Guest Posted May 17, 2017 Share Posted May 17, 2017 I toyed with the idea of calling it an introvert group or somehow working that part in. Would that be very off putting to you? Not me...OH HELL I'd jump on that. LOL Low key...I like that. I can't crochet or anything, but even sitting among people doing whatever. I get along with people and am not really shy, but it takes me 100,000 years to get to know people and feel comfortable with them. This is me exactly. I am an introvert but I'm not shy. I joke that the reason I cannot move somewhere else is because it took me twenty years to make the friends I have here. But I am not certain it would be beneficial to "target" introverts for the whole group. The most stable groups I belong to/have belonged to benefit from the mix of personalities. It is possible the cooking club fizzled because it was organized by an introvert and populated that way, too. My Bunco group has a good mix of I/E and I think this is why it has lasted for almost 20 years. The core group that has lasted that long are mostly Es. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted May 17, 2017 Author Share Posted May 17, 2017 This is me exactly. I am an introvert but I'm not shy. I joke that the reason I cannot move somewhere else is because it took me twenty years to make the friends I have here. But I am not certain it would be beneficial to "target" introverts for the whole group. The most stable groups I belong to/have belonged to benefit from the mix of personalities. It is possible the cooking club fizzled because it was organized by an introvert and populated that way, too. My Bunco group has a good mix of I/E and I think this is why it has lasted for almost 20 years. The core group that has lasted that long are mostly Es. True, but I am an extrovert magnet. Every friend I have ever had was a major extrovert. An in you face, loud talking, controlling, call me 100,000 times a day, never plan ahead, extrovert. I can't take it. LOL They were great people, but just HOW was I friends with them. Probably because they had a lot of stamina! :laugh: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted May 17, 2017 Share Posted May 17, 2017 True, but I am an extrovert magnet. Every friend I have ever had was a major extrovert. An in you face, loud talking, controlling, call me 100,000 times a day, never plan ahead, extrovert. I can't take it. LOL They were great people, but just HOW was I friends with them. Probably because they had a lot of stamina! :laugh: I am also an extrovert magnet. Mine are usually the chatty extroverts. I fine... I don't like to talk too much (esp. about myself!) and they seem to thrive on it. It's usually a symbiotic relationship. When I was in high school I was best friends with the class president. LOL. Most people had no idea who I was. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted May 17, 2017 Author Share Posted May 17, 2017 I am also an extrovert magnet. Mine are usually the chatty extroverts. I fine... I don't like to talk too much (esp. about myself!) and they seem to thrive on it. It's usually a symbiotic relationship. When I was in high school I was best friends with the class president. LOL. Most people had no idea who I was. Yes my best friend from high school became a news reporter. She was bubbly, social, loud, etc. It's comical as heck that we were friends at all. We remained friends through college too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 17, 2017 Share Posted May 17, 2017 True, but I am an extrovert magnet. Every friend I have ever had was a major extrovert. An in you face, loud talking, controlling, call me 100,000 times a day, never plan ahead, extrovert. I can't take it. LOL They were great people, but just HOW was I friends with them. Probably because they had a lot of stamina! :laugh: See, that's interesting. I have had many super extroverted friends and, in my teen years, boyfriends. I believe this is because those were the people who pursued being my friend or having me as a gf. My major social shortcoming is that I'm not much of a pursuer myself. I don't telephone people (not as big of an obstacle as it used to be), I don't have that felt need to get together so it could be months that pass without someone hearing a word from me. If my would-be friend is another introvert, this is how those friendships never get off the ground. One of my best friends is on the same scale of introversion as me and, in a way, I say our friendship was life-supported in the beginning by another mutual friend who was an exteeme extrovert. So, I got to know my I friend in the context of our mutual friend E always organizing activities and thing where we both attended. This is how we found out we have so much in common and are very similar people. This is why I say the mix is useful. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted May 17, 2017 Share Posted May 17, 2017 <snip> Something where the attention is on a "thing" and not the people attending. This!!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SamanthaCarter Posted May 17, 2017 Share Posted May 17, 2017 (edited) My dh likes to joke about how I only like to socialize when there is an agenda. He can tell the difference (in my state of mental health) when I come home from an event with no stated goal and from something where we got something done or learned something. Recent events I found enjoyable were a clothing swap for ladies in our church, a class on vermiculture, a ladies tea that had a seminar component, helping at a community garden, Christmas cookie swap, church workday. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Edited May 17, 2017 by SamanthaCarter 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted May 17, 2017 Share Posted May 17, 2017 True, but I am an extrovert magnet. Every friend I have ever had was a major extrovert. An in you face, loud talking, controlling, call me 100,000 times a day, never plan ahead, extrovert. Just want to point out that being in your face, loud, controlling, calling often, and never planning ahead do NOT belong to the signs of being an extrovert. It is entirely possible to be an extrovert who plans ahead, is not controlling, and rarely calls. