The time has come! update in OP

[mommyoffive]

Sending some hugs for the roller coaster year.   I think you already decided and I 100% think you are making the right choice.  You all deserve to slow down.  Have family meals together.  And whatever else a slow down life looks like.  I 100% would choose spending time with your girls over saving for something else down the road, now that your dh has a bigger salary.  Your girls are going to grow so fast and you can't get this time back.   

 

[Lady Marmalade]

Deciding to quit and stay at home doesn't mean it has to be the forever decision.  It's a big decision, yes, but maybe if you frame it is a temporary change, you can feel more at peace about it.  Try it for one year and see how it goes. I think the timing for this type of decision would be perfect. With summer break, you'll be able to leave your job and still have a little bit of summer left to decompress before you get right to the grind with the school books and the new school year.  It sounds perfect to me! 

[Laura Corin]

I don't think you should feel bad.  You have been doing three jobs - household, teaching, outside work.  Dropping down to two is fine.  Some people do manage to do it all, but we don't know the cost of that, whether in corners cut in the moment or in long-term health issues.

[Harriet Vane]

Resigning to focus on your time with kids is a good thing if that’s what you want. When you need or want to jump back into outside-the-home work, you’ll figure it out. 

[ScoutTN]

5 hours ago, mommyoffive said:

Sending some hugs for the roller coaster year.   I think you already decided and I 100% think you are making the right choice.  You all deserve to slow down.  Have family meals together.  And whatever else a slow down life looks like.  I 100% would choose spending time with your girls over saving for something else down the road, now that your dh has a bigger salary.  Your girls are going to grow so fast and you can't get this time back.   

 

Absolutely this. 
 

[Soror]

So, I talked to my boss today and she said they would probably let me cut back and still pay me the same. Right now I can have up to 4 cases, she says they could have my max be 2. The number of cases we had was previously only up to 2. She said they did this previously for someone else who wanted to cut back and because DFS likes me (ie specifically request me and are pleased with how I do), I keep on top of my paperwork (quite frankly better than anyone else I work with), and do a good job they'd like to keep me around. I know I don't want to stay on long-term but am considering trialing this for a few months. 

I have a couple of ethical concerns

(1) making the same as others but doing less work (although one of my coworkers has had reduced case load for months due to falling behind and we don't always have 4 cases- right now 2 co-workers have 3 cases, 1 has 1 and I have 2) 

(2) I have no intention of staying. This would just be how much money could I make with the least work to sock away for savings. 

I'd considered asking if it was possible to do a PT position for less pay but had decided just to quit. She suggested this of her own volition.

I'm tempted tbh but also want to be done. I'm very conflicted.

 

[mommyoffive]

Wow, what a great offer.  Your last sentence made me feel like you already have your answer in that you don't want to stay even with that.

[Harriet Vane]

1 hour ago, Soror said:

So, I talked to my boss today and she said they would probably let me cut back and still pay me the same. Right now I can have up to 4 cases, she says they could have my max be 2. The number of cases we had was previously only up to 2. She said they did this previously for someone else who wanted to cut back and because DFS likes me (ie specifically request me and are pleased with how I do), I keep on top of my paperwork (quite frankly better than anyone else I work with), and do a good job they'd like to keep me around. I know I don't want to stay on long-term but am considering trialing this for a few months. 

I have a couple of ethical concerns

(1) making the same as others but doing less work (although one of my coworkers has had reduced case load for months due to falling behind and we don't always have 4 cases- right now 2 co-workers have 3 cases, 1 has 1 and I have 2) 

(2) I have no intention of staying. This would just be how much money could I make with the least work to sock away for savings. 

I'd considered asking if it was possible to do a PT position for less pay but had decided just to quit. She suggested this of her own volition.

I'm tempted tbh but also want to be done. I'm very conflicted.

 

Re your concerns—

You’re a social worker, so my assumption is that you are underpaid. So take the money knowing it’s actually nudging you closer to a fair pay for your labor.

As far as not staying long, who cares. They will still receive the benefit of your work for as long as YOU choose to work. There is nothing at all unfair about that to either party. We work and we get paid. People leave jobs for valid personal reasons absolutely all the time. 

[Laura Corin]

It sounds as if currently you are doing more work than your colleagues,  in that you have the same case load but are staying on top of the paperwork better than they. So perhaps a reduced case load would bring you to parity.

If you worked the reduced load for a while, in the future when you look for work again, you would be able to negotiate deals based on this expectation,  which could be very valuable. 

[Soror]

On 5/30/2024 at 8:38 PM, mommyoffive said:

Wow, what a great offer.  Your last sentence made me feel like you already have your answer in that you don't want to stay even with that.

No, not really.

On 5/30/2024 at 10:33 PM, Harriet Vane said:

Re your concerns—

You’re a social worker, so my assumption is that you are underpaid. So take the money knowing it’s actually nudging you closer to a fair pay for your labor.

