Guest Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 I think you might be right. Even though we have books none of us were there in the 1800s. It's possible that I'm just a pansey and that women were breaking their backs 20 hours a day, every day. I am probably a pansey for assorted other reasons anyway, LOL. It's just that we have so much more on our plates today in part because of dishwashers and washing machines (the fact that those things are the norm has hugely inflated what is expected in terms of appearance/ clothing for example). I couldn't do many of the things they did in the 1800's if I wanted to. Should we have exactly 2 toys, one set of clothes and live in a one room shack? I don't know. The society we live in is not set up that way. I don't think you are a pansy. Life expectancy was quite a bit shorter and it wasn't just mortality in childbirth causing it. Women, especially poor women, often died young. The work load was part of that equation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lanalouwho Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 I am not a good housekeeper. But the few things that help me keep our house in semi-decent condition are: 1. If they are old enough to pull all of the toys out, then they are old enough to put them all back. (It takes some hand-holding at first, but both my 2 and 5 year old can put their toys away without my help now) 2. Set 3 priority tasks. Mine are 1) everything off the floor. 2) no overflowing dishes. I don't care if a few things are sitting in there, but if they don't fit in the sink it's a problem. 3) table cleared and wiped down. Everything else can wait until tomorrow. Or next week. Or when these monsters move out. It'll be okay. Sent from my HTCD200LVW using Tapatalk 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 I do not think we have "so much more on our plates". Doing laundry in a washing machine takes 5 minutes to throw things into the washer and 5 minutes to take them out; for the rest of the time the machine works. You can do many times as much laundry as back than and still not have near the backbreaking work that is doing laundry by hand in a tub. How does the dishwasher create extra work? Loading and unloading takes far less time than doing dishes by hand. I have not lived in the 1800s, but I remember the household tasks that were there when I grew up and when I was a young adult in my own apartment. Heating alone was a time consuming chore: start the day early in the morning by emptying the ash from the ovens and carrying it down three flights of stairs. Carry coal buckets up the stairs from the cellar. Start the fire in the oven, which would be warm several hours later. Oh, and the dirt this created everywhere! A lot more cleaning was necessary to get rid of ash and coal dust in the living room. Now, you turn a knob on the thermostat, or if it's programmed don't have to do even that to have a clean source of heat that generates no dirt whatsoever in the house. No way do I have "more on my plate" than my grandmothers did. We are still wood fire heated. I have to say when we've stayed in places with reverse cycle and dryers life was way way easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 I think people do have more on their plates in some ways. Our standards for many kinds of activities have changed. Our expected availability for things has changed. Things like electric lights mean we expect to work late, or do things other than sleep. The level of cleanliness, even fashion-forwardness, expected, has gone up. Child rearing has become much more intensive. The amount of stuff we have makes a significant difference I think. I don't have to spend a whole day each week on back-breaking laundry. But I do have to do a load at least every day, because we wash more, and more than that, we have so very many more clothes. If I bunched that into one day, it would be a job that took up a good part of a day. Yep I tried having a washing day and there's no way I can get all our laundry done in a day... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Absolutely the stage. I still don't meet my standards, but I am breathing so much easier now that my kids are getting older. For 16 years, I had at least one child under 4 in the house. It. Is. Hard., especially when there are others who aren't all that much older. I was playing with Ancestry dot Com a couple of weeks ago, and census records show that almost all of my family did the multi-generation thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 I have a two year old as well. I also have a mountain of dishes that I've been avoiding for over an hour now. I've been eating Mars bars instead and I don't care. I'm a total fail at homemaker, it's a deal dh puts up with because his European mother is neurotically* clean and he values a peaceful home more than a clean one - most of the time! ;) *Said tongue in cheek, I love my mil very much - even though she tried to tell me that I was washing the dishes wrong a couple of weeks ago. Dishes are my nemesis at the moment! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooksandBoys Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Absolutely the stage. I still don't meet my standards, but I am breathing so much easier now that my kids are getting older. For 16 years, I had at least one child under 4 in the house. It. Is. Hard., especially when there are others who aren't all that much older. I was playing with Ancestry dot Com a couple of weeks ago, and census records show that almost all of my family did the multi-generation thing. When my mother visits, she usually stays for 3-4 weeks at a time. My husband realized two years ago that her visits are our chance to make forward progress on our list of tasks, or, more accurately, catch up and get back to "normal." That extra adult is essential if we want to manage anything but barely keep our heads above water with three little boys and some special needs. To that end, DH really likes it when his MIL visits. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Yes, have you ever had to do laundry without a washing machine? All of a sudden housework seems like a *breeze* once you have a washing machine again. Amazing invention. My deep and abiding love and appreciation for my clothes washer can almost make me believe in reincarnation. That in a previous life, the bane of my existence was washing clothes. One thing to remember, "Spring cleaning". Instead of the house getting a deep clean once a week, it was once a year. I missed some of the PBS shows mentioned. I remember in the Victorian one, they were given a list of products that were available then and now and told they could purchase those. They 'stole' some modern shampoo (they left cash in its place). Everyone washed their hair, then they confessed. Some things are hard to give up. BooksandBoys, yeah, we noticed the same thing. Christmas and DD's birthday are about 6 months apart. For each of those, the house makes a giant leap forward in de-cluttering and projects finished. I usually spend the next couple of days in bed recovering. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 When my mother visits, she usually stays for 3-4 weeks at a time. My husband realized two years ago that her visits are our chance to make forward progress on our list of tasks, or, more accurately, catch up and get back to "normal." That extra adult is essential if we want to manage anything but barely keep our heads above water with three little boys and some special needs. To that end, DH really likes it when his MIL visits. :-) Yes! Or, now that the kids are older, they go off to summer camp for a week (okay, youngest was day camp, but still), and somehow the couch cushions and everyone's bedding got washed that week. Plus some other things I don't recall. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Lucky for me, I pretty much enjoy housework. My problem is that I have guilt if I put time into that instead of "work" work or other responsibilities. One thing that is frustrating right now, with two 9-year-olds, is the amount of time they take to care for themselves. They can do it all for themselves, but it takes them forever. We don't have forever. If my kids are any indication, 9yos have no concept of time. We could skip the daily shower in favor of bedtime etc., but the time for that kind of flexibility is soon drawing to a close. I need to get this figured out fast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Lucky for me, I pretty much enjoy housework. My problem is that I have guilt if I put time into that instead of "work" work or other responsibilities. One thing that is frustrating right now, with two 9-year-olds, is the amount of time they take to care for themselves. They can do it all for themselves, but it takes them forever. We don't have forever. If my kids are any indication, 9yos have no concept of time. We could skip the daily shower in favor of bedtime etc., but the time for that kind of flexibility is soon drawing to a close. I need to get this figured out fast. Give them rewards for speed until speed becomes a habit? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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