Cruising as an autistic adult…

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

I’m getting old(and more ingrained in my autism ways, I think).

Here we are on this cruise and I thought DH would hate it, but he’s rather content(not all of these personality changes are bad), in fact.  It’s freezing cold and not really expected to be a lot warmer where we are going, but he’s happily sitting on the balcony.

I am losing my mind though. It is so loud. So. Loud. And so many bright colors.  We wound up not being able to eat in most of the specialty restaurants because they are filled with things I’m deadly allergic to and DH, with whatever is going on, is barely eating a meal a day right now so it just seems wasted to spend the money. 
 

I remember loving cruises, but I also remember being 25 and partying all night and exploring Hawaiian volcanos. Now I am sitting in the card room hoping someone brought games, because I remember there being chess and checkers and cards before, but there are none. And the library had five books. Fortunately I paid for internet and I have the kindle app on my phone. 
First world problems, I know lol.  But I need a sensory friendly cruise. 🤣

[Faith-manor]

54 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

I’m getting old(and more ingrained in my autism ways, I think).

Here we are on this cruise and I thought DH would hate it, but he’s rather content(not all of these personality changes are bad), in fact.  It’s freezing cold and not really expected to be a lot warmer where we are going, but he’s happily sitting on the balcony.

I am losing my mind though. It is so loud. So. Loud. And so many bright colors.  We wound up not being able to eat in most of the specialty restaurants because they are filled with things I’m deadly allergic to and DH, with whatever is going on, is barely eating a meal a day right now so it just seems wasted to spend the money. 
 

I remember loving cruises, but I also remember being 25 and partying all night and exploring Hawaiian volcanos. Now I am sitting in the card room hoping someone brought games, because I remember there being chess and checkers and cards before, but there are none. And the library had five books. Fortunately I paid for internet and I have the kindle app on my phone. 
First world problems, I know lol.  But I need a sensory friendly cruise. 🤣

I get it. We change as we go through life. I would have loved it in my 20s. But I have never been on a cruise before, and no matter how great I am told it is, it sounds like misery to me. I do much better in nature, in quiet, among a limited number of humans at a time. I used to be such a people person, so outgoing. Bam. Not anymore!

[PeterPan]

Your first cruise (back, as an adult, hehe) is a learning cruise. You're learning what *you* need in order to be comfortable. Did you bring earplugs or headphones? Where is it loud? Out on the balcony? In the dining rooms? We can problem solve this with you, but just know the next one might go better with what you learn from the first one. And anything the dh is willing to do is a WIN!

1 hour ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

freezing cold

-ask your cabin attendant for blankets, LOTS of them. I've started doing this instead of taking a weighted blanket for ds. They should have king size fleece blankets, so don't let them skimp on the smaller size. Ask for 2-4, however many you want! 

-Go to the gift shop and buy yourself some clothes!! You're on vacation. Buy a sweatshirt and a hat.

-Go to the coffee shop and buy a specialty drink to warm you. They will have swanky teas, including decaf, high end coffees, hot chocolate, whatever you want.

-Grab free hot chocolate on the lido and bolster it with CREAM from the coffee station. Pro tip, haha. Ask me how I know. Dump enough cream in and that cheap hot chocolate will be DELISH.

-Go to the spa!!! Have you been to the spa yet? They should have a "relaxation lounge" that is technically free to go in. And often cruise lines will put at least a sauna in the locker rooms that are included. So if there's a paid thermal suite, that is separate. Ask for a tour so you can realize what you can do for free. Me, I always take a spa pass, and I LIVE in the spa. We did a cruise to Norway last year, and I was in there 3-4 times a day!!! So see what you can find.

-The adult only area of the ship will have the hottest hot tubs. 

-Are you on a FB group for the cruise? Post on there and see if anyone has more ideas or some clothing to loan you. A vest or a thin layering shirt would go a long way. People will be happy to help you if you ASK!!! 

1 hour ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

I am losing my mind though. It is so loud. So. Loud. And so many bright colors.  

-Go to the spa. You can read in the relaxation lounge and the won't kick you out. 

-Consider booking a massage. Does input calm your system? Get a massage every day then! They usually do discounts like 30-40% off when you book three, so book three. Whatever calms your system is what you need to do.

-Ear plugs, noise canceling headphones. Did you bring any? Again, ask on the FB group for the cruise. They might also sell ear plugs in the shops on the ship. If they don't, go ask at guest services or the clinic. 

-Do you take prescriptions for anxiety? Go to the clinic and ask for something. That's what they're there for. They aren't as expensive as you think. 

