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Living in North Carolina


Wheres Toto
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Dh used to live in North Carolina.   We currently live in NJ.    

Somehow we just started talking about moving to North Carolina when dh retires.    He's 65 and is eligible for full social security in 6 months.  (Edit;  I'm not 55, I'm 53 as of July 29th 🙄 )I'm 55 so have a ways to go).  Obviously North Carolina is a lot cheaper place to live than NJ.    We have a very small house here, which would could sell for enough to pay off the mortgage and get a much larger house in NC, without a mortgage.   

I run a business where our lease is up in 2 years, so we're currently thinking of looking at the various aspects of this with a tentative plan for dh to retire and we will move in summer of 2024.    At that point, I could sell, hand-off, or close the business possibly with reopening it in NC (I teach science classes to homeschoolers, which seems to be legal in NC but the demand may or may not be there).  Ds will likely have finished his associates degree at the community college he currently attends and be ready to transfer.   Dd will technically have finished her junior year but we could probably graduate her and have her do CC or continue to work on stuff at home and not have to deal with the switch in homeschool laws (NJ has none).  

If I don't reopen the business, I could likely get a job as an Executive Assistant if needed, possibly even working from home/remote.  

We'd be leaving older dd behind but she has a work-from-home job that would allow her to come visit frequently and for long time periods (or possibly even move with us).  

My mother is here in NJ and would likely come with us, if she is able.  

Any thoughts?  Advantages/Disadvantages to living in North Carolina?    We'd likely be in the RTP area of the state.   Dh hasn't lived there in over 20 years so I'm sure things have changed.  

Edited by Wheres Toto
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The rest of your state is already down here, what is taking you so long?   🤣

I am in the Charlotte area so I won't be a lot of help with the RTP area.   We moved here from Los Angeles many years ago.

I would suggest a few trips down here to check everything out.

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We’re looking for land there to build our retirement home. For us it’s not a huge move tho and the taxes are better for our retirement situation. We like the eastern seaboard and have no interest in moving further south. We have friends who live in Raleigh already so I know we can find communities of interest. We also like being outdoors (not ‘roughing it’, or beaches, just visiting forested/dense vegetation areas, lol, and there are plenty of trails and lakes to explore.

Edited by Sneezyone
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Actually looks like we are looking farther East - basically between Raleigh and the ocean.    We have a lot of flexibility since dh and mom would be retired, I could likely work anywhere since I probably won't have a minimum salary requirement.  

What I mainly want - fairly liberal, dd and ds are both gay/non-binary and we'd like someplace they'd be accepted and safe, quiet with some land (a couple acres).    Not worried about homeschool laws since we'll basically be done.  

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I grew up in the triangle area and have lots of friends there still. My mom lives in Durham. It's a wonderful area. Lots of recreation, lots of culture, lots of food, lots of communities of different interests and political bents, good healthcare, good services.

If you have a student who is nearing college age, think carefully about your timing. Ideally you either want to stay put so she can get in state tuition in NJ. Or you want to move early enough to be sure there's no question about her qualifying for in state tuition in the next state. The worst thing a family can do to a soon to be young adult is to move during their senior year. You'll rob them of in state tuition in one state and they won't have a way to get it in the next state. Remember that students cannot get in state tuition in most states while they're a student, so you couldn't graduate her and have her take classes for a year in NC - that might mess her up. To be safe, you'd ideally want to be move something like 16-18 months at least before the student might enroll in college and be sure to line up residency proof ASAP after arrival. That said, NC has great public college options. They also have a solid dual enrollment program that homeschoolers can use.

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Just now, Wheres Toto said:

Actually looks like we are looking farther East - basically between Raleigh and the ocean.    We have a lot of flexibility since dh and mom would be retired, I could likely work anywhere since I probably won't have a minimum salary requirement.  

What I mainly want - fairly liberal, dd and ds are both gay/non-binary and we'd like someplace they'd be accepted and safe, quiet with some land (a couple acres).    Not worried about homeschool laws since we'll basically be done.  

There are plenty of welcoming communities. Those are largely the ones that are growing in population too so there’s that.

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Adding that there are some lovely liberal mini-bubbles spotted around NC... but the further you get from the cities - the triangle, Charlotte, Asheville, Wilmington - the more you'll really need to investigate if that's important to you.

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9 minutes ago, Farrar said:

The worst thing a family can do to a soon to be young adult is to move during their senior year. You'll rob them of in state tuition in one state and they won't have a way to get it in the next state. Remember that students cannot get in state tuition in most states while they're a student, so you couldn't graduate her and have her take classes for a year in NC - that might mess her up. To be safe, you'd ideally want to be move something like 16-18 months at least before the student might enroll in college and be sure to line up residency proof ASAP after arrival. That said, NC has great public college options. They also have a solid dual enrollment program that homeschoolers can use.

I will agree that it’s good to check the residency rules and might be easier to get her to dual enroll in her senior year of high school instead of graduating her. We looked into it a few years ago when my dh got a job there but he needed up commuting and we did not move. 

