WWYD in this class situation?

[plain jane]

I am looking to sign up one of my middle kids for a class and there is a choice of class, based on age range.  Said child is 10 and the class ages range from 6 - 9/10 and 10-15.  We have taken classes with this instructor before and I have spoken to her at length about how the classes will be structured.  She assures me that in the younger age range the older children are encouraged and required to help the younger ones by not only setting an excellent example for the younger kids to follow but also in physical ways (carrying heavy equipment, doing difficult tasks).  They are also asked to help keep the younger kids focussed and engaged.  A large point of this class is to build leadership skills in the older kids of the group, but that is not the focus of the class.

 

My son, being the middle child, is not accustomed to being the "older child" in a group.  In fact, time and time again, when we are at the park or have several kids together and they are younger than him he will join in with them and drops to their level of maturity and mentality.  When he is with older kids he rises and becomes more like them.  I have to admit that I do cringe when I see my older child acting like he's 7 when I know he knows a lot better.  He's definitely not what I would call a "role model."   My older kids have stepped into that role nicely and despite how many younger siblings my 10year old has, he very much has a "baby" mentality and prefers to be looked after than to do the looking after.  Not to say that he enjoys being "babied" that is not what I am saying, but he doesn't not enjoy being the older or oldest child in a group.  He does better when kids are older than him and he is challenged to rise to their level of both maturity and  thinking.

 

I got to thinking about this class, however, and how the instructor says that she will make sure that the older kids are helping the younger ones and I am wondering if such an age grouping would in fact be good for my son?  I wonder if it would give him the opportunity to HAVE to step it up and be the "older kid" or if he will continue to do what he does and will start to act like the younger ones.  A few of the younger kids are fairly rowdy and disruptive and I don't think my son would act quite like that but he would likely just get annoyed and tune out of the class rather than assume more of a leader role. 

 

I have no real experience with this.  My older children are natural leaders and on their own will tend to siblings or younger kids.  If a child falls down beside them, they will bend over and help them up, even from a very young age.  My son would glance at the fallen child, probably feel bad for him/her and walk right by.  But I don't know that a "class" can fix this?  Or can it be of help?  Of course we encourage him at home and I do think that he is more "on the spectrum" whereas I don't think my other children are.

 

He is highly opposed to be in the younger class.  I am not sure if he would not do the class at all if he were to be in the younger group, but that is likely.  However, I could talk him into it, if I felt it would be better for him.  Thing is I truly don't know.  It is a fairly expensive class (close to $400) for 3 months so I also want it to be enjoyable for him and want him to get the most out of it.

 

Is there a point where putting an older child in a class is beneficial for that child and is this that sort of situation or should I simply put him in the older class?

[Miss Mousie]

I'd put him in the older class, both in hopes that he'd step up and stretch himself and because he said he doesn't want to be in the younger class.

 

 

[OnMyOwn]

It sounds like your son would do better in the older class.  Since that's also where he wants to be, that's what I would do.  

[mamakelly]

I'd go with the older class. Not many 10 year olds want to be in a class with 6 year olds kwim?

[plain jane]

I'd go with the older class. Not many 10 year olds want to be in a class with 6 year olds kwim?

Yes. I totally agree. I would prefer to put him in the older class but then it occurred to me that maybe this was a chance for him to develop some leadership skills because he would be required to help the younger kids.

[SKL]

Older class, especially since your son wants it.

 

It might be a good idea to look for projects for your son where he could take a leadership role.  But it should be something your son wants to do IMO.

[PeachyDoodle]

I think I wouldn't pay $400 for the chance to develop those skills, which, as you said, can be encouraged and developed at home -- and which will probably develop somewhat naturally as he matures. I would let him go with the older group.

[SKL]

Yes. I totally agree. I would prefer to put him in the older class but then it occurred to me that maybe this was a chance for him to develop some leadership skills because he would be required to help the younger kids.

 

But in practice, it may be that they give the leadership jobs to kids who act more mature in the group.  If your son acts like the 8yos when he's with 8yos, the leaders may just decide he doesn't need to be given a leadership role.  Most people take the easier route rather than go against a kid's grain.

[catz]

Often in classes like that I find the majority of the kIds end up in the lower end of the age range anyway. I would definitely put him in the older group.

Edited April 2, 2016 by WoolySocks

[AmandaVT]

I'd put him in the older class. In my area, parents love to put their younger kids in classes that are for older kids. I finally had to switch DS from a homeschool tennis group (for kids 6-12) because of all the 3 year olds in it. The parents decided that it was a good opportunity for the younger siblings to join in and the fitness center is too nice, and wants the extra $$, to tell them no. So the instructor is stuck trying to keep 3 year olds from running around or hitting each other with their rackets and the older, age appropriate kids, aren't getting the instruction they should be getting. 

[Daria]

What kind of class is it?  How important is it to you that he learn the content of the class?
 

I think that leadership skills are important for kids to learn.  But if you chose this class because it taught something specific that you wanted your kid to learn, then I'd choose the class where he's most likely to be engaged and challenged in his thinking.  On the other hand, if you chose the class for more general reasons (e.g. you thought it would be fun, or you needed a class at the same time as a sibling's class, or you want him to run around and get exercise) then I might emphasize the leadership skill. 

 

Is there a family you know with younger kids who could use a Mother's helper?  He could develop those skills for free.

[poppy]

Since it's a tough one, you are unsure and he has strong feelings - I would let his be the deciding vote. Older class.

[catz]

Older class. He'll be bored to tears with the academics in the younger class. That's a HUGE age range--6-10.5. 

 

:iagree:   The tone of classes like these often cater to the youngest in the group.  I would actually be surprised if anyone over 13 signs up for the older class.  There is no way on this planet my 15 year old would want to be in an academic class with kids 12 and under.  To me, it sounds like a selling gimmick on the part of the teacher to encourage some older kids to sign up.  Sounds good in practice but rarely works out that way in person.  And I also say this as someone who teaches co-op classes on a regular basis. 

 

Edited April 2, 2016 by WoolySocks

[marbel]

Your son sounds like mine at that age.  I would put him in the older class.  Some kids (maybe boys in particular) need a lot of exposure to older kids as role models. 

 

And I agree with WoolySocks above (who is agreeing with Margaret in CO) - the class will likely be geared toward the younger kids.  I think 6-10 is a poor choice for an age range.