-You need some help to find the QUIET places on the ship. They're there. Do you have the deck plans? ASK ON THE FB GROUP!!! Once you get to know how ships work, it's easy to find the super quiet places. You're allowed to go through any door that isn't locked or labeled saying you can't. You can pop out the very front of the ship. There are often lower deck promenades that are very quiet. Sometimes there are side areas near the theater. If you want to post what ship you're on, I'll look at the deck plans and make suggestions. 🙂

-Look for the adult only areas. Those tend to have quieter music and less bustle.

-Ask the maitre d for a quieter table. Seriously, they can get you a table tucked off way in some corner, away from the bustle. You just have to ask.

-The ship may have a game room or library. They may have an art room that is unused during the day. Often the bars that have music in the evenings are completely quiet during the day, so ironically going to a BAR can be the best way to get some peace.

1 hour ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

filled with things I’m deadly allergic to

You need to have a chat with the maitre d and chef IMMEDIATELY. They can solve this for you, but they can't help you till you ASK. You can go right now, in the middle of the day or any time, and they will attend to you. They will clean the grills and have the chef personally cook your food (omeletes, anything) so there is no chance of contamination. The specialty dining should be doing the same thing. So go talk with them and say what you need. I'm not sure what cruise line you're on. If you're on MSC, yeah prepare for poor service. I was going to say prepare to die, haha. But yeah, MSC's service is sketchy. But Carnival and anyone better is going to take good care of you. Have you asked and they aren't making it happen? Any specialty restaurant should be able to bring you food from the REGULAR menus as well. So your gut is right that eating in specialty tends to be quieter, good call there. But if you want the boring regular food, just ASK!!! They can totally bring it. They can't help you if you don't ask.

1 hour ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

DH, with whatever is going on, is barely eating a meal a day right now

Aw, poor thing. Is he stressed? Maybe take him cookies on the balcony or order him room service. You're not there for the food. You're there to be together, and reality is some people don't eat when they're stressed/anxious. Would he like smoothies? Ships have *virgin* versions of drinks, so you might try to find something pleasing for him. They usually also have a high end ice cream shop that can make yummy shakes. Whatever is his love language.

1 hour ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

Now I am sitting in the card room hoping someone brought games,

Again, you're going to want to connect on the FB group for the cruise. Sometimes those people play on the lido (the buffet). I hope you find some people to hang with! You can even ask about a singles group and do things with them if your dh is pretty set on his sit on the balcony plan and isn't coming out much.

There isn't a wrong way to cruise. If he wants to sit on the balcony and you want to be out doing things, cool. Do what you need to do to be happy and let him do what works for him. If you like the spa, it might be worth the money. I LOVE the spa, oh my. What ship are you on? 

Ok, are you a people motivated person? I am, so one thing I do to have fun when I cruise is to do *shared tables* for the meals. You're probably eating with your dh for dinner, but lunch and breakfast you could go exploring. I like to go to the gym then go to the MDR (sit down meal) sea day brunch. LOVE this, yum yum. And I put a shared table and plan to spend a couple hours. That gets me some friends, so then I have someone to hang with or say hi to when walking around. Works for me. Some ships serve lunch as well, so same deal, shared tables to make friends.

Do you like puzzles? There may be a group doing puzzles. Maybe next time you make more of a plan. We've done multiple transatlantics, etc. with lots of sea days, so I always make plans. I take things to read, catch up on my Bible reading, work out, walk a lot on the walking decks, go to lectures, go to classes. I did dance classes on my last cruise, so that filled up much of my day! They had 2-3 a day and some ships have even more! Don't even ask how horrific my motor planning is and how long it took, haha. I had fun and that's what I was there for. I made friends. 

My first cruise I HATED the food and struggled to connect with things. There's just a learning curve. Think about what you like and try some new things. Ask for help on the things you're struggling with. Ask for help to find quiet areas!!! Go exploring. Report back and tell us what you find. If you tell us the name of the ship, maybe we'll have more ideas.

Now I say all that, and I will say that Royal Caribbean (is that what you're on?) has the most profanity inducing, obnoxious approach to music in the public spaces I've ever heard. HORRIBLE music. We were on an Oasis class ship, and the bands in the public area were like screeching owls. They started the music at 6am and it seemed directionless and joyless. It was HORRIFIC. In fact, it was so bad that after we do the Royal cruise we're booked on for this year we probably won't book them again. I may change my mind, but I doubt it. They are truly a sensory nightmare, which BLOWS MY MIND because Autism on the Seas uses them. I don't know how. Total sensory nightmare. 

