lynn Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 in this economy when they are just about to retire. I am talking a very bad decision. They will not listen to reason because we are just kids after all but this is a serious mistake they will never recover from Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 in this economy when they are just about to retire. I am talking a very bad decision. They will not listen to reason because we are just kids after all but this is a serious mistake they will never recover from I'd ask them to consider going to two financial advisors of their own choosing and perhaps one that you got reccommendations for, then make their choice after they've had professional input. You can't really make them do anything....sigh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Well, what CAN you do really? I'd probably make my stand and then make sure they knew that we could not afford to bail them out if their finances come crashing down. Beyond that, I don't think it's really under your control :( I'm sorry. I hope it turns out to be better than you think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 My mom & stepdad make lots of really stupid financial decisions. I let her know why I think they are a mistake and then back off to let her do as she pleases, which she does. Her reasoning always boils down to this: this may be the last ___ I ever have because I'm old. Basically, I fully expect that at some point I'll be supporting her completely with her living in my house. And then I really will have say in financial decisions because it will be my money and not hers. I don't see that I have any other alternative. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.J. at J.A. Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Dave Ramsey calls it the "Powdered Butt Syndrome." Whereas, they powdered your butt and so you are not qualified to give advice...even if you are an adult now. I know how you're feeling. Blessings, Angela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 I'd ask them to consider going to two financial advisors of their own choosing and perhaps one that you got reccommendations for, then make their choice after they've had professional input. You can't really make them do anything....sigh! :iagree: I'd see if they would listen to advice from a neutral party. If not, there's not much you can do :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Assuming that they are of sound mind and body and that it's really their decision to make ..... and assuming that "never recover" means "poor and without a home" not just "not as rich as they could have been." I might consider writing a letter telling them exactly why it's a bad decision, why you care, and how much you love them. Short but cover those things. And I might write that I am going to keep a copy of the letter in my file so that when they are living with the results of their bad decisions, I can remind myself that it's not my job to rescue them from the consequences of their decisions. I know that sounds like a bit much to people. I do believe that what adults do with their money is their decision. But I am in that sandwich generation that spends a lot of time dealing with aging parents as well as children, and I know now that, in many ways, I benefit from and also suffer from my parent's decisions. Mostly benefit, in my case, but there are things they do that just make me want to cry sometimes. So I think if you are sure it's a bad decision that will leave them financially desperate, I would write a letter telling them how worried I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Give them advice and be prepared to pick up the pieces. My parents in law were millionaires at one point, but bad decisions (against which both their sons advised them) have left them penniless. It makes me angry, but I am learning to cope. We help support them in a nursing home now. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 My mom & stepdad make lots of really stupid financial decisions. I let her know why I think they are a mistake and then back off to let her do as she pleases, which she does. Her reasoning always boils down to this: this may be the last ___ I ever have because I'm old. Basically, I fully expect that at some point I'll be supporting her completely with her living in my house. And then I really will have say in financial decisions because it will be my money and not hers. I don't see that I have any other alternative. :grouphug:That is my situation as well. I have to here about her selling things or saving and worrying about paying for a surgery (that is a really inexpensive welfare co-pay) and then she goes on vacation 2 weeks later. Arrrrrrrgghhhhhhh! And she talks about the inevitable moving in with me and actually started making plans to do so! It was a huge blow up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Google Clark Howard. He's the nicest guy who has a long running money show on the radio. Get his advice. He's awesome. Alicia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Katia Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I don't think there is anything you can do. They are adults and they can make their own financial decisions. You can, however, give them the support of your love. I think of it this way: My dh and I made the decision to homeschool our children. Our parents were very much against it and they KNEW without a doubt that we were ruining their lives. But, they were our children and it was our decision to make. I told them they made their decisions with us and we would make our decisions with our dc and if they were ruined; then so be it. I would have much preferred that they supported us in our decision and had faith in our ability to make those decisions for ourselves. (be they right or wrong) Same thing goes with parent's decisions; money or otherwise. You don't have to agree with it, but it's not your decision to make. You need to let them make their own decisions and then let them live with the results, just as our parents have had to live with the results of our homeschooled children. You can still love them. FWIW: My mil is terrible with money and has made bad financial decision after bad financial decision, to the point where she sold my dh's inheritance to get herself out of debt.....just to go into debt again. Now dh has no inheritance. It was land. Family land that had been in the family for generations and it was specifically for *him*. He had planned to retire there. Now, he has nothing. But, he still loves his mother. They have a terrific relationship. He's never mentioned it to her. He says their relationship is more important than money or 'things'. (Have I mentioned that I have a great dh?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LNC Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 (edited) My mom is in her 70's. I can relate too. :( Edited February 18, 2009 by LNC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon H in IL Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 See if they will consent to speak with a financial advisor. Sometimes someone with letters behind his/her name whose butt they never powdered will have more weight than the offspring. Good luck. I frequently hear from my Dad about all the sad mistakes he has made and all the great ideas he has for throwing more money away next. I've decided to tune him out or change the subject. When he is destitute I will give him shelter, but it will be hard on both of us. sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Tell them your concerns... but after that, there isn't anything you can do. We've gone through this scenario three times with my in-laws... and right now we're praying their latest endeavor doesn't bust. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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