Do your children have more or less responsibilities than their friends?

[battlemaiden]

I think I'm the strictest mom on the street. Not mean, but strict. My kids have a lot of chores in the day. It was never a problem until we moved to this neighborhood with SO MANY KIDS. Now I realize my children do so much more around the house...and my kids know it now too. :glare:

 

There has been an attitude battle lately. They still do all they are supposed to do, but a less cheerfully and willingly.

 

Does anyone else feel this way?

[PinkInTheBlue]

My guys have very few chores in my opinion but since all their friends appear to have absolutely no chores, I'm the slave driver! Every day my guys have to clean their room, make their bed, wash the dishes once and just generally and occasionally help. Once a week they collect the trash from around the house and take the cans to the road. They help when I ask and can wash clothes, mop, vacuum, clean bathrooms, sweep etc

 

What all do yours do?

[OhM]

According to my kids, they have more responsibility than every other kid in the universe.

 

Generally, I think they do have a more responsibilities than others their age, but still not nearly as much as they should have, and that they're capable of.

 

They *are* both very self-sufficient and tend to their own schedules and needs, while I see many of their friends being "managed" by their moms.

[Alphabetika]

I agree with OhM - my dd's seem to do more than many of their friends. I think this is GOOD. I don't think moms should be managing their kids' every move or household responsibility, once the skills have been well-taught. In our house, everyone feels more free this way. Keep in mind, my girls are 10 and 14, so I'm not talking about preschoolers/young ones who do need more supervision, etc.

 

The result I've seen around here is that my girls have lots of life skills that they take for granted but sometimes their peers are surprised by. This seems to be particularly true of cooking, for some reason. It makes sense to me that they should be able to do things for themselves as much as possible. It also makes sense to me that since they are here in the house much of the day, they need to keep the house running; they're part of the "team," if that doesn't sound too, well, corporate. I think they get pleasure and satisfaction out of having true skills that they can use now and carry into their lives later.

 

Still, we live in an urban area, and the things my girls do don't even compare to what I'm sure many rural/farm kids do. My f-i-l had to milk cows before school, walk to the bus stop, ride the bus to school and go to school all day, do the whole thing in reverse, plus more farm chores. What my kids do, and what I had to do, must seem laughable to people who do real labor. But for now I'm satisfied with the way things run around here. I'll be interested to see what others say in this thread. :)

[Mommyof4ks]

My kids are 3, 5 and 8, and yes they all have chores. My kids do more chores than their friends, but then they are home all day since we homeschool and they make more of a mess at the house than other kids their age. They don't really complain much even though my 8yr old knows that she has more chores. We just try to get all of the chores done before their ps friends come home so they can play together.

 

IMHO it is great to instill these life skills and teach what it means to work as a team and pitch in as a family! No matter where they live there will be chores as adults.

[dangermom]

Now they do, now that I've realized how much they can do (8 and 5). I adopted an easy version of Managers of Their Chores and am very happy with it--though I'm not good at the whole consistency every single day thing. I'm sure some of their friends do as much, but mostly not. Like the others above, however, I think it's important that they know how to take care of themselves and pitch in, and the 8yo has a pretty good attitude about it. I've been giving her home ec lessons too, so she can make eggs and such. The 5yo drags a lot more and I have to enforce the rules with her.

 

A 5yo funny: she was Obi-Wan Kenobi for Halloween and likes to wear her costume around the house. One day she was heard to mutter "Obi-Wan doesn't do chores. He doesn't even have a mom." I told her that Obi-Wan lived in the desert by himself for 20 years and did all his own chores, but she didn't believe me. :D

[joannqn]

I don't know if my kids have more or less chores than their friends. I don't think it has come up. It wouldn't matter if it did. They are very well aware of the fact that their help around the house makes it so I have time to take them to do fun things. They like going to all the fun places we go to and wouldn't want mommy to spend all her time doing chores by herself rather than taking them fun places on a regular basis.