So if you're on Royal, again problem solve. There are quieter areas and you can wear ear plugs. Do you have noise canceling headphones? they may sell them in the gift shops!!! And a lot of ships now have sensory inclusion bags that yu can get at guest services. Those will have headphones in them. Lowly Carnival does (woo woo!!) so I assume Royal does also. 

On the Oasis class ship we were on, the quietest place was the aft of the ship on the promenade deck. There were a few chairs, and as long as the rumbling of the azipods didn't bother you it was otherwise blissfully quiet. I lost quiet a bit of weight that cruise because I kept going down there to walk. Their shows are a nightmare too but there are tricks for that. 

[PeterPan]

Btw, I seem to recall us talking cruising and me suggesting an interior cabin. The balcony, as fun as it is, is not as peaceful as an interior cabin. My ds LOVES them. You're just totally cocooned at that point. Maybe save some money next time and go interior. You just book it carefully, as in close to the stairs, so you can pop out and be outside for your dh. Interior cabins are the ultimate sensory break. Otherwise, massage and spa services.

[PeterPan]

1 hour ago, Faith-manor said:

I do much better in nature, in quiet, among a limited number of humans at a time

I just took my extremely introvert friend on a cruise. It was her 2nd time, and I think she had more fun than the first time a few years ago. Introverts and people who need extra quiet have to work extra hard to find their places. It's true there's a lot going on on the ships! 

[PeterPan]

Ok, we can talk about how much Royal sucks. The big ships have this central area and they put the band askew in the middle with speakers blasting music. So not only is it loud, but the sound is uneven!!! You literally stand in spots and have it hitting you multiple ways, multiple times, all out of sync. It's the most idiotic thing. 

Are you on the Icon? Why was I think you booked it? I've watched the videos and it's crazy. They have a dog so go ask to pet the dog. And there are some ways to get quiet. Pro tip? Go walk the halls. You can just walk up and down the halls. Look at the signs on the doors, say high to people. When you pop out the aft, you'll come out to some areas that at odd times of day will be quiet. 

But yeah, Royal is a nightmare for me. You'd think Carnival would be, but they have more contrast. Where they're loud, they're loud. Where they intend to be more peaceful, they actually are. Carnival I can survive. Royal was just EAR TORTURE. And we're booked to go on Royal again one more time, grr, 14 days. The cookies are good and I lost a good amount of weight walking. Spa sucked. They heat the water for the slides, so that was good.

Make the best of it. It could be you try a different cruise line next time. Or find what works for you. Royal keeps a hot tub open 24 hours, at least one, which is unusual. Do you feel better or more regulated when you sit in a hot tub? What makes you feel good? that's what you need to be doing. If you hit that hot tub at 11pm, it will be quiet. 

Edited May 4 by PeterPan

[HomeAgain]

I am so sorry.  I just looked up a picture of the Icon and dh and I both immediately noped out.  It would be sensory overload for me.  When we went on a cruise, we took advantage of going to everything at less busy hours.  We sat in the bar at 9am with our coffee.  We ate in the buffet at 10am and 2pm.  It made dinner in the large restaurant more manageable.  We never once made it to the pool on deck, but we walked outside around 10pm when it was much quieter.

 

I hope the rest of the cruise goes well for you.  Do talk to the staff about your allergies!  It can make a big difference.

[KSera]

2 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

But I need a sensory friendly cruise. 🤣

Surely there must be somewhere doing them?? I’ve never found the idea of a cruise at all appealing, but now even less so! PeterPan gave a lot of helpful ideas for someone who already finds them self on one, but after reading all that, I think that seals the deal that I’m never going on one 🤣. That sounds like a lot of work to take a vacation!

 

I hope you can find some of those quiet areas and enjoy the rest of your time.

[SKL]

Are you arctic or antarctic?  Just curious!

I stay away from most of the shared spaces, except to grab some food at the buffet, or occasionally to watch a show that appeals to my tastes.

I do recommend a spa visit if you can manage it.

I wouldn't be surprised if some company does offer sensory cruises.  😛  For a small fee!

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

So we are on Royal Caribbean—but not Icon. We sailed out of NJ which is why it’s so cold lol.

I sailed Princess and Norwegian before so the music just seemed a lot less. The music is a lot. DH has some significant neurological issues going on. He is no longer eating much due to that—which really makes the specialty dining not worth it.  The food seems okay though and they didn’t make fun of my autism needing a grilled cheese lol.

The library is in a hallway overlooking the promenade.  It is such busy and noisy with about six books.  I went to the card room and hung out there a while. I have lots of books on my kindle so that worked. I was disappointed that they didn’t actually have cards or chess or checkers games though.

