Grounding for depersonalization

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Dd's therapy is financially out of reach so we're going to have dive deep into the resources we have at home.

 

(I've considered homeschooling and cutting the internet costs, but the cyber provides way more therapies than the cost of internet. Both kids have OT and a BCBA. Ds has speech and a 1:1 math teacher. School provides Barton for me/him. Dd has a daily success coach, and will have some form of counseling. School also sends $120 3x a year to supplement tech costs)

 

I have 2 DBT books, Spark, and the World Wide Web. She'll be doing yoga, but it's only once a week at the Y.

 

This week we're going to make a coping box. It'll have her reptile coloring books, pencils, paper, paint, some very light and fluffy books to read, etc.

 

One thing I can't find too much info on is the depersonalization. The grounding techniques include things like focusing on and describing an object. That actually makes it worse for her.

 

She needs to NOT focus on a single or small thing, but rather pull back and think light, fluffy, big (but not too big) picture.

 

Any ideas? :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

Some meditative type of music to just listen to?  Or to color while listening to? 

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I want to keep it non electronic. Her computer wasn't working one night and she curled up and cried herself to sleep. :(

[PeterPan]

Have you thought about going more sensory for her box? Things she can feel. Like soak her feet and then rub them with a pumice stone. A pumice stone is super cheap ($1 at walmart) and it's really good sensory input. She can use her mindfulness and focus on how feels as she rubs her feet. Same thing with a pulsing jet, a scratchy wash cloth, or a loofa. Rub the spot and put words to how it feels (This is my arm, it feels scratchy. This is my knee, it hurts. This is my stomach, it feels hot.) So getting more connected to herself converging sensory input and mindfulness. 

 

Light and fluffy sounds like more ways to forget/escape. 

 

It's a lot of work to be very in the moment. She might only do it for a few minutes or a minute and then stop. Then try again later. Don't wear out with a marathon session, kwim? Like pick 4 body parts to do with the scan/mindfulness/sensory input techniques, and then stop. Little bits at a time.

[Guest]

Going for a jog. No thinking, just one foot in front of the other. Knitting or handsewing works similarly.

 

Also, just accepting it. "Hmm I'm not 'in' my head right now. Interesting."

 

TV is great for this imo. Zoning out not hyperfocussing on what's going on in your brain right now... It can bridge the gap from here to there.

 

Sing at the top of your lungs and dance around. If you're not you, pretend you're Mariah Carey cause why not :)

 

They won't all always work, but maybe there's some ideas to start thinking through.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Have you thought about going more sensory for her box? Things she can feel. Like soak her feet and then rub them with a pumice stone. A pumice stone is super cheap ($1 at walmart) and it's really good sensory input. She can use her mindfulness and focus on how feels as she rubs her feet. Same thing with a pulsing jet, a scratchy wash cloth, or a loofa. Rub the spot and put words to how it feels (This is my arm, it feels scratchy. This is my knee, it hurts. This is my stomach, it feels hot.) So getting more connected to herself converging sensory input and mindfulness. 

 

Light and fluffy sounds like more ways to forget/escape. 

 

It's a lot of work to be very in the moment. She might only do it for a few minutes or a minute and then stop. Then try again later. Don't wear out with a marathon session, kwim? Like pick 4 body parts to do with the scan/mindfulness/sensory input techniques, and then stop. Little bits at a time.

 

Yes, I was looking at some little sensory things too. :)

 

I don't necessarily want her to just escape, but get through the moment, and come back. Once she realizes she's moving towards derealization (I know they're different, but she seems to go between depersonalization and derealization), it freaks her anxiety. So just being able to escape for a moment for anxiety purposes, then gently go towards mindfulness. If that makes any sense. 

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Going for a jog. No thinking, just one foot in front of the other. Knitting or handsewing works similarly.

 

Also, just accepting it. "Hmm I'm not 'in' my head right now. Interesting."

 

TV is great for this imo. Zoning out not hyperfocussing on what's going on in your brain right now... It can bridge the gap from here to there.

 

Sing at the top of your lungs and dance around. If you're not you, pretend you're Mariah Carey cause why not :)

 

They won't all always work, but maybe there's some ideas to start thinking through.

 

Thanks for the ideas!

 

This is mostly a night issue, so no jogging. She's seeing a rheumatologist to rule out any serious causes of her joint pain and swelling. She loves crocheting, but that hurts her wrists after a little. I am adding exercise cards to the box/idea list. She can do pushups inclined on the stairs and is able to not strain her wrists. And jumping jacks don't hurt her afterwards like running. Sit ups are also really good because none of that hurts, beyond her poor weak core.