As far as not staying long, who cares. They will still receive the benefit of your work for as long as YOU choose to work. There is nothing at all unfair about that to either party. We work and we get paid. People leave jobs for valid personal reasons absolutely all the time. 

Yep, but we all make crappy pay. The big perk is the flexibility, which is the only reason this has worked at all!

On 5/31/2024 at 1:50 AM, Laura Corin said:

It sounds as if currently you are doing more work than your colleagues,  in that you have the same case load but are staying on top of the paperwork better than they. So perhaps a reduced case load would bring you to parity.

If you worked the reduced load for a while, in the future when you look for work again, you would be able to negotiate deals based on this expectation,  which could be very valuable. 

That is an interesting take, thank you.

Mulling this around- I feel I should take the deal but don't want to take it.

If I try it out then that's adding at least 2 months on to working- 1 month to try it out and then a fresh 30 days notice. Dh says it is entirely up to me. 

Here's hoping I get some clarity.

[Harriet Vane]

25 minutes ago, Soror said:

No, not really.

Yep, but we all make crappy pay. The big perk is the flexibility, which is the only reason this has worked at all!

That is an interesting take, thank you.

Mulling this around- I feel I should take the deal but don't want to take it.

If I try it out then that's adding at least 2 months on to working- 1 month to try it out and then a fresh 30 days notice. Dh says it is entirely up to me. 

Here's hoping I get some clarity.

Praying for clarity. 

[Scarlett]

On 5/30/2024 at 8:38 PM, mommyoffive said:

Wow, what a great offer.  Your last sentence made me feel like you already have your answer in that you don't want to stay even with that.

I agree. 

[Scarlett]

3 hours ago, Soror said:

No, not really.

Yep, but we all make crappy pay. The big perk is the flexibility, which is the only reason this has worked at all!

That is an interesting take, thank you.

Mulling this around- I feel I should take the deal but don't want to take it.

If I try it out then that's adding at least 2 months on to working- 1 month to try it out and then a fresh 30 days notice. Dh says it is entirely up to me. 

Here's hoping I get some clarity.

I would not be one bit concerned about making more than your co workers. It sounds like you are more qualified and efficient. I also would not feel bad about planning to eventually quit. No employer is ever guaranteed how long an employee will stay. 

[Jaybee]

The time with kids at home goes quickly. If you want to stay home and you can, stay home without guilt. I am now staying home without kids (adult kid still lives here, but no teaching responsibilities or anything). Sometimes I do feel a little guilty--until I am free to travel to help out when our kids need grandparents to help due to a new baby, an anniversary trip, or whatever. Then, I am so thankful to be able to just pick up and go. I would like to have more money, that is true, for now as well as the future. But we'd have to add a vehicle, new wardrobe, etc., so maybe it wouldn't be terribly beneficial with what I could make in the few years I would still want to work. On the other hand, home things run smoothly and without stress because I can stay on top of things. We are mostly relaxed these days. I have been able to change my cooking and our eating habits to be much more healthy because I have had the time to learn and adjust to a new way of doing things. 

[Soror]

2 hours ago, Scarlett said:

I would not be one bit concerned about making more than your co workers. It sounds like you are more qualified and efficient. I also would not feel bad about planning to eventually quit. No employer is ever guaranteed how long an employee will stay. 

I should clarify- I'm not more qualified. I am more efficient and organized.  I knew with working and having the kids at home I would need to work as efficiently as possible. Not that I am the best at everything or do things perfectly but I'm good at those things. TBH my boss is pretty disorganized and (seems to be) burnt out and the culture was pretty lax IRT getting work done. That's why I have a coworker at least 6-9 months behind on paperwork and afaik, is still behind. It stresses me out so I don't work that way. 

1 hour ago, Jaybee said:

The time with kids at home goes quickly. If you want to stay home and you can, stay home without guilt. I am now staying home without kids (adult kid still lives here, but no teaching responsibilities or anything). Sometimes I do feel a little guilty--until I am free to travel to help out when our kids need grandparents to help due to a new baby, an anniversary trip, or whatever. Then, I am so thankful to be able to just pick up and go. I would like to have more money, that is true, for now as well as the future. But we'd have to add a vehicle, new wardrobe, etc., so maybe it wouldn't be terribly beneficial with what I could make in the few years I would still want to work. On the other hand, home things run smoothly and without stress because I can stay on top of things. We are mostly relaxed these days. I have been able to change my cooking and our eating habits to be much more healthy because I have had the time to learn and adjust to a new way of doing things. 

I'm sure there are plenty of things to keep you busy. I know my retired parents are always doing something. I've done pretty well keeping the house clean and cooking homemade meals (recruiting more help here and there), but I don't do as well on either as I'd like.

It's hard to have time and money. Another consideration for me is my lack of vacation time. Dh has 5 weeks, I have 2. No long epic road trips on my vaca time!