DH is having a great time.  I was sure he’d hate it but he’s having some dramatic personality changes and this seems to be exactly what the new person he is now loves. So I will take that and try to stem this sensory nightmare with my noise cancelling AirPods. 

The spa is honestly way beyond my budget and I am trying to keep things like specialty espressos low.  When I booked this over a year ago, we had no idea what was hurtling our way and the money I had saved for things onboard is now needed for medical bills and making up for his reduced work hours.  and that’s fine but it’s limited me a bit more than I’d expected to.

I just need to regulate this sensory wise or I’m going to go crazy—but DH is happy and relaxed and that is everything right now.  He’s having such a great time he wants to book another cruise to take the kids on right now.

Edited May 4 by Mrs Tiggywinkle Again

[PeterPan]

3 hours ago, HomeAgain said:

Icon

Yeah, Royal is going even further with the Utopia, making it for short cruises, which means it's just going to be a frenetic hot mess. 

1 hour ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

I sailed Princess and Norwegian before so the music just seemed a lot less. The music is a lot. 

Princess and NCL are granny cruises, sorry. You changed vibes, changed demographics. Princess is the upscale of Carnival, so it would be more comparable to Celebrity sort of. (Celebrity looks more $$ but still.) NCL is, from what I've heard, very quiet. And yes Royal's approach to music is awful, just a cacophany. And their philosophy is different too. Carnival is very elgalitarian, everyone equal, so people are TOGETHER in shared spaces unless they want to be QUIET in separate spaces. Royal is different in the way they spread people out. It's snazzy to have so many loungers, but it just makes for a very noisy experience. I think it's possible you're just on the wrong cruise. Like I said, we have one more booked and we're probably done. We love Carnival and survive MSC. At some point we'll probably try Holland America. (They do some long itineraries that are good values.) 

2 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

The spa is honestly way beyond my budget

Are you on Symphony or Liberty? Symphony is what we were on, sigh, and the spa is not particularly worth the money. I'm trying to remember if they had a free component in the locker rooms. If you're on Liberty, you may be in luck. See if they have free things in the women's locker room. The locker rooms are for anyone to use, including if you just want a nice spacious shower. Symphony is a jip though, because they charge you all that money and have no thermal pool. They have a few loungers, a steam room, an infrared room. Huge let down for such a massive, otherwise nice ship. If you like the spa you want MSC. See what they're sailing out of NYC but some MSC ships have UNBELIEVABLE spas. And you can pay for Aurea and get it included or pay a nominal fee ($149 for the week for once a day or $250 for the week for unlimited). Their ship the Virtuosa had a MINDBOGGLING spa. 

That's what I'm saying that you start to realize what you want. MSC I don't trust farther than I can throw, but they have excellent pizza and a crazy thing for spas. Best at sea on some of the ships. 

Swim the opposite of where everyone else is going. In the mornings, you can pop out those aft decks to see on the chairs near the rock climbing walls. Go when there are *not* shows to sit and watch. The walking track on deck 5 (?) wraps around the back of the aqua theatre, so it can be an intriguing walk. Just explore and pop through places.

The bird noises in the Central Park are tacky and disruptive. It's probably my least favorite ship design because you're so disconnected from the sea. My favorite spot was on the very top of the ship LATE at night, under the arch connecting the two middle pool/beach sections. There are some benches there that are nice when they turn off their terrible music. 

Have you see the elevator musician yet? He's fun. Have you gone to the shows? I went to each multiple times and would sit in different places to get a different perspective. It was just me, so I could usually sneak in and find a single seat. The performers in their shows are PHENOMENAL. That and the cookies are the only good things on the ship. The food in the mexican restaurant was bunk. Have you see the beans being heated in plastic bags?!?! What an abomination. Disgusting. People think Royal is so chic but I, well whatever. 

It's possible that the problem is not the noise even. The staff are STRESSED on the ship. It's how Royal handles complaints and staff and it just creates this very negative vibe. You may be feeling something more than the noise even. The vibe on Carnival is totally different--the staff are HAPPY.  So maybe do some separation and say their attitude is not yours, their stress is not yours, etc. I had a few nice employees on the 14 days we were on Symphony, but there was a lot more frowning, a lot more workers who were scurrying and worried. It was just a really negative thing to me that made it not as fun. It could be getting to you if you're sensitive to that. I definitely am. I have a person on hospice right now and my whole system is shutting down. (bowels, energy, evrything) Sometimes I take a med to help with that and sometimes I just talk to myself really straight. 

