Kelli in TN Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Things are really, really good between the spouse and me. I mean, it's a good strong marriage anyway, but you know those hills and valleys? Well, just put us up on the mountain top. I am enamored with him, he is blindly enamored with me...romance is in the air and all that jazz. So why is that I woke up in the dark hours of the morning from a dream that he broke my heart? It was so very real. I could feel, taste, smell the dream. In fact I woke up when he rolled over and slung his arm around me. I turned around and said "promise me, promise me, promise me, that everytime my heart is broken I will wake up and find it was all a bad dream" Of course he did promise me that and I believe him 100%, but I just hate those kind of dreams. Once I dreamed that my now 17 year old drowned in our swimming pool when she as 3, it was so real that I could feel the water on my skin and the panic in my heart. It was 14 years ago and I still feel the panic when I think about it. So, do you dream like that or am I a crazy woman? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutor Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I've had these dreams, too. My dh has had them as well. The best part about them is the snuggling reassurance we give each other when we wake up and talk about the nightmare. You are by no means crazy. (Or maybe we're just both crazy. LOL) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I do have very occasional dreams like that, but that doesn't mean you're not a crazy woman! But yeah, I've had very realistic dreams, and sometimes they're about my dh and I've found myself punching him and not speaking to him until he promised me it wasn't true. He doesn't like that so much..... And I don't think it means anything untoward. In fact, it's probably the opposite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2legomaniacs Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I have very vivid crazy dreams. I have had them my whole life. I will wake up in the morning and be a tad crabby to dh only to realize that his alter-ego dream self was the offender, not his real self. LOL! He thinks it is kind of funny that his dream self gets his real self in "trouble" sometimes! Some are very disturbing and I wonder why my brain would possibly go there while I am sleeping. My little guy also has vivid dreams like I do. And sweetie, we're all a tad crazy or else we couldn't call ourselves human! Personally, I'll take a tad crazy any day. I think I am more interesting that way!:D But you're not off the charts crazy or anything. Nor am I or Tutor either. We're just wired to keep on going during the night. Unfortunately, those wires get all crossed and mixed up thus creating wacky scenarios! That's kind of what I think, anyway! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 For me, I believe there's a hormonal component to those dreams. I haven't had one in a very long time, but when I had them a little more regularly, I finally noticed a pattern to them. Perhaps noting them on the calendar would give you a bit of warning? ... And no, I've never had any reason to distrust dh in any way, I'm not naturally suspicious or jealous in that way... But man those dreams hurt! And the worst for me is that sometimes those angry/hurt feelings linger for a couple of hours, even though I know they're totally irrational and have *nothing* to do with real life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted February 20, 2008 Author Share Posted February 20, 2008 I've had these dreams, too. My dh has had them as well. The best part about them is the snuggling reassurance we give each other when we wake up and talk about the nightmare. You are by no means crazy. (Or maybe we're just both crazy. LOL) Well, yes, he did his level best to reassure me!!;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted February 20, 2008 Author Share Posted February 20, 2008 For me, I believe there's a hormonal component to those dreams. I haven't had one in a very long time, but when I had them a little more regularly, I finally noticed a pattern to them. Perhaps noting them on the calendar would give you a bit of warning? ... And no, I've never had any reason to distrust dh in any way, I'm not naturally suspicious or jealous in that way... But man those dreams hurt! And the worst for me is that sometimes those angry/hurt feelings linger for a couple of hours, even though I know they're totally irrational and have *nothing* to do with real life. Yes, the man is above reproach in every way. I know where he is every second of every day, not because I spy on him, but because he tells me where he is all the time! And I know he loves me, there is nothing suspicious. I know it was a completely random dream. And he is a fabulous husband. I can complain about some things, but I cannot complain about his love and faithfulness towards me. There is no basis for these weird dreams. But the hurt is so real when you wake up!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whisperlily Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I agree about the hormone component. I occasionally have dreams like you're describing during normal times, but I had them *regularly* while pregnant. They were usually about something really personal, DH breaking my heart, or something horrible happening to one of my children. When pregnant, they also included someone trying to harm my baby, or something happening to me which harmed the baby. Always something to do with powerful emotions, which leads me even more to think there might be a hormone link. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doran Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 For awhile there, I had recurring nightmares. They were at their worst when my children were very small -- I was still nursing the youngest -- and I was pretty darn fried by life in general. My dreams always ended before I could define WHAT was after me, but in general, I'd awaken (in the dream) expecting to find my dear husband in bed next to me only to find that he'd been replaced by IT. It sounds kind of silly in print here, but I tell you it was terrifying to me. Once I was awakened by a particularly loud clap of thunder in the midst of this dream and found myself in the middle of a dreamscream..the kind where you can't make any noise and it kills you because you need to scream. Another time, same dream, I leapt from the bed and ended up standing in the living room before I realized what I was doing. Okay, so clearly you are not as crazy as I am. Dreams intrigue me, and I've read a bit about them here and there. What I think is important to remember is that dreams aren't meant to be taken literally. They represent some part of our lives, but not necessarily the part that seems to show up in the dream. So, for example, the dream you just had where you felt betrayed by your husband -- maybe you're feeling that way in some other area of your life right now, and the dream is there to help you sort out those feelings? Maybe it has to do with the recent situation with Bekah? Here's a page that might help you make some connections. Hope you sleep more happily tonight! I could recommend a really nice...um...lead