popmom Posted July 29, 2022 Share Posted July 29, 2022 (edited) Since I had the epiphany that I didn’t have to tolerate my mother’s abuse any longer. a bit of happy news from me… I want to thank all of you for being so supportive when I was questioning my own sanity. This is the first place I came for advice. The past 12 months have been very, very difficult for me, my husband, and especially my children. We (my dh and kids) are closer than ever before. We still grieve, but we grieve with hope. My parents finally cut me off/out as of last month. I put the ball in their court, and that was their response. My last interaction with my mother via email… I won. I WON. I know that’s ungracious, but I don’t care. I told my therapist about the interaction. I said, “Could I have handled it better? Probably. Could I have handled it worse? Absolutely.” She agreed. I won because I have saved every single text, voicemail, and email. I also documented our few in person interactions. She demanded an in person meeting (audience with the Queen). I responded saying—pick an elder at your church or mine—someone you trust and respect. Someone with good discernment. And I will be more than willing to meet in the presence of an elder. Her choice! Out of desperation she tried appealing to my adult children—telling them I was threatening her and I was very unstable. My children set a boundary that they would not discuss me with her. They didn’t abandon her—they set a boundary. My parents told my kids, “you’ll never hear from us again.” I have never felt such relief. I can finally start healing. I need to go to bed, but maybe tomorrow I’ll link back to the first post I made about this situation. Goodness gracious I have come so far! Edited July 29, 2022 by popmom 32 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted July 29, 2022 Share Posted July 29, 2022 Oh, I'm so very happy for you! ❤️ When I made the decision to be estranged from my mother it was such an amazing relief to me to have her out of my life. One of those things where you don't realize how draining something is until it's gone. Just a huge huge weight off my shoulders. I hope it's the same for you and your family. Wishing you all the best. I know this is hard and there will still be hard times but you are doing the right thing for you and your family. I'm glad you have support too - that helps a lot. 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 29, 2022 Share Posted July 29, 2022 I’m so happy for you! It’s a huge achievement and you should be very proud of yourself! YAY FOR YOU!!! 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted July 29, 2022 Share Posted July 29, 2022 Sending you some hugs. I am happy that you are finally free. I am so sorry for the whole situation. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 29, 2022 Share Posted July 29, 2022 7 hours ago, popmom said: I want to thank all of you for being so supportive when I was questioning my own sanity. This is the first place I came for advice. My parents told my kids, “you’ll never hear from us again.” Narcissism - the only disorder where those around the patient must seek mental health care . . . . . As for the "you'll never hear from us again" . . . Is that a promise? My brother blew his stack at me last fall, and swore he was done with me. I had three glorious weeks . . . . Then the emails started again. So, just be forewarned. (contact with him among all family members ranges from tightly controlled to no-contact.) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted July 29, 2022 Share Posted July 29, 2022 I hope you have some peace now, and space to heal. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 29, 2022 Share Posted July 29, 2022 Just want to add: I remember the relief I felt when I realized it was her, and I WASN'T CRAZY!!!!! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted July 29, 2022 Share Posted July 29, 2022 Quote My parents told my kids, “you’ll never hear from us again.” Oh no. Not that. Anything but that. I bet they just sobbed for weeks after she said that, huh. /s 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Hopper Posted July 29, 2022 Share Posted July 29, 2022 2 hours ago, mommyoffive said: Sending you some hugs. I am happy that you are finally free. I am so sorry for the whole situation. Piling on the hugs! May you sail forward with joy. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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