Ok, let's flip this. Do you have earbuds that play music? You could play positive music, something that makes you feel good. So replace their horrible taste in music with something better. 

2 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

noise cancelling AirPods. 

Sounds like a good plan!! Embrace it. This is your vacation too. Put on an epic playlist you find uplifting and play it a LOT. Ignore everyone who is snooty and find random people to smile at.

2 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

He’s having such a great time he wants to book another cruise to take the kids on right now.

Well check out holland america, princess, NCL, MSC. I'm not sure if you'd like Carnival. I feed on the crazy and the sensory is an ok mix for me. MSC can sometimes have unbelievable prices if you book ahead, and some of their ships have stunning spas that will make your millenium. 

2 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

I was disappointed that they didn’t actually have cards or chess or checkers games though.

People tend to bring games anymore. Sometimes they're really involved. At least you can get a deck of cards and do some solitaire or canasta. Or ask on the FB group if anyone has anything. I got my ds a travel chess board and he always has it as an app on his phone. The teen/kid clubs will have games and they might let you borrow. 

2 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

grilled cheese

They should have this on a kid menu as well, so you should be able to get it anywhere. If you tell them you have a thing for something and really like it, they can bring it to you every night at dinner. 🙂

2 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

I just need to regulate

Ok, I'm just going to read into something or extrapolate, all of which could be off base. It could be that in the past you've regulated a certain way but that the changes with your dh have changed the strategies and options available to you. So maybe part of what you're dealing with is grief. Maybe find a quiet spot to rest (the relaxation lounge in the spa, just ask if you can sit in there!) and do some body scanning. See what you're really feeling and what the real problem is. Scan multiple times a day. Then do something grounding in between like taking a shower and tapping or sitting in the hot tub. Then body scan again. Every time you do that, you're getting some of that stability and EF bump and activating that interoception part of your brain to help you feel better. 

It's ok to grieve and go through the stages of grief. Whatever is going on probably involves partly that. Do you like WIND? I love wind. It's a little hard to find on Symphony because of all the high areas, so you may have to sneak a bit. Sometimes in the middle up high. Sometimes aft and around the tenders on the walking deck. Wind is very intense sensory and it's free. Are you open to using equipment in the gym? Weights are organizing and it can be as simple as picking up some dumbells and carrying them around. You can also STOMP your feet.

It's not your imagination that the ships are just a cacophany of noise. That central area that people like so much is just a horrific jumble. MSC does that too on some of their ships. Carnival is so peaceful, and you can drift from section to section at night, hearing different music. MSC is fine on their old style ships, but the new ones that have the central avenue the way Symphony does are that same horrible noise jumble. Some people love it, but not me.

 

Are you going down to Bermuda? Hopefully it will get warm for you soon! 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

I tried the solarium but it’s closed. The weather isn’t great and it’s cold but that will probably change.

I think you’ve hit on that I’m trying to adjust. DH has long hated live music. Suddenly he loves it and wants to sit listening to it here for hours. Which is great; he’s happy, but I can’t handle this much of it lol.

We are on liberty.  There aren’t as many shows as I was hoping but since DH suddenly loves shows too we are going to as many as we can. 

I think I liked my granny cruises lol.  I’m just very disoriented right now.

 

[PeterPan]

3 hours ago, KSera said:

but after reading all that, I think that seals the deal that I’m never going on one 🤣. That sounds like a lot of work to take a vacation!

Oh that's hilarious!! For me, cruising is the ultimate relaxation. Land vacations are so much work. When I cruise, even if I have Mr. Pain in the Butt being a pain the butt, I still get a complete break. They do the laundry, the cleaning, the driving, the worrying. My biggest worry is what to stuff in my gullet next and whether I want to sleep or do something active. 

You're reading all that, but that represents strategies I've done on lots of different cruises, not one, kwim? I was throwing out the kitchen sink, partly for ideas and partly to agree that yeah sometimes you have to scratch your head till you figure it out. And sometimes this stuff beats us and then we go FINE and we pick up our boot straps and try again and figure it out. 

But Royal just has issues. Too stuffy, too negative, too noisy. I agree with her. So body scan, find your inner calm, and figure out how to WIN at this. Have you found all the good food on the ship yet? It's largely disappointing, but at least on the ship I was on the lunch indian offerings kicked butt. The donuts were fine. The guacamole was a surprise. The cookies were ok. It's very easy to get rigid and say THIS is what I wanted and THIS is what I'm looking for. Then we can flip that and decide to try new things or go a different way. And that's something I do. I look for what I haven't tried yet or haven't eaten yet or where I haven't explored yet. 

