis (they've seen Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, etc.) There are wizards in LOTR, after all.

 

I just wonder what the litmus test for being acceptable is? I was hoping someone with a similar view could clarify. I don't want to ask my friend because I don't want her to perceive my question as a challenge to their family belief system. I love this family and wouldn't want them to be offended or feel defensive.

 

I realize no one can tell me what my friend's family believes and what they're position is, but I do find it an interesting view and I'd like to better understand.

 

Some of these posts shed light on what their position might be, and I appreciate them very much. Thanks to all!

[SquirrellyMama]

I think the reason some parents do not allow Harry Potter but would allow alien books is the fact that Harry Potter is about witchcraft and from my knowledge of the book puts it in a good light. Most alien books are not about witchcraft and usually have the aliens as the bad guys.

[laughing lioness]

I think that your best bet is to just ask the parents. I think it would show your respect and love for the family to do so.

[hillfarm]

IMO, another important factor that we consider is the age/maturity of our dd. When she was younger, we had to be very cautious about what she read or watched, because (like me) her imagination magnified every story line and those with the slightest hint of "bad" stuff became the stuff of nightmares. BTW, she did not differentiate between cartoon and live action images.

 

Now that she is older, we allow a good deal more than we did before because she is better able to process it. In the future, when she is more grounded in her religious beliefs, I would be open to permitting her to read some of the more magical/fantastical things. To me, the best defense against those things we do not condone is a good education as to what they are and why we are opposed to them. I would much rather she be exposed to this stuff while still living at home so we can discuss it and I can be vigilant regarding the influence such things are having on her. I worry about those kids who have never experienced these things until they get out on their own, where they undoubtedly WILL experience them. Will they have the ability to cut through all the hype and fun and be able to delve into the heart of the matter and evaluate it accurately? IMO, that's asking a lot from an inexperienced young adult.

 

Due to our religious beliefs, we haven't exposed our 10yo dd to occult magic nor science fiction yet. She has seen a little fantasy, but only when she was old enough to be able to separate it from reality. Before she leaves our home, I do expect to cover the occult, more intense fantasy, science fiction, and horror genres so that she will know what they are, what to expect from them, and how that fits into our belief system. But they will be introduced only as she is able to understand them and make intelligent decisions about their influences in her life.

[Starr]

I think all books need previewing if one wants to be sure to approve. :tongue_smilie:

[Vanna]

...:iagree: it's best to ask the parents. There are sooooo many "fine lines" and "venn diagrams" (ie., overlapping but separate categories) when it comes to books, entertainment, etc. that a parent will allow their children to read, listen to, watch.

 

When you ask them, you will be showing that you respect their authority.

 

Hope it goes well.:)

[Peek a Boo]

I think the reason some parents do not allow Harry Potter but would allow alien books is the fact that Harry Potter is about witchcraft and from my knowledge of the book puts it in a good light. Most alien books are not about witchcraft and usually have the aliens as the bad guys.

 

just a point of clarification:

 

HP isn't "about" witchcraft and doesn't necessarily put it in a "good" light. Kinda like A Christmas Carol isn't "about" astral projection or salvation by works ;)

In the HP world, being able to perform magic is simply a genetic trait, and the plot is your basic story of conflict, love, and redemption. People being able to perform magic is just a plot device, not a choice against God.

 

We are avoiding [for now] The Golden Compass and other Pullman books because of the author's stated intentions, not the books themselves.

 

But i do agree to just ask them directly for their own reasons. One thing i do realize is that not every reason needs to be completely understood by other people ;)

[KJB]

 

But i do agree to just ask them directly for their own reasons. One thing i do realize is that not every reason needs to be completely understood by other people ;)

 

Well, this is why I *don't* intend to ask them.

 

It just feels like a judgement to ask "Why will you let the kids watch Star Wars, LOTR, Escape to Witch Mtn., but not xyz?" And of course, what I really want to know is "Are your views consistent? Why some fantasy story lines and not others? And how to you make these decisions anyway?"