[Kris]

I think I'm the strictest mom on the street. Not mean, but strict. My kids have a lot of chores in the day. It was never a problem until we moved to this neighborhood with SO MANY KIDS. Now I realize my children do so much more around the house...and my kids know it now too. :glare:

 

There has been an attitude battle lately. They still do all they are supposed to do, but a less cheerfully and willingly.

 

Does anyone else feel this way?

 

I thought The Kid was making it up when he told me ages ago that none of his friends had "chores." Here? In "The Heartland" -- the kids don't have chores? Well -- not my son's friends, no, they don't. And not the neighbor kids, either. The moms say it's just easier to do it themselves.

 

I *did* get attitude for a short time, and when he told me it was because no one else he knew had any responsibilities, I just asked him, "Do you think those parents are doing those kids any favors?"

 

That, pretty much, took care of that. Now, I still have to deal with the occasional attack of "lazy" -- but 'tude is a thing of the past.

[Alenee]

Amongst our friends, they're about even. We just began having dd 9.5 do her own laundry and clean 2 of the 2.5 baths. She seems a little overwhelmed by it right now because it's new but she has a willing heart. It's better that I have her do one major chore in a day rather than several. Each one of my three (4, 6, 9yo) have their own responsibilities but so do their friends. Among dd 9 yo's soccer team though, she has more chores by far. None of them really like it but that's because they had very little required of them up until this year. I wish I had paid more attention to what the Maxwell's say about nurturing in their hearts. Ours have 'free time' on their minds all the time so if it's anything other than school and not 'free time' they get itchy about it. It's all a learning experience.:D

[Peela]

Yes, mine have more I am pretty sure. I am not aware of any other kids, of any age, IRL, who do their own washing. They do ALL dishes, have several pets to take care of, swimming pool, bins, plus basic housework.My son feels it is terribly unfair that he have to come in from playing with friends to do bins or other chores when his friends don't. Overall it is far less than they are capable of, and I know many farm kids would do a lot more than my city kids. I wouldnt mind if we had more outdoor chores for them, but theres not much for them to do.

[Lucy in Australia]

This has been a bit of a vexing issue for us. Our boys definitely have far more chores than any of the kids in our street (whom they play with a lot). However, as I am always willing to point out to them, they have less chores than many other kids - just not the ones we spend a lot of time with :glare:. I have called them to read posts on this board more than once about other kids' work days in order to then discuss whether their life is in fact soooooo hard :nopity:.

 

The issue of outside chores has been difficult: both boys now say they don't want to do any outdoor work in the front of the house (normal stuff like raking leaves) because the other kids are always playing and think it's "weird" that they have to do work like that. So I try and schedule things so that they don't have to be an exhibit when they're doing chores. :rolleyes:

[Kris]

The issue of outside chores has been difficult: both boys now say they don't want to do any outdoor work in the front of the house (normal stuff like raking leaves) because the other kids are always playing and think it's "weird" that they have to do work like that. So I try and schedule things so that they don't have to be an exhibit when they're doing chores. :rolleyes:

 

You might find you'd get additional helpers! If the boy who lives across the road -- who has no chores at home -- shows up while we are working on something, he jumps right in, has a great attitude, and does a really good job.

[lynn]

According to my kids they do way to much. Here is pretty much what they do: tidy their rooms

-put away their own laundry(except my almost 16year old who does his own laundry

-they rotate garbage weeks so they have it once every 3 weeks

- set, clear and help wash and put away dishes

- rotate cleaning their bathroom, picking up the lr, vaccuum

- rotate yard work in the summer and some odds and ends like sweeping the front porch, washing cars

 

Is this to much considering the rotate most of it?

[Lizzie in Ma]

And I'm sticking with it. :)

Mentally I sigh and think to myself the old adage, "they will thank me in the long run".:D

They work mostly cheerfully and when they whine I award them more chores.