[PeterPan]

1 minute ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

 I’m just very disoriented right now.

Oh I hear you!! I spent the first couple days on Symphony just about having screaming meltdowns. I would get disoriented and some staff member would finally tell me what direction I was going. I was just COMPLETELY bamboozled and lost on the ship for a while. 

Ok, so live music. Are you sitting too close? The trick with live music is to find the spot where you can sit and be comfortable. Does your dh have some hearing loss? Seriously, you might get it checked. So I can be somewhere if I am on the *fringe* or if I find a spot that is acoustically ok. And like I said, RCL's audio people are idiots, because the way sound bounces in their spaces is horrific. No consideration at all for how it feels and it's literally painful. 

So try sitting further back. Maybe scope it out and figure out where you need to be then bring him. Or find a different venue that is quieter. You could make it a game, a scavenger hunt thing, to try all the venues. I would also consider doing things defensively. The airpods are fine. Conversation is fine. Take some hot tea with you so you have something grounding. I usually take 2-3 types of hot tea bags with me, so I can have it multiple times a day and not get bored. They aren't as good as carnival because the dispensers don't seem as hot. I could be wet on that. Carnival kicks butt for hot water. Anyways, find where they have that and the free cookies all night. You can solve a lot with some hot tea and a cookie!

 

[PeterPan]

12 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

shows

I booked Oasis to see their production of Cats, which I'm sure will be fun. Are they doing Mama Mia on your ship? I swear we did something of that at a dance class on my last cruise and it was completely weird. Lots of hand motions. Royal doesn't have enough comedians either. The 14 day cruise we just did had 3 comedians at all times and they were rotated out after a few days. Royal was just a snooze fest. 

But, you know, milk 'em for what they do well. Have you tried the 24 hour hot tub? Have you tried the waterslides with the heated water? seriously, best thing ever. Royal does epic slides. If you do a water slide 20 times in a row you might feel better. And the water will be heated so it won't matter that you think it's nippy out. The Symphony had two pools facing in the beach area and a 3rd down a bit. One was heated and the other not, so again don't assume but actually go try all the pools to figure it out. You won't know till you try.

12 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

I tried the solarium but it’s closed.

Are you sure?? That makes no sense. Unless it's crazy windy or something it should be open. Maybe you were not at the entrance? So weird.

12 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

liberty.

Then yes, you have FREE  sauna and steam room use in the women's locker room. Go check it out!!! Free!!!!!!! At least that's my understanding from the videos I found by googling. Go check it out.

 

Edited May 5 by PeterPan

[PeterPan]

Have you done the steam room and sauna before? They will have towels there and lockers. I take a towel into the steam room to lie down. I take a pumice stone to scrub my feet afterward in the shower, which is good sensory. I take WATER so I don't get dehydrated. 

You could go in there a couple times a day!! Go till you feel better. Go at various times till you find when interesting people go in to chat with. Then you'll stay longer and have more fun. 🙂

[PeterPan]

https://www.royalcaribbeanblog.com/2022/11/08/top-10-liberty-of-the-seas-hidden-secrets

[Frances]

4 hours ago, KSera said:

Surely there must be somewhere doing them?? I’ve never found the idea of a cruise at all appealing, but now even less so! PeterPan gave a lot of helpful ideas for someone who already finds them self on one, but after reading all that, I think that seals the deal that I’m never going on one 🤣. That sounds like a lot of work to take a vacation!

 

I hope you can find some of those quiet areas and enjoy the rest of your time.

Same here. And the spa, sauna, steam room, hot tub suggestions are my version of a nightmare. Now cookies and tea in a quiet spot I could get onboard with, but I can do that at home, no need to go on a cruise.

Edited May 5 by Frances

[PeterPan]

7 minutes ago, Frances said:

the spa, sauna, steam room, hot tub suggestions

Haha, then you REALLY won't like what I do when I extra want to feel good. I go back and forth between the hot tub and the unheated pools. 🤣 I just keep doing that, back and forth, till my system finally says THANK YOU and feels good and whole and calm again. 

Everybody has what works for them. I'm a sensory junkie, so for me the subtle motion of the ship, the wind, the things to do and feel are just perfect. They just can't be jumbled the way Royal does in some of their common areas. They do this sort of european street thing and it's just sounds from every direction, a total mess. 

[Eos]

Gosh @PeterPan what a good observer and explainer you are. I will never go on a cruise but I am enjoying reading your descriptions and can imagine the scenes as if they are a movie in my head.

