Being thankful for work vs arrogance

[Scarlett]

7 minutes ago, Lady Florida. said:

As someone who currently has a contractor working on the house so we can put it on the market, I'm the thankful one. It's very hard to get contractors for small jobs like ours. We had one who never returned two phone calls even though he was recommended by our realtor. We then remembered that our former neighbor (who isn't a friend but with whom we were friendly when he lived here), is a handyman contractor. He is quite busy but worked us in because he knows us, so possibly a similar situation to the OP. 

Right now he's on a break while his family goes out of town for Thanksgiving but he got as much done last week as possible. He'll finish next week and when he does we'll be the ones thanking him. We are extremely happy he was able to work us in on such short notice. And if he says something like "Glad I could get it done for you" we'll actually appreciate that comment too. Because he's a nice guy and he probably is glad he was able to work us in. He wouldn't be saying it out of arrogance (if he even says it, I'm just imagining the conversation when he's finished).

We don’t have the kind of problem getting help here. And I am thankful for the work he did.  As I told him several times.  

[EKS]

1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

I am also appreciative of my boss giving me a job.

The thing is, in this case, you are not his boss--you are his client.

[Scarlett]

Just now, EKS said:

The thing is, in this case, you are not his boss--you are his client.

Lol yes,  a client who gave him work.  

[SKL]

Maybe it's the tone or something if it rubs you the wrong way.

I've had people do that with a tone ... made me wanna kick them right out (only they would have charged me anyway LOL).  I respect everyone who does work for me, I only ask the same respect in return.  Usually this is not a problem.

[maize]

1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

Lol yes,  a client who gave him work.  

Scarlett, I truly do not understand.

Did you give him work as a favor to him or did you hire him to do work that you needed to have done and that you either could not or did not wish to do yourself?

Saying I gave someone work sounds to me like setting myself up as a benefactor, not acknowledging a mutually beneficial business transaction.

Edited November 26, 2019 by maize

[Scarlett]

4 hours ago, maize said:

Scarlett, I truly do not understand.

Did you give him work as a favor to him or did you hire him to do work that you needed to have done and that you either could not or did not wish to do yourself?

Saying I gave someone work sounds to me like setting myself up as a benefactor, not acknowledging a mutually beneficial business transaction.

I said all long it was a reciprocal relationship in which both parties should be thankful. He is the one who doesn’t act thankful and only like he is doing us a favor. But as he left I overheard him tell dh ‘thank you for the work. “ those exact words. 

 

[regentrude]

15 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

He is the one who doesn’t act thankful and only like he is doing us a favor. 

I am puzzled by the expectation that people who work for me should act thankful. They just need to do a good job on whatever I pay them to do. 

[Rosie_0801]

41 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I said all long it was a reciprocal relationship in which both parties should be thankful. He is the one who doesn’t act thankful and only like he is doing us a favor. But as he left I overheard him tell dh ‘thank you for the work. “ those exact words. 

 

 

If he has a man crush on your husband, he's probably doing him a favour, not you. You're benefiting from his affection for your husband.

[Matryoshka]

41 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I said all long it was a reciprocal relationship in which both parties should be thankful. He is the one who doesn’t act thankful and only like he is doing us a favor. But as he left I overheard him tell dh ‘thank you for the work. “ those exact words. 

I am sooooo confused.

You want him to be thankful for the work.  He literally says "thank you for the work", and you think that's arrogant?

What would being thankful look like to you?  I don't think it's at all necessary for a contractor to expressly thank you for the work, but if they say thank you, I think they mean thank you, not the opposite!    How does 'thank you for the work' translate into 'you're so lucky I deigned to do this for you?'   I just can't figure out how this guy could win if actually coming out and saying 'thank you' isn't thankful?

Unless, as someone else said, there's a huge snark tone we're all missing because we don't have an audio.  But the words themselves are, well, a thank you, not 'you should thank me', which is how you seem to be interpreting it? 

[Scarlett]

33 minutes ago, Matryoshka said:

I am sooooo confused.

You want him to be thankful for the work.  He literally says "thank you for the work", and you think that's arrogant?

What would being thankful look like to you?  I don't think it's at all necessary for a contractor to expressly thank you for the work, but if they say thank you, I think they mean thank you, not the opposite!    How does 'thank you for the work' translate into 'you're so lucky I deigned to do this for you?'   I just can't figure out how this guy could win if actually coming out and saying 'thank you' isn't thankful?

Unless, as someone else said, there's a huge snark tone we're all missing because we don't have an audio.  But the words themselves are, well, a thank you, not 'you should thank me', which is how you seem to be interpreting it? 

I think you missed a few posts. 

[Bluegoat]

I took Scarlett in the original comments to mean it was the other parts of the man's statements that seemed off.  Not, thanks for the work, but glad I could fit you in, and glad I could give you such a good price. If someone always said stuff like that, and depending on the tone, it might give the impression the person was almost put out by your asking them to do the job, maybe they felt they had to give up more lucrative contracts for example.  Like they were trying to create a sort of indebtedness.