in to a happy snooze, but something tells me you don't need my suggstions. :p Doran Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I agree about the hormone component. I occasionally have dreams like you're describing during normal times, but I had them *regularly* while pregnant. While pregnant with my oldest, I dreampt that he popped his head out of the front of my belly, scowled at one of our friends (a guy who often annoyed us) and then ducked back inside. It was strangely realistic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockermom Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 It's common for me to wake up with dh saying "I'm mad at you. You left me for so and so in my dream." He's joking about being angry, but I believe everyone has dreams like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutor Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I have very vivid crazy dreams. I have had them my whole life. I will wake up in the morning and be a tad crabby to dh only to realize that his alter-ego dream self was the offender, not his real self. LOL! He thinks it is kind of funny that his dream self gets his real self in "trouble" sometimes! My dh will be happy to know he's not the only one who gets in trouble for his dream-side alter ego's missteps. LOL! There are times I have been short with him during the day, and he's had to say to me, "Wait until you're asleep and yell at dream me. Awake me loves you and caused you no offense." LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkInTheBlue Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 My husband and I have both had these dreams and woke each other up for hugs and reassurances. We also have an incredible marriage and are madly, hopelessly in love. :) I had a horrible dream last night and, fortunately, all I can remember is that I was so traumatized that I literally couldn't cry hard enough. It was horrible but I can't remember it. My "normal" nightmares are either one of my kids drowns or is hurt or for some unimaginable reason I'm being forced to leave my wonderful husband and go back to my ex. I'm crying and begging whoever or whatever is making me go back not to make me do it. FORTUNATELY, I have had that one in several years. I hate nightmares but I'm so glad I don't have them often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa at Home Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 And for me, I kind of feel that when things are going *really* well, that there is a deep seated fear of losing that wonderful and amazing thing. I almost lost dh a few years ago, and it was a pretty traumatic thing. So, for me, it's a subconscious fear pf loss. (((Hugs))) to you. I know how real the dreams can feel, and the emotion they leave behind. ~Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 I seldom remember my dreams, but yes, I have occasionally had a very real, very scary dream such as that. It was generally when I was under some degree of stress, such as preparing for a big trip overseas, or stressing over my parents, or sleep deprived over a new baby, etc. Regena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancypants Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Yes, I dream like that... Of course I dream that I'm unfaithful too and I hate those just as much! LOL Well... you know what I mean I think. I also have dreamt several times that my children have drowned. I know my mother has too. You sound perfectly normal to me... even though I know I'm not perfectly normal when it comes to sleep as I have a sleep disorder that includes frequent insomnia and night terrors... but these only become prominent and regularly occurring during times of stress; moves, death in the family, pregnancy, etc... But when they happen I get them on a repeating basis for weeks on end... at the same exact time to the minute by the clock to boot (which begins feeling really psycho after a while as you might imagine!) :eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda in NE Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 The one I have most often as an adult is a dream, really a series of dreams, that have the common theme that I never met my husband. I can recall other people/events in my life, but I don't know him. He's not even really in the dreams. I'm just living my life, and he's just not there. There's no upset or sense of loss, because he was never there. Kind of like "It's a Wonderful Life" except I'm George Bailey's wife. As I child, I would dream that I was in my house, and I felt the need to run. I would run from my room, down the hall, across the living room, and out the front door. As I ran across the farm yard towards my grandmother's house with my arms spread wide to the sides, I would take flight. The ground would recede, and I could seen the roofs of my parents' house, my grandmother's house, and the barn. I would just keep flying, and wake up in the clouds. Here's a question for you. Have you ever spoken to yourself in the midst of a dream? When I'm having a horrific nightmare, I can often hear my own voice telling myself, "You're alright. You can wake up now, and it will all be gone." Strange. Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 When I have nightmares it's like something out of a Stephen King novel. You guys are getting off easy. Mine have hooded figures and creepy stuff. I've had one where the kids were hurt. I'll take demon nightmares anytime over that, it was awful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 I've had nightmares for about 3 out of the last 7 nights. And, no enamored man to sling his arm over me. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancypants Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Here's a question for you. Have you ever spoken to yourself in the midst of a dream? When I'm having a horrific nightmare, I can often hear my own voice telling myself, "You're alright. You can wake up now, and it will all be gone." Strange. Linda Yes, I remember doing that once or twice. I've also had "dweams wiffin dweams" (to quote the priest on The Princess Bride :D ) where I dream that someone is attacking me/breaking and entering and then I wake up (in my room) but find the dream is still going and then I wake up and find the dream is still going. I had this happen in three layers once and I woke up in hysterics, screaming for my husband! LOL Poor guy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momo4 Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 I have had a couple of those lately. Such a terrible feeling! I even woke up crying during one of them. I think they are brought on because as we get older I notice how it looks so much better on him than me! Not fair. He just keeps getting handsomer and I just keep getting old.:( I give him a hard time after those dreams too. I guess he probably likes them as little as I do.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Can't think of the last time I had a bad dream ~ or a good one, for that matter. I rarely even remember what I dream. Just another advantage to taking very little sleep: when you're out, you're really out.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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