Tiggy, I'm sorry you are overwhelmed, I would be too. Next level overwhelmed. The sounds and the space as well as your dh's new mentality must be really disorienting. Hugs and peaceful sleep to you.

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

The more I walked around the ship today the more I think the vibe is just pretty miserable and I am picking up on it. It’s unseasonably cold and expected to be chilly in Bermuda, so people aren’t out on the pool decks and several port excursions were cancelled.  RC doesn’t seem to be pivoting to indoor activities other than hourly trivia. I knew there wouldn’t be lectures like I loved on Princess but I was hoping for some more shows and indoor movies given the weather. It’s an air temp of 56 degrees right now and I think people are just grouchy and the staff seems pretty miserable overall too.

Im glad I got a suite though even if I can’t use the balcony much. 😂

Edited May 5 by Mrs Tiggywinkle Again

[PeterPan]

See carnival would be fun anyway. It’s a royal issue. So meet your needs. Downliad a lecture series and make your own fun.

[PeterPan]

It’s very hard to be flexible when it doesn’t go like you expected. 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

1 hour ago, PeterPan said:

See carnival would be fun anyway. It’s a royal issue. So meet your needs. Downliad a lecture series and make your own fun.

Haha the internet isn’t good enough to stream movies. I am honestly really surprised at how little they have planned for a Sea Day anyway. No lectures or enrichment stuff, only trivia every hour and a concert tonight at some point. There’s a movie on the pool deck at 9 but I can’t imagine how cold that would be or why they haven’t moved it indoors.

We did have an excursion cancelled due to weather but they offered another one in replacement that actually looks better, so that was nice.  
I did go to try the hot tubs but since the pools are ghost towns, the hot tubs are people stew.

[PeterPan]

3 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

I am honestly really surprised at how little they have planned for a Sea Day anyway.

Ok, so no internet, ship entertainment staff is bunk. It's almost dinner time so maybe your misery is half over. Fwiw, you could think up things you've never done before. I don't drink, but I've never tried *every non-alcoholic drink* on the ship. That could be a project. Have you started any conversations with crew members? On Carnival they'll definitely talk to you. It always amazes me how FRIENDLY some of the grannies get with the staff! They have this way of walking up and suddenly knowing EVERYTHING about the crew member. Find out where they're from, what their family is like, etc. 

Have you cataloged the plants in the central park? Does that ship have one? 

Have you looked at all the plaques they get for each new port they go to? That clutter is usually all together somewhere. 

Have you tried on all the overpriced jewelry in the shops? That might get your dh hating cruising fast, haha.

Have you looked at the photos in the photo galleries?

Have you watched the water from the aft? You can stand and look at that for hours, mercy.

Have you snuck out through the front and any open doors to see where you get to? 

Have you walked halls to look at people's room decor?

Have you gone to a free exercise/yoga class? The schedule should have some.

We already talked about the free steam room and sauna that are probably in each locker room. I looked at the ship a bit and one of their slides looks terrific. I'd be doing that if it's open. I always take a long sleeve swim shirt, so 50F wouldn't deter me. The water may be heated.

Have you gone to all the bars? I don't drink, so sometimes I explore them in the daytime.

Have you gone to the dance classes?

But yeah, start with the overpriced jewelry shops. Not the froo froo shawls and junk but the hard core jewelry. One cruise I was on they had a special roped off section in the jewelry store because they had COMPED a whole bunch of people who tended to buy jewelry and were trying to entice them to buy more. You could go sweet talk them and get to try the extra nice stuff on. Most of their regular jewelry doesn't appeal to me but they extra stuff they had brought on did. 😄

Have you washed your laundry? When all else fails, check your account statement, tidy the laundry, look at the menus for the whole rest of the cruise and pick out what you plan to eat. 

I've just never gotten bored on a ship, but I always eat, walk, or sleep if I'm not in the spa. People will walk every floor the length, go up the stairs, back, go up the stairs, and traverse the entire ship. Who knows what you'll find if you do this. Then you can brag that you lose weight while cruising.

[PeterPan]

So how is Bermuda going? Are things improving? I'll tell you, I was looking at Royal today, so tempted by a low price, and looked at that deck plan and thought NOPE, DON'T DO IT. 🤣 Just think, you may have saved me from disaster. 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

11 hours ago, PeterPan said:

So how is Bermuda going? Are things improving? I'll tell you, I was looking at Royal today, so tempted by a low price, and looked at that deck plan and thought NOPE, DON'T DO IT. 🤣 Just think, you may have saved me from disaster. 

Haha.