Quick little learners they can be.:lol:

[Harriet Vane]

I am not the greatest housekeeper, so our day to day reality shifts wildly based on how desperate the housekeeping situation has become. However, my kids do work pretty hard. People are often amazed when I say that my 7yods mops the kitchen floor, for example. Both kids do their own laundry, and when we have company coming everyone pitches in until the job's done. There is almost no housekeeping task my kids don't know how to do. They also help with a significant portion of the gardening. If they complain I say, "We all live in this house, so we all have to keep it clean."

[Pamela H in Texas]

Other than farm families, I would guess my kids have more responsibilities than almost any children. Our circumstances, and the fact that there are only two of them, demand it. However, even without the circumstances, they'd probably be at the higher end anyway. We were ones that started with "you can walk, you can work."

[Nestof3]

I'm not sure about my younger ones, but I do know many families where the children are not required to clean up their things, put their clothes away, etc, so perhaps so. Ben just started being required to bring the large trash cans in on trash day after they are emptied. He's my one that loves helping out -- it makes him feel special. Who knows how long this will last. :)

 

Our oldest worked full time and schooled independently through high school, so I would say he definitely had more responsibility that most his age. He started helping his Dad with twigs and little things when he was 10. Sometimes, he just played in the mulch or played with the customer's dog, but my husband wanted to expose him to his work world and ease him in.

 

Aaron agrees that it made him the man he is today. I used to have to check his bed (underneath the comforter to see if he actually pulled the sheet up), and we surely spent years getting him to do a job well-done, but it was worth it.

 

My mantra (ask my kids) is "You cannot reap the benefits of the family unless you contribute to the family." When I'm more teasing, I say, "No leeches allowed" or "No parasites."

[Nestof3]

Mentally I sigh and think to myself the old adage, "they will thank me in the long run".

 

Mine has! And, I think his wife may be pleased with his work ethic one day too. :)

[LisaKinVA]

Yes, my children have more responsibilities than pretty much every child in our neighborhood -- as well as scouts!

 

My 9yo is responsible for loading the dishwasher, he usually has some assistance from either the 6yo or the 5yo. We usually unload the dishes together, and the 3 oldest all put away parts of them.

 

The cat... 5yo does "poop patrol" looks for poop that didn't make it into the litter box, picks up any dirty housetraining pads (my 18yo kitty has gotten really picky), the 6yo makes sure she is watered, and puts out clean housetraining pads, the 9yo rolls the litter box and feeds the cat.

 

Bedrooms... each child makes their own bed (save the 2yo), puts their dirty clothes in the laundry basket, and puts their toys away. I usually have to help straighten books. They also help dust & vacuum.

 

Family Room... they all help police the area, and dust/vacuum.

 

Bathroom. I do the mirror, one child does the tub, the other the sinks, they fight over the toilet and the mopping. If the bathroom needs more than a basic wipe-down, the 9yo and I take care of it.

 

Laundry... they all help a bit with the laundry, sorting & loading mainly. Only the 9yo can run the washer and dryer right now. I'm looking forward to the new house in which they will all begin taking more responsibility for the laundry. I've broken things out this way:

 

5yo -- wash & dry sheets (everyone is responsible for getting their own to the LR), 7yo -- wash, dry & fold towels, 9yo -- wash, dry & fold jeans. I usually get them all to help hang up clothes on the hangers... now when can they begin to put away clothes effectively, I do not have a clue!

 

When we get to the new house, I plan to get these "dust mop socks" that the children can wear to dust mop the hardwood floors. They love sliding around, so that will be their chance!

[Friederike in Persia]

To save my image a bit, they're not that far of what the others have listed here so far, but because of where we live (a town in rural Tajikistan), their peers have to watch younger siblings A LOT, carry water from the tap at the end of the street to their house, help with the shopping from the bazaar,.... you get the picture.

My dc appreciate that they've got a good deal and ever so often ask to please get more chores:lol:

When I don't come up with something, they sometimes choose to dig out potatoes with the neighbours, or help peeling vegetables there, but in general they enjoy the much easier life, they've got.:thumbup1: