shanvan Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 Things look a little different here. Came back today to search for Mrs Mungo's Oatmeal recipe. I'll be in and out as I revamp Dd's final years of high school. We have had a crazy couple of years. First I was caring for our 94 year old friend who was really like my father. He died a little over a year ago and I was an executor to his estate. Now I am the caretaker for my Dh who was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's in February of this year. It was and wasn't a surprise since his behavior has been off for several years. As I deal with his disease progression I am also attempting to get Dd's schooling back on track. But I just wanted to pop in and say 'Hi' for now. It's been a while. 9 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 Wow, you've had quite a rough time of it. I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 I remember you! I am sorry for the difficult things you have and are going through. I think there was another member here whose DH has Early Onset Alzheimers, but I don’t recall who. I hope you have good supports in place. That must be very hard. You may know this but Mrs. Mungo has not been around here in a long while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 40 minutes ago, shanvan said: I am the caretaker for my Dh who was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's in February of this year. I'm so sorry to hear this. It sounds like you've been very busy and brave and are working hard! What a big adjustment. Is this the kind of thing that is genetic? Or it just happens? So for getting your dd on track, do you need anything? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted June 21, 2018 Author Share Posted June 21, 2018 I don't remember how to multi-quote! Quill- I did know that Mrs Mungo has been gone for quite a while. Lots of others too. PeterPan-- Don't need anything right now. I sent her to stay with a friend halfway across the country, and she is working for part of this summer there. I am still sorting out legal and financial stuff. Waiting for Permanent disability to be approved. Once I am done with the estate planning and elder care attorney then I will consider what I have here to use with her and what I want to accomplish with her. She's a very different kid from Ds, so I need a different plan, and under the circumstances, I am really going to be focusing on what is important, not only for school, but for life. Her high school will be mostly get-it-done high school, not like Ds's at all. Part of that is b/c of circumstances and part of that is b/c I realize how much unnecessary time and money I wasted on things that really did not matter for Ds's schooling. soror- the diagnosis was a relief. At least it explained why Dh was behaving like a jerk for so long. He just could not handle anything. He was an accountant and refused to do our Ds FAFSA. Told me to do it myself since I am home and don't do anything all day. That was almost 3 years ago. I almost had a breakdown over that. Dh always took care of finances and I had no idea where to even find the answers to anything for the FAFSA! It didn't occur to me at the time that he was sick. I thought he had just turned into a selfish jerk. He didn't seem concerned in any way, either. That was so odd to me. I was up at night with knots in my stomach and he just slept like a baby. Multiply that incident by every single thing you might ever need your spouse for. HE refused to see a doctor and I had to trick him to get him evaluated. When he realized where we were going he told me he was going to tell the doctor what a --- I am and began listing all my offenses. I had to take over all of our finances about a year and a half ago and we had a negative balance in our checking account. He had us very near to bankruptcy. There's more, but I will spare all of you. I don't enjoy reliving it. Alzheimer's is a cruel disease, for the patient, and maybe even more for the family and caregiver. Yes, it has been a rough time. Caregiving for our 94 year old friend was easy comparatively. I miss him so much. He was my best friend. He was a cooperative and easy patient and grateful for everything. None of which applies to my Dh now--though he cannot help it. This is what Alzheimer's has turned him into. 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 That is heartbreaking. And it honestly feels ominous to me because my DH has become pretty rigid and I just don’t think it bodes well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 Shanvan!! It is so great to see you. I am so sorry about your dh's dx. I know it's a relief to have an explanation for his behavior, but it still cannot be easy. I've been worried about my dh too - although his is most likely due to a TBI about 5yrs ago. His personality has changed for the worse... but it's up and down.. never consistently one way or the other. Also, I noticed that he is better when our adult children are around. In one way that's good... but in another way I'm sad that our youngest is getting a different dad than his siblings. Sigh. sorry - don't mean to hijack your thread, but what you wrote struck a chord with me. I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 Shannon, this is tough news but it sounds like you are managing it. Please come back here more often again and vent when you need to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 Hi, welcome back huge hugs I know someone who's Dh had early onset Alzheimer's. the decline was pretty sudden - he has to be in a nursing home now - very hard for the family and very sad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 Hi, other Shannon! I'm so sorry to hear about your DH. I hope you have some support for yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 Hi Shanvan, it is always nice to see old faces again. I'm sorry to hear about your friend and your dh both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mominco Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 (((hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted June 22, 2018 Share Posted June 22, 2018 21 hours ago, shanvan said: HE refused to see a doctor and I had to trick him to get him evaluated. How do they diagnose it? Is it a blood test or assumed based on symptoms or? (I have so many odd memory problems myself, that's why I ask.) I'm sorry it has gotten so hard. Did they start him on medications? Is there anything to stabilize it? And is it genetic? And yes, that's the irony with ds. His autism is less severe than some people's, but because he's so capable (high IQ), he's harder to work with than some kids who are more severely affected. It must be very hard to be losing your faculties and not know it. But then, with the diagnosis process, was it concrete enough that he accepted it? Or does he fight it? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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