Dianne-TX Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 I know this might sound ridiculous, but I'm really not sure. My ds is 7 (almost 8 in Dec.). Ever since he was a baby and toddler, he has never been specifically interested in certain types of toys. He wasn't one of those boys who had every Thomas the Tank engine or Hotwheels or played with Legos for hours. Don't get me wrong, he didn't/doesn't loathe toys and will play with what he has at times, but he doesn't "love" anything to ask for something. He loves being outside and being physical. He also likes being creative with his sister and they pretend a lot of different things together. He has Lincoln Logs, Tinkertoys, Lego passenger airplane, Knex remote cars, etc., but doesn't just sit down and play with them very often at all. The Legos airplane and Knex frustrate him, but he will stick with it (tears and all) and we end up helping him too. He's always had me guessing, from day one. :) The same thing happens with books. He doesn't have a specific type of book/series he is interested in. He just recently became interested in the Nate the Great series and that excited me! But, he's read all of the ones at our library. I help him along all the time with his choices for toys and books. I will tell him to go play with his Lincoln Logs and he will, but not on his own. I just want him to direct himself and show interest. Did I do something wrong along the way? Can I do something to help him now? Are there other boys like this and if so, what do you do as their parent? Any tips and advice would be appreciated. I've really been thinking about this with Christmas coming and really want to find something he'll like and be interested in and is a meaningful item. BTW, when I ask him what he likes, he doesn't really offer much help. If I ask him about something specifically, he answers "yeah, that's okay." Thanks for any help... (sorry this ran long) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E_Edgerton Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 Firstly, no need to apologize...once you have been here longer you will realize no post is too long. As for your dilemma. My little brother is like this, he just turned 9. He is a great little guy, but he isn't 'in love' with any one type of thing. He just seems to 'like' a lot of things. He seems to have a little bit of interest in a couple of things that he will engage in sometimes. I don't really know if there is any one thing you can do to change this. I like to think that his true passions have simply not revealed themselves. He is still quite young...and I am sure that as more is presented to him and he develops his character more, he will find things he likes (speaking for both my brother and your son here) As for Christmas ideas...ask him to make a list of things he may enjoy receiving. Let him think about it, he may surprise you. Good luck and keep posting. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 My son is 11. He has just now developed some strong interests. The things he is interested in require more advanced skills and knowledge - he couldn't have enjoyed these things earlier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 ...like a polite, active, well-rounded little boy. Count your blessings! Those children who have one overwhelming interest can sometimes be difficult to get to learn about other things. While your son just may turn out to be a Renaissance man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 Count your blessings. Really, Legos are expensive. He likes to play outside and pretend play, I think you know his interests. It's terrific that he doesn't require alot of stuff to have a good time. Some kids are just like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natalieclare Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 My sister in law said she envied my husband and her other sister as a child because they both were so passionate about their interests. She never had consuming passions. Now she sees that she is an easy going, laid back adult...much moreso than her siblings. :001_smile: I agree with Jean--your son is still young enough to develop some strong interests in time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alana in Canada Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 How does he do with art? Drawing, painting, etc? How about puppets? Does he like to make up stories? My son loves his Bionicles--and I worry about it. Being "attached" to toys is a prelude to being attached to bigger, more expensive toys as an adult. It's worrisome to me. My daughter is more like your son--extremely sociable. She loves anything she can play with someone else. Games, cards, and just running around the back yard with friends--that's her idea of a great time. Perhaps an appropriate Christmas gift would be a family outing --or an outing with his friends-- hth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 My sister is 25 and she's still pretty much like that. I've always put it down to her being a Libra... I guess some people aren't boisterous with their interests. I've always found this hard to understand, as I'll inflict mine on anyone I can! :) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Academy of Jedi Arts Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 I don't have a boy, but my dd7 has never really played with toys much. Even when she does play with them, it's using them in her pretend universe, not the way they were intended. She does have interests though. A good way to find out what your kid is interested in them and help them develop a strong sense of self is talking and asking questions. What did you like about that movie? Why is x your favorite show? What's your favorite game to play with your friends? Which one of your friends do you think is more like/unlike you and why? Your son will probably enjoy asking you questions too. As for Christmas gifts, I let mine go to Amazon, Target, and other websites and make lists of what she wants from those. She knows she won't get everything she lists, but it's a good way for me to get ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dianne-TX Posted October 12, 2008 Author Share Posted October 12, 2008 He does take an art class and really likes it. He will draw on his own sometimes. Maybe a really nice art case would be a good gift. It's funny that he enjoys something quiet like that because he's not an introverted, quiet child. I am glad he truly enjoys it and just doesn't say, "Yeah, it's okay." I've thought about puppets, but mainly for his sister who is an actress in training and loves drama. :) They both love plays. I guess he enjoys the arts, but will also enjoy physical and typical "boy stuff". Maybe he will be a Renaissance Man! :) I was already thinking about taking just him to the store and letting him look at everything and telling me what interests him, but of course he wouldn't get everything. We recently told both of them the truth about Santa, so they know it's us. It will make it easier, actually, because it will make sense to him that we need to know what interests him instead of just believing that Santa already knows. :) Thanks for the encouragement and telling me about adults who were like this as children and how they turned out. I have to say it makes me anxious sometimes, but it helps to be reminded that he is who he is and it will be okay. I appreciate you guys taking the time to help me out, as always. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmamainva Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 My 9 year old is like that! He's the hardest one to buy for because he likes everything 'okay' but nothing really excites him. He loves unusual gifts. The "I Spy" / "Where's Waldo" type books are some of his favorites. He loves puzzles and figuring things out. I'm seriously considering giving him a chemistry set this year -- and I hope he won't blow the house up! :lol: He also likes typical 'active boy' toys. He has a pedal go-cart that he loves to take down the driveway. Rollerblades and skateboards are another favorite of his. He likes footballs and basketballs and baseballs...he's now into wearing those team jerseys, so he'll be getting one of those. Keep the ideas coming, everyone!! I'm making a list! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 Ug. I was/am that way and so is my oldest and 6th dc. It's not that we don't have interests. It's that we are interested to some degree in everything. I'd go nuts with only 1 or 2 interests. I like to discuss and learn about everything. We're the kind of people that never fit in polls or aptitude tests. It stinks much of the time because the world likes people to fit in the pegs and we're really rather happy jumping from peg to peg and rather unhappy stagnating in any one peg. I wouldn't worry about it. In fact, the most unpleasant thing I remember growing up this way was that everyone was always trying to force me to get an interest or a hobby or to join this or that peg. I didn't mind trying new things, but I deeply resented the notion that I had to become consumed by it. I resented it because that meant I couldn't be doing new things in other new areas - which is really what I enjoy. I was the same with social groups. I never cared one bit about fitting in any certain clique because that would have excluded me from meeting people from all the other dynamics. How boring!:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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