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted May 17, 2017 Share Posted May 17, 2017 (edited) As an introvert, I like tennis. You're on opposite sides of the court, have a purpose, can be competitive (within reason), get exercise, have regularly scheduled court times, can play with different people, and leave when done. You get just enough chatting done when switching sides and walking on and off the court. It can be done with either two people or multiples of 2 or 4. A weekly ladies' league is great for socialization. It's practically perfect. Anyone of any age (barring some physical limitation) can learn to play tennis. -- How about starting a community garden? Planting, weeding, tending, harvesting - there is a purpose, lots of hands on work but just enough time to chat and socialize without sitting around trying to fill up the quiet. Or an outdoor club (not just hiking) - learn Leave No Trace, do environmental clean up, learn about the flora and fauna of a particular area, build owl boxes and take them to a local nature area.. Edited May 17, 2017 by Scoutermom 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted May 17, 2017 Author Share Posted May 17, 2017 As an introvert, I like tennis. You're on opposite sides of the court, have a purpose, can be competitive (within reason), get exercise, have regularly scheduled court times, can play with different people, and leave when done. You get just enough chatting done when switching sides and walking on and off the court. It can be done with either two people or multiples of 2 or 4. A weekly ladies' league is great for socialization. It's practically perfect. Anyone of any age (barring some physical limitation) can learn to play tennis. -- How about starting a community garden? Planting, weeding, tending, harvesting - there is a purpose, lots of hands on work but just enough time to chat and socialize without sitting around trying to fill up the quiet. Or an outdoor club (not just hiking) - learn Leave No Trace, do environmental clean up, learn about the flora and fauna of a particular area, build owl boxes and take them to a local nature area.. I am terrible at sports and dislike gardening. I have bad allergies for one thing. Outdoor anything is highly problematic due to that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted May 17, 2017 Share Posted May 17, 2017 It sounds like a great idea! Maybe it could be meet ups and different things at different times--because some introverts like games, but others like hiking, or gardening, or sewing .... . And different ages can do different things. Yet it is true that all do seem to have a basically different way we like to socialize than do extroverts. At least initially I'd want something in a place I would feel safe at... in public, not someone's house ... places to sit down and talk ... but also maybe something to do or look at while getting comfortable with the situation. Personally, maybe something like a community organic garden with benches to sit on and displays to walk around and look at, and maybe suitable to take kids to also. Maybe a bring your own food picnic somewhere pleasant for the purpose of organizing such a thing, rather than trying initially for a type of activity? Maybe starting as a yahoo group or some such so that there could be posts by people suggesting other introvert meet-ups, but maybe some way to try to keep the group safe in terms of membership... Cool! Wish it were happening in my area and I could go. Maybe someday I'll try to start something like that myself! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted May 17, 2017 Share Posted May 17, 2017 If outdoors is not good for you, maybe something at a museum or library? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonhawk Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 Art group, where there is like a still life set up and you can bring your own art supplies depending on what you want to do: charcoal, acrylics, etc. An hour or 2 hour window to draw whatever is set for that week. Snacks during and after, can display the pieces at the end and talk about what you did, why you chose the medium, your angle or focus or whatever. Maybe have ideas for take-home assignments that people can bring in at the meeting to show how they interpreted it. Like "unexpected light source" or "hiding a secret." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 (edited) Things I would like- small group, cozy gathering spot but not cramped. Areas of interest- -book club -board games -hiking or outdoor stuff- I always think I'd love to join the garden club when I'm older -movie & dinner (so there isn't pressure to talk a bunch and you can ease into it w/ movie first) -arts & crafts for people who suck at it :) IRL I do see things pop up that I might be interested in but I generally skip them because I value quiet down time at home above meeting new people at this point in my life. My friend card is pretty small and already full. For me, I'd rather just have some time w/ friends and people I know, constantly meeting new people is a stress to me. Edited May 18, 2017 by soror 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samba Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 What about checking to see if your library or extension office offers anything you might be interested in attending? I am always amazed by the number of people who show up to learn about canning or basket weaving or any other number of things I thought only a handful of people might like. Even if you just go once or twice I assume you are trying to find a way to meet some like minded new friends. This is a great idea! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted May 18, 2017 Author Share Posted May 18, 2017 Art group, where there is like a still life set up and you can bring your own art supplies depending on what you want to do: charcoal, acrylics, etc. An hour or 2 hour window to draw whatever is set for that week. Snacks during and after, can display the pieces at the end and talk about what you did, why you chose the medium, your angle or focus or whatever. Maybe have ideas for take-home assignments that people can bring in at the meeting to show how they interpreted it. Like "unexpected light source" or "hiding a secret." ohhh nice...I do love art I am not super awesome at art, but I don't even care. I really enjoy stuff like that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samba Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 ohhh nice...I do love art I am not super awesome at art, but I don't even care. I really enjoy stuff like that. I'm not good at art either, but it's something I'd like to explore. And people will be focused on their projects rather than each other so not as awkward. I really like this idea. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted May 18, 2017 Author Share Posted May 18, 2017 I'm not good at art either, but it's something I'd like to explore. And people will be focused on their projects rather than each other so not as awkward. I really like this idea. I did find a somewhat local meetup based on art, but they are filled up (they have a 50 member limit). The library does an adult coloring night. So maybe once my kids' activities wind down I'll try that. I did find some stuff I'm interested in trying, but right now my kids have rehearsals 3-4 days a week so there was always a conflict with the time. Those will be done mid June though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 Well, there is no reason the group has to stay the same forever. I used to belong to a rug hooking group, it really saved my sanity after my eldest was born. After my second child was born I didn't get much hooking done, but I still went for the social aspect. There is a ukelele group that meets near my house once a month, in a pub. They play songs and sing along. Pretty much any skill level is welcome, some people only know the c chord! I think a board game group would be really fun. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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