 

IMO, these are disrespectful questions better posed to a bunch of strangers on a message board. :lol:

 

I don't want to put this dear woman on the spot. If I were her, and some knucklehead asked me those types of questions about my parenting choices, I'd pass some kind of dip her way or something. :D

 

Nope. I'm satisfied with the answers I've been given here. It's just really food for thought for me. This particular family got me thinking about it, but I don't want to risk making my friend uncomfortable. They don't owe me any explanation.

 

To me, it's kind of like home schooling talk with non-home school people. I was recently at a function where a woman asked repeatedly if I had "researched" any of this home schooling that I was doing (that I've been at for coming up on 8 years, btw, longer than this woman has been a mother) and if I'd thought about my children's future. Ha. I was speechless.

 

I hadn't expected to discuss home schooling (another friend brought it up) and I didn't feel compelled to explain my "research" to some crazy woman at a cocktail party. It still makes me laugh. I don't feel defensive about home schooling, just sometimes a little overwhelmed at the enormity of what it would take to help someone else understand something totally off their radar. And so, I tend to give fluff answers and change the subject.

 

(In this particular case, my dh showed up and she shut up since she knows he's kind of a fancy-pants but didn't know he was with me. All of the sudden it was OK that I home school despite my poor penchant for discussing my research. :D Funny how that works.)

 

I point this story out because likely my friend hasn't prepared a speech on their choice for fools like me. I don't want her to feel like she has to in order to be my friend. Kwim?

 

Anyway, thanks again to all who offered some light.

[LaxMom]

Well, this is why I *don't* intend to ask them.

 

It just feels like a judgement to ask "Why will you let the kids watch Star Wars, LOTR, Escape to Witch Mtn., but not xyz?" And of course, what I really want to know is "Are your views consistent? Why some fantasy story lines and not others? And how to you make these decisions anyway?"

 

IMO, these are disrespectful questions better posed to a bunch of strangers on a message board. :lol:

 

I don't want to put this dear woman on the spot. If I were her, and some knucklehead asked me those types of questions about my parenting choices, I'd pass some kind of dip her way or something. :D

 

 

Huh. Really? I feel no such dilemma in asking my friends about the specifics of how they do/approach things, particularly when they come at life from a distinctly different worldview than I. And, in particular, when I understand the generalities of the thought about something (like Harry Potter objection) but am missing the subtleties that make HP a no-go, but Star Wars perfectly acceptable.

 

I don't think any of them have felt as though I was demanding justification for their choices, or judging their validity; they've always shared their thoughts on the given subject openly. :001_huh: I will have to ask.

[KJB]

Huh. Really?

 

Yep. Really. :D

 

'Cause what if the view someone else holds really is inconsistent or illogical. It's not my place to point that out. If I'm leaning that way, it's probably best to keep my big mouth shut. Live and let live, but secretly try to figure out what the deal is on an internet message board, that's what I always say. :lol:

 

Not that my friend's view necessarily is inconsistent or illogical, btw, but the possibility and the arguments I have for why it might be don't belong in her lap. IMHO.

 

If a view was less controversial (not politics, religion, anything else that causes trouble between friends from different walks of life) or I knew my friend would enjoy a debate, I might bring it up. I try not to talk religion or politics or anything people get emotional about unless I am certain the other person would enjoy the discussion.

 

Perhaps, you've had better experiences when asking friends about these types of topics. I've just seen them spiral into bad feelings too many times to go there with a woman I really like.

[Happy]

I think the reason some parents do not allow Harry Potter but would allow alien books is the fact that Harry Potter is about witchcraft and from my knowledge of the book puts it in a good light. Most alien books are not about witchcraft and usually have the aliens as the bad guys.

 

usually have aliens as bad guys???

 

Uh, no.

 

Spock, Yoda, or Teal'c as a bad guy? No way. ;)

 

So, here's a question is Star Wars a sci-fi story or a fantasy story?

 

It's sci-fi to me, but I can see where someone could put it into a fantasy catagory.

 

Interesting thread.