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6 minutes ago, Farrar said:

I grew up in the triangle area and have lots of friends there still. My mom lives in Durham. It's a wonderful area. Lots of recreation, lots of culture, lots of food, lots of communities of different interests and political bents, good healthcare, good services.

If you have a student who is nearing college age, think carefully about your timing. Ideally you either want to stay put so she can get in state tuition in NJ. Or you want to move early enough to be sure there's no question about her qualifying for in state tuition in the next state. The worst thing a family can do to a soon to be young adult is to move during their senior year. You'll rob them of in state tuition in one state and they won't have a way to get it in the next state. Remember that students cannot get in state tuition in most states while they're a student, so you couldn't graduate her and have her take classes for a year in NC - that might mess her up. To be safe, you'd ideally want to be move something like 16-18 months at least before the student might enroll in college and be sure to line up residency proof ASAP after arrival. That said, NC has great public college options. They also have a solid dual enrollment program that homeschoolers can use.

Dd is very likely going to do part time community college at first.  If we did move in 2024, she'd be just turning 18, likely starting her senior year.   Ds would be 19 and depending on his situation may stay in NJ for college or come with us.     We will be paying for their college. 

We just mentioned the idea to dd(almost 15) and she did NOT like the idea.   She has anxiety and adhd and hates the idea of change.   Ds (almost 17) has ASD and anxiety and will likely feel the same way, so we definitely want to prepare them for the possibility WAY ahead of time. 

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I have a friend that is looking to move to Raleigh and she said the housing market is crazy.  They’ve been outbid by $100k over asking and we live in a HCOL where we are - but in Raleigh she said they would need to spend more to get what they have here.  Just something to be aware of, if Raleigh is your first choice.

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7 minutes ago, Wheres Toto said:

Dd is very likely going to do part time community college at first.  If we did move in 2024, she'd be just turning 18, likely starting her senior year.   Ds would be 19 and depending on his situation may stay in NJ for college or come with us.     We will be paying for their college. 

We just mentioned the idea to dd(almost 15) and she did NOT like the idea.   She has anxiety and adhd and hates the idea of change.   Ds (almost 17) has ASD and anxiety and will likely feel the same way, so we definitely want to prepare them for the possibility WAY ahead of time. 

So definitely check if this is even a thing that she could do. The last thing you want is to move down there and end up paying out of state tuition for community college followed by out of state tuition for a NC college. Yes, it sounds ABSURD that that would happen if you've been living there for years. But sometimes you simply cannot get in state tuition while you're taking college classes. She could live there for five years and never qualify for in state tuition if she doesn't take a full year break from all college courses. I know that applies to full time enrollment. 

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I was born and raised in eastern NC. I’m pretty familiar with the area (as well as the triangle, which is where I am now). 

Housing is hot right now. Houses  go fast. I’m sure that will shift with increase in interest rates.  I’d say that there’d likely be a market for homeschool classes in the area. There’s no shortage of homeschoolers and the area is generally affluent enough to pay for outsourced classes. 

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We live 25 min. SE of downtown Raleigh (when there's no traffic.)   The housing market is insane right now.  We bought a second home in the area a year and hour motnhs ago and we were very lucky to get it. Our choices were extremely limited. We needed tens of thousands of cash on hand to make an offer and were usually one of twenty or more offers.  That's nothing compared to now. People are paying cash for double the asking price in some areas.

Outsourced classes for homeschoolers are very much the norm here.  Independent homeschoolers are the exception, not the rule in my area.  We're in the outer suburbs up against rural areas and because of it we get a more stereotypical conservative, evangelical  Christian homeschooler, so be aware. It's not a good fit for my family.  Homeschooling has sucked here socially. There aren't many philosophical homeschoolers and there's a bizarre dependence on the imagined authority of a local homeschool curriculum store and owners to advise newbies.  Don't get me started on the insanity of the idea that people who sell curriculum are experts on all curriculum they have in stock. You can't explain to a local born and raised newbie around here why that doesn't make sense. 

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Hi. I'm in the Triangle.

You might hate the heat and humidity here, but we have excellent air conditioning (and lots of great parks for when you do go out--I sometimes joke that you can stand at the edge of a park and throw a pine cone, and it might land in another park).

I would look at the Triangle or places from which you would commute to here--politically purple to blue, depending on where you land (rural areas of the state are deep red); science-friendly; many very accepting folks. (I can help connect you more specifically if you want to PM.) Plenty of demand for homeschooling classes and summer day camps--we have a local AOPS branch in Morrisville, for example, and several hs groups that offer classes (including some that are secular).

Yes, housing prices have gone way up, but they still might not be as bad as the area you're moving from. I know my house, which has roughly doubled in value the past 20 years, is still worth only half what it would cost in some parts of New England.

Two to three hours' drive to the beach, 4-6 to the mountains. We're far enough west not to worry a lot about hurricanes--it's mostly just power outages here. Sell your snowblower: you won't need it.

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