So Royal Caribbean is definitely not for me.  However, the new DH I have is enthralled and wants to book six more cruises this year(it’s another huge and sudden personality change).  He has had a great time despite my concerns that he’d hate it, but he’s all of a sudden a people person and is loving the shows and activities.

We went to Saturday Night Fever last night. That was seriously the most depressing musical I’d ever seen lol. But I have really enjoyed the comedian and the ice show; tonight it’s a magician.

Honestly once the internet worked well I downloaded a bunch of books I’ve been wanting to read but haven’t had time and curled up in a quiet bar reading and drinking cocktails. It was pretty good.

I don’t know that I’d do Bermuda again to be honest. We didn’t go to any of the beaches because it was cold, but we did two touring excursions that were amazing.  But now that my husband is a dedicated Royal Caribbean cruiser, I’m looking at the western Carribean for warmth.  And I’m bringing ear plugs. DH thinks he’d love Icon.  I think I might die on that ship lol.

Edited May 8 by Mrs Tiggywinkle Again

[PeterPan]

9 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

But now that my husband is a dedicated Royal Caribbean cruiser,

This is hilarious. Well just roll with it. Have you looked at transatlantics or cruising in the Mediterranean? The weather is amazing and when the ports are closer like in the Med the ship will matter less. Feed him some line about trying new ships so he can see all the different shows. 😄 Cats will be on the Oasis, just in case you've been missing it and want to see it. 

The shows on Symphony of the Seas were incredible btw. I don't know about Icon. Isn't their main show the Wizard of Oz? 🤣 I'm sure it's fine. Maybe just put some dictum in about what you need to be happy. If you need the spa or massage or a budget for this or that, say so.

Maybe your dh has secretly been getting TMS? (transcranial magnetic stimulation)

[PeterPan]

And no, the trick is to go further south. Bermuda, Nassau, etc. are too far north, pretty much even with the Florida Keys. Head down to Aruba, St Martin, etc. for better weather year round. 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

13 hours ago, PeterPan said:

This is hilarious. Well just roll with it. Have you looked at transatlantics or cruising in the Mediterranean? The weather is amazing and when the ports are closer like in the Med the ship will matter less. Feed him some line about trying new ships so he can see all the different shows. 😄 Cats will be on the Oasis, just in case you've been missing it and want to see it. 

The shows on Symphony of the Seas were incredible btw. I don't know about Icon. Isn't their main show the Wizard of Oz? 🤣 I'm sure it's fine. Maybe just put some dictum in about what you need to be happy. If you need the spa or massage or a budget for this or that, say so.

Maybe your dh has secretly been getting TMS? (transcranial magnetic stimulation)

He has white matter lesions on his brain and there’s clearly something neurological going on, but today he woke up and was like I loved this! I’m booking Icon for the whole family!

I hadn’t considered divorce before now but it’s on the table before I can manage Icon.

[lmrich]

We did an NCL cruise and I paid less than $200 for access the thermal spa - it was amazing! never crowded, heated lounge chairs, soft music and a view to die for - my favorite part of the cruise. 

By the way - most cruise lines are very sensitive to food allergies. 

[PeterPan]

4 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

He has white matter lesions on his brain and there’s clearly something neurological going on, but today he woke up and was like I loved this! I’m booking Icon for the whole family!

I hadn’t considered divorce before now but it’s on the table before I can manage Icon.

I'm not a doctor, but in the episode the brain changes brought dramatic personality changes. Is it possible he's having some kind of *do things before I can't anymore* kind of spurt? It's almost what it sounds like honestly. 

What would it take for you to handle Icon? It's not that much bigger than Oasis class, not in reality. The spa on the oasis class and Icon will be something with a thermal pass, an actual spa, vs. just the steam room and sauna room in the locker rooms. There will be heated loungers, a relaxation room, and you might like it. 

Symphony of the Seas is in the Med right now. Seriously, cruising in the Med would be completely different from the Caribbean. There are constant ports, so there aren't the dull sea days. The ship might not annoy you so much, which means he'd get his fix and you'd get to do amazing things. 

Did you connect with the FB group for your last cruise? Next cruise, try connecting with the FB group to see if you can make friends or find things you like. Shh, but you can even join the *solo* group for the cruise and do things with them if he's going to sit in the cabin the whole time. Seriously. 

I think you can make it work with some creativity. It was your first cruise as a modern adult, haha, and you have a learning curve. Be patient with yourself. 

[PeterPan]

Would he be open to Celebrity (upscale of Royal) or does it have to be Royal? The food would be better and the vibe quieter.