Chris in VA Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 My daughter has been dating a young man for two years. We know him very well, he has stayed with us, and he will be here again for several days after Xmas. He is in the Air Force. His family used to live down the street a bit but they are AF too, and moved about a year and a half ago. Last year, I gave his mom an orchid when he left here (he stayed for several days for New Year's). There was some tension between his parents and him bc they wanted him longer, and I wrote a short note with the orchid, just thanking his mom and telling her I knew it's kinda hard to let adult kids make their own decisions. Anyway,... This year I would like to send dd's bf's family a little food gift, like maybe some caramel apples (Mrs. Prindables). I have actually never met them. So is it weird to do that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderchica Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 What was the reaction to your last gift? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 I think that's a lovely gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 Not at all. Very thoughtful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acadie Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 I think it's a really lovely gesture! I'd keep it friendly and light, and probably wouldn't refer this year to any tension you may hear of, since that's between them and their son. You get to just be warm and welcoming with these people who may one day be your dd's inlaws! Amy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 5, 2017 Author Share Posted December 5, 2017 Thank you. The mom told me thank you "for the thoughtful gift" last year. They are a family with 4 boys, so I was thinking some fun food might be nice. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cave canem Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 I think it would be very nice to send a gift. If someone I had not met implying that she knew how I felt about a matter between me and my son, I think I would find it patronizing. Acknowledging that missing our kids is hard is one thing, but noting that the kid's being with the new family rather then the kid's own family is his decision could seem like rubbing it in. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 no, it's not weird. weird would be something extravagantly expensive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
underthebridge Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 Agree with everyone - very thoughtful and not weird at all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 You win! This is my favorite title. One wonders what will be so weird :laugh: .I would be delighted with carmel apples, anytime. Definitely not weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 5, 2017 Author Share Posted December 5, 2017 I think it would be very nice to send a gift. If someone I had not met implying that she knew how I felt about a matter between me and my son, I think I would find it patronizing. Acknowledging that missing our kids is hard is one thing, but noting that the kid's being with the new family rather then the kid's own family is his decision could seem like rubbing it in. I agree it could seem that way. However, I knew how she felt because she said so. While I stayed out of the discussion, I just wanted her to know I get it. I had a similar situation and just wanted to empathize mom to mom. But thanks for telling me it could have been perceived as patronizing, because I did not think of that. I'm not good at this stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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