 

She does now either watch something on YouTube or plays Osu. I want to move away from electronics. 

[Guest]

I see yeah I was going to say tossing a ball (rhythmic, no thinking) but the physical limitations make that hard too. Poor girl :(

 

I know one that taps her fingers against her her thumb or blinks to keep the beat while humming Beethoven's 9th repeatedly. Or silently counts to a set number while consciously visualizing the number written in her mind....any time she can't completely "see" the digit in her minds eye, she starts over.

[Guest]

Oh! Do you have a pet that likes to be pet?

 

Or a swing? Or a rocking chair? The physical movement of it can be helpful, especially if coupled with something else.

[PeterPan]

I made up a mindfulness game to do with my ds that I think I later read in print somewhere. You could try it with your dd. I put a blanket over him and a I play Name the Mystery Body Part. As parents, we can tap, but I think in the book they were saying to use a magic wand, maybe no blanket, etc. I like the blanket and the mystery. Anyways, you just tap through the blanket, very gently, and have them respond. So like you tap where you know their head is (tap 3 times) and they say that is my head, it feels _______. And at first they don't know how it feels, so you give them a list of words. It feels fuzzy, it feels hot, it feels... Then maybe you tap their shoulders, and they reply that is my shoulder, it feels... And again, if they don't have words, you give them words.

 

They DON'T have to have the words and it's not a test. The very ACT of trying to figure out how that body part feels is an act of mindfulness. Just the fact that they're TRYING activates those pathways in the brain and has value. 

 

And you know, don't belabor it. Just try it with 3 or 4 body parts, kwim? It's just the act, the effort. A small amount can make a difference. You could have a bunch of ways to work on mindfulness, a list, and rotate through them. Like try 3-4 times a day, but each time do it a different way. Maybe in the morning play the tapping game, after lunch do a track from Sitting Like a Frog, and before bed do a more traditional body scan. If you were to get software like Mighteor, you could do it for one of the sessions.

 

Another thing I do with my ds is not to ask for a word. Sometimes instead I use a number system. Like I'll just say on a scale of 1-10, how intense? That he can give me, even if he doesn't have words. You're saying she has joint pain and RA symptoms, so you could do some mindfulness and techniques with that. Pick 3-4 places where you know she often has pain, and sit down and do a joint survey. She closes her eyes, focuses on the first joint, and gives you a number (how intense, 1-10). Record that for your data, just because hey it's data and it might show something interesting. In your data table, record date, name of joint, level #. Then do some *humming* focusing her energy on the joint. Yes, it sounds weird. But it's free and just try it, kwim? So you hum, focusing on that joint. She can hum. Now take data again on the joint, what is the number? Record that and move on to the next joint.

 

If she has RA and is dissociating, maybe her pain is overwhelming her. If you found a psych or counselor who specializes in pain who does CBT, they could teach her techniques like this. It would make sense that a person who is having chronic pain who has autism and hence an inability to put what their bodies are feeling into words would begin to dissociate. It's a very scary thing and not something she can snap out of on her own. 

[Rosie_0801]

Maybe weaving would be easier on her wrists than crochet? You could get a little inkle loom, perhaps, and pair it with the Tamora Pierce books about the weaving mage?

[Dmmetler]

Does she actually have a reptile? If not, and if you're up for it, a ball python may be good. I know quite a few people who have anxiety issues who find the living weight of the snake helpful (and balls are slow moving enough that you can just sit with the snake) and that having the animal to focus on helps.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I can't afford any pets right now. :(

 

A few other things happened in the last 6 months that would have me hesitate even if I could afford it.

[nixpix5]

I worked with a girl who found that changes in temperature were helpful. She got an ice cube tray that made heart shaped ice and she would hold them and rub the rounded edges. Sometimes she would keep various textured stones in the refrigerator and pull them out to hold.

[fairfarmhand]

Is there a way to rig a swing to the ceiling? Seems that going back and forward while focusing on breathing would be soothing.

 

 

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[PeterPan]

We do that with varieties of temps and textures too. We use ice cubes, rough brushes, gentle brushes, etc., and we do it on his feet. Very calming later, but in the moment he needs some distraction from it. There have been some studies on that showing the variety does something good in the brain.

[Pen]

if music would help other than electronic aspect, then maybe she could learn some songs to sing and sing them at such times.

 

How about "butterfly technique" ?   arms cross each other over chest and alternately tap left hand, right hand on shoulders