DawnM Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 (edited) We applied for DS5's new birth certificate with his new name last May. We were told with the covid backup and it being in CA, we should expect 12-18 months before we could get it. I just got a call from NV saying they have it and will be sending it certified mail and we should get it by next week. Now we can officially change his name with the schools and get him a passport! WhooHoo! PS: I might or might not have gotten very upset by a young adopted tictocker who started a series on "Why adoptees hate adopters change their name, it isn't their right!" I wanted to say, "Look you naive little twit, I am not keeping the name of the man who tried to kill my baby on his birth certificate!" (ok, technically, he tried to kill the mother while she was pregnant and went to jail for it, but whatever, I don't want anything to do with him or his name!) Edited April 12, 2023 by DawnM 46 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 14 minutes ago, DawnM said: We applied for DS5's new birth certificate with his new name last May. We were told with the covid backup and it being in CA, we should expect 12-18 months before we could get it. I just got a call from NV saying they have it and will be sending it certified mail and we should get it by next week. Now we can officially change his name with the schools and get him a passport! WhooHoo! PS: I might or might not have gotten very upset by a young adopted tictocker who started a series on "Why adoptees hate adopters change their name, it isn't their right!" I wanted to say, "Look you naive little twit, I am not keeping the name of the man who tried to kill my baby on his birth certificate!" (ok, technically, he tried to kill the mother while she was pregnant and went to jail for it, but whatever, I don't want anything to do with him or his name!) That is great news @DawnM. I have been watching a lot of the adoption industry talk and I admit I have my concerns about closed adoptions and trying to erase the bio family completely. But the trouble is all stories are not the same and your child definitely needs what you are providing. I am assuming you will one day tell him his story. The broad overview of course. I doubt he needs to hear all the crazy details. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted April 12, 2023 Author Share Posted April 12, 2023 3 hours ago, Scarlett said: That is great news @DawnM. I have been watching a lot of the adoption industry talk and I admit I have my concerns about closed adoptions and trying to erase the bio family completely. But the trouble is all stories are not the same and your child definitely needs what you are providing. I am assuming you will one day tell him his story. The broad overview of course. I doubt he needs to hear all the crazy details. Sometimes it would be best if the bio family were completely erased. Very sad, but unfortunately, sometimes true. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 Hooray! (And don't get me started on the "adopters are evil" discussion. It is impossible to know what our kids are gonna want a decade from now. Leave them with a difficult-to-say-and-spell name, and they'll hate you for that. Change it to one you gave a lot of thought to, they'll hate you for that. I've been complained at for everything I ever did, from feeding my tots organic food to not demanding fluency in their birth language [which they weren't interested in]. I know someday the kids will understand why I made my choices, and that's good enough for me.) 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 3 hours ago, Scarlett said: I am assuming you will one day tell him his story. The broad overview of course. I doubt he needs to hear all the crazy details. As our kids get older, we do tell them their story, as it is "their" story. Age-appropriate, of course. It is painful, but it's their information. If I could erase some of the reality, I absolutely would tbh. Nobody wants that for their child. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted April 12, 2023 Author Share Posted April 12, 2023 Just now, SKL said: Hooray! (And don't get me started on the "adopters are evil" discussion. It is impossible to know what our kids are gonna want a decade from now. Leave them with a difficult-to-say-and-spell name, and they'll hate you for that. Change it to one you gave a lot of thought to, they'll hate you for that. I've been complained at for everything I ever did, from feeding my tots organic food to not demanding fluency in their birth language [which they weren't interested in]. I know someday the kids will understand why I made my choices, and that's good enough for me.) My first adoption was foreign. I am pretty sure my 19 year old is glad I didn't keep his foreign name. As for Andrew, Andrew was always what he was called, but it was his middle name. I did keep it, but it is now his first name and my father's name is his middle name. And then of course, he has taken our last name. People need to stay in their own lane. 10 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 Don’t feel bad about changing a child’s name when adopting. I know a few people who had to change their child’s name because they were adopting out of foster care and the bio parents were making threats. They needed to make it harder for the child to be tracked down. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 Great news Dawn! 6 hours ago, Scarlett said: But the trouble is all stories are not the same and your child definitely needs what you are providing. This. No one person or small group of people can speak for an entire group of people. Every adoption and every adoptee story is different. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 I did need good news today, so thank you! And hooray!!!!! I'm so thrilled for you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted April 12, 2023 Author Share Posted April 12, 2023 2 hours ago, Lady Florida. said: Great news Dawn! This. No one person or small group of people can speak for an entire group of people. Every adoption and every adoptee story is different. Exactly! And I am an adoptee so I get to have a say in all of this "adoptees feel this way" conversation! 